Something Borrowed

by Louisa George

  CHAPTER 20

  SENDER: Samsam1984@ymail.com

  Hi Chloe,

  Thanks for the estimate for your services. We were so excited having spoken to you, that we’ve already told our parents about our plans and want to press on and get married as soon as possible.

  We’ve heard such great things from Nate and Taylor, and we were so excited when your email came. Obviously, however, we’ve had to be sensible and have reached out for three quotes. We were really hoping yours would come in at a reasonable cost, and would have stretched ourselves just to have you organise our wedding. But unfortunately, your prices were so much more than the others. We’ve accepted a quote from Say I Do.

  We’re really sorry, but we needed something within our price range.

  Best wishes,

  Sam and Greer

  ‘What? No. What the hell?’ Something inside her shook loose as Chloe opened her documents and checked. Double checked. ‘Damn and bollocks and blast. Just effing brilliant.’

  She’d sent them a quote with an added zero.

  She never messed up. Ever. The only thing she had control over was her business, and now… another chance ruined. It was the icing on the cake to a perfect twenty-four hours of hell.

  No wonder they’d thought she was too expensive. She should have checked instead of blindly sending, but there had been too much running through her head. Blinking back tears, she rewrote the proposal, sent it with a huge apology for her oversight and asked—begged—them to reconsider.

  Of course, they wouldn’t. By sending the wrong estimate in the first place, she gave them the impression of unprofessionalism. If she couldn’t do basic maths, how could they rely on her to get other things right?

  Bloody men.

  Vaughn Bloody Brooks. At the thought of him, her heart felt as if a red-hot poker was piercing it.

  How was she going to tell Jenna about this? And how could she confess to her about the date she’d set up for her with Nick?

  Would things ever be right between her and her mum?

  How was she going to face Vaughn this morning?

  What about her heart?

  Climbing back into bed with a mug of tea and a slice of hot buttered toast, she contemplated pulling the duvet over her head and hiding from the world. Suddenly her life had got too complicated even for her.

  ‘You lost us a contract because you were HAVING SEX WITH THAT MAN?’ The bar was unusually crowded, so Jenna was shouting rather more loudly than Chloe felt comfortable. Especially as her private life was in the frame.

  She cringed. ‘The man, who is now out of my life. It wasn’t because I was having sex; it was because I’d decided not to have sex with him again. And do you think you could keep your voice down?’ Having told her sister all the details from last night, Chloe did feel a little better; a problem shared and all that. But the rawness of her heart was still there, and she felt on the edge of tears.

  Jenna put her hand over Chloe’s and squeezed. ‘You did the right thing by telling him, honey. I just wish you could have told me too.’

  ‘You had other things to think about.’

  ‘You’re my sister. I want to help you. How was he this morning at work?’

  Chloe was just about to answer, but the drinks arrived, complete with umbrellas and olives. They’d gone all out on the cheesy vibes of nineteen-seventies cliché. Cocktails, at happy hour, in a seedy bar just off Portobello Road. It was all they could afford; the music was too loud, and the people were less than desirable; therefore, it was a perfect place to get drunk and forget. Or get drunk, at least.

  And set up a date for a sister who didn’t want to date.

  Where were they? Oh, yes. Chloe’s broken heart. ‘Vaughn’s in Paris. He flew out early this morning. Apparently, he has urgent work there, so Jacques, his sous chef, tells me. Although, seeing as I do a lot of the admin and take most of the calls, the problem wasn’t something I was aware of. Very convenient, don’t you think, just to up and leave? He’s probably just running away from crazy Chloe, the woman who had successfully managed to do what she’d vowed not to do and then told him all about it.’ But she was glad she had. Living a lie wasn’t working for her.

  ‘He’s probably doing you both a favour by letting the dust settle a little. Maybe you should email him?’

  ‘He texted me, actually, this afternoon. Said we needed to talk. I told him I didn’t think he had anything more to add, and that I needed time to rethink.’

  ‘Finally, you do the right thing.’ Jenna sipped her drink and gave her a soft smile. ‘Yummy cocktails, eh?’

  ‘I guess.’ A little sour, some salt and enough alcohol to chase the tears away. For now. ‘I am so embarrassed. I’d hand my notice in, but I can’t afford to give up working for him; that money comes in very handy. We’ll just have to hope that next weekend’s wedding fayre brings in some decent clients. And, trust me on this, no man is going to distract me from my business. Ever again. I phoned Sam and Greer and explained about the added zero, and they said they’d rethink about working with me. They’ve signed a contract, though, so chances are they’ll stick with Say I Do.’

  ‘Well, it’s their loss. We’ll work it out. I’ll help.’ Stirring her drink with a bright pink glass stirrer, Jenna looked pensive. ‘You know, I’ve been thinking a lot recently. I need to start to build my life again. I can’t go on just existing like this.’

  ‘Oh? You’re doing fine.’

  Jenna shook her head, determinedly. ‘No, I’m not. I get that. I’ve been hiding, and I feel… less than I was. I had my confidence knocked, and I just couldn’t shake the grief for so long. I’d think I was doing okay, and then it would hit me out of the blue, in waves, knocking the breath out of me, hollowing me out. But those waves are less intense, and I’m not scared of them any more. I know they’ll always come, and I’ll never forget Ollie, ever, but I think I’m ready. You know, to start living again. My brain’s finally started to listen to all those affirmations I’ve been learning at counselling.’ She inhaled deeply and slowly let the breath out. ‘I’m ready to move on.’

  This was a huge deal for her sister. ‘Oh, Jenna, that’s amazing. I’ll help, anything.’

  ‘I know you will.’

  ‘So, what do you have in mind?’ Chloe breathed out heavily. This was what she’d been hoping for, for so long, but she knew there was no deadline for grief.

  Jenna’s eyes brightened, and she became animated, her hands moving as she spoke. ‘I’m going to open a florist’s shop. You know I told you about the empty place next to the pub? Well, when I was talking to Nick, he encouraged me to think about what I wanted to do with my life going forward. You need to keep taking steps, he said. And he’s so right. I need to do something for me and Evie. I need to show her what we can achieve. I don’t want her growing up with a mum who’s always on the verge of taking to her bed, like we had. We don’t need to perpetuate that, do we?’

  ‘A shop is a brave move, Jenna. It’s a lot to take on.’

  ‘I know. But it’s the right thing to do. I can do the wedding flowers and so much more, but this will be my business. Something for me to focus on. And it’s my turn to give something back to the family, Chloe. You’ve put your own life on hold for me. Now I need to stand on my own two feet and help you too.’

  ‘You are allowed to grieve, you know.’

  ‘And I still will, but not so much anymore. It’s time, I think. And thank you for everything. I couldn’t have got through it without you. You’ve been a rock. My rock.’

  Chloe gave her sister a hug. ‘We’ll get there, you’ll see. We’ll be unstoppable. Something Borrowed will rise from the ashes.’ There was a solid lump in Chloe’s chest. For so long she’d felt the pressure to fix everything, to make sure everyone was safe and cared for and not worried. Some of that pressure was being taken from her, and it was such a release. Jenna seemed to have it all worked out. She looked hopeful for the first time in years.

  ‘In the
meantime, you can work for Vaughn, and I can rent out that shop space, see how things go, but I might even try to find a place just for me and Evie to live in, too. Give mum some room.’

  There were baby steps and then there was a giant leap into financial problems. ‘One thing at a time, honey. Apartments are expensive, you know.’

  ‘I know, but we could stretch a bit, don’t you think?’

  Eurgh, tough love was hard. ‘No. We couldn’t, not right now. Things aren’t going well financially enough to support three homes. It’ll pick up, but we need to be stringent for a while.’

  ‘That bad?’

  ‘That bad.

  ‘Another thing you didn’t tell me.’

  ‘Because I didn’t want to worry you. I thought I had a handle on it, but… sometimes I feel like I’m sinking.’ At the very dulled shine of her sister’s face Chloe tried to make things better. ‘Hey, it won’t be forever, we’ll fix the finances somehow and then you can find a place, I promise. Besides, mum does love having you there.’

  ‘I used to think that, but I’m not so sure now. It’s not great for any of us. Evie and I share a room, and you know how tiny that is. We’re all cramped. I get the message, though. I’ll talk to her and see if she can pick up some more work from the dress shop, too. It’s not fair to you being the one with all the money worries.’

  ‘No. Don’t. I can sort it.’ Although the relief at just having said those words was palpable. Chloe felt as if she could breathe properly for the first time in ages.

  ‘We can sort it. We’re a team, right?’ Now there was a glint in Jenna’s eyes. ‘She needs to move on now that we’ve got this Dad thing out in the open. She has to let it all go. If she was ever thinking of dating someone, she can hardly do it with me and a three-year-old under her feet.’

  Chloe almost choked on her margarita. ‘What? Mum? Dating?’

  ‘It’s not beyond the realms of possibility. She’s still in her fifties. She still has a pulse and, I imagine, a libido, so why shouldn’t she?’

  ‘Urgh. I do not want to think about my mother’s libido, thank you.’ There was another round of drinks ordered and delivered in record time, which made Chloe feel an awful lot better. ‘You know, Mum actually needs some more friends. Those people she sees at the ghost hunting conventions are all well and good, but none of them live nearby. Maybe a man friend would be nice company.’

  Jenna smiled. ‘She admitted the other day that she got into the ghost hunting because she wanted to connect with Dad. It started as Ouija boards and developed from there. Now it’s more about scaring herself stupid and some strange fascination with haunted houses. But it all goes back to Dad in the end.’

  There were still so many questions Chloe had for her mum, but they needed to heal a little first. ‘After everything he did, why did she want to contact him?’

  ‘Closure, apparently. To tell him how we were doing, to talk to him about his two little girls.’ There was a look in Jenna’s eyes that made Chloe think that she sometimes spoke to Ollie, too. ‘She loves him even now, I reckon. Even after everything. But she really believes the Cassidy Curse means she’ll never find another husband.’

  Irritation rattled through Chloe. ‘What a load of bollocks. There is no such thing as the Cassidy Curse. Look at Ollie, he was a wonderful man. And Vaughn is too. We’ve both loved good men; that’s not a curse, it’s a blessing. We’ll do okay even if we never find a husband. It is the twenty-first century—women can do anything. Although sex is a bit difficult on our own, I admit, but not impossible. Just not as much fun…’ She raised her glass, her mind racing once again to those strawberries. ‘But we have so got to shake off our past. And I for one want to say goodbye to the stupid idea of the Cassidy Curse.’

  ‘Goodbye and good riddance.’ Jenna raised her glass, and they chinked. Then they sat in sisterly silence for a little while. Time was ticking along. Nearly seven thirty, which meant—‘You look deep in thought, Chlo. Penny for them?’

  Chloe shrugged and swirled the liquid around in her glass, playing for time. Because she had another secret that she wasn’t about to share with Jenna anytime soon but was about to appear through the pub door any minute now. ‘I was just thinking I wish we had a crystal ball to see how our lives are going to be in five years’ time.’

  There was a horrified look on Jenna’s face. ‘God, no. I’ll probably be ten stone heavier.’

  ‘And so what? There’ll just be more of you to love.’

  ‘There’s enough of me already. But that’s okay; I’m just a work in progress.’

  The same words Chloe had used with Vaughn. Once again, there was that familiar surge of pain. She missed him. Missed his kisses. Missed the way he made her laugh. Missed the sex, even though it had only happened a few times. Even though she hadn’t really known him for long, it had felt so right, as if he were her once in a lifetime. Obviously not.

  ‘Everything will be okay, sis. I promise.’ Chloe noticed the shadow at the door. Tall, broad. ‘Er… talking of which.’

  ‘Of what?’

  Matchmaking. ‘Of things being okay.’ Chloe cringed. It had seemed like a fabulous idea in the throes of post-sexual satisfaction. Now, not so much. It didn’t feel like matchmaking, more like interfering. ‘Er, I think Nick just walked in. Is that him? He’s coming over, that’s him, right?’

  The horrified look morphed into a deep blush and abject terror. ‘Oh, Chloe, please tell me you didn’t?’

  ‘I might have.’ Chloe hoped her sister would forgive her. She gave a little apologetic grimace. ‘Just a little text inviting him for a drink. Just as friends.’

  ‘Why the hell would you do that?’ Jenna stared across the room and raised a half-hearted wave to the pretty gorgeous man walking towards them. Her face was glowing, and no wonder. Nick walked with an easy confidence. He was tall, although not quite as tall as Vaughn. Will that man ever get the hell out of my head? Clearly Nick was very, very fit if the muscles straining his T-shirt were anything to go by, and his hair was cropped army-short, which accentuated warm dark brown eyes that glittered as he gave Jenna a huge smile. But he stopped short of a hug. ‘Hey. Hi, Jenna. How are you?’

  ‘G-g-great. Thanks. Um….’ Was it Chloe’s imagination, or was her sister stuttering? Make that speechless? That was new.

  He grinned. ‘I’ll just grab a drink. Do you want anything? Hey, you must be Chloe. I’m Nick.’ He held out his hand.

  Chloe took it and shook. It was nice and solid and safe. She was placing her sister into safe hands. Excellent. ‘Nice to meet you, Nick. And no drinks for me, thanks. I’m going home in two seconds. But Jenna’s on margaritas.’ She turned to her sister as he headed to the bar, giving them a good view of a well-toned backside. ‘Holy moly. Look at that fine specimen of a man.’

  Jenna was looking. Boy, was she looking. Not quite tongue lolling out of her mouth looking, but near as dammit. She hissed at Chloe, ‘I hate you.’

  ‘No, you don’t. You love me. Maybe not so much right now, but you’ll thank me later and you know it came from a good place.’

  ‘Why is he here? How is he here?’

  Chloe did feel a teensy guilty but was buoyed on by the alcohol. ‘One of us needs a chance at love, and I’m out of action for the time being. I texted him to say we were having a casual drink, and it would be a lovely surprise for you if he happened to be passing. I thought you need a nudge.’

  ‘I’m so not ready for this.’

  ‘You said you wanted to start living. Here’s your chance. He’s your chance.’ She ran her hand over her sister’s and squeezed it to stop it trembling. ‘Breathe, girl. Breathe. It’ll be fine. He is fine.’

  ‘He is mighty fine. But I’m not.’ Jenna’s jaw set tight. ‘No men, Chloe. I just want a business. A new life for me and my daughter. No. Men.’

  ‘Awww. Come on, I just want you to have some fun.’

  ‘Oh yeah. Like you?’

  Chloe thought back to the steel kitchen counter
and the strawberries. To the pancakes, the dancing, hiding under a throw and making love for hours. It had been beautiful and lots of fun, even if it wasn’t now. Even if her heart had been smashed to smithereens, her eyes still sore from the tears and her throat still full and raw. It might have sounded crazy, but she was totally glad because Hurricane Vaughn had happened. ‘Yes, honey, just like me.’

  It was late afternoon the next day by the time Chloe dared to catch up with Jenna. She texted her, playing light and pushing the guilt down to a minimum. It had been for her own good.

  Chloe: How did it go last night with Nick?

  Jenna: Okay I think, but I will never forgive you

  Chloe: Yes, you will. And…????

  Jenna: We talked a lot. He’s very lovely and kind, but only as a friend. He didn’t make a move, which was refreshing. (Or maybe it’s my layers of lard that put him off)

  Chloe: FFS Woman. Leave yourself alone. You’re gorgeous! But I’m glad it went well

  Jenna: I told him I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend… not in an intense way, I just said it in passing… and he seemed totally fine with that

  Chloe: Good—he should be

  Jenna: Looks like I have myself a friend, then. You know what? He’s totally into Game of Thrones too. So we had a long chat about that and theories about Jon Snow swoon. He’s got quite a sense of humour too. And… And, anyway, LEAVE ME ALONE! I have to get ready for book group. No, actually—come round now, you coward, and give me a hand. You OWE ME, BIG TIME

  ‘So how’s your man drought, Chloe? Getting any action?’ Mrs Singh peered over the book she was supposed to have read, but couldn’t remember anything about, so was relaying the story from the back cover. Clearly the book hadn’t held her interest, unlike Chloe’s sorry love life.

  But before Chloe opened her mouth, her mum butted in. ‘No action for either of my girls, I’m afraid. Our Chloe was after seeing a relative of Jason. He’s dumped her. And Jenna’s not got a hope of finding a man as she spends her life here, with me and her wee baby. More’s the pity because neither of them are getting any younger.’