Just a Memory

by Lois Carroll

  By this time Carolyn felt very warm and totally regretted ever having come. She wet her lips and tried to speak. She got her mouth open, but no sound came out. She tried swallowing again. Needing to regain her composure, she kept her eyes on her purse, but her eyes wandered to the well-muscled dark-blue-clad leg just inches away from fingers tingling to touch it, to feel its hardness–

  “There. That better?” he asked as he slapped his hand down on the thigh she’d been examining.

  Her gaze flew to his smiling face. He seemed to be enjoying himself at her expense. He knew…he had to know everything he did only flustered her more. “No. Yes. Oh, I don’t know. Mac, please!”

  “Ahh. You’ve said the magic word.” Mac smiled and set his cup down on the desk behind him.

  “Magic word?” She plopped her purse on the edge of the desk and leaned forward, holding the arms of the chair. “What word? Please?” she asked incredulously. “You were waiting for me to say please?” Her anger rose and with it her confidence.

  Mac leaned toward her, propping his hands next to hers on the chair armrests. He was very close. “No, Carolyn,” he said softly. “I was waiting for you to call me Mac. I thought we were friends.”

  Abruptly he sat up straight again and continued in a businesslike voice. “Now, what did you want to see me about that couldn’t wait until dinner tomorrow?”

  The nerve of the man! “I don’t want–” she began, only to be interrupted for the umpteenth time.

  “Don’t want to go out to dinner? Was eating pizza with me that terrible?”

  Enough was enough. “That does it!” She shot to her feet to face him on a more even level and spoke with determination, all the while trying to ignore how close they were to each other. She had trouble tamping down the tingly sensations when the front of her thigh brushed against his knee. The contact short-circuited half her senses.

  Glowering at him, she moved away from his leg. “Will you let me get a word in edgewise here? I came over here on behalf of the Merchants Association to ask you if you could speak to our members at the monthly dinner meeting next Thursday. They want you to talk about what they can do to protect their stores and offices from breakins like the one I had.” She spoke fast to get it all in before Mac interrupted her again but had to stop to take a big breath. It was a long enough pause for Mac to break in.

  “Do you want me?” Mac said softly as he stood slowly and looked down at her, just inches away. She saw him gaze at her breasts, straining against her blouse with each rapid breath. She closed her eyes when she felt the nipples harden and press more firmly against the fabric.

  Someone answered in a whisper, “Yes, I want you.” Carolyn opened her eyes, realizing instantly she had spoken. What’s more, she knew the dinner speech was not at all what she had in mind.

  How had this…this magnificent man been able to affect her so deeply in such a short time? She tried to step away, but her calves came in contact with the chair immediately behind her. “I mean, it would be great if you could spare the time to speak to the group.”

  “Carolyn?” Mac waited for her to look back at him. He held her gaze and said, “If you want me, then I’m willing.”

  “Willing?” she squeaked.

  “The speech. I’ll talk to the merchants. Isn’t that what we’re talking about?” he asked with an innocent-looking smile.

  She nodded. It had to be relief that made her feel suddenly dizzy. She closed her eyes and swayed a little. Mac reached for her upper arms to steady her.

  Funny, this time he had to clear his throat, too, before he spoke. “That will be a good opportunity to meet them all, too.”

  “Meet them?”

  “The merchants of this town.”

  What was happening? She had come on business, but it wasn’t business filling her thoughts now. She was totally out of her realm of experience.

  Suddenly Terri and Ellie laughed loudly in the next room. The intense moment ended. Carolyn saw her only option to find safety was a quick exit away from Mac. She turned, pulling herself from his grasp, and reached for her purse. She made certain she was several safe steps away from the desk before turning back to him.

  “Thank you. You’ll be our guest for dinner, of course. It’s Thursday at the Lake Inn coffee shop at six. Most members come right from work. The meetings don’t last too long. I mean, you don’t have to make a long speech. About twenty minutes or so would be perfect. Is that all right?”

  “Yes, that’s fine.” He leaned over to his desk calendar and wrote it down. “There. Meet Carolyn at Lake Inn. I won’t forget.”

  “Good, then I won’t keep you any longer.” She turned toward the door, but before taking a single step she gasped and whirled around. “No! What if someone else reads that on your calendar? What would they think?” She strode to his desk. “You didn’t really write it that way on your calendar…did you?”

  He shook his head. His laugh was warm and she realized he was teasing her again. He held up the calendar so she could read it. That wasn’t what it said at all. It just mentioned the speech, time, and place.

  She smiled with relief, but she still wanted nothing more than to make a quick exit. “Thanks again. We’ll count on you for next Thursday.” She got out her car keys, but for some reason she couldn’t bring herself to leave. “Ah, I was wondering… At our merchants meeting this morning, we were talking about the breakin. Nothing of value was missing from my shop. Isn’t that weird?”

  “Vandalism. Willful or ignorant damaging or destroying of property belonging to another or to the public,” he said as if quoting from a book to clarify the term for her.

  “This was certainly willful. Why would anyone do that to my shop?”

  “We may not know that until we catch whoever did it. And that may not happen. Most of the time this kind of case is reported to the police only for insurance purposes. It’s no use taking fingerprints because there would be dozens from the customers. We couldn’t tell which ones were the vandal’s. No instrument was found that was used to break in the door. The perp didn’t…sorry, the perpetrator didn’t leave any calling card, nothing dropped by accident that could identify him. I say him because it took strength to smash the wooden door open. And he had to do it right the first time so no one would be alerted by the repeated pounding.”

  “It’s scary, knowing someone is out there who would want to hurt me that way.” She hugged herself. “And for no reason that I can think of.”

  “We’re working on finding him. Carolyn, I don’t see any reason to expect something like this would happen again.”

  “You don’t think there’s someone out there waiting to get me, huh?” She figured she was being silly thinking someone was watching her, but Mac’s smile was reassuring.

  “I’ve been in that position plenty of times. I don’t think that’s what this is. Just be careful and pay attention to strangers.”

  He rose to face her and put his hands at the sides of her waist. “Honest, you don’t need to worry about being at the shop now. As you told me, you’ve got the new door with the new lock to keep you safe.”

  “Right. Thanks.” She turned and stepped away, instantly missing the warmth of his hands. “Mac? Are you…are we still on for dinner? I felt like Terri was insisting we go out and I don’t want you to feel obligated.”

  “No, that’s fine,” he said easily. “Um, would Terri like to go with us?”

  “She’d probably love it, but I think she’ll be fine with a sitter. If you’re not used to kids, eating with one in a restaurant can be traumatic.”

  Mac nodded. “Then I’ll get a reservation for two for tomorrow night. That okay?”

  “Wednesday?”

  “Sure. Or don’t you eat dinner on Wednesdays?”

  She smiled. “Tomorrow would be nice.”

  “How about the place on the highway? I’ll call you with the time.”

  “Fine. Anything seven or later would work.”

  Having run out of
things to say, Carolyn wished him a good evening.

  “Carolyn,” he said to stop her at the door. “I really don’t think you have to worry. It’s probably just a fluke. Like you said, nothing like this ever happens in Lakehaven.”

  “Thanks,” she said with a smile.

  Carolyn stepped out of his office reassured about the vandalism, but thinking she probably shouldn’t have mentioned their dinner. He didn’t look too happy about it, but he’d said he wanted them to be friends.

  Maybe he thought she was taking advantage of that friendship already by asking him to speak at one of the programs. He probably hated public speaking. She would make certain she didn’t impose on him again. She renewed her determination not to get too personally involved; she wanted them to be friends, too, and that was all she wanted their relationship to be.

  It wouldn’t be wise to think about more with a man who would be in Lakehaven for only a matter of months.

  She wasn’t that kind of woman anyway. No matter how good-looking he was. Or how many times Terri hinted each week she wanted a dad. Or how few men of his caliber lived in Lakehaven. Or even how long it had been since she’d been on a real dinner date.

  Friends. Period.

  “Thanks, Ellie, for keeping an eye on Terri. I hope I haven’t made you late getting home.”

  “We had fun, didn’t we, Terri?” Ellie asked.

  “Yeah. I want to be a policeman when I grow up, Mommy.”

  Carolyn smiled and held Terri’s coat so she could pull it on quickly. The child saw Mac step into the doorway at his office. She ran right to him. “Hi, Mr. Macdonald. Is this where you work?”

  “Yes, it is,” he said with a smile. “I didn’t know you were here. Wanna see my office?”

  “Would I! I told the kids at school that I’d met the Chief of Police and nobody believed me. Wait until I tell them I’ve been in your office.”

  Mac stepped back while Terri walked into his office and looked around. “Wow. Can I sit in your chair?” He nodded and looked back as Carolyn walked up behind him.

  “Come on, Terri. Let’s not bother Mr. Macdonald. Time to get home for dinner.”

  “This chair is neat, Mom. How come you don’t have one like this in your office?”

  Carolyn laughed. “Because there isn’t room in my office for a chair that size, honey. Now come on. We’re keeping Mr. Macdonald from his appointment.”

  “I’m coming,” Terri said, obviously disappointed she had to leave.

  “Come see me again,” Mac told her as she went past.

  “Thanks,” Terri said, looking up at him with a big grin. “Mom, can I come here again? Huh? Can I?”

  “We’ll see, dear. We’ll see.”

  “Aw, Mom. That’s what you always say when the answer is no, but you don’t want to say it.”

  Carolyn heard Mac’s chuckle behind them. She pressed against Terri’s shoulders to hurry her across the room.

  Terri turned and waved goodbye to Mac and Ellie. “Thanks for the tour,” she called as Carolyn ushered her out the door. With a little wave from Carolyn, they left.

  Mac watched the gentle sway of Carolyn’s hips as she walked out of the station. Quit looking at her that way, damn it. You’ve no right.

  The fact remained that he’d been enjoying Carolyn’s visit, not only because of the fun he’d had teasing her until she relaxed, but because he now knew she was just as aware of him physically as he was of her. She looked so soft and feminine even in the tailored business suit with the skirt tucked above her knees, leaving her shapely calf exposed to his scrutiny.

  When she’d left his office, he’d been surprised to see Terri run across the room to her mother’s side. He hadn’t realized she’d come with Carolyn to the station. On top of that he was surprised how much he enjoyed talking with the kid.

  “I’m going now,” Ellie announced, reaching for her coat.

  “Oh, right. Good night,” Mac called as he returned to his desk.

  He sat in the chair where Terri had just been. She looked so much like Carolyn, the same blue eyes and blond hair, except Terri’s hair was even lighter. She was cute, and when she grew up she would be as beautiful as her mother.

  What would it be like to have a kid who looked just like him? Mac tried to picture such a child, but the child he pictured looked like Carolyn. “Damn it, Mac. There you go again,” he said aloud, as he rose with enough force to send his desk chair bouncing off the wall behind him. He snapped off his desk lamp. “Enough!”

  Grabbing his coat, he stayed only long enough to make two phone calls. First, to the special force director. Nothing new. The dealer against whom Mac had testified was awaiting sentencing. Mac told his boss he hadn’t remembered any more of what happened that night and reported that his shoulder was much better. Still a little stiff was all Mac would admit to. He didn’t want to add that his range of arm motion was still small. He was confident it would improve soon.

  The second call was to Sandi Houseman, the too-friendly realtor. He didn’t feel like looking at any properties tonight. It was already dark out.

  “I’m so glad you called,” she said when he reached her at home. “I tried at the station, but you had already switched the calls. I’ve got a lovely house to show you.” She steamrolled on, not letting him get in a word. “It’s not actually on the market yet, but I know the owners. It’s a recently built house right on the lake–just what you’re looking for. The people who built it are retired and they’d prefer to live in a warmer climate now. They’ve gone to Arizona to see how they like it there. They’re inclined to sell, but they’re not positive yet. I think you could rent now with an option to buy later, though.”

  “Sounds interesting. When can I see it?” Mac asked, feeling excited at last about the possibility of finding a place of his own on the lake.

  “I was going to show you tonight, but you’ll want to see this one by daylight. It gets dark so much earlier now. How about tomorrow morning? If you could get away at about eleven we could go see it, and then I… Well, I normally take my clients to lunch to talk about what we’ve seen.”

  Mac ran his hand through his hair. This woman didn’t give up and he knew very well what lunch might mean. But he could handle it. What the hell. It wasn’t as if women invited him to lunch all that often. “That would be fine, but I won’t have a lot of time,” he added to cover a quick exit in case he needed one.

  “I can drive us out and back. I’ll pick you up at eleven at the station.”

  “Well, okay. See you at eleven.”

  Mac mumbled under his breath, wishing he’d said he would drive himself as he headed for the apartment to see what he could dig up to eat for his dinner.

  A gray sedan pulled in behind Carolyn’s vehicle as she and Terri left the station. She noticed in the rearview mirror the driver was slouched behind the wheel, hidden under the brim of a baseball cap. He was still about half a block behind her when she pulled into her driveway at home. Carolyn saw the car go on by as she and Terri climbed out of the car in her garage. Despite not knowing who was driving, she waved in the friendly manner typical of her neighborhood. If he waved back, she didn’t see it.

  Carolyn locked the garage and went into the house after Terri, leaning on the door to shut it. She tried to think of supper instead of Mac while she washed her hands and pulled salad fixings from the refrigerator. She was chopping vegetables when the doorbell rang, making her heart do a flip-flop. An image flashed into her mind of Mac coming to apologize for his strange behavior this evening.

  “I’ll get it,” Terri called as she ran to open the door. Then, a moment later… “Mo-o-o-ther-r-r-r!”

  Carolyn hadn’t heard that tone of voice since Terri cut her hand in the yard and needed help desperately. She hurried into the hall to see who was at the door. The coldest black eyes she’d ever seen in her life looked back at her. Heavy black brows frowned over them. Black hair peeked out from under the cap shadowing his face and making his skin lo
ok pasty. She couldn’t help a shudder at his hard expression. The man beyond the storm door stared at them without blinking.

  Terri moved close to Carolyn’s side and wrapped her arms around her leg. Carolyn put her arm protectively around her daughter’s shoulder. “Yes, what is it?” she asked as she pulled the door much closer to being closed.

  This town rarely had salesmen go door to door, but this guy couldn’t be one anyway. With a sneer on his face like that, he would have to be selling condos in hell.

  “Sorry to bother ya, ma’am. I’m looking for, ah, Cramer Road. I saw your light. It’s hard to see them street signs in the dark. I was hopin’ ya could direct me.”

  While Carolyn met new people in the store all the time, especially in tourist season, she’d never had them affect her like this. On the other hand, they never looked like this man. “Go to the corner and turn left,” she said, pointing south. “Cramer is the little road that goes to the right just past the bushes that come down to the road. Just look for the bushes and turn right after them.”

  She watched the way his nose seemed to twitch as he listened. Kind of like a rabbit’s, but it looked anything but cute.

  “Thanks. Sorry to bother ya.” He looked down at Terri. “You got a cute kid there, lady. You wanna take real good care of her so she don’t get hurt.”

  Carolyn looked down at Terri, who tightened her grasp. She was clutching Carolyn so tightly her knuckles were white.

  “Thanks again, lady,” he said, making Carolyn look back at him. “You’ve been real helpful.”

  As soon as he stepped off the stoop, Carolyn shut the door and this time she locked it. That was one man she knew she wouldn’t ever like to see again.

  “Mom, he was spooky,” Terri said.

  “I’m sure he’s no one we have to be concerned about, honey. We’ll never see him again.” She gave Terri a reassuring hug. “How about setting the table?” Carolyn handed her the dishes and Terri took them to the table.

  Carolyn glanced out the window over the sink and watched his car pull away. Her neighbors across the street were putting away their gardening equipment in their open lit garage. She wondered why the man hadn’t just pulled into their driveway and asked them for directions instead of coming all the way up to her door. It gave her an uncomfortable feeling that was hard to dismiss.