Camp Forget-Me-Not

by J. K. Rock

  He would, I mused, but not for the reasons Brooke thought.

  “So you won’t come?” The counselor rocked back on her heels. She looked from the rolling credits to an inattentive Victoria.

  “I have plans.” Brooke’s voice suddenly turned cold. “And I’m not letting Nia spoil them.”

  The wind stirred the humid air, and suddenly I wished I’d been invited on the swim trip more than ever. But since it wasn’t to be…I stood. “I’ll go check on Nia.”

  The counselor hesitated.

  Brooke got to her feet with the rest of the milling crowd and dusted off her fringed cut-offs. “Perfect, she’s friends with Kayla, too. Kind of.” She turned toward me. “Didn’t you hang out with her on Parents’ Weekend when my mom took me shopping?”

  I nodded. My mother hadn’t been able to make it, so I’d been on my own. When I’d spotted Nia looking lost without Brooke, we’d spent the day making friendship bracelets and cheating at Uno.

  Brooke linked arms with Nick. “There. Done. Thanks, Kayla!” She flipped a hand over her shoulder and sauntered toward the cabins with Nick, neither of them giving me a backward glance. Then again, why would they? I worked hard at being invisible.

  A couple minutes later, the infirmary door swung shut behind me. I ducked as a moth streaked by and banged against an overhead light bulb. Nia sat crosslegged in the middle of a cot, her arm in a sling. Her face brightened, then dropped when she saw me.

  “Hi, Kayla.”

  The cot squeaked as I sat behind her. “Brooke had plans she couldn’t break, so I came here to cheer you up. Okay?”

  Nia’s shoulders slumped. “Sure. I didn’t think she’d come anyway.”

  “I know she really wanted to,” I lied, not knowing anything about why she hung out with Brooke. Or tried to. I mean, what kind of girl thought Brooke was cool? If Nia was that desperate for a friend, she must have it pretty rough.

  “Wanted to hang out with Nick, you mean?” Nia crossed her arms until her splint got in the way and she winced. “He’s all she talks about since we came to camp…when she even talks to me. I thought we were friends, but it turns out she just wants me to do stuff for her.”

  I had no clue what to say. My life sucked, too. I’d never been good at changing it, so who was I to give advice?

  “Want to play Uno?” I pointed to a stack of games on a nearby table. “That is, can you even move your arm well enough?”

  Nurse Hammel, who’d worked at camp for as long as I’d been attending, gave me a gentle smile and a nod that made her chins jiggle. “She can play. I’m just keeping an eye on her for a little while. It’s camp policy after an injury.”

  “Can you believe my crap luck?” Nia pointed to her splint and lowered her voice to keep the conversation private. “I use this arm for everything, and now I can’t do anything. Brooke won’t want me around if I can’t help her.” She nodded at a makeup bag resting beside her. “I was supposed to meet her at the beach with her waterproof stuff.”

  Right. Because having non-streaking mascara for a midnight swim was a huge priority. I tried hard not to let that thought out. Nia and Brooke’s relationship reminded me of how I’d been around Hannah when I first got into the Divas’ Den. Maybe I was a little judgmental because of that.

  “How about I put the makeup on you instead?” I improvised, moving to Nia’s other side so the nurse wouldn’t hear. “It’ll cheer you up. My mother works— worked—for a fashion magazine, and she taught me a few tricks.”

  “Really?” Nia glanced at the designer makeup bag like it might bite her. “Brooke doesn’t really let me touch her stuff.”

  “She trusted you enough to deliver it to her, so that’s good enough for me. Besides…” I angled my head side to side. “I don’t see Brooke here.”

  “But what if she finds out?”

  And I thought I was a follower? Holy crap, this girl needed some Diva lessons if she was going to survive our cabin. Who would have thought I’d ever nominate myself?

  “Please. Who’s going to tell her?” I poked Nia in the side. “Nurse Hammel?”

  Our eyes slid to the woman efficiently stacking gauze pads in a square plastic container. Nia nodded. “She does look really busy.”

  We laughed, and I reached across her to grab the bag. I unzipped it, inventorying the contents. There were some good brands mingled with drugstore stuff I would have chosen myself. “Looks like everything is here. Come on, Nia. Don’t you want a makeover?”

  Her eyes grew wide. “What are you going to do?”

  I shrugged and waved a powder brush through the air. “Twirl a couple of times and say ‘Bippity-boppity-boo.’ You know, the usual.”

  She laughed loud enough to make Nurse Hammel look up and frown. Really? Hadn’t I been brought in to lighten the mood?

  “Fine. But you’ll have to scrub it off after,” Nia said in a hushed tone. “Brooke will kill me if she saw me using her stuff.”

  I held up a container of makeup cleaning wipes. “Covered there, too. Okay?”

  Nia nodded. “Okay. But nothing weird. Just normal. Only better.”

  “Got it.” It was exactly the look I’d envisioned. Although I didn’t wear makeup in public—too much risk of getting noticed and judged—I’d loved experimenting with it ever since my mother taught me some industry secrets.

  We scooted closer to a desk lamp so I could see what I was doing. Since Nia’s skin was already flawless, I swept clear powder with a bit of sparkle across her face to give her a dewy fresh look. The blushes were a tougher choice since, of the four, the two daytime shades were both good choices. But if I went with the apricot-tinted color, then I could use the olive and gold colors on Nia’s large brown eyes, making them pop. I narrated as I went just like they did in all the YouTube how-to videos I’d watched.

  “How do you know so much about this?” Nia asked as I smoothed blush onto her cheeks. She turned her face the other way as I finished with one side.

  “I’ve been on my mother’s fashion magazine shoots. Seen the makeup artists at work.”

  I rubbed some light brown beneath her cheekbones, making them look higher, her face narrower. I didn’t add that my mom had used makeup to cheer me up once after a crap day at school. I didn’t know Nia well enough to tell her my darkest secrets. But eighth grade had been rough. I’d come home after being teased about my weight and raided Mom’s makeup, wanting to look like one of the supermodels on her magazine covers. Except I’d created a total mess.

  When my mother found me, she hadn’t screamed about her broken lipstick. She’d set to work, transforming my face until I hadn’t recognized the pretty girl staring back at me in the mirror. I’d practiced until I learned to do it myself, then debuted my new look at school. Only instead of the insults stopping, I got picked on more. That’s when I learned the truth. The laws of bullies were like the laws of the jungle: the ones that stood out from the pack got attacked. I vowed never to be noticed again. Now that I’d dropped the pounds, I blended in and wasn’t judged. It was the only way I knew how to survive.

  “Can I see yet?” Nia grabbed for a compact mirror, but I slid it out of reach.

  “No.” I pointed an eye pencil at her. “And stop squirming. And smiling.”

  “This is really nice of you, Kayla. You could have gone to the beach instead of hanging out with me.”

  I met her eyes. “Trust me. I’d much rather be here.”

  “Know what?” Her brown eyes sparkled. “Me, too. You can be my makeup artist anytime. When Brooke’s not around.”

  I leaned back to study her face, impressed with the early results. Nia was naturally pretty, but now her skin glowed and her face looked angular and defined. “You couldn’t afford me,” I teased.

  “Then how about blackmail? From the way Nick keeps checking you out, I think you two are having a secret relationship. Fess up, girl.” She poked me in the ribs, then giggled so loudly we didn’t hear the door open behind us or the approaching foots
teps, until a face startled us quiet.

  Nick.

  “What are you doing here?” I didn’t mean to sound rude, but that’s how it came out.

  His straight brows came together. “I need some calamine lotion. The bugs are pretty bad tonight.”

  “Bugs?”

  “Calamine lotion?”

  Nia and I spoke at the same time, then let our mouths drop open, eyes round as he sauntered to the cot. It was weird. After watching Nick on TV in the Olympics, the X Games, and commercials, seeing him on every magazine cover and even at a distance here at camp, I hadn’t expected how much his closeness would affect me. It was as though every part of me took its first breath. Suddenly I felt alive, exhilarated, and slightly dizzy. The flash of his hazel eyes through long, dark eyelashes felt like a physical touch. My eyes wandered up to his strong forearms where they disappeared into a faded yellow T-shirt that pulled across his lean torso and cut chest.

  “How bad are the bites, young man?” Nurse Hammel gestured for Nick to join her at her desk. With a last, level look, he strode away. I forced my eyes back to the makeup bag still in my hands.

  I tried tuning out his conversation across the room as I rimmed Nia’s eyes in brown, but couldn’t blot out how handsome Nick looked. He’d grown several inches since I’d last seen him, and his thin, sharp face was now angular and square-jawed with a perfect, straight nose over full lips. No wonder he was quickly becoming the most photographed athlete in the world.

  “Kayla, I think my eye stopped three inches ago.” Nia pointed at the line I’d drawn nearly to her ear.

  Crap. I hoped it wasn’t obvious that I’d been staring at him.

  “Oh, so you’re not going for the Cleopatra look?” I used a wipe to erase the extra liner. She smothered a giggle and fell back against her pillow. I loved hearing her that happy after how upset she’d been earlier. The bullies of the world held no power over us here. “Seriously, I could pencil in a neck tattoo to match the weird eyeliner. Maybe a zombie face.”

  “Just draw Brooke when she first wakes up in the morning,” Nia whispered, imitating Brooke’s stumbling rise out of bed.

  The impression was so spot-on that I laughed, too, and we were giggling enough to make Nurse Hammel give us the stink eye.

  “Oops. Sorry.” I hadn’t meant to draw attention to us, but even Nick stared.

  I turned away from his intent look and tried to pull myself together.

  “Stay still,” I warned Nia as I put the finishing touches on her eye shadow while she still fought the giggles.

  “Will that be all, young man?” asked Nurse Hammel.

  “What?” Nick asked, his voice sounding confused as he stared at me. There was something wistful in his expression. Almost like he wished he could join in the fun Nia and I were having…only that didn’t make sense. We were definitely not cool enough for Nick. Not anymore. Yet Nia had said he checked me out. Was he noticing me more than he let on?

  “If you don’t require further assistance, I suggest you return to your cabin. I’m sure your counselor will be looking for you,” said Nurse Hammel, pointing to the door.

  Or Brooke, I added silently. What was up with Nick’s delay? He definitely ate up Brooke’s attention at the movie. Even stranger, he’d always teased me for being a baby about bug bites. So why was he squeamish now?

  “Uh…sure.”

  When the door swung open and shut behind him, a puff of warm evening air curled around my calves. I took my first easy breath since Nick’s arrival. “So, Nia, do you want to see the new you…” My voice trailed off when I noticed Nia’s head on the pillow, her lashes fanned against her cheeks, her chest rising and falling.

  I peered across the room at Nurse Hammel. “Is she—”

  “Asleep.” The nurse hefted herself from her chair, made a detour to her small fridge, then marched to the cot. “Yes, I’m sure she is. We gave her painkillers a half hour ago. I thought she would have been drowsy before now, but I think she was trying to stay awake for her friend. The one who didn’t come.”

  “Oh.” I knew how that felt. How many nights had I stayed up on the off-chance one of Mom’s business events finished early? “Will she be all right?”

  “Yes.” The nurse laid a hand across Nia’s brow. “Nothing’s broken so she should be back to normal in a week or so.”

  “That’s good. I’ll visit her tomorrow then, okay?” I grabbed the bottled water Nurse Hammel held out but forced myself to ignore the cherry pop she usually reserved for her sickest patients, one of the most coveted treats at camp. In fact, it was the reason so many played sick, especially during lanyard-making or square dance lessons. It was nice of her to offer it, but every calorie counted. Even though I was normal weight now, I still paid attention to that stuff.

  “You’re a sweet girl, Kayla.” Nurse Hammel’s eyes shone green through her creased lids. “But Nia will be back in your cabin tomorrow. She’s just spending the night so I can observe her while she’s on this medication.”

  “Okay, thanks.” I trudged to the door, wishing I could have hung out with Nia more. It was the most fun I’d had today, and I’d finally gotten to know her as more than Brooke’s follower. I left the makeup wipes on top of the bag so she’d be sure to see them as soon as she woke up.

  “Kayla, wait,” called a voice once I stepped outside.

  I froze.

  Nick.

  A shadow stepped from beneath a large juniper tree, piercing, light hazel eyes reflecting every ray the moon shot at them.

  “Hey, Nick,” I mumbled. It was the first time I’d really spoken to him since he’d come back to camp. “What are you still doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be at the lake?”

  I stuffed my hands in my pockets and stared at my flip-flops. Looking at him was the mental equivalent of staring directly at the sun. Complete disorientation.

  He stepped forward, and his sandals touched mine. “I’m not sure if I’m going. Are you?”

  I blushed. Was Nick waiting for me? Impossible. He was so into Brooke.

  “I wasn’t invited.”

  The wind picked up my long hair and blew it across his face. I couldn’t help but watch as he held the strands, a pale gold against his dark skin, before letting them slide through his fingers.

  “Thought you and the Divas were tight.” An edge crept into Nick’s voice, and he shifted his weight to his left foot.

  “Things change.” And they had. I’d once thought being a Diva meant never being the outsider again. Now I knew better.

  “Guess so.” Nick’s voice cracked, and for a moment I heard my old friend. “Bet you never believed somebody like me would have two gold medals now.”

  I pulled up my slipping tank strap and slid my sweating feet out of my flip-flops. “I always believed in you,” I whispered.

  Nick held my upper arms, and I smelled his spicy musk. “What did you say?”

  “Forget it.” I clicked on my flashlight, lighting the path home. “I’ve got to go.”

  He let go, one finger sliding down the length of my arm before his hands fell to his sides. “You always do.”

  “What do you want me to say, Nick?” I put my hands on my hips and pressed my lips together.

  We stared at each other for a long time. In the distance, an owl hooted. Crickets thrummed in the grass tickling my feet. Finally Nick hung his head. “Nothing. I don’t expect anything,” he said without looking up, his voice pitched so low I strained to hear it.

  I opened my mouth to answer, but a loud whisper interrupted me.

  “Nick!” Brooke raced up from the lake, her skin dark against a pink, crystal-studded string bikini. “We’ve been waiting for you. What have you been doing… oh…” Her voice trailed off when she saw me. “Kayla. We thought you were coming down to swim, too. Brittany was supposed to tell you.”

  “Oh. Ah…I guess I feel like an early night, so no thanks.” It was pointless to call her out on not inviting me. She’d only deny it and make m
e look like the jerk. Besides, if I had to look at her sliding her hands up and down Nick’s abs anymore, I’d lose it.

  Were they a couple now? Or was Brooke just getting bolder by the day?

  “Have fun,” I called and stepped onto the path back to the Divas’ Den.

  “Come on, Nick,” I heard Brooke say. “You heard her. Let’s have fun.”

  Nick cleared his throat, and his voice sounded deep again. “Definitely. Starting now.”

  Brooke’s shout made me turn around. She’d launched herself on Nick’s back, and he staggered before catching her legs to steady her. Brooke squealed and threw her arms around his neck as he jogged to the beach, his back muscles rippling. I closed my eyes against the sight of him holding another girl and strode up the path.

  What had I expected after rejecting him? That when he saw me again, all would be forgiven? That he’d listen, believe me when I told him that I’d pushed him away for his sake, not mine? It wasn’t even worth trying. Plus, that was only half the truth.

  I’d been selfish, scared, and trying to fit in. And he knew it.

  “Kayla!” Rachel caught up to me when I reached the cabin. She leaned over at the waist, breathing hard, and held up one finger.

  Finally she straightened. “Come swim with us. Nick mentioned you didn’t think you were invited, and we all got confused about who told you about it. But either way…” She slung an arm around my shoulder. “Divas don’t need invitations. We arrive, honey.”

  The way she said it made me laugh. And just like that, something warm and fuzzy bubbled up inside. Nick might not want me, but my cabin mates did. At least some of them. And for this summer, it would have to be enough.

  Ten minutes later, whistles sounded when dropped my towel and tiptoed into the water. After promising Rachel I’d join them, I’d dressed quickly in the dark. Since I didn’t want to wake a snoring Victoria, I’d grabbed the first bathing suit I could find in my drawer. Except now that I could see better, it was the skimpiest two-piece I had: a red-and-white striped top and blue-starred bottom a swim teammate sent as a Fourth of July gag gift. Why hadn’t I thrown it out? So stupid. Now all the boys stared at me, including Nick.