Taming Lo: A You and I Novel

by Melissa Toppen

  “Can't. I promised the wife I would go with her to her dance recital tomorrow night.” He says.

  “Wow. Bentley Reed. Going to a dance recital. Never thought I'd see the day.” I laugh, running my hand through my hair as I stare up at the ceiling.

  “Anna choreographed the dance and it's her first recital since her mom Patty passed away. It's kind of a big deal for her.” He says, clearly not finding humor in my reaction.

  “No, I know.” I say, instantly feeling like the worlds biggest asshole. “Sorry I missed tonight.” I tack on.

  “No worries man. Listen, a few of us are meeting up at Piermans Thursday for dinner and drinks. You should come. Derek is the head chef there and I'm sure he would like to see you. It's only been what, like five years?” He laughs, referring to one of our college buddies that I haven't seen since I moved to Philly.

  “Close yeah.” I say. “What time?” I ask, knowing I have nothing better to do.

  “Seven o'clock.”

  “Alright sounds good. I will see you then.” I say, waiting for his acknowledgment before clicking off the phone and tossing it back down onto the night stand.

  Chapter Eight

  Lo

  “I knew it. You totally slept with him.” Anna whispers excitedly from her place beside me at the dinner table. I knew when I agreed to join her and a few others for dinner and drinks, that she would want to know what happened Saturday.

  “Don't act so surprised. It was pretty much a done deal before we even left the reception.” I laugh.

  “So..... Tell me everything.” She bounces in the seat next to me. “Was it as good as you hoped?” She asks.

  “Would you be quiet?” I laugh, shaking my head at her as I look around the table. Not that I care if Bentley or Shira know but I would prefer to keep it from others that work at the club. Specifically Malcolm and Chelle. While I may like to know other people's business, it doesn't mean I want people to know mine.

  Malcolm is new to management at Allure and Chelle used to be one of the dancers but has since moved to tending bar. I guess since her and Malcolm are getting married soon, she didn't feel it was appropriate to continue to dance so Bentley agreed to give her Malcolm's old job.

  “No one is even paying attention to us.” She nudges my shoulder, pulling my attention back to her. “Come on.” She whines. “I'm fat and married now. The least you can do is let me in on your exciting sexcapades.” She laughs when I turn wide eyes on her. “What?” She asks innocently.

  “You're ridiculous.” I laugh. “And for your information, it was better than I imagined..... So much better.” I say, giving her everything she needs to know.

  “Oh I knew it.” She squeals under her breath. “You can tell just by looking at him that he could probably fuck a girl from here to Sunday.” She laughs at her own phrasing.

  “You have no idea.” I sigh. “Honestly Anna. I just....” I start, but then immediately freeze when out of the corner of my eye I catch someone approaching our table. I don't even have to look all the way up to know it's him.

  “There he is.” I hear Bentley say just as I turn in his direction. The moment my eyes land on his face, my stomach twists violently and I can feel the heat flush to my cheeks. What the hell is he doing here? He doesn't look in my direction as he takes the seat between Bentley and Shira, reaching across the table to shake Malcolm's hand.

  “Did you know he was coming?” I turn towards Anna, trying to keep my whisper where only she can hear.

  “Bentley mentioned it but I didn't know for sure. Why? Is everything okay?” She asks, clearly not missing my panicked reaction.

  “Yeah, fine.” I brush it off, trying to act unphased by Dax's unexpected appearance. “I need to run to the ladies for a moment.” I say, excusing myself from the table without looking in his direction again.

  The minute I duck inside the lavish bathrooms, I lean against the sink and try to pull myself together. I knew I would see him again. Hell, tomorrow he is technically my boss and I will see him nearly everyday. I need to snap out of this and get over whatever my malfunction is.

  Looking up at my refection, I straighten my black wrap dress and push my long waves away from my face. My cheeks are a little flushed but other than that, you would never know there is a battle raging deep inside of me. A war that I have been fighting for years, but one that I never thought I would have to come face to face with again... Feelings.

  I don't know how else to describe it. I don't feel. Not where men are concerned. I don't get butterflies. I don't get excited to see them. I don't think about them again after we hook up. But that is not the case here. Dax has consumed my thoughts since the moment I practically ran out of his hotel room Saturday night.

  I keep telling myself that it's the physical attraction, that it will pass. But the more I tell myself not to think about him, the more I do. I knew I would see him, I just wasn't prepared for tonight to be that night.

  “Hey.” I hear Anna just as she appears through the doorway. “You okay?” She asks, coming to a stop just to my left.

  “Yeah. I'm good.” I say, flipping on the water as I begin washing my hands.

  “Do you want to tell me what's going on now or do you plan to continue to treat me like an idiot?” She asks, cocking her head to the side.

  “What?” I blurt, shaking my head in her direction.

  “What is up girl?” She asks, leaning over and shutting off my water. “Seriously? You can tell me.”

  “He just.... I don't know.” I say, letting out a loud exhale and shaking my head as I reach for a paper towel to dry my hands with.

  “Oh. My. God.” Her mouth drops open and she gapes at me. “You like him.” A huge smile stretches across her entire face.

  “Shut up.” I shake my head at her. “The sex was really good. That's all.”

  “You can lie to yourself all you want Lauren Hannock but I know you. And you like him.” She smiles wider. “Admit it. That's why you froze up when he showed up just now. That's why you ran in here. Isn't it?”

  “Fine. Okay.” I finally cave, knowing that if there is one person I can talk to about this, it's Anna. “I feel something. I don't know how to explain it, but Saturday night after we had sex, he pulled me into his arms and this feeling just flooded through me.”

  “The kind of feeling that just warms you all over and in some unexplainable way, makes you feel..... safe?” She asks, waiting until I nod my head before continuing. “I know exactly what you mean. It's how I felt the first time Bentley wrapped his arms around me and every time he has done so since then. I had a hard time processing what it meant early on but eventually, I just accepted it for what it was.”

  “Well I panicked.” I shake my head. “I was dressed and practically running out of his room in the matter of two minutes. And now, I am so embarrassed by the way I behaved, I don't even know how to talk to him.” I admit.

  “Lo.” Anna reaches out and rests her hand on my forearm. “Sometimes when things don't turn out as we expect, it's scary. But the fact that you felt something for him, no matter how small, that's a big step for you.” She says, not even realizing just how big of a step it is.

  Anna knows me well but she only knows who I am now. She knows nothing of the girl I used to be. She doesn't know what happened in my past. She can't possibly understand why letting myself feel something for a man is the last thing I can do.

  Dax is a player, that much is crystal clear. He's the male version of me. He was supposed to be safe, but he isn't safe. I just wish I had realized that earlier. I can't let my guard down with him. I have to put this situation behind me. I can't let another man in, especially not one like Dax.

  “I'm just really attracted to him. It will pass.” I swipe my hand through the air like it's no big deal. “Now come on. I'm starving.” I say, letting my cool confidence slip back into place.

  Something about Dax's presence sends me all over the place, but if I can just keep the mask up and my shield i
n place, I should be able to fake my way through this evening without anyone picking up on the fact that I am a bit out of sorts, especially Dax.

  Anna gives me a sweet smile and nods, following me out of the bathroom without another word. I know she sees through the facade but she chooses not to push it for my sake. I have to remind myself that just months ago, Anna was very much like me. Independent, without commitment. And then out of no where, she met Bentley. A man who consumed her. A man who changed her. A man who taught her how to love.

  I take a deep breath as we pass the floor to ceiling aquariums that line the center of the restaurant, Dax coming into view through the crystal water and fish swimming in the tank. I don't expect him to be looking in my direction, so when his eyes catch mine for a fraction of a second, I instinctively turn away.

  Following Anna, we reclaim our seats at the table just moments later. Bentley leans over and kisses Anna on the temple and she immediately snuggles into his side. While they are extremely cute together, they are also a bit nauseating if I'm being honest.

  I look up to find Dax staring at me, a knowing smile pulling up the corners of his handsome face. He knows exactly what I was thinking. It's likely he was thinking the exact same thing. I immediately relax, feeling the awkward weight that sat so heavily on my shoulders just moments ago, lift slightly.

  I turn my attention to the menu and don't look in his direction again until the waiter has taken our orders. When I turn back to him, he's staring again, the same playful smirk across his face. I shake my head at him and roll my eyes which only seems to egg him on more.

  That's when I feel it. His foot skirt up my leg from under the table. I jump the moment the contact is made and cough lightly to try and cover up my sudden movement. “Wrong hole.” I shake my head at Anna as I set my wine glass back on the table. This only causes Dax's smile to grow wider.

  Giving him a warning glare, I shake my head slowly back and forth, silently telling him to stop. I can see the challenge in his eyes but he doesn't attempt to do it again. Damn it, why does he have to be so damn sexy?

  Tonight he's dressed in dark jeans and a button down white shirt with a stylish black button down vest over top of it. He looks like he's on his way to a photo shoot for some clothing designer ad. His sleeves are rolled to his elbows and I find myself staring at his tattoos on many different occasions throughout the night.

  They all bleed together into this beautiful artistic creation but I struggle to figure out what each individual one is. There is definitely a cross on his left forearm. And the initials CTR on his wrist. I can't help but wonder what CTR stands for.

  After two hours of eating more food than any group of people should consume in one sitting and drinking even more wine, Bentley and Anna are the first to head out. Chelle and Malcolm go next. Deciding I don't want to be the last one to leave, especially given that Dax is still here, I excuse myself to the bathroom with the intention of heading out as soon as I return. Unfortunately, by the time I make it back to the table, Shira and Ethan are gone and only a bright eyed, smiling Dax remains.

  “And then there were two.” He smiles sheepishly, looking so boyishly cute in this moment, I swoon a little, which is so not like me. I blame the wine.

  “It would appear so.” I say, reclaiming my seat.

  “Can I ask you something?” He asks, his playfulness falling away. “Did I do something?” He leans forward to rest his elbows on the table in front of him, his eyes not breaking away from mine.

  “What do you mean?” I ask, confused by his question.

  “Saturday. You left so quickly. I hope I didn't do anything to offend you.” He says, seeming to really care.

  “Not at all. I told you, I had some stuff to take care of.” I lie.

  “Okay.” He nods his head but continues to study me with unsure eyes. “If you're sure.”

  “I'm sure.” I smile, letting the effects of the wine guide me through the conversation without letting my real issue show through. “And you were right by the way. I definitely felt you for days.” I say, trying to ignore how his eyes go dark at my words.

  My stomach twists under his heated glare and I gather my things as quickly as I can, knowing I need to leave... Now. I'm playing a dangerous game and I know it. The sooner I get out of here, the better.

  “It was nice seeing you again Mr. Riley.” I stand, sliding my coat over my shoulders.

  I don't want to leave. I don't want this night to end yet. I have enjoyed the flirtatious looks and funny faces that Dax has thrown my way all night. I would even go as far to say that at one point I was even a bit giddish. It's stomach turning, but unfortunately very true. Something about this man just makes me feel, I don't know.... Different.

  “The pleasure was all mine.” Dax says seductively, standing from the table as he puts his own coat on as well.

  Dear Lord, please give me the strength to resist this man, is all I can think as we make our way out of the restaurant. “Come on, I'll drive you home.” He says, his hand falling to the small of my back as he guides me out of the restaurant and into the cold night air.

  “I'm good thanks.” I say, stepping away from his touch. Even outside in the extreme cold, his touch has a way of warming me and that's not a good thing. At least not for me. “I live just a couple of blocks from here.” I say. “I walked.”

  “Well then, let me walk you home.” He says, his smile pulling up one side of his mouth.

  “I'm good... Really. It's not far.” I interject.

  “Lo. Let me walk you home. I will make no pass at you. You have my word. I just want to make sure you get home safe.” He says, his smile spreading.

  “Fine.” I sigh, not able to contain my own smile when his eyes light up in victory. Damn wine. It makes me weak and much more susceptible to his charms. At this rate, he will have me naked before we make it past the first block. Here's hoping I can hold it together.

  Chapter Nine

  Dax

  The walk to Lo's apartment is a silent one and over much too quickly. She is the first woman that I have actually enjoyed being around without the possibility of sex afterward. She made her rules clear and I intend to respect those rules, no matter how much I don't want to.

  “Well, this is me.” She stops at the front entrance of a ten story brick apartment building and turns to face me.

  “You're kidding me right?” I laugh, shaking my head at the irony of the situation.

  “What?” She seems immediately offended. “I realize it's not a mansion but these are really nice apartments. Trust me, I pay the ridiculous rent.”

  “It's not that.” I laugh again. “I actually just signed a lease two days ago on an apartment.... In this building.” I can't help but chuckle at the way her eyes widen at my words.

  “You're kidding?” She chokes.

  “Nope.” I shake my head, not able to break the smile pulling up the corners of my mouth. Fate is playing a very funny game. Though I must admit, the idea of living in the same building as Lo excites me a little too much.

  “Well, okay then.” She takes a deep breath and lets it out, clearly not sure what else to say. “When do you move in?”

  “Monday.”

  “So I guess we will be co-workers and neighbors then.” She lets out a nervous laugh and looks towards the ground.

  “Lo.” I say gently, placing my hand under her chin and lifting her face up to meet mine. “This doesn't need to be a thing. We knew the stipulations. It's done. I don't see why we can't find a way to be friends.” I say, cringing slightly at the relief that floods her face.

  I should want her to be relieved..... So why am I suddenly wishing I had not even suggested the friends thing? Truth is, I haven't gotten my fill of her yet. But again, she made where she stands very clear. And I am not a man to push myself at a woman or chase after one for that matter.

  “I would like that.” She says, a beautiful smile stretching across her face. “Well, I should get up there.” She gestures to
the building behind her. “Thank you for walking me home. I guess I will see you at the club tomorrow?”

  “I will see you then.” I say, not able to resist the urge to lean forward a lay a light kiss to her cheek. I catch the scent of her sweet skin and a hint of wine on her breath. The combination is intoxicating and it takes everything I have not to move in for more. But I can feel her body stiffen at the contact and I pull away, not wanting to make her uneasy.

  “See you then.” She takes a step back and then turns, disappearing inside without another word.

  I stand on the sidewalk looking at the front of the building for what feels like forever, wondering what she would do if I followed her inside. If I caught up to her in the hallway and pushed her against the wall and lifted that tight little black dress of hers and showed her how sweet it can be a second time around.

  Fuck me, I am in some serious trouble.

  Chapter Ten

  Lo

  I take the stairs two at a time, not wanting to stand in the lobby of my apartment building and wait for the elevator. With the wine flowing through my bloodstream and Dax's smell still lingering in my nose, there is no telling what I might do if I give myself a chance to consider it.

  Living on the fifth floor, it's not ideal to take the stairs but even in my intoxicated state, I manage to make it all the way to my front door without stumbling even once. Of course, that doesn't mean that I am not a sweaty mess by the time I push my way inside my small one bedroom apartment.

  The moment I catch sight of someone sitting on my couch, I jump and scream at the same time, completely startled. “Lilly!” I exclaim, the moment I realize that it's my twin sister. “What the hell are you doing here?” I ask, smiling when she jumps off of the brown wrap around couch, that takes up most of my living room, and crosses the space towards me.