How to Date a Dragon

by Ashlyn Chase

  Mother Nature paused, and he wondered if she was going to tell him to mind his own business, but to his surprise, she simply nodded. The two of them approached Zina together.

  The usually cocky dragon took a few steps backward as they came closer.

  “Not so confident now, are you?” Gaia said.

  “Only because I don’t know who you are.” Then she puffed herself up. “Not that it matters. There’s nothing you can do to me.”

  A sinister smile spread slowly across Gaia’s lips. “Oh, no?”

  “Nope. I’m immortal.”

  Mother Nature grinned. “I know. Which makes my punishment for you even richer.”

  “Punishment? Who are you to punish me? I don’t see a judge or jury anywhere.”

  Chuckling, Gaia strolled around her. “I’m neither judge nor jury… I am your mother—the mother of all, and you’ve been very naughty.”

  “Mother of all?” Suddenly Zina’s eyes grew wide. “Me remember now. Mother Nature?”

  “The one and only.”

  “Oh shit.”

  “Indeed.”

  Zina looked all around her, probably hoping for an escape route. She saw the bank of elevators and began to inch toward them.

  “It’s too late,” Gaia said. “I’ve already done most of what I plan to do to you.”

  “Most of… what are you talking about?” Zina asked.

  Vulcan couldn’t help echoing the question in his head too.

  Mother Nature held herself regally as she pronounced, “Zina, you have abused your gift of flight. You can no longer fly. You have abused your power of fire. You can no longer breathe fire.”

  Zina opened her mouth and huffed. Nothing came out. Not so much as a smoke curl.

  Gaia strolled around her. “And now I need to know why. Did all of this stem from trying to make someone love you and create the gift of life inside you?”

  “It started that way, but my cycle ended three days ago. Thanks to that harlot, I won’t get another chance for five years.”

  Mother Nature’s brows rose. “Excuse me? Did you say your cycle ended three days ago?”

  “Yes. What of it?”

  “Isn’t that when you set fire to the bar in which she and several other people worked? The building that was previously home to five people?”

  Zina held her head high. “I was upset. I don’t like being rejected.”

  “Nobody likes to be rejected… just like it’s not nice to fool Mother Nature. Believe me, I understand. But do I burn down every company that makes butter taste good with half the calories? Or smite every sixty-year-old who tries Botox? Hmmm… do I?

  “No.”

  “Of course not. Only spoiled children expect to get their own way all of the time. Which isn’t to say it’s not natural to want what you want… It’s just not okay to get revenge when things don’t go your way.”

  Zina crossed her arms and looked like she was pouting.

  Gaia paced back and forth, hands clasped behind her back, muttering, “What am I going to do with you?”

  At last she stopped in front of Zina and pointed at her. “Because you have abused your fertility, I’m taking that away from you until you can handle it.”

  “You can’t do that!” Zina screamed.

  “Yes, I can. In fact, I can do a little more. Have fun in Siberia.” Mother Nature waved her hand in a wide arc, and Zina disappeared from sight.

  ***

  Drake had finished putting out the dock fire and rested on the shore. Bliss was arguing with her family, but he didn’t know why. He figured he should probably stay out of the way… until he heard one of the male voices saying, “Hey, it happens all the time. Firemen like to play hero. He probably made us think he left when he ran off looking for a taxi, then his accomplice snuck back there and set the fire.”

  “Then he ran back to save the day,” said the other brother.

  “What are you, nuts?” Bliss was obviously getting agitated, but it was her family. She could handle them.

  “I don’t know, Blissy. It makes a certain kind of sense,” Mrs. Russo said.

  “No, it doesn’t! It doesn’t make any sense at all. Why would he make more work for himself?”

  “It’s not logical, Sis. I think there’s a name for that type of thing, but I don’t know what it is. Some kind of mental disorder.”

  “Are you saying he’s deranged? How dare you? He was in the station when most of those fires broke out, and then he risked his life to answer the calls. Don’t you think his buddies would notice if he was missing?”

  Uh-oh. Bliss’s voice is loud enough to alert the media—in New York.

  Drake rose and checked the area behind the arguing family. There stood the director and cameramen—with their little red lights indicating they were still filming.

  Shit. Now what?

  He strolled slowly toward the family. A noise like “pssst” from the corner of the house caught his attention. When he glanced over, he saw Vulcan in his white robe, waving him over.

  Oh, great. He looks like Father Time, and of all the imperfect timing… Drake altered his route, planning to ask Vulcan to change back into his street clothes. Then they’d need to come up with a reason for his presence so the family didn’t suspect Vulcan of being an accomplice. They had to figure out some way to fix this so Bliss didn’t have to defend them.

  Unfortunately, as soon as Drake rounded the corner, he disappeared into the brightest white light he’d ever seen, and a moment later he found himself standing under a clear bubble.

  “Oh, crap. Not again.”

  Gaia strolled over to him. “I took care of your problem, and this is the thanks I get?”

  Drake stared at the all-powerful woman who looked like an aging beauty queen. “You took care of… what problem?”

  “Your dragon, Zina. She won’t be bothering you or this city anymore.”

  Drake glanced at Vulcan. “Is this true?”

  Vulcan nodded. “I wish you could have been here to see it.”

  “Seriously, Vulcan?” Mother Nature cocked her head like she was talking to a foolish child. “If you want him to see what happened, just show him.”

  “If you don’t mind…” Vulcan seemed reluctant. “You don’t usually like us to show anyone your reactions.”

  “I’ll make an exception.”

  Vulcan gave a slight bow, and then with extended arm and index finger, he drew a circle in the air. Appearing in the circle were tiny exact replicas of himself, Mother Nature, and Zina. He snapped his fingers, and the picture came to life.

  Drake watched the whole interaction with alarming clarity. The whole thing really was my fault. If only I had told Zina up front I wasn’t interested, maybe I’d still have had a couple broken ribs, but none of this would have happened to Bliss.

  He brought his attention back to the movie playing in front of him. Mother Nature had punished the dragon for her crimes, and it sounded as if Zina wouldn’t be bothering him or Bliss again.

  The picture stopped with only Gaia and Vulcan in the frame. Then the vision and circle dissipated as if it had never been there.

  “You sent her to Siberia? And made her infertile?”

  Gaia crossed her arms. “Yes, and I took away her fire and flight. Why? Do you disapprove?”

  Drake let out a sigh of relief. “No. I approve wholeheartedly.”

  “Good. I like you, Drake. You’re not like some dragons who think they’re above the laws of nature. I’m giving you back your immortality.”

  He placed a hand over his heart. “Thank you. I couldn’t be more grateful, but…”

  Mother Nature raised her eyebrows. “But? There’s a but?”

  “I–I have a mortal girlfriend. Actually, I plan to make her my wife, and I can’t see going through eternity w
ithout her.”

  Gaia smiled. “Good to know. Because I actually have a favor to ask of you.”

  Uh-oh. It’s never good when a deity wants a favor. “What is it?”

  “Your girlfriend…” Mother Nature began.

  “Bliss? You want Bliss?”

  Gaia rolled her eyes. “Everyone wants bliss, stupid. I just want to know more about your girlfriend.”

  “Well, for starters, her name is Bliss.”

  Mother Nature burst out laughing. “Oops. Who’d have thought… well, never mind. What kind of person is she?”

  “Honest, loyal, she’s one of the bravest women I know. She’s been under incredible pressure and didn’t crumble once. She even saw my alternate form and didn’t faint or run.”

  “She saw you as a dragon?”

  “Yes. She didn’t believe me and I really needed her to. I wouldn’t have been able to warn her about Zina if she didn’t take me seriously. If something happened to her because I hadn’t warned her properly, I’d never forgive myself.”

  Mother Nature clasped her hands behind her back and started to pace again. “So, she doesn’t believe in things she hasn’t seen with her own eyes?”

  “I don’t know about that,” Vulcan interjected. “She seemed to accept my help without protesting my nonexistence.”

  Gaia narrowed her eyes at him. “Cute.” She pointed to a spot on the floor until a small sofa and armchair appeared.

  “Have a seat, Drake. I think your Bliss might be just the kind of woman I’m looking for.”

  Crap. Drake lowered himself onto the couch slowly. He sat on the edge in case he needed to jump up and run. Run where? That was a good question, and hopefully he wouldn’t need to answer it.

  “Relax, dragon. I’m not going to do anything to your human… that is, if she doesn’t want me to…”

  “Can we make this conversation a little less ambiguous?” Drake asked bravely. He didn’t want to upset the goddess, but she was upsetting the heck out of him.

  “Here’s the thing… I need a few new muses. The world’s population has grown and evolved over the centuries. Some of my current muses are complaining that they can’t handle all the challenges, especially when it comes to new technology. Your girl seems pretty savvy and modern. Isn’t she?”

  Drake nodded slowly. “She is.”

  “Do you think she’d make a good muse?”

  Drake couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Bliss… a muse? “That would make her immortal. Wouldn’t it?”

  “Yes. I know you didn’t want to go on alone after she died, but are you worried about being with the same woman for eternity?”

  “Not at all. I’d love to be with Bliss forever. She never fails to surprise me. I doubt very much I’d ever get bored.”

  “Good. Then I don’t see any reason not to make the offer. Do you?”

  Drake wished he had more time to think about it, but inevitably this would be Bliss’s decision, not his. “I can’t think of anything. She’ll tell you if she’s not up for it.”

  “Good. So now that we have that cleared up, go back to your nice, normal life, and I’ll contact her.”

  “You might want to wait a few days. She’s in the middle of a big competition right now, and her focus needs to be in one place.”

  “And you think me making her a minor goddess might be a distraction?”

  “Just a bit.”

  “Fine. I’ll wait. But not long.”

  Chapter 20

  Bliss nervously chewed on her fingernail, a nasty habit she thought she’d beaten, but the competition was bringing out the worst in everyone. Candy, one of the other finalists, was twirling her hair, and Dick, the third, was tapping the tabletop. If he didn’t stop it, Bliss was going to strangle him.

  “What’s taking so long?” the other female finalist asked in her soft, little girl voice.

  No wonder she designs inspirational cards.

  “I don’t know, Candy. Why don’t you go ask?” Dick had earned his name during the competition. Every reality show seems to have one.

  “Well, whatever happens”—Candy reached out to grasp the hands of the other finalists—“it’s been a privilege, y’all.”

  Dick yanked his hand away.

  She giggled. “Why, bless your heart. You must be more nervous than you look.”

  The door to the windowless room in the New York TV station opened, and Judith poked her head in.

  “Is everyone ready?”

  Candy clapped her hands rapidly. “Oh, goody! This is it.”

  Dick rolled his eyes. “Are you kidding? We’ve been ready for hours.”

  “Sorry. The judges wanted to meet your families.”

  Bliss leaped up. “Our families are here?”

  “Of course. It’s part of the show and the viewers love it. They want to see the winner’s family react with pride. Unfortunately, we had to tell a few of them how to do that.”

  Bliss pinched the bridge of her nose. “Probably mine. I didn’t invite them for a reason.”

  “Your family seems to be behaving themselves, Bliss. Don’t be too hard on them for speaking their minds. Families show their love and support in different ways. It’s obvious your parents are thrilled for you.”

  Bliss slapped the side of her head. “Oh, no. My boyfriend is coming and doesn’t know how angry they are with him. He’ll be walking into an ambush.”

  “They’re still angry that he disappeared? I thought it was obvious why he left.”

  Dick leaned forward. “This sounds interesting. What happened?”

  Bliss tried to wave the incident off like it was nothing. “Oh, they were just being their usual overly talkative selves and they accidentally insulted him.”

  “Really? What did they say?”

  She turned on Dick and spat out, “Nothing. Forget it!”

  He rubbed his hands together. “It doesn’t sound like nothing to me. Better get those cameras rolling, Judith.”

  “Shit. At this stage of the show, it’s not the kind of thing we want happening. Bliss, maybe you should come out here and explain…”

  “What is he doing here?” a male voice cried out.

  Oh, crap. Too late. Bliss rose and dashed from the room into the hallway, which was clogged with people.

  Some of them stepped back and cleared a path so she could see what was going on. Yup. Just as I thought.

  Drake stood still while her father poked him in the chest. “You’re not good enough for my daughter. If you want to be part of this family, you have to know how to stand and defend yourself.”

  Wow, that’s for sure. “Dad!” Bliss elbowed her way to her father. “Leave my boyfriend alone.”

  “But he ran away. One little insult and he was gone.” Romeo Russo was using his hands to talk in grand gestures destined to whack someone in the face.

  “I wasn’t insulted,” Drake said.

  Bliss reached him and whispered in his ear. “Yes, you were. It was the only way to explain your disappearance.”

  “I’ve got this, honey.” Drake put his arm around her shoulder and addressed her parents. “Mr. and Mrs. Russo. I’m sure you must know how unnerving it can be to meet your future bride’s family, and then when you think they dislike you for some reason—”

  “Bride?” Mrs. Russo’s hand covered her heart.

  “Now, wait just a—”

  Mrs. Russo’s other hand covered her husband’s mouth. “Blissy, did you know about this?”

  Bliss stared at Drake’s face, looking for a clue. He seemed perfectly calm and happy. Then he winked at her.

  What is he up to? “Uh, no, Mom, I didn’t.”

  “I wasn’t planning on doing this until after the winner’s announced, but maybe you should know that win or lose, I want you in my life, Bliss.” />
  The hallway fell silent and all eyes were on her. She tried to whisper in his ear so they wouldn’t be overheard. “Are you sure? Even with the amount of insanity in my family?”

  Drake chuckled. “I’m sure. And your family’s insanity isn’t that bad.”

  They smiled at each other until Mrs. Russo burst out with, “Say something, Bliss!”

  “Like what? I don’t think he proposed. He just said he wanted me in his life. I want him in mine too.”

  “Even if your father doesn’t approve?” Mr. Russo asked and crossed his arms over his big barrel chest.

  Bliss rolled her eyes. “Even if my father posted attack ads in the Boston Globe.” She palmed Drake’s cheek and kissed him.

  Mrs. Russo tried to put her arm around her husband’s considerable waist and laid her head on his shoulder. “I’d say that no matter what happens in a few minutes, Bliss won the biggest prize of all. Love.”

  Mr. Russo humphed. “There was a time when a girl had to have her father’s permission.”

  Bliss broke the lip-lock to give her father an annoyed glare. “Yeah, and there was a time when you’d have had to pay him in goats to take me.”

  Mr. Russo sighed. “Fine. How many goats would you like, Drake?”

  “No goats. Just your beautiful daughter.” He swept a stray lock of hair behind Bliss’s ear and kissed it. “Does that mean you approve?”

  “And start World War III with my wife if I don’t?”

  Romeo Russo extended his hand and Drake shook it.

  Just then, Judith reappeared and clapped her hands to get everyone’s attention. “It’s time to take your seats.”

  The double doors to the auditorium opened, and as people filed through, the hallway emptied. Drake dropped Bliss’s hand and said, “Lead the way, honey.”

  “I have to sit up on stage, but I’ll find you in the audience.”

  “I’ll sit with your folks.”

  Bliss chuckled. “You’re a glutton for punishment, aren’t you?”

  ***

  Five hours of film later, the three finalists all sat on the edge of their seats. The jumbotrons set up on either side of the stage were used to showcase their work for a large audience. The giant screens made something as small as a greeting card or as flexible as an animated, online card look great.