by Mardi Ballou
So why wasn’t he moving?
Rafe ran his eyes over Lilith’s luscious body. Her clothes camouflaged her lovely body—sinfully hiding her sexy curvaceousness. Of course, not even the most tailored garments could disguise her feminine attributes, thank the powers of the universe. Lilith was one of those women who looked more tempting au naturel than clothed. And all her loveliness was on display for him and him alone.
Who could blame him for wanting to hang around?
Even as he feasted his eyes on her, Lilith drew away and started scrambling to gather her tossed clothes. Seeing her beautiful face now unsmiling, composed into a serious, professional expression, Rafe felt the room temperature, though not his own heat, drop several degrees.
She threw on her shirt and slacks, made adjustments to her makeup and ran her fingers through her wild tangle of hair. Then, before he could protest, she picked up a sheaf of papers and a pen. “The intake interview,” she said, her voice so tiny and soft, even with his super sensitive senses, he almost couldn’t hear. “I came here to conduct the intake interview.”
He leered at her. “I don’t believe that was on your mind when you were coming right here.” He patted the mattress next to where he lay and savored her blush in response.
She closed her eyes and appeared to be counting to ten, or maybe one hundred. Bloody hell, she was so stunning, especially now, when she was unaware of the effect she had on him. She appeared caught up in the work at hand, to conduct the ridiculous interview.
Her lashes fluttered as she looked down at the paper. “What are the three top qualities you value in a romantic companion?”
Was she serious? Did she really expect him to answer that question in such a cut and dried manner? Judging from the expression on her face, she did. He aimed to please. “Let’s see. I want my romantic companion, interesting choice of words there by the way, to be totally like Lilith, completely like Lilith and exactly like Lilith.” His lips curved up in a smile as he reached to touch her. She ducked out of his way.
“I don’t think you’re being at all serious about this matter.” She laid down her pen without having written a single word.
He went over to her, cupped her chin and raised her face so they were eye to eye. “You don’t? Hmmm. What do you base your opinion on?”
She rolled her eyes and wriggled free. “Rafe. Your pack has hired Fangly, My Dear to provide you with dates who are viable candidates to become your mate.” Her face melted in a wistful expression that wrenched his heart.
He bent very close to her. “Right now, Ms. Lilith Graves, from where I’m sitting, you’re the most viable candidate I’d want to spend quality time with. Part of that quality time includes not talking about or thinking about any other woman but you. Cripes, I thought women didn’t like having their dates divide their attentions and focus on others.”
Bloody hell, she looked so stricken, so sad, he wished he could take back his remarks. After he’d seen the naked pain in her eyes, she ducked her head and looked down. She’d better not cry. He could not stand it when women cried. He willed her not to cry.
Trying to resume the same light, bantering tone he’d used before, he continued, “But you’re insisting I should speculate about women I haven’t even met—and don’t want to.”
Head still down, she sighed. When she raised her head, he saw she’d teared up. Oh, shit. She’d ignored his telepathic request. Not tears. He could deal with screaming, yelling, jumping up and down—even full-fledged diva tantrums. But tears? He could handle anything except tears. If the tears filled her beautiful eyes and spilled down her cheeks, he’d feel like a complete bastard. He’d want to lick each one away. Gritting his teeth, he gently wiped the unwelcome moisture away with his thumb and then with a kiss. She drew back and shook her head.
“Don’t, Rafe. You’re only making it worse.”
“What? What am I making worse?” She was the one who seemed determined to short circuit the electricity between them and channel their energies elsewhere.
“I’m not even in the pool.” She sobbed the last word.
“What pool? Who’s talking about swimming? Hell, if that’s what you want, we can head to the ocean, skinny dip.”
She half-laughed, half-sobbed. “The pool of possible candidates to be your mate,” she ground out. “You know it and I know it. Aah, this was such a mistake.”
He didn’t like what she said, not one little bit. How could Lilith call anything about their being here like this tonight a mistake? They’d been so perfect together, without any of the usual awkwardness or tentativeness people felt their first time. “No, it wasn’t. Whatever else you believe, that’s not true.”
“Yes, it is.” In a graceful movement, she drew away. He reached for her, but she darted out of his range. “It was stupid of me to think I could conduct your intake, especially here, with the two of us alone. I should have known better, should have told Dominique to take charge of this one. The smart, ethical, professional thing to do when one feels personal involvement is to withdraw. Contrary to all wisdom and even simple common sense, I ignored this truth. Now I’ve made a fool of myself and made Fangly, My Dear look unprofessional. Your pack will want their money back and we’ll get a negative reputation in the area.”
“Whew,” Rafe said. “Hard on yourself, there, Lilith? As in, do you always take total responsibility for everything? If you do, I’d strongly suggest you stop. Even as my pack alpha, I realize I’m not responsible for everything that goes on.”
She actually wrung her hands. He took them in his to stop her.
“Rafe, I’ll admit I was attracted to you.”
“Glad to hear it. Attraction’s mutual.”
She sniffled. “I’m glad to hear that. But, you see, I should have realized this attraction might interfere with the completion of my assignment, my sole reason for coming here.”
“Baby, it takes two to tango. And to tangle the sheets.”
Another blush. He wanted to lick the hot redness from her high-boned cheeks and then lose himself in kissing her, but in her current mood, he figured she’d probably rebuff him and say words they’d both find regrettable. He could sense her fragility and realized he had to proceed with caution to keep from messing up even more.
“Since you’re the alpha of your pack, I am not a candidate to be your mate. We both know that.” Her voice sounded strained, as if each word she caused her pain. The longing in her eyes scraped at his soul. In that moment, he knew how much she longed to be a possible mate for him. His heart clenching, he could admit to himself that he longed for the same thing.
However, neither of them could ignore the truth. Lilith P. Graves was a ghoul. Even a demi-ghoul carried the full hereditary taint of that species. She was related on her father’s side to creatures who fed on the flesh of the dead, graveyard grovelers. Also shifters who’d become hyenas and used their obnoxious laugh to trick the unwary before killing them and feeding on them. Lovely Lilith had hinted that she reined in her own ghoulish potential by being a strict vegetarian. If she ever slipped and just sampled the meat his pack favored, she could morph into a hideous monster like her father’s relatives. So despite her spirit, her personality, her beauty and a hundred other desirable qualities, she was automatically excluded from consideration. Something about that reality was so fundamentally wrong, Rafe wanted to howl out his rejection of this injustice.
Though he could howl and protest until he was purple and blue in the face, the pack would never acknowledge Lilith as his mate. He had to have a mate to be an effective alpha for his pack—he’d come to accept that. And only he could guide his pack through the current turbulent times.
So, did the question come down to choosing between his pack and the chance to be with a woman who jolted him like a lightning strike to the heart? Why did he have to choose?
Lilith put the papers aside. “Tomorrow, I’ll have to tell Dominique I failed, that I wasn’t able to guide you through our intake interview. I’
m sure she’ll contact you to reschedule. And now, I should leave.” She heaved a huge sigh and began to weep, more quietly than before.
Distressed and unwilling to let her walk away, Rafe took her in his arms. “None of that’s important, baby. I don’t want you to leave.”
She held herself stiffly, resisting him for a moment, before she let herself melt against him. “Rafe, this is so wrong, but I can’t tear myself away from you. It’s like my legs have turned to rubber and refuse to support me.”
He ran an eager hand along her thigh. “Your legs feel wonderful to me, except for one problem.”
“A problem?” she echoed.
“Yes. You’re wearing too many clothes. It’s so much nicer when we can be skin to skin.”
She sighed again. “It’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever done, being here and then compounding it by staying. Rafe, I don’t want to go. I don’t want to go.”
He traced her fine features with his fingertips. “So we’re agreed on that. Stay with me, Lilith. I want you here. Nothing else matters.”
“Oh, you’re wrong there. Everything else matters. But Rafe, let’s make it special for us. Let’s agree. Tonight doesn’t count. I’ll stay here with you just for tonight. After that, we’ll both forget whatever’s happened between us.” She locked eyes with him and, at that moment, he’d have promised her the world.
“Lilith, I can never forget you. I’d never want to forget you.”
“You have to, Rafe. To be the alpha your pack requires, the alpha it’s your destiny to be, you have to find your mate and be with her alone. I won’t get in the way of that.”
Every word she said dug into his heart like a knife. With her, he felt all the complications and conflicts of being his pack’s alpha and of being a man. How much simpler if they could both assume wolf forms and freely live their animal natures. But Lilith, despite their soul affinity, wasn’t any part wolf. She was part ghoul. She could never be his mate for all the parts of his journey.
Though he wanted to resist, he had to agree with the wisdom of her insight. They would have to snatch whatever chance they could to be together. She could never be his officially.
***
Lilith hadn’t signed on for this. When she’d longed for an end to her current dry spell, she’d envisioned being caught up in a fling, maybe with some romantic fringe benefits, with a man she could share a no-strings good time with. Who needed the complication of this irresistible attraction to someone so wrong for her he might as well have come from another planet?
After tonight, Lilith knew she’d have to take a firm, irrevocable vow to avoid being alone with Rafe. After tonight. But she lacked the strength to leave him just yet, so she gave herself up to his caresses, to the hot passion of his touch. She wanted him and oh, goddess, he wanted her. If only that could be enough.
Rafe was right. Being naked with him felt right and as natural as breathing. How silly of her to try to form a barrier between them with her clothes. After all, it was a barrier neither of them wanted.
When she looked in his eyes, Lilith knew it would be easy to lose herself, just to drown in their dark depths. So easy.
His hands caressed the outlines of her face. Funny, it was new for her to regard herself as beautiful, as completely feminine, desirable and desired. She was living the romance Fangly, My Dear advertised to attract clients. She wanted this romance too, but she was the one client Fangly would never be able to service properly.
For right now, she could leave such sad thoughts behind. Her body celebrated being with Rafe. As if she were some latter day Sleeping Beauty, he awoke her with his sensuous touch. Only with him did she begin to understand that her whole body was an erogenous zone. This was true for her only with him—one of the many fantastic discoveries she made in his arms.
He tenderly kissed her closed eyelids, his touch light as a butterfly wing compared with the fierce strength of his embrace. As she lay, mesmerized, Lilith would have sworn he ran his tongue over every inch of her body, tasting, sampling, sniffing, marking her as his. Hyper-aware, she experienced every lick and nibble as if in slow motion. She visualized him scrawling his name all over her body in permanent ink, his claim bright for all to see.
His vibrant presence heated the bed and the air around them. Even if she’d wanted to try, she could not shield herself from the magnetism of his energy. Her response took root deep in her belly, in her pussy and in her heart. The warmth of her responding desire for him spread through her with the relentless determination of a conquering army.
“Lilith, you are so beautiful to me,” he murmured. “I could drink in the wonder of you day and night and never want anything else.”
She chuckled. “I think that wonder could wear thin when your appetite for solid food kicked in.”
“Not when I have you to feast on.” His fingers tweaked her nipple, followed quickly by his eager mouth.
Overwhelmed by sheer beauty and simplicity of their being together this way, Lilith stroked his head. They had to try to compress so much life and love into their short time together, her mind skittered over all the experiences they’d never have time to share. For no good reason, she suddenly grew playful and wanted to lighten the intensity between them. She cleared her throat. “Will you have fries with that?”
He started to laugh, which broke their physical connection. Eyes wide with surprise, he asked, “What? You say that with such authority. Did you once work in a burger joint?”
There was so much about each other that they’d never have enough time to talk about. “The fate of the liberal arts major? No, I actually never had to hustle burgers.”
“A pity, but only because you would look devastating in a grease-stained uniform. Of course, I’d immediately want to strip the uniform off you and—”
On that note, he slid down and buried his face in her hot, slick folds. She squealed with delight and her whole body reverberated with the erotic shock of the touch of his tongue on her sensitive, intimate places. Wanting to hold him to her forever, she ran her hands through his hair and pressed him to her there.
Chapter Four
He wanted to feast, to take his fill of her—but he could never have enough. Lilith’s sweet feminine musk surrounded him as he moved between her legs to pleasure her. He loved her exquisite responsiveness, the way she reacted to his moves.
His cock was already full, achingly erect. Too bad he couldn’t figure out a way to pleasure her with his tongue and his cock at the same time. Neither in man nor in wolf form could he perform such an act of magic which meant he had to devote himself to each sensuous delight in its turn. First the tongue, then soon, so soon after, he’d plunge his burgeoning dick deep inside her.
“Rafe.” Lilith practically sang out his name. Despite the many other times he’d made love or had sex with or just plain fucked other beautiful women, this was the first time he ever understood the meaning of the word intimacy. Only now could he begin to appreciate the very special bonds that unite a man and a woman in their own particular world. Only between her legs and in her heart, could he find a refuge of comfort and respite—the fulfillment of physical and emotional hungers.
He and Lilith were completely intimate. If he had to answer her silly intake interview, he’d list the possibility of intimacy as the most desirable quality in any relationship with a potential mate. Hell, the word intimate contained the word mate. He’d never realized that before, but the connection pleased him. He would need an intimacy at least as complete as what he felt with Lilith with any woman he’d consider taking as his mate for life. Anything less would dishonor them both and the institution.
“Oh, Rafe,” Lilith sighed, her breath like the flow of a sweet gentle breeze refreshing him. She maneuvered her lush, lovely hips so her clit slid between his lips and she gasped. “Mmm,” she groaned in extravagant response.
What turned him on more, the musk of her taste or her rich scent? Fortunately, he didn’t have to choose. With her, he could have it
all—only not for much longer. He needed, wanted to come deep inside her. He tingled with the anticipation of his release, but his lady’s pleasure must be first.
So, though he adored the richness of having his nose and lips pressed against her core, he needed to lead her to the climax she appeared to be very near. He swept his tongue across her clit and stroked her sweet, hot folds. With a hiss and a groan, she began to quiver and tightened her hold on him, quaking with the sheer raw power of the build-up to her orgasm. Then she whimpered his name, again and again—music to his ears as she expressed her need.
Stepping up the speed and intensity of his tongue thrusts, he almost missed the first tremors of her release. Vocal as she was at other times, Lilith now turned surprisingly subdued, as if she focused all her energy on the sheer physicality of coming. She announced herself with a series of sounds, soft and almost incoherent, a primitive language of desire sated. As her release grew in intensity, her heartbeat and blood flow increased, surrounding him with sensation.
She sighed and whispered, “Oh my God, thank you.”
He raised himself and buried his face into the warm spot where her shoulder joined her chest. He could happily lose himself in her musky scent. “You’re magnificent,” he growled.
She fluttered her lashes. “You’re pretty terrific yourself,” she whispered. And then he heard her sharp intake of breath. “Oh, God, I’m being so selfish. I can’t believe it. You must be on the verge of a case of blue balls.”
Despite his crushing need to be in her, he threw back his head and laughed. “Blue balls? Where’d you dig that up?”
