Winter Wolf (A New Dawn Novel Book 1)

by Rachel M Raithby

“You are selling straight away?” she asked in a small voice, feeling on the edge of a breakdown.

  “I’m sorry. There is no other way. Kat, I’m worried about leaving you behind.”

  “I’ll be fine!” she snapped, her fear of letting the past go clouding her judgment.

  “Kat! I know none of this is fair, and I know you’re not a child, but I still feel responsible for you, and I’m not sure your parents would have approved of you staying here alone with a boy.”

  It was all too much for Katalina. Her grandmother wanted to send Bass away. Bass, the one person keeping her from tumbling over the edge. “So this has nothing to do with me being upset my parents are dead!” she yelled, getting to her feet, trembling with anger. She wasn’t even sure what she was angry at anymore; everything had just come to a point where she couldn’t cope.

  “Katalina, you know that’s not what I meant.”

  She stood up, feeling overcome with rage. “I don’t care what you think. This is my house until you sell it and I’m not leaving, and neither is Bass. I need him here.” Katalina stormed out of the house, not bothering with a coat. She’d given up trying to pretend she was still an ordinary human. Everything was happening too fast. She needed to come to terms with their deaths. She needed the house to stay the same. She just needed one thing to stay the same, one thing to keep her in her old life.

  Pain rippled through her body. She panted through it, her head pounding with each ragged beat of her heart. Sweat broke out over her skin as pain rippled through her again. She dropped to her knees, tears streaming down her face.

  “Not now, not now! Go away, please… Please leave me alone…” she sobbed.

  “Kat?” Bass was in front of her, his hands lifting her upright. “You can’t change here, Kat. Come with me.”

  She pulled away. “No! I don’t want to! I don’t want this. Make it stop. Please, just make her go away.”

  She hated the pity that filled his eyes. She hated herself. Katalina wasn’t ready to accept her wolf. She already had so much to come to terms with. There wasn’t room for anything more.

  “Katalina, you cannot keep denying who you are.”

  Katalina bit her lip and closed her eyes. She was so close to changing. She forced it back with all that she had. Her knees gave out, but Bass never let her fall. When she finally controlled her wolf, she was gasping for breath, soaked with sweat. She slumped against Bass completely exhausted.

  “Will you still love me if I never change again?” she whispered.

  “I love every part of you, Katalina. Why don’t you?”

  Because it’s her fault. If she wasn’t a part of me, none of this would have ever happened.

  She couldn’t say the answer out loud, maybe because she knew once she’d voiced it, she’d have to admit it wasn’t her wolf’s fault, but she had to blame someone; she had to channel her anger somewhere.

  “Your grandmother is in your parents’ room. She seems pretty upset, Kat. I think you should talk to her.”

  “I don’t know what to say, Bass. It’s not her fault. I know. I’m just not ready for any of this.”

  He tipped her chin up. “Katalina, would you have ever been ready for this?”

  “Will you wait for me?” she asked, walking away from him into the house.

  “Always.” His soft voice wrapped around her like a shield. She could face this as long as she had him.

  Here goes nothing! Time to make things right. “Knock, Knock,” Katalina said, hoping to lighten the mood. Pushing the door open, she sucked in a ragged breath at the sight before her, trying to keep herself together. The room was full of boxes. The closet stood open, bare inside; her mother’s things had been packed away; jewelry, lotions, knickknacks, everything that made this room her parents’, gone.

  “I know it’s a shock. I’ve just been packing nonstop. I thought if I didn’t stop to really think about it, then it would never hit me.”

  Katalina smiled sadly, taking a seat on the end of the bed. “I’m sorry for before. I’m not sure how to cope with all of this, seeing everything of theirs, of my home being packed into boxes. How is it ever going to be okay?”

  Her grandmother sighed heavily. “It’s not, Kat. I could have left everything as it was for years and it still wouldn’t have been okay when I packed up their things. I don’t want to do this, Kat, but I have no choice. The longer the house isn’t sold, the less money you’ll have to go to college with.”

  “College…I can’t even think past today. How do I decide what I should be doing next year?”

  “Kat, you don’t have to decide anything now. Take a year off if you need to. Heaven knows you’ve been through hell. I’d be surprised if you figure out your next move any time soon, and that’s okay, Kat. It’s okay to feel lost and angry. Just don’t let it be all you feel. Grief is a strange thing and it affects everyone differently. Give yourself time.”

  Katalina nodded. She looked around the room, each box tearing another piece of her heart.

  “I’m going to trust you here with, Sebastian. I’m not sure where he fits in with all that’s happened, but I can see he cares for you, and he seems to be the only thing keeping you from breaking. Please be careful, Kat. I couldn’t bear to lose you, too.”

  “I will, don’t worry.” Katalina stood to leave; she’d had all she could take in her parents’ room, which wasn’t their room anymore.

  “Oh, Kat?”

  “Hmm?”

  “That box there by the door, it’s for you. I’ve put your mother’s most treasured things in there. Well, apart from you anyway,” she said with a smile. “She loved you more than anything. You know that, right?”

  “Yes.”

  Katalina deposited the box in her room, ready for the day she could open it. She found Bass outside where she’d left him. He turned at the sound of her approach. The smile he gifted her filled her with joy, and for just a second, she felt nothing but happiness.

  “Can we go for a walk?”

  “Sure.”

  Katalina threaded her arm through his waiting arm, leaning her head on his shoulder as they walked down the drive.

  A bark came from behind her.

  “Yes, you can come too.” She smiled at Arne as he bounded toward them.

  “You don’t have your coat on.” he observed.

  “I don’t feel the cold like I used to. I guess it was habit. Plus, I thought my gram may notice if I suddenly started leaving it.”

  “So why leave it today?”

  “I just didn’t think about it. It’s exhausting trying to remember how I used to be.”

  They walked in silence for a while. Katalina didn’t really take in her surroundings. She clung to Bass and let him guide her along, listening only to the sound of their feet sinking into the snow. Arne ran in front of them, jumping around, digging at the snow. He ran up to Katalina pressing his wet head against her legs. She patted his head laughing, “Silly dog.”

  Her laughter died, goose bumps broke out across her skin and she suppressed a shiver.

  Just as she was about to look behind her, Bass whispered, “Don’t look. They’ve been following for a while.”

  “Do you think they’ll attack?” she sighed, irritated.

  “Not in the open.”

  “Maybe we should start heading back?”

  “If you’d like.”

  They turned around, heading back down the road toward the house. “Come on, Arne,” Katalina called, slapping her hand on her thigh. Arne paused, looking at the few trees in the distance.

  “Here!” Bass growled.

  With a whine, Arne made his way over, his head down looking sorry for himself. “No sulking, boy. You know what happens when you mess with wolves.” Katalina ruffled his ears, cheering him up.

  “Do you think Jackson will eventually just give up?” she asked hopefully.

  “Sure, maybe.”

  Katalina glanced up at Bass. “If you’re going to lie, lie better.”
/>   He smiled down at her. “I’ll keep you safe.” He kissed her forehead.

  “I know,” she replied.

  *****

  Katalina’s grandmother left a few hours before dark, her car loaded with boxes. Standing on the front step watching her drive away, Bass came up behind her, his head resting on her shoulder as his arms wrapped around her waist.

  “I have you all to myself now. What wicked deed shall I do first?” He bit at her neck playfully.

  “Oh, so now you show your true colors.”

  “I’m the big bad wolf, remember?”

  “You’re the shadow wolf,” she smiled, turning her head to kiss his cheek.

  “What makes you say that?” he murmured against her neck as he kissed and nipped at the sensitive skin.

  Katalina shuddered, his onslaught of kisses turning her mind to mush.

  “Katalina?”

  “Hmm? Oh, yeah…because when you stand in the shadows, it’s as if they swallow you. You become a shadow yourself.”

  He turned her toward him, claiming her mouth with a demanding kiss. His hands made their way to her hips, branding her with his touch. Slowly, he guided her backward and into the house, never taking his mouth from hers.

  Katalina’s knees weakened when he touched and kissed her with such heat and possession. She was powerless to stop him and didn’t want to.

  “I think we should eat,” he whispered, his mouth working its way across her jaw.

  “Mmm…” was all Katalina could muster as a reply. She slipped her hands beneath his t-shirt, needing to feel skin.

  Bass pulled back, but Katalina held him tighter.

  He chuckled against her mouth as she reached up on her toes and covered his mouth once again. “Food, Kat,” he breathed into her mouth.

  Katalina pulled back, breathless. “We’ll get pizza delivered. Now, kiss me.”

  “Do they deliver this far out?”

  Katalina sighed, “Yes, but they charge. Menu is by the phone.”

  He kissed her once more. “Go find something to watch while I order.”

  “Okay,” she replied, reluctant to leave.

  They ate pizza and watched a movie, although not much of the second half was watched. Wrapped up in each other’s arms, it was hard to concentrate on a film when all Katalina wanted was to lose herself in the feel of Bass.

  Chapter 18

  Katalina woke with a start. The TV was on with the start menu of the film filling up the screen. She sat up on the sofa, pulling the blanket off her. “Bass?” she called, wondering where he was. Looking around the room, she spotted the half-eaten pizza. “Bass are you here?” She stood.

  She doubled over as a feeling of dread rolled through her. Katalina was running out the door, before his name left her lips. “Bass?”

  She skidded to a stop as she flew out the back door, the scene before her, too horrifying to take in. Two wolves lay dead at the bottom of the garden. Bass was unmoving while the remaining wolf tore at his flesh.

  One instant she was running toward Bass, screaming, the next she was a wolf. A savage cry left her before she sank her teeth into the wolf. They tumbled away, Katalina tearing at the wolf. The anger she’d been bottling up poured out of her. It was only when the wolf beneath her changed back to human that she stopped.

  “Please, Kat, stop,” the man before her gurgled as he choked on his blood.

  Katalina changed back to human, her naked body covered in the blood of Jackson’s enforcer.

  “Tell Jackson, if he ever sends someone after me again, I’ll tell the police he kidnapped me, and if you ever attack me or Bass again, I will kill you!” She spoke each word slowly, her teeth gritted, her body trembling with anger.

  Only when the enforcer nodded, did she go to Bass. He’d changed back into his human form; blood covered half his body.

  “Bass?” Katalina gasped, her anger washed away with bone chilling fear. “Oh, God, please be okay.”

  She hooked her arms under his armpits, lifting him up, dragging him toward her house. She might have been stronger now, but Bass was so much larger than her. She could only drag him. It seemed to take an eternity to get him inside the house. She dragged him into her bedroom, lifting him as gently as possible onto the bed.

  When she switched on the light, she saw the full extent of his injuries. His left side had been ripped to shreds, chunks of flesh missing. His shoulder was nothing but blood, his skin deathly pale. Katalina stumbled back, her hands covering her mouth as a strangled cry left her lips.

  “Oh, God…oh, God…ambulance…” Her fingers shaking, she scrambled for the phone. The trembling in her hands traveled down her body until she could barely stand.

  She picked up the phone and was about to dial the numbers when Bass’s fingers brushed lightly against her leg. “No…no ambulance.” His hand fell limp, fingers stained with a mixture of blood and dirt. She stared at his unmoving hand, her breaths rapid and broken. The phone fell from her grip, clattering to the floor. “Bass?” she whispered.

  But he didn’t answer her. The only sign he was still alive were the shallow rises of his chest. Her knees gave out and her body trembled as she struggled to breathe. Lifting her head, she looked at the pale face of the boy she loved, and dragged air into her lungs, forcing herself to calm down.

  “Get yourself together, Kat. He needs you,” she said to herself.

  Heaving a lungful of oxygen inside her, she found the strength to stand. Giving Bass one last glance, she raced out of the room. Katalina found the medical kit and filled the largest bowl she could find with warm water.

  Returning to her room, Bass hadn’t moved. On her cream bed spread, his body was outlined in vivid crimson. Spreading the contents of the medical kit over the floor, Katalina growled in frustration. There was nothing for severe wounds. Swearing, she ran back out of the room and to the laundry cupboard, grabbing the nearest sheet she saw. She returned and began to cut and tear the sheet into strips.

  As carefully as she could, Katalina used a dampened strip of sheet and cleaned his wounds as best as she could, soon turning the bowl of water scarlet. Once she’d finished, she stood back and observed him, her shadow wolf pale and broken.

  She felt numb. The scene before her couldn't be real. How could her strong, wild wolf be injured? He was an untamed force; always there ready to protect her.

  This is all my fault. She looked at the various strips of sheet tied tightly around his middle, his shoulder a patchwork of gauze dressings.

  I've broken him, all to hold onto an impossible dream, a life that can never be mine again. Please, be okay, Bass. Please hold on for me.

  Katalina slipped on Bass’s abandoned shirt, and picking up a blanket, she climbed in the bed beside him. She left the clutter and chaos for the morning. At that moment, she was emotionally and physically drained. Curled up next to him, as close as she could without touching, she watched the shallow rise and fall of his chest, each breath a sign he was with her, that he was still holding onto life.

  *****

  “Kat?”

  A brush against her side as light as a feather…

  “K-Kat?”

  Katalina gasped awake, shooting into a sitting position. Her eyes wide with fear, her heart desperate to leap from her chest.

  “Bass?” she whispered.

  His eyes flickered open, the smallest of smiles appearing on his lips.

  “Oh, thank God! I…I thought I was going to…lose you, too,” she sobbed.

  His fingers brushed lightly against hers. “Shifter, silly,” he whispered.

  “How do you feel? Can I get you anything?” she said in rapid fire, already out of bed and halfway to the door.

  “Water…” he rasped.

  Katalina ran from the room, filling a glass with water and retrieving a straw. She was back beside Bass within a minute, but when she returned, it was to find him asleep.

  “Bass? Bass, your water,” she spoke gently.

  He didn’t r
eply.

  Katalina placed the water on the bedside table and cleaned her room. She only hoped her grandmother would stay away two nights, because she had no idea how she’d explain Bass being in bed injured and the two dead wolves in the garden.

  Garden.

  She raced to the back door, peering out through the tiny window. Early morning light filled the garden making it seem blanketed in a grey haze, but even in the dim light, Katalina could see there were no longer wolf bodies littering the bottom of her garden. She doubled checked the locks before returning to Bass. By the time she’d cleared her bedroom floor of all the evidence from the night before, he’d woken again.

  “Thanks,” he whispered after she’d helped him take a drink.

  She smiled, putting the glass down, afraid if she opened her mouth to speak the tears inside her would come spilling out.

  “Kat, go get a shower. I’ll still be here when you get out,” he said, his voice clearer since drinking.

  She shook her head. “I’m fine.”

  “Baby, you’ve got blood on your face.”

  She lifted a trembling hand to her face. Glancing at Bass, she left the room as quickly as she could without actually breaking into a run.

  With the bathroom filling with steam, Katalina unbuttoned Bass’s shirt she’d thrown on last night, and dared a quick glance in the mirror. There were smudges of mud and blood across her forehead. Her hair was a matted mess and a glance at her feet confirmed she’d run outside with nothing but an old t-shirt on and jeans. Those clothes had gone now, destroyed as she’d changed into her wolf.

  The stream of hot water was a welcomed sensation. The tension and worry washed from her body, along with the mud and blood staining her skin. It took two lots of shampoo to wash the knots from her hair, but by the time she stepped out of the shower, she felt clean and new.

  “Shit…clothes,” she mumbled, looking at the dirty shirt discarded on the floor.

  Taking a deep breath, she stepped from the bathroom and padded quietly toward her bedroom. With any luck, Bass would be asleep and not notice her walking around in just a towel, but when her door opened, his eyes fluttered open, locking on her. Katalina knew she was being silly. He’d seen her naked a number of times, but this felt different. She’d just come from the shower. She didn’t have the confidence to just drop her towel and act as if she were brave.