Letters to Alice

by Rosie James

  Downstairs, Gloria had prepared one of her usual dinners – cottage pie and vegetables, followed by rice pudding, and as Alice took her place at the table she wondered how she was going to get through the generous portion already on her plate. After last night’s supper, she’d thought she wouldn’t want another thing to eat for a month.

  Gloria sat down opposite and looked across at her. ‘Well, well,’ she said, picking up her knife and fork, ‘so it’s back to normal, I s’pose, Alice…and I expect you’re going to miss your friends – Fay and Eve.’

  Alice didn’t hesitate. ‘We’ve been like triplets, Mrs. Hammond,’ she said. ‘And I know we’re always going to be good friends…we’ve already made plans to meet next Saturday evening – you know, go for coffee somewhere, or just look around and get used to everything.’ She paused to put some food into her mouth. ‘Eve’s going to be living back in Bath with her parents, of course – and they’re on the phone, so I’ve got her number to keep in touch, and they know I’m living here, and I’ve given them your number.’ Gloria, too, was now connected. ‘Fay is going to be staying with a friend for a week or two, until she can make more permanent arrangements, but I’ve got the address and I’ve promised to write to her.’

  ‘And are you going back to your old work places, all of you?’ Gloria wanted to know, and Alice shrugged.

  ‘It’s a bit in the air at the moment, for them,’ she said, ‘but apparently I can return to the office as soon as I like.’ She smiled. ‘I might like to postpone that happy moment and stay in bed until midday, to make up for all the early starts we’ve had for the last four years.’ She shook her head briefly. ‘I can tell you – at the beginning it was ghastly…it felt like getting up in the middle of the night!’

  There was silence for a few moments as they ate their meal, then Gloria said – ‘I’m dying to show you the wedding outfit I’ve bought, Alice – I know you’re going to like it! Well – I hope you do!’

  Alice smiled. Gloria was obviously, so happy, so excited about the forthcoming nuptials. ‘Well, go on – what have you chosen, Mrs. Hammond?’

  Gloria sat back for a moment, prepared to describe it in detail.

  ‘It’s a midnight blue costume – very smart – I liked it the second I saw it. The length of the skirt is just below the knee, and I thought it’s something I’ll be able to wear afterwards, to church, and that. There were a couple of frilly dresses I was shown,’ Gloria went on, ‘ but I didn’t think I’d get the wear out of one of those…and I’ve bought a really sweet, cream blouse to go with the costume, Alice. The assistant said it made me look so young! Wasn’t that nice of her?’ Gloria was clearly envisaging herself dressed up on the happy day. ‘I don’t need to buy new shoes, because I’ve hardly worn the black patent courts I bought before the war – so they’ll do fine.’ Then – ‘Dora came with me to help look around…I had plenty of coupons saved up even though there wasn’t a huge selection on offer. But,’ Gloria paused for a moment. ‘The only thing I haven’t got yet is my hat,’ she said, ‘and that’s the most important item, isn’t it…but I was so tired after all that browsing and going from shop to shop that I couldn’t be bothered to start trying on hats, so that’ll have to keep for another day. I’ve still got three weeks, haven’t I?’ She glanced across at Alice. ‘Perhaps you’d come with me to help me choose something, Alice? You’ll have more idea of what’ll look good. Well, better than me – and certainly better than Dora!’

  Alice nodded. ‘Of course I’ll come with you, Mrs. Hammond,’ she said.

  There was silence for a few moments as they finished their meal, then Gloria put down her knife and fork and looked across at Alice.

  ‘Actually, there is something else to ask you, Alice,’ she said seriously, ‘something a bit more important, and you must promise not to agree unless you really want to…it is something, well something rather special,’ she added.

  Alice looked up quickly. What was coming now?

  Gloria took a deep breath. ‘I was wondering whether you’d agree to give me away,’ she said. ‘I know it’s a bit unusual – but I’ve checked with the vicar and he says it would be perfectly all right for a lady to do that particular part of the service.’ Gloria looked wistful for a moment. Then – ‘You see, I don’t know a man, any man, well enough to ask. Who I would like to ask. But more than that, Alice, it would be an honour for me to have you walk down the aisle by my side to meet Don at the chancel steps. I’d hate to do it alone, I’d feel so awkward and lonely…and the one person who would make me feel…comfortable…well, happy…would be you, Alice.’ She gazed across at Alice. ‘You see, you’re family, Alice, you’re like a daughter I might have had. So who could be more appropriate to hold my arm – and stop my knees shaking – than you? But…’ Gloria paused. ‘If you don’t like the idea, you must say. I would understand.’

  For a few seconds, Alice found it difficult to speak. Then she got up and went over and put her arms around Gloria. ‘If it would be an honour for you, Mrs. Hammond, it would a double honour, and a great pleasure, for me,’ Alice said. ‘And I’ll be right by your side on your wedding day!’

  Well, that called for a drink. Out came the sherry, and the pair toasted each other in the small dining room, toasted the end of the war, toasted the future…for Gloria and Don – and for Alice, too.

  ‘And don’t forget, Alice,’ Gloria said, ‘that this will always be your home, for as long as you want it. I’ve told Don – that back bedroom is yours! And he’s in full agreement! So I don’t want you getting any funny ideas that you’re not wanted here any more. Because you’ll always be wanted here, Alice.’

  Much later, after the usual evening visit from Dora, Alice began to get ready for bed. She stared out of the window for a few moments, at the familiar little street lined with its terraced houses, the narrow pavement winding up the hill which she had walked up and down so many times. She turned away, her head teeming with thoughts – and with anxieties. But don’t worry, Mrs. Hammond. This is your house, and it’s going to be your love nest, without a third person cluttering up the place. As soon as you’ve come back from your honeymoon, I shall be gone.

  Alice got into bed and pulled the eiderdown up around her. It wasn’t a chilly night, but it was comfortable to snuggle against something cosy. And as she began drifting into sleep, she imagined herself walking alongside Gloria, down the long aisle of the church to the chancel steps, waiting for the ceremony to begin… How many times had Alice allowed herself to picture such a scene, but with other people and in another place? And with herself in the starring role?

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Alice took the cover off her typewriter and sat down at her desk – the desk she had vacated almost exactly four years ago. How weird it was going to seem, getting back in harness. She wondered if she should go on a refresher course to remind herself what she was supposed to do.

  Rex came in with a bundle of files in his arms. He’d been upstairs in the filing room, and he came straight over to Alice, a broad smile on his face. ‘Well, yippee,’ he said, ‘I can’t tell you how thankful I am that you’re back on that thing.’ He glanced down at the typewriter, then put the files on his own desk and came over to stand behind her, watching as she rapidly typed “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog” several times in quick succession. ‘I’ve had to do the honours while you’ve been away,’ Rex said, ‘but it’s been very laborious because I can only manage one finger at a time…it amazes me how quickly you can do it without crashing and ending up with a lot of gobbledegook on the page.’ He didn’t bother to admit that he’d got so mad with himself on one occasion that he’d thrown the carriage-return back in a state of such anger that the machine had flown straight off the desk and on to the floor. Which hadn’t done it – or him – any favours.

  Alice shrugged. ‘Touch typing does take some practice,’ she admitted, ‘and I was wondering whether I could still do it after so long away. But – apparently – I still can!
’ She stood up. ‘D’you know, now that I’m back, it feels so weird to have been more or less plucked out of my usual life and set down into a completely new one, and then to return to where I was before…I mean, did all that happen, after all? I can only describe it as feeling like a long, long strange dream that I’ve woken up from, and asking myself what it was all about.’ She glanced up at him. ‘At least you haven’t had that interruption, Rex, that fracturing of the norm.’

  Rex moved away for a moment to stare moodily out of the window, his hands in his pockets. When he was in his early teens he had contracted TB, which had left him with scarring on his lungs and a tendency to develop bad chest infections if he caught a cold. Which is why he had not been called up – something he bitterly regretted. It had given him no satisfaction at all to be stuck safely – well comparatively safely – in his home town for the duration of the war, when others had gone all over the country – some to other countries – to do their bit. And he’d always fancied himself in uniform – any one of the three services would have done, though he particularly liked the RAF blue. He’d tried hard to outwit the doctors at his medical for call-up, making light of his condition. After all, he was tall enough – and yes, strong enough – to have done some war work, and his eye-sight was particularly good. And he’d been regularly using the set of Indian clubs he’d bought to strengthen his physique, broaden his shoulders. He’d felt fit enough – and he knew he’d looked fit enough – but all it took was one X-ray to seal his fate and keep him here at home, here in this office, when he could have been having new experiences like everyone else. Perhaps doing great things for his country. Rex’s resentment still rankled.

  Now, he shrugged inwardly as he picked up some specifications for Alice to type up. It was too late for him, now. The damn war was over, gone, a thing of the past. But at least Alice was back. He had not been allowed to find a replacement for her while she’d been away, and Mary, the clerk, couldn’t type, so he’d had to do most of what had to be done himself, including, naturally, taking prospective clients on site visits. Well, houses had continued to be bought and sold, though in lesser numbers – whether Hitler liked it or not – and people still needed to find rooms to rent. So the work had chugged along, as usual.

  He was glad Alice was back.

  It was mid-September, one week before Gloria’s wedding, and when Alice got to work on the Monday morning she found Rex in a mild state of excitement. Mr. Pennington from head office was paying them a visit. This rarely happened, in fact Alice had never met the man herself, but Rex seemed to think that something was afoot which might lighten the tedium of the humdrum existence in the small Bristol branch. Privately, he hoped that perhaps Mr. Pennington might offer him the chance to spend some time in London, learning their ways up there with a view to tightening up things in Bristol? Or how about an announcement concerning a decent rise in pay? That would be good, because Rex wanted to take Alice somewhere special as soon as he’d been paid at the end of the month. Whatever the reason for the visit, it did suggest that at last something might happen for Rex Meredith, who was to meet the 10.30 train at Temple Meads and bring Mr. Pennington here.

  ‘You make the coffee this morning, Alice,’ Rex said out of the corner of his mouth so that Jack couldn’t hear. Jack meant well but always managed to make the coffee taste like something else completely, and Mr. Pennington probably got his from Harrods every morning. ‘There’s a new tin of Nescafé,’ Rex said, ‘and I’ll pick up some doughnuts from the bakery in Broad Walk before I drive to the station.’ Rex had a Ford eight, which despite having been perched up on blocks to protect its tyres while out of use during much of the war – (petrol rationing had been tight for those who didn’t really need it, and would continue for another five years) –had roared obediently into life as soon as peace had been declared and it had been lowered safely to the ground once more.

  Presently, Rex left to go to the station, and Alice went into the tiny bathroom to wash her hands – she’d had to put a new ribbon into the typewriter and had managed to blacken her fingers. She’d also had to do quite a lot of rubbing out, demonstrating her lack of practice. Still, it wouldn’t take long to get back on track, she thought, glancing at herself in the mirror above the sink. She paused at her reflection, asking herself the question – would she rather be back at Home Farm, milking the cows (the morning shift would have long finished by now), or would she rather be here, formally dressed in her black skirt and white blouse, fiddling with papers and long lists…?

  She put a comb through her hair thoughtfully, remembering last Saturday’s expedition into town to find Gloria a hat. It had taken some time, but in the shop at the bottom of Park Street they’d found just the thing – a perfect, dark blue cloche, blending exactly with the colour of the bridal suit, and which sat neatly on the crown. It was decorated with tiny forget-me-nots around the edge…not too fancy, but fancy enough to complete a very attractive ensemble. Gloria had been delighted, and very grateful to Alice for her company and advice.

  ‘Dora had wanted me to buy something with a great big brim,’ Gloria had said, ‘but that would have looked daft for someone my height – and my age.’ She’d glanced at Alice. ‘You could wear a big hat, Alice…you’d be just right for it – because it would suit your young features, the shape of your face. And I’d love to help you choose it – when the time comes for you!’ she’d added.

  Alice had made no comment. She’d stopped thinking too much about wedding outfits and hats and relationships. And when she and Rex had met up again, just before today, and he’d tried to make a fuss of her, she’d genuinely felt like recoiling. Go away, she’d thought. Just go away.

  She went back into the office, deciding that the very next thing she had to do was to search for new accommodation. She hadn’t wanted to upset Gloria by stating her intention to leave the moment Gloria got back from her honeymoon – which was to be in Torquay – (at a very posh hotel, Gloria had whispered to Alice) – nor to spoil things for the big day by leaving beforehand…after all, they, she and Gloria, would be getting ready together before departing for the church. No, timing and tact were paramount. But as soon as the bride and groom were back home, Alice hoped to be able to gently tell them that she’d found another one for herself. Quite nearby, perhaps, so that she could pop in occasionally…she may even tell a fib and say that she and Fay were thinking of finding somewhere to live together…she and the other two wise monkeys had met up twice in the weeks since leaving the farm, still finding things to talk and laugh about…but, it was different somehow. Different now that their lives had gone off in other directions again. Fay had apparently applied for a job at the Council House and had joined the Young Conservatives. This was to spite her father (even though he was no longer here) because he had always voted Labour. And Eve hadn’t gone back to Milsoms yet, owing to both her parents suddenly taking a turn for the worse and needing her full attention.

  Alice sighed, her mind humming with thoughts of what may lie ahead for her. But first things first, Gloria’s wedding – and her own part in it. They’d had a meeting with the vicar, and she knew what was expected of her – which was nothing, except to walk alongside the bride, and move a step forward at a given moment. Alice’s choice for her own outfit was a simple one – she wanted to do nothing to distract people’s attention from the bride – so she would be wearing the pale grey, cashmere dress which Helena has given her – it had been one of Helena’s own, which Alice had admired, and which Helena had insisted should be hers. It had a softly flowing style, its only adornment a small, purple wool flower on the shoulder. And Alice had decided that she wouldn’t wear a hat, but would dress her hair on top, and pin it securely with a pin around which she had wound some purple threads of Sylko to team up with the colour of the flower. At any rate, she hoped to merge safely into the background and leave the limelight for her landlady.

  Mr. Pennington was quite a short man, with a receding hairline and a generous, kindly smile
as he was introduced to Alice.

  ‘Ah yes, Miss Alice Watts,’ he said, shaking Alice by the hand, and holding her gaze for a moment. ‘I believe you have been on very demanding war work, Miss Watts, and I can only say how grateful we all are for the efforts put in by those who were conscripted.’ He paused. ‘To be thrown into a completely new way of life must have been, well, challenging at times, I imagine?’

  As the three sat in the corner of the office to drink their coffee, and to munch at the doughnuts which Rex had bought, Alice hoped that no prospective client would wander in to enquire about one of the properties she’d added to the ones advertised in the window. This was a small branch office, with nowhere really private to discuss details with anyone. If it was her place to suggest it, she’d at least section off one end of the room in some way…with a screen or something…she could think of a few changes to smarten things up a bit.

  But no one walked in, so it was just her, Rex, and Mr. Pennington there – Mary, their clerk, was away with ’flu, and Jack had been sent off to get more ink for the duplicator. Jack had been told to take his time, because Rex had sensed that something very important was coming up which would demand total attention and no distractions, and anyway was not likely to concern the print boy.

  Mr. Pennington cleared his throat.

  ‘I will come to the point as quickly as possible, he said, ‘and I thought it was right to come here to tell you – tell you both – what we have in mind.’ He paused to drink from his cup, and Rex found it hard to control his gathering heart-rate. This was something very important, and he glanced over at Alice, who seemed to be only mildly interested in what this senior member of staff had to say.

  ‘Before the war started, we had hoped to open a branch office in Dorset,’ Mr. Pennington said, ‘but of course, all such plans had to be put on hold – for however long, no one knew. The county town of Dorchester was the place we always had in mind, and to our great surprise a suitable building in the High Street came on the market last month – which we snapped up as soon as we heard about it.’