by S. J. West
I feel Julian drop his arm to his side. At first I think he’s simply letting me go so I can take my seat, but then I feel him grab my hand with his and twine our fingers together, showing a certain intimacy between us that doesn’t actually exist with the gesture. I look up at him and notice that he’s staring at Daniel with an almost hostile expression. Surely he isn’t still mad about earlier. Besides, that wasn’t Daniel’s fault. It was Adrian who made the vulgar suggestion that Daniel and I should have children together to satisfy both of their heir needs.
Daniel must notice Julian’s expression as well. He immediately lets go of my hand and turns to walk to the other side of the table to take his place on the right of Adrian. Julian pulls out my chair for me at the table. Reluctantly, he lets go of my hand to help me push it back up. Both vampires sit at the ends of the table with Daniel and me sitting to their right. Helen soon appears with a cart filled with eight large bowls of food. She places four of them directly in front of Daniel and the remaining four in front of me. One bowl is full of shrimp and crawdads. One is filled to the brim with the oyster stew she prepared earlier, and one has the garden salad I helped her make. The last bowl is filled with Helen’s signature, and delectable, yeast rolls.
“I picked these up for you, too,” she says, handing plastic bibs to Daniel and me. “The lady at the counter said those crawdads might make a mess, and I didn’t think you would want to ruin your clothes.”
We thank Helen for her thoughtfulness before she leaves the room. Neither of us is shy when it comes to eating, and we immediately begin to dig into our meal with gusto. I can’t believe I’m already hungry again. Absently, I notice that Helen didn’t leave anything for Julian and Adrian to eat. I assume that means they don’t eat real food, just the blood of their human companion.
“What’s in the soup?” Adrian asks, sniffing the air and raising his head a notch to peer into Daniel’s bowl.
“Oysters mostly,” Daniel replies, taking a spoonful into his mouth.
“Ahh, oysters,” Adrian nods his head as if he heartily approves of the ingredient. “I’ve often heard they make a powerful aphrodisiac.” Adrian smiles down the table at me.
Ok…hint taken…
I smile back at him. “I think you’re supposed to eat them raw, not cooked, in order to raise the libido.”
“Really?” Adrian replies, leaning forward slightly in his chair. “Do you know a lot about aphrodisiacs, dear Sarah?”
“Not really, I’m just full of useless information. I watched too much TV as a child.”
Adrian chuckles and Daniel smiles, continuing to eat his harmless oyster stew.
I chance a glance in Julian’s direction as I bring my next spoonful of soup to my mouth. The only expression I see on his face is a slight narrowing of his eyes in Adrian’s direction.
Adrian starts up a conversation with Julian in what I can only assume is Hungarian. I don’t understand a word of it and decide to concentrate on eating my meal. I have the soup eaten in no time at all and notice Daniel switch bowls just as I do. We both choose the salad next. Almost at the same time, we bring our bread bowl and shrimp and crawdad bowl in front of us. I can’t help but smile. I look over at Daniel.
“I bet I can finish mine before you do,” I challenge.
He smiles back. “You’re on, little lady.”
It’s the first time I notice the change in my agility. I’m able to manipulate the shells off the shrimp and heads and tails off the crawdads so quickly my eyes are having a hard time keeping up with what my hands are doing. Unfortunately, I don’t win. Daniel finishes literally two seconds before I do.
“I win!” he says, raising his hands in victory as if he just completed the Tour de France in record time.
“Only because you’ve had more practice with this super agility thing,” I tell him, begrudgingly admitting defeat.
“Don’t be a sore loser,” Daniel says with a quick wink in my direction as he picks up the napkin from his lap to wipe the juices and seasoning off his hands.
“I’m not,” I answer back. “In fact, since you won, I’ll take you to the kitchen and make you a banana split. I’m pretty sure I saw everything we need for those in there earlier.”
“Well, I can’t pass that up.” Daniel immediately scoots his chair out from the table and stands.
I guess it isn’t until then that I notice how quiet our vampire companions have become. I look over at Julian and see him watching me with a guarded expression.
“Enjoy your dessert,” is all he says to me.
“We will,” I reply. I feel as though I’ve done something wrong in his eyes, but I don’t have a clue what it is.
As I wait for Daniel to come to my side of the table so we can walk to the kitchen together, I glance at Adrian and see his mouth stretch into a gloating grin. He’s happy to see a blossoming friendship develop between Daniel and me. I’m sure he hopes we’ll become even more than that to one another.
I lead Daniel down the hallway to the kitchen. Helen is wiping the counters down as her last task to make the kitchen spotlessly clean.
“Done already?” she asks flabbergasted, looking at the clock on the microwave oven to check the time. “Did I not prepare enough?”
“There was plenty,” I assure her, opening the freezer compartment and finding the box of Neapolitan ice cream I spied earlier while I was helping to prepare the salads. “We just thought it was time for dessert.”
I grab a couple of bananas from the fruit bowl by the refrigerator.
“Well, I guess I had better go get your dirty dishes. Then I’ll be through for the evening.”
“Let me help you with that,” Daniel offers.
It’s just as well. By the time I have our banana splits ready, Daniel and Helen have the dirty dishes back and in the dishwasher.
Our desserts turn out much larger than I had originally planned. I end up using three bananas each. I split the carton of Neapolitan right down the middle and decorate my creations with chocolate syrup, caramel syrup, maraschino cherries, nuts, and whipped cream. They almost look like one of those desserts at roadside cafés where they dare you to eat it all in one sitting for a free meal.
We decide to eat our sinfully delicious banana splits out on the patio at the table by the pool.
Daniel holds my chair out for me just like Julian did at supper. After he sits down and takes his first bite of the ice cream, he moans in pleasure.
“There’s nothing better than eating things so chock full of calories that they would make regular people scream and run away in disgust.”
“So, they weren’t just pulling my leg?” I ask. “I won’t gain any weight from eating all this food?”
“Nope, not an ounce; isn’t it wonderful?” He smiles like a kid who was given the keys to a candy store before shoving another spoonful of ice cream into his mouth.
I can’t help but laugh at him. We both become distracted with wanting to finish our ice cream as soon as we can. I think it only takes us about five minutes to clean our bowls. Daniel sits back in his seat and rubs his slightly bulging belly gratifyingly.
“That was just what I needed. Thank you, Sarah.”
“You’re most welcome, Daniel.” I sit back in my chair and tilt my head back far enough to look up at the stars in the sky. It’s a brilliantly clear summer night. The stars twinkle above us like diamonds encrusting a tapestry.
I feel Daniel’s eyes on me so I continue to stare up at the sky, curious to see where his emotions go. I know he’s happy. But I assume that’s just from the feeling of being satisfied by all the food we just ate. He also seems curious. I can only guess he wants to know more about me and how I’m coping with a world he was probably raised in. If I’m being honest, I’m curious about Daniel, too.
Then his feelings betray him. Like a lot of men, he has a moment of lust. I’m flattered, but I don’t want him to get any misleading ideas about me. With all the talk Adrian did earlier about mating the two
of us, it’s no wonder Daniel’s thoughts turn to sex. I reason that it’s only a natural response to the events of the day. He probably isn’t genuinely interested in me that way, but the idea of us becoming lovers has been planted in his mind. The power of suggestion can be a hard one to resist.
I sit up straighter in my chair and look over at Daniel.
“So where do you and Adrian live?” I ask, attempting to get his mind to switch gears.
“We’ve lived a lot of places. At the moment, we have a home in New York City. It’s easier to keep a low profile in cities as large as that one. There are so many people there hardly anyone pays much attention to you unless you want them to.”
Unexpectedly, I feel Julian leave the house again. I close my eyes against the pain that forms inside my chest and let out a heavy sigh in disappointment. How often does he intend to leave me like this?
“I hate it when he does that,” I say, unconsciously touching my chest, feeling as though a piece of it has just been unceremoniously ripped out again.
“Julian left?” Daniel asks in surprise, already having surmised the cause for my distress.
I open my eyes and nod. “Do you feel empty inside when you’re away from Adrian?”
“We all get that feeling. I think it’s meant to keep us close to one another.”
“Well, it’s certainly effective.” I tried to keep the frustration I’m feeling out of my voice, but I know I failed miserably.
“You’ll get used to it after a while,” Daniel tries to reassure me. “It’s always more painful right after the bonding ceremony.”
If Julian knows how his leaving can affect me, why does he keep doing it? Maybe he doesn’t care about me at all. If he did, he wouldn’t intentionally hurt me this way. I hope what Daniel said is right because I really do want to keep my teaching position. But if being away from Julian continues to feel this torturous, I’m not sure that’ll be possible.
“Mind if I ask you a personal question?” Daniel asks, looking at me shyly.
“Ask away,” I reply, considering myself an open book. There isn’t much in my life that I try to hide from people. Although, with the introduction of Julian into my life, that will inevitably have to change. Now, I do have something that I have to keep secret, even from the ones I love.
“Would you want to go out on a date with me sometime?”
Uh-oh.
“Is this you asking or Adrian asking?”
Daniel grins. “I’m the one asking. I already told Adrian to get those ideas out of his head. But I can’t help it if he’s put some into mine.”
“I don’t know, Daniel…” Right away, I realize I have the perfect out of this awkward situation. “Julian and I are planning to tell all my friends that we’re dating. That way we can introduce him into my life naturally. I don’t think it would be a good idea to date two guys at once. It would just be too out of character for me. I’m pretty sure my friends would get suspicious.”
Daniel hangs his head. “And she lets me down easy with the ol’ ‘my vampire is my boyfriend’ excuse.”
I know he’s sincerely disappointed but he chooses to blow it off as a joke, which is fine with me. I don’t want this conversation to get too serious. I want to keep Daniel at arm’s length and just as a friend for now, nothing more. All I need in my life are more complications.
“I’m flattered that you asked,” I tell him, which is the truth. I don’t get asked out much, which is probably my own fault. I just don’t socialize enough to get asked out. Daniel is someone I would have tried dating if the circumstances were different.
I feel Julian return home and know he’s close by. I glance in the direction of the pool house and see him standing in the shadows beside it, watching Daniel and me. Normally, I would have felt creeped out by someone hiding in the dark, watching me. But I feel oddly protected by Julian’s voyeurism. Plus, he has to realize I know he’s there. Why is he hiding?
“Thank you for letting me down easy,” Daniel says. “Can we hang out together occasionally? I have a feeling Adrian plans to stay in New Orleans for a while. It would be nice to have a friend to do things with from time to time.”
“I would like that. Besides, you never know where friendship can lead.”
At least that gets a big smile out of my new friend.
“Very true,” he agrees.
I feel Julian leave again. I can only assume he flew away because of the suddenness of his departure and the distance he’s able to cross in such a short amount of time. I’m not sure why, but I get the feeling Julian doesn’t like me spending time with Daniel. I know he probably heard us with his ‘super hearing’. Why my making a new friend would upset him, I have no idea.
“Daniel!” we hear Adrian call from the direction of the house. “I’m hungry!”
Daniel looks over at me and rolls his eyes. “Nothing like being treated like a traveling blood bag,” he quips but stands from his chair. He picks up his empty bowl. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, Sarah. I normally just end up falling asleep after he takes what he wants from me.”
“Sweet dreams, Daniel,” I say, feeling sorry for my new friend and the tense relationship he seems to have with his vampire companion.
Daniel walks back to the house, but I stay put. I don’t particularly want to have to exchange pleasantries with Adrian. I would much rather just ignore his existence.
I remain outside for well over half an hour, hoping to feel Julian’s return. When he doesn’t come back to the house, I pick up my empty bowl and walk back into the kitchen. I find Helen sitting at the table with a cup of tea in one hand and the local newspaper in the other. She looks up at me and smiles, but I just don’t have the will to lie about how I truly feel.
“Why isn’t he here?” I ask her as I stand stock-still, on the verge of tears over Julian’s absence.
“Oh dear,” she says, standing from her seat and coming over to take the empty bowl out of my hand. “Why don’t you sit down? I’ll make you a cup of tea.”
Like a zombie, I do as she asks because I honestly don’t have a better idea of how to spend my time.
After Helen brings me a cup of the same tea she’s drinking, she sits back down in her chair.
“Doesn’t he know how much I need him right now?” I ask her as unwelcome tears begin to blur my vision. I hate crying, but I find that I can’t stop myself from doing it in this situation.
“I don’t know what’s going through his mind right now,” Helen admits with a shake of her head in disappointment. “He’s never left a newly-made companion before.”
“Is there something wrong with me?” I sob, unable to control what are essentially irrepressible feelings. I’ve never felt this vulnerable before in my life. It’s all strange to me, and I know the one person who should care that I’m hurting this much doesn’t seem to care at all. Julian’s indifference to my suffering is what hurts me the most. He obviously isn’t concerned about the pain he’s causing me, but I don’t know how to fix that. I don’t even know if it can be fixed.
“Selfish git,” I hear Helen mumble under her breath as she stands from her chair and walks over to give me a hug. “Don’t you worry, my dear, I’m going to give him an earful when he finally does show his ungrateful face around here again. He knows how much you’re giving up to become his companion. He should be showing you more respect than this, that’s for sure!”
I allow myself to cry while Helen does her best to comfort me. I’m grateful to hear her take up for my feelings, and wonder what my life would have been like if she had helped raise me. I can well imagine us being good friends.
Once I pull myself together, I tell her that I’m exhausted and just need to get some sleep. It’s mostly true, but I also just want to work through my feelings in solitude. I feel like I’m acting irrationally. I’ve never been one to cry at the drop of a hat, but there doesn’t seem to be anything I can do about it.
“Some rest will do you good,” she agrees. “And
don’t fret about Julian. He’ll come home soon. I know he will.”
I walk up to my room and find a pair of pajamas already laid out for me on my bed. I silently thank Helen for her thoughtfulness. I’m certain Julian didn’t do it. To him, I’m just an afterthought.
After I change clothes and slip into bed, the emptiness of not having Julian close by overwhelms me again. I feel betrayed. I feel unloved and uncared for by him. The one person in the world who is supposed to care for and protect me has chosen not to be there when I need him the most. The ache inside my chest grows to unbearable proportions, like a heavy weight of despair has completely replaced my heart. I can’t prevent the sobs that wrack my body and pierce my soul.
I’m not sure how long I cry: minutes, hours? Finally, I feel his body press against my back as he wraps his arms around me, enveloping me in his warmth. Involuntarily, I turn into him, resting my head on his naked chest but still sobbing.
“I’m sorry, Sarah,” he murmurs, running one hand up and down my back in a comforting motion. “I should have come back sooner.”
Damn right you should have, I want to scream at him. You shouldn’t have left me in the first place, is what I want to say but I can’t seem to stop crying long enough to get the words out of my mouth. I’m mad at and happy with him all at the same time. Mad that he left me when I needed him and happy he returned and is holding me in his arms now.
Unexpectedly, he begins to sing to me. I’m not sure what he’s saying. It sounds like the language he was speaking in with Adrian. The song has the lilting cadence of a lullaby. Julian isn’t the greatest singer in the world, but it doesn’t bother me. At least he’s showing that he cares, even if it’s only a little bit. Could it be that he isn’t the heartless wretch I thought he was?
