Moonshade (Vampire Conclave: Book 1)

by S. J. West

  I climb onto the bed, being careful not to jar Julian with my movements. All I need is to make the situation even worse. I brace my hands on either side of his head and lean down to whisper into his ear.

  “Julian, please, don’t leave me,” I beg. “I need you.”

  When I look back at his face, I see his eyelids slowly flutter open. The grimace of pain etched on his too-pale skin almost makes me wish I hadn’t awoken him.

  I lean down and press my neck against his mouth so he can feel the throbbing vein there between his lips.

  “Drink, Julian,” I beg.

  “Sarah…” he whispers weakly in protest.

  “Drink,” I order more forcefully, because I’m not about to lose him to some dumb tree limb.

  I feel his teeth clamp down and bite. At first he only suckles on my blood, too weak to do much else. After a minute or so, he regains enough strength to swallow in a steady, rhythmic pattern.

  Petru comes to stand beside us.

  “This is going to hurt, my friend,” he warns Julian as he wraps his hands around the wood. “I’m sorry.”

  Petru yanks the limb out of Julian’s chest in one quick movement.

  I feel Julian wince. His groan of pain vibrates against my neck, and I feel his jaw clamp down even harder on my throat, sucking out my blood so fast I can actually feel it flow out of the holes in my neck as he drinks.

  I start to become woozy and know that I’m going to lose consciousness soon. He’s taking too much of my blood too fast, but I don’t know if I should tell him to stop. I assume he’ll know when he’s taken enough for him to survive. Everything around me begins to spin out of control, and I start to see floating dark circles. I feel so tired my bones begin to ache, and all I want to do is lie down. I can’t seem to keep my eyes open as I slump down on top of Julian, my life force draining away.

  “Julian,” I hear Petru say anxiously. “You have to stop! You’re killing her!”

  I immediately feel Julian’s teeth release their hold on my throat.

  “I’ll take her to her room,” I hear Daniel offer.

  “No!” Julian cradles me to his chest protectively. “Leave us! I will take care of her.”

  Julian’s protest is so adamant I don’t hear anyone try to object. The only sound I hear is the shuffling of feet and the click of the door being closed.

  I want to open my eyes and tell Julian I’m all right, but I have absolutely no energy left to do something so simple. I know I’m on the verge of death. I feel eager to let the darkness envelop my soul and finally reunite me with my parents.

  “Sarah,” the sadness in Julian’s voice forces me to refocus my thoughts on him and turn my back on the sweet succor death is so kindly offering. “Sarah, I need you too. Please, don’t leave me now. Not after it’s taken me this long to find someone like you.”

  “I’m not leaving,” I tell him drowsily. “Just let me sleep, Julian. Just let me sleep.”

  If I can just take a little nap, maybe it will be enough to help me regain my energy. I hope that when I wake up, I can find out what the kiss Julian and I shared earlier in the evening really meant to him.

  I’m not sure how much time passes before I awaken from a dreamless sleep. I immediately feel the silky warmth of someone holding me close. When I muster up the strength to open my eyes, I find myself staring directly at Julian’s bare, but healed, chest. His arms are holding me protectively close to him.

  “It worked,” I say, lifting a hand to touch the spot on his chest from where the tree limb had been protruding the night before. I tilt my head up so I can look at his face.

  He doesn’t try to hide what he feels for me in this moment like he normally does. I can clearly see his relief on his face now that I’m finally awake.

  “I almost killed you last night,” he says, as if the bed we’re in is a confessional.

  “But you didn’t,” I’m quick to remind him. “I’m alive. I’m perfectly fine.” That isn’t the complete truth. My neck hurts a bit, which seems strange. My throat feels sore and stiff, like it’s been bruised.

  “You’re a horrible liar.” He gently glides the tips of his fingers along the curve of my throat until he reaches the spot where he bit me.

  I wince involuntarily.

  Julian sighs.

  “I’m sorry,” he says, his voice full of remorse. “My bite went too deep. It will take you longer to recover from it this time. I should have had better self-control. I promise you that won’t happen again.”

  I look back down at his chest and run my hand over where the limb had been. There isn’t even a scar.

  “What happened last night?” I ask. “How did you end up with a limb in your chest?”

  “It was complete chaos when I got back here.” Julian’s tone tells me he didn’t expect to come back and find things so out of control. “The alfar guard had to help us separate the witches and warlocks from the werewolves. One of the wolves snatched the limb off the ground and threw it straight at Mira’s back.”

  I should have known he was injured doing something heroic.

  “So you stepped in the way to save her from being impaled by it?”

  “Yes. I’ve always been her protector. It was just instinct to do what I did. Luckily it missed my heart, but just barely. I’m sorry I put your life in danger like that, Sarah. If I had bled out…”

  “It’s all right, Julian. You did what you had to do to protect your sister. I understand that.”

  “No, it isn’t all right. I should have been more careful. If anything ever happened to you because of me…”

  I can see the fear he feels from his brash act of chivalry quite clearly on his face. I take his hand and place it over my heart. He looks down, staring at our joined hands.

  “I didn’t die,” I remind him, letting him feel the beating of my heart. “I’m perfectly fine.”

  He keeps his hand over my heart even after I drop mine away. I feel its warmth slide down my chest, grazing the side of one breast through my bra as it comes to rest against my waist.

  I can’t tell what he’s thinking in that moment. Is he remembering the kiss we shared the night before? Does he intend to kiss me like that again now? I desperately want him to. I want to see if it will help me sort out what my feelings truly are for him.

  “Did you undress me?” I ask him.

  He nods, looking in my eyes. “I thought you would be more comfortable. Besides, the top of it was soaked with blood. I also had to change out the bedding.”

  “Too bad you stopped at only the dress,” I tease, watching for his reaction.

  Julian grins. My heart aches with happiness when I see it.

  “I would have taken the rest off, but I didn’t think you would appreciate waking up naked in my arms.”

  I laugh nervously. “True. I suppose I should feel grateful to you for protecting my modesty.”

  We fall silent for a moment. I feel like he wants to say something else to me, but he either isn’t sure how to say it or isn’t sure what my reaction will be, perhaps both.

  “Sarah,” he begins hesitantly, “are you hungry?”

  I know it isn’t the question he was deliberating about, but the mention of food refocuses my mind and makes it a top priority.

  “I’m starving. Can you take me down to the kitchen to get something to eat?”

  “No,” he says, getting out of bed. “I’ll bring you something to eat. You need to rest, especially since you haven’t eaten since yesterday. With the amount of blood I took from you last night, I’m surprised you’re not feeling the after-effects of it this morning.”

  “I feel ok,” I tell him, rising to a sitting position. Julian puts two pillows against the headboard for me to lean back on and brings the comforter up to my waist. I still feel a bit too exposed, though.

  “Can you go to my room and get me a shirt?” I ask him.

  Instead, Julian looks in his overnight bag and pulls out a long-sleeve white button-down shirt. He
walks back over to the bed and hands it to me.

  “Will this do for now?” he asks.

  I nod, slipping the shirt on and buttoning it up.

  Julian leans down and kisses me on the cheek. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

  “Ok.”

  I watch him walk out the door and can’t help but sigh at the loss of his presence. So, we’ve gone from a passionate, toe-curling kiss to a brotherly one on the cheek in less than a few hours. Great.

  “Meow.”

  I look over at the chair by the window and see Viktor curled up there, watching me with his curiously observant blue eyes.

  “I don’t understand him at all,” I say to the cat, needing someone to talk to about Julian. “Do you?”

  “Meow.” Viktor leaps from the chair to the bed in one smooth arc of feline agility. He saunters up to me and lies down on my lap, facing me.

  I rub his side, finding comfort in his closeness.

  “Maybe I should figure out how I feel about him first, what do you think?” I ask him. I suddenly wish I could call Kaylee, but I left my cell phone at Julian’s house. Helen would understand, but I have no clue where she is right now. Attempting to use a cat as a surrogate for my friends seems stupid, but what else can I do?

  “You were there when he kissed me last night,” I tell Viktor. “I’ve never been kissed by a friend like that. So it has to mean he might actually have feelings for me, right?”

  “Meow.”

  I take that as a yes.

  “I just wish he would give me some sign that he remembers kissing me. Why didn’t he say anything about it?” The more I ponder that question, the more aggravated I become.

  By the time Julian returns to the room with a tray full of food, I’m ready to pounce on him like Viktor might a mouse and demand to know what the kiss we shared the previous night really meant to him. As fate would have it, I’m not given the opportunity because Helen and Daniel follow him into the room.

  “You gave us such a fright last night,” Helen says, coming to stand at the foot of the bed, with Daniel by her side.

  “I thought you were a goner for sure,” Daniel admits, looking relieved to see me alive.

  “I’m fine,” I assure them both. “Just hungry.”

  On the tray is a platter with five omelets, a bowl of link sausages, another plate filled with beignets sprinkled with powdered sugar, and a pitcher of freshly squeezed orange juice. Viktor relinquishes his position on my lap so Julian can stand the tray across my thighs. I start eating the beignets immediately.

  “Do you need anything else?” Julian asks me.

  I shake my head since my mouth is full.

  “I’ll be back up in a little while. I need to take care of something.” He turns to Helen and Daniel. “Don’t leave her alone until she’s finished eating her breakfast. She should regain her strength afterwards, but until then I would rather one or both of you stay with her.”

  “I won’t leave,” Daniel is quick to reply as he walks over to sit on the opposite side of the bed from me, indicating he’s taking a watchful post.

  Julian raises a critical eyebrow at him but doesn’t say anything before he leaves the room. However, he does push the door to the bedroom wide open behind him.

  After Julian is gone, Daniel fills Helen and me in on what really started the fight at Mira’s party.

  “Apparently one of the witches had been flirting with Damien all night. Do you know the pack leader of the New Orleans werewolves?”

  “Not personally,” I say through a mouthful of sausage, “but I saw him there last night.”

  “Well, she had been leading him on all night. When she started to brush him off like he was a mangy mutt, he got upset and grabbed her by the arms, calling her a whore and all sorts of other crude names. That’s when the witch’s brother sent up the warning spell, but once you get a werewolf riled there’s really nothing you can do to make them back off. Once Damien attacked the witch’s brother, the other witches and warlocks got involved. When that happened, Damien’s pack attacked to defend their leader.”

  “Julian mentioned that the alfar guard helped get things under control,” I say.

  “Yeah, you don’t want to mess with an alfar if you don’t have to. They’re taught from an early age how to fight with all types of weapons, including their bare hands. I don’t know if that’s why Mira always invites them to her parties or not, but they certainly came in handy at this one. Between them and the four vampires that were there, it still took a long time before they had things under control. I don’t think Mira will be having any more parties anytime soon. And Damien is definitely on the outs with her since someone from his own pack tried to kill her with that tree limb.”

  “But why did he try to kill her?”

  “From what I understand, Mira and Damien have been lovers for quite a while now. It could be that Damien got jealous of Adrian being here, and ordered his pack to kill Mira if they were given an opportunity to do so. Wolves are like that. They would rather kill their mate than share.”

  “Lovely,” I quip sarcastically.

  “Well, enough talk about jealous werewolves,” Helen says with a wave of her hand. “I’ll go to your room and find you something suitable to wear,” she tells me. “Won’t be but a moment, dear.”

  Helen leaves the room and shuts the door behind her. I wish she had left it open like Julian did. It doesn’t feel proper to be in a room alone with Daniel, especially since I’m half-naked. I concentrate on cutting up one of the omelets, doing my best to ignore the fact that Daniel has scooted further across the bed, making the distance between us disappear.

  “Where did Julian take you when the fight broke out?” he asks me.

  “Saint Louis Cathedral.”

  “Ahh, that makes sense.”

  “Why do you say that?” I ask, shoving a large piece of egg into my mouth, trying to look as unattractive as I possibly can.

  “Vamps can’t stand on hallowed ground, and a werewolf will never kill you in a holy place. They think it’s bad luck.”

  “What happens to a vampire when they try to stand on holy ground?”

  “They get thrown off it.”

  I swallow the food in my mouth quickly. “Are you serious? By what?”

  Daniel shrugs. “Who knows? The hand of God maybe?”

  I think of myself as a Christian, not a devout one who attends church every Sunday but one who believes in God in my own way. The thought of Him refusing to let Julian walk across holy ground seems ludicrous. He can’t help what he was made into.

  “Sarah…” I hear Daniel say in a hesitant voice, filled with portent.

  Uh-oh. Here it comes. I brace myself for whatever it is Daniel is about to ask me.

  “I was wondering if you would like to go see the Louisiana Philharmonic with me. They’re having a performance in a couple of weeks.”

  If Daniel only saw me as a friend and not a potential girlfriend, I would have said yes right away. But I know what he wants, and I have no desire to lead him on. He’s a good person, and I don’t want to give him the wrong impression.

  I set my fork down on my plate.

  “Daniel, I’m really flattered by your offer but I can’t do that right now. I need to figure some things out first. If we had met a week ago, I probably could have given you the answer you want, but now…”

  “Sarah… he can’t love you.”

  I stare at him, wondering if he’s been hiding the fact that he can read minds from me all this time. “What do you mean?”

  “If you think Julian can return the feelings you have for him, you’re wrong. Vampires can’t love anyone.”

  “How do you know that?” I ask defensively.

  “Adrian told me once. He said ever since they were changed, and bonded with the one person in the world they loved the most, none of them has been able to feel real love for anyone. Julian will never love you the same way you love him. You’d be wasting yourself on him, Sarah. A
t least think about my offer before you dismiss it because you think you’re in love with Julian.”

  I remember Helen telling me that Julian seemed incapable of returning the love she felt for him when they were together. Is it possible that what Daniel says is true, and none of them can fall in love? Is it part of their curse?

  Helen walks back into the room with the T-shirt and jeans I had packed for our trip home.

  Daniel stands from his seat on the bed. “I’ll go so you can get dressed. Don’t leave without saying goodbye.”

  Once Daniel is out of the room, I work on finishing my breakfast. Viktor saunters across the bed to sit by my side, and we both watch Helen arrange my clothes on the chair by the window.

  “Do you really believe what you told me a few days ago? That vampires are incapable of loving anyone?”

  Helen looks over at me. “Yes, I think it might be true,” she replies. “And I also think that it’s quite possible for miracles to happen. My most fervent hope is that you can help Julian find a way to love again. Perhaps you’re the person he’s been waiting for. I don’t know. I wish I could tell you. All I do know is that he cares for you deeply, more than I’ve ever seen him care about anyone else since I’ve known him. But I’m not the person who can tell you if Julian loves you or not, Sarah. Only he can answer that question.”

  It’s an honest answer, and I can’t ask for more than that from her.

  Once I finish my breakfast, Helen offers to take my tray back down to the kitchen. I thank her and get out of bed after she’s gone. Viktor lies at the foot of the mattress and watches me as I change clothes. I don’t know why, but having him keep an eye on me so intently begins to make me feel uncomfortable. I turn my back to him and begin to change into my clothes. I have my jeans on and am just reaching for my T-shirt when Julian walks into the room unannounced. I quickly turn my back to him and slip my shirt over my head.

  When I turn back around to face him he’s still standing only a couple of steps inside the room, staring at me.