Just a Memory

by Lois Carroll

  “I love hearing you talk about it.”

  “I can see I’m gonna have to set you down and do some serious talking about what’s out there in the real world–career-wise, I mean.”

  “That would be great.” She looked down at her desk and sighed. “I’ve dreamed of getting another job so I can get out of this town.”

  “I don’t see how anyone would want to stay here. Say, any messages I should leave for Mac?” Hines asked as he cleared his desk.

  “Ah…I’m still waiting to hear back from White Properties with information about the owner of the building that was broken into. And Mavis Ashton over at county records is supposed to get back with me on any recent White Properties transactions. But she does things in her own time and she hasn’t called yet.”

  Hines rose and shoved his chair under his desk. “Maybe what this Mavis person needs for inspiration is a good-looking cop to go ask her very sweetly to cooperate.” He puffed out his chest dramatically and strutted to Ellie’s chair.

  She repressed a smile as she switched off her desk light. “I don’t think the Chief should have to do that, Hines. But maybe Mavis would tell you anyway if you went.”

  “You’re bad, girl!” he announced with a broad grin at the put-down. “Mm, mm, bad!” He crossed his arms over his broad chest and leaned the side of his hip against her desk. “And to think I was just going to ask you out for a gourmet fast-food dinner and tell you all about life in the big city.”

  “Gourmet fast-food? Isn’t that an oxymoron?”

  As she routinely did before leaving every day, Ellie reached to switch the local calls to the County Sheriff’s department; they would answer from six o’clock each evening until eight in the morning and all day on Sunday. Before she could complete the link, the switchboard lit up and she answered the phone in her normal way.

  “Oh, hi, Mavis. Wait…what’s wrong?” she asked after listening longer. She reached for a pen and pad of paper. “Yes, I know the corner. You don’t know the kind of sedan or the color?”

  Hines looked at her with a raised brow, silently asking if the call was about a problem that would require action. She shook her head.

  Dropping the pen after making a few notations, Ellie shrugged into her coat that Hines handed her before she managed to get in the next word with Mavis. “Sure. I’ll tell him. Good night.” She hung up the receiver and shook her head.

  “And what did her majesty want?” Hines asked with a dramatic wave of his arm toward the phone.

  She looked at Hines and wondered if he would understand. “You’ve gotta understand life in a small town. You see, Mavis is a worrier. She lives in one of those second-floor apartments over the stores downtown. Watching the people of Lakehaven out her window means as much to her as watching television does to others. She called to say a strange sedan was parked at the corner on Lake Street all Sunday night with someone sitting in it.”

  “Is sitting in a car parked on a street against the law in Lakehaven?”

  “Well, no, it’s just that the sedan was there when she went to bed last night, Sunday, and it was still there when she looked this morning before leaving for work.”

  “She couldn’t tell you anything else about it?”

  Ellie shook her head. “It was dark and raining and she said cars all look alike to her.”

  Hines chuckled. “Probably a package in the seat or a shadow, and she thought it was a person. Who would sit in a vehicle all night in this town? In November?”

  Ellie shrugged and logged the call into the book.

  “Did she give you the info on White Properties?”

  “Oh, heavens, I forgot to ask her!”

  “Couldn’t get a word in edgewise, more like,” Hines said with a grin. “Never mind. This day’s work is done. We’ll worry about it tomorrow.

  “You ready to go for that gourmet fast-food dinner?”

  Hines draped the plastic garment bag containing his damp uniform over his shoulder. “Damn, I hate the thought of putting this uniform back on tomorrow. They couldn’t pay me enough to take a permanent job that required it.”

  Ellie frowned and ducked her head to hide her disappointment. That was Hines’s second remark about not staying in Lakehaven. “The former Chief felt uniforms command respect. Besides, our force is too small to have plain-clothes officers. And uniforms sure beat buying a lot of clothes for a job.”

  “Yeah? Well, from a man’s point of view, the only good thing about a uniform is that women dig it.”

  “Come again?”

  “Women think men look sexy in a uniform. Didn’t you know that?”

  “You’re kidding, right?” Ellie asked, trying to keep a straight face, but she ended up laughing as she tried again to transfer the incoming calls over to County.

  “Come on, girl,” Hines urged. “Punch that magic button to shut that phone off! I can smell the crust rising and the cheese melting.”

  Ellie responded with a mock salute and a crisp “Yes, sir!” as she switched the calls. “I wish the Lakehaven Council would keep this station open twenty-four hours a day, but they can’t afford to.”

  “You don’t need that much protection around here,” Hines offered with a shrug. “The breakin over the weekend is the first crime that’s happened in the weeks I’ve been here. Just traffic violations and one car accident. There wasn’t even any Halloween vandalism to speak of.”

  “Nothing bad ever happens here,” Ellie said easily as they headed for the exit.

  Ellie locked the glass doors from the outside. She agreed to meet Hines at the town’s one and only pizza parlor and they each headed for their own car. As she drove, Ellie thought about how different her job was now. Talking to Hines gave her hope. She’d worked long and hard to get where she was, and until recently it had been like beating her head against a brick wall.

  Ellie thought of herself as a good cop and had dreams of moving up in law enforcement. It was great to spend time with Hines because he didn’t think her aspirations were crazy for a woman. At first she thought the fact she and Hines were both members of minorities made their friendship more supportive, but now she didn’t think that was the reason at all.

  Could it be that they simply connected on a more basic level? As she drove to meet him, she certainly hoped so.

  Mac headed back toward Lakehaven. Looking at houses with Sandi had been a big waste of time, but he just hated to give up. The more he saw of the lake, the more he wanted a place he could return to for years to come, his own private getaway. Now all he had to do was find the right spot, he thought as he gained entry into the locked police station.

  A message on his desk from Hines told him he’d be eating alone tonight. Mac eyed the map of Lakehaven, trying to decide what kind of food he would pick up. He had no interest in going back to the apartment he shared with Hines and cooking something.

  His gaze fell on the stickpin marking the site of the breakin at the costume shop. He wondered what Carolyn Blake was doing for dinner, or if she was skipping it and still working. He smiled as his decision became clear. He would drive by and see. It was practically next door to Lakehaven’s one and only pizza parlor.

  Good public relations, too, he rationalized.

  As Mac’s car pulled into traffic heading for Lake Street, a gray sedan that had been idling across the street followed in the same direction several car lengths behind him.

  The driver, known to his seedy friends as Harry, knew he’d have to be careful because Mac was well practiced in the best ways to tail another car. He was certain Mac could spot a tail without much effort.

  But would Mac watch to see if he were being tailed here in sleepy Lakehaven? Harry was betting he would not. In fact, he’d learned it was a pretty safe bet in the weeks that had passed since following Mac here from Albany.

  Despite the comforting classical music playing, Carolyn felt uneasy, as if someone were watching her. A chill settled over her as she straightened from stocking the showcase shelves. H
earing nothing out of the ordinary, she walked over to check that the front door was locked. She was already confident the new sturdy rear door was securely locked. The glass panel was deadbolted so there was no reason not to feel safe.

  She looked out at the sparse traffic and saw a Mama’s Pizza delivery car drive by. Her stomach growled in response. Fruit for lunch and no dinner yet left her feeling hungry. The thought of picking up Terri and getting home for dinner strengthened her resolve to finish the cleaning up quickly.

  She turned back to her work and soon finished filling the showcase. Lifting the tall stack of small boxes she’d just emptied, she headed for the storeroom to flatten and recycle them. As she passed the glass entrance door, a man suddenly stepped up to the door and knocked.

  Carolyn, frightened for the third time that day, cried out. The stack of boxes flew in all directions.

  “Mrs. Blake, Carolyn, it’s me. Mac Macdonald from the Lakehaven Police.”

  Carolyn dragged a deep calming breath into her lungs. Her hand pressed her chest as if she could manually slow the racing beat of her heart. Seeing Mac, tall and good-looking outside the door, gave her the feeling that being startled wasn’t the only reason for the rapid rhythm. She picked her way between the scattered boxes on the floor and unlocked the shop door, leaving the keys dangling.

  “I’ve done it again, haven’t I?” He had the courtesy to look apologetic. Careful not to tip the pizza box he carried, he stepped in and closed the door behind himself, automatically locking it and handing the key ring to her. “You must believe me. I don’t normally affect women this way.”

  “No, I’ll bet you don’t.” A man that attractive must normally have quite a different effect than fright, she concluded. “However, you’ve got to stop scaring me.”

  Smiling away his concerned frown, Mac squeezed her upper arm gently. “I’m really sorry. I saw your car and figured you were still working.” He dropped his hand to the cardboard box he held. “Anyway, I thought you might like some pizza. You didn’t stop for dinner, did you?” It was more a statement than a question, as if he knew she hadn’t stopped to eat.

  Carolyn shook her head to confirm his suspicions as she stepped back. His hand on her arm had felt warm and comforting and she didn’t want to get to liking the feeling. “No, but bringing me pizza is way above and beyond the call of duty, Chief Macdonald.”

  Feeling self-conscious, she began picking up the boxes strewn about to hide her flushed face. He had to know from the police report that she was thirty-four. If pink cheeks at her age didn’t let him know she wasn’t used to men paying attention to her, then nothing would.

  Aware he was looking for a place to put down the pizza so he could help her, she quickly grabbed the last boxes so he had nothing to do but watch. He broke the awkward silence before she had the chance to. “You do like pizza?”

  “Oh, yes. As a matter a fact, I had a taste for pizza tonight. That smells good, too.”

  Her smile seemed to be all the encouragement Mac needed. “Good. Where can we eat? We should get to it before it gets any colder.”

  She looked up at the big man and their eyes locked for a moment before she broke the contact and led the way across the showroom. “My office…we can eat in my office.”

  Carolyn cleared off her desk and placed a folded newspaper down to catch the grease under the pizza box. “I’ve got some caffeine-free cola,” she offered. “Nothing stronger. Sorry, no beer. I can’t stand the bitter taste.”

  Mac chuckled. “Whatever you have would be great. I didn’t think of bringing drinks.”

  Being careful not to touch him, she passed him to go to the dorm-sized refrigerator on the other side of her desk. The office was so small, not much bigger than a walk-in closet, that she felt awkward.

  He must have noticed. “Look, if you’d rather not eat the pizza, it’s okay. Maybe I should just help you finish picking up so you can get home at a decent hour.”

  “No, I would like the pizza.” She laughed nervously. “I…well, I’m just surprised you brought it, that’s all. I’m not used to having anyone…I mean, of course I have friends in this town, but they wouldn’t…”

  Exasperated, she ran both hands through her hair and then plopped her hands back on her hips. “Thanks, Mac. It was very nice of you.”

  “I didn’t do it just to be nice. I was hoping we could be friends, Carolyn,” he said softly. “I haven’t made any friends yet in Lakehaven.” He held his hand out to her.

  He’d hesitated just slightly before the word ‘friends’. She looked at his outstretched hand and fought the direction her mind suddenly took when another kind of relationship, besides friendship, popped into her thoughts. For a moment she thought of him only as a desirable man, and of herself as a woman who had been without a man in her life for a very long time. A startling warmth filled her and made her acutely aware of her femininity. She was startled by this stranger’s ability to rouse such long-dormant feelings in her.

  Continuing to think along those lines wasn’t good. Having loved Richard and lost him, she’d vowed never to let her feelings for any man get that strong again. Especially not a man, who put his life on the line every day in his job as a cop, and who was in town only temporarily. She wouldn’t set herself up again for the pain and loss that would be inevitable when he left.

  Besides, dating someone like Mac would only increase the frequency of her daughter’s broad hints that it was high time she had a daddy. Carolyn would never get the child’s hopes up only to have them dashed.

  Trying to remember that being friends was the only way to be, she placed her hand in Mac’s and smiled tentatively. “I’d like another friend.” She emphasized the word ‘friend’ just a little.

  Mac grinned and they shook on it. “Good, then let’s eat. I’m starved.”

  “Me too.”

  Mac removed his trench coat and uniform jacket together in one movement. His tie hung from a loosened knot and his top shirt button was undone. He turned back from hanging his coat on the corner of the open door to catch Carolyn watching him.

  She looked away to reach for the paper towels to use in lieu of plates and napkins. Amazed that she’d actually enjoyed watching his muscles move under his fitted shirt, she felt a warm glow deep down where she hadn’t felt one in a long time.

  With an old-fashioned politeness she appreciated, he waited to sit while she took off the holiday smock. “I only wear this old thing when I clean the store,” she explained self-consciously. She was tempted to put on her pants-suit jacket, hanging behind her chair, but decided not to. Apparently it felt as warm in the office to him as it did to her.

  She sat at the opposite corner of the small desk from him and they ate, not inhibited by the cramped quarters, or the fact the pizza was hardly warm anymore.

  As he ate Mac stretched his long legs out beyond the end of the desk. The movement caught her attention. When she looked up from his legs, he was gazing at her. Unable to remember a time when she felt so self-conscious, she quickly looked down and reached for an extra paper towel. She kept her legs primly folded and her feet tucked under her chair. She hoped he didn’t guess she was trying to hide the fact that she felt her legs trembling.

  “Good pizza,” she mumbled.

  “Mm-hmm,” he agreed.

  Despite a rough start, the conversation gradually grew comfortable and time passed easily. They talked mostly about Lakehaven, Carolyn answering Mac’s questions about the area. She found herself disappointed that he didn’t volunteer much about himself personally, and decided to keep the conversation impersonal by not offering any information about herself or Terri. She asked some general questions about where he worked before when they discussed the Lakehaven police department, but she didn’t want to pry further.

  The pizza disappeared in short order.

  “Now what can I do to help you get done here?” Mac asked, scoring with his wadded-up paper towel thrown at the wastebasket in the corner.

 
“You don’t have to do any more, Mac. You’ve done so much just by bringing me food. I didn’t realize how hungry I was until I started eating. I hope I left enough for you.” She set the desk calendar back in place after clearing away the pizza box.

  “I’m fine, but I mean it. What else can I do to help you get ready to open for business tomorrow?” He stepped into the hall and she followed.

  “Mac, I can’t ask you to stay and help.”

  Walking through to the showroom ahead of her, he whirled back toward her and stopped abruptly. Not able to stop as quickly with no warning, she walked right into his chest. He held her shoulders to steady her, and then kept his hold to prevent her from stepping back. Her gaze flew up to see he was smiling down at her.

  “You don’t have to ask, Carolyn. I volunteered. I want to help you. Just me. Mac. Not the cop. Not the Acting Chief of Police. Just me, your new friend.”

  Carolyn held his gaze and swallowed past the lump that had settled in her throat. “Thank you,” she managed.

  He smiled and they continued on into the showroom to put the last of the displays back in order. She turned the tape deck back on to play quietly while they worked and discovered they had similar taste in classical music.

  “We’ll have to go to Syracuse for the symphony concerts,” Mac announced casually. “They’re really good. I haven’t heard them often, but I’ve never been disappointed.”

  Carolyn didn’t know what to say. He’d probably just made the offer in passing and wouldn’t remember when the concert dates neared, but the possibility of attending was wonderful. She loved going, but it was such a long drive. She’d never chanced going alone, and it was not often she could find anyone interested in driving up with her.

  The thought of going with Mac….

  “There. That’s the last of the boxes for the display,” he said, breaking into her thoughts.

  “Thanks for all your help, Mac. That didn’t take long at all with two more hands working. I would have been here another hour at least. Now I can open tomorrow without having to skip the Lakehaven Merchants Association meeting in the morning in order to finish. I really appreciate your help. In fact, you’ve made yourself so handy around here, there’s one more favor I’d like to ask.”