Camp Forget-Me-Not

by J. K. Rock

  “That is correct.” Soraya leaned down, examined a pinecone, then straightened. “Junior counselors are not permitted to engage in such behaviors and, if caught, will face expulsion.”

  Whoa. For a little kid, she spoke like an adult.

  I caught a speculative look from Nick before he passed Kennedi a tube of antibiotic cream. At least there was no chance in hell we’d ever be caught kissing. I imagined the rule applied to CITs on the job as well.

  Clearing my throat, I figured it was past time to get moving again because drooling over Nick was not getting me anywhere.

  “Those are Fraser firs,” I announced to the group, finding my teacher voice. “You can tell by the gray-brown trunks and the upward branches that form the conical-shaped tops.” I pointed my water bottle at a clump of fir trees leaning out of a rocky hillside.

  “That’s the last pinecone we need.” Soraya shoved her sheet in her pocket and scrambled after Toby and Claire, clawing her way with the rest of the group up the steep incline.

  “Wait for me!” Kennedi tossed Nick the first-aid cream he’d handed her for a cut and raced off. In seconds, they were halfway up.

  I was about to follow the kids, since God knows Amanda and Josh weren’t coming back any time soon, but I stopped a few feet up when I heard a sob behind me.

  “I’m going to make the Pirates lose.” Daan’s rasp sounded faint amongst the raucous noise overhead.

  “No, you’re not.” My pulse hammered at the tender note that entered Nick’s voice. His large hand gripped the boy’s shoulder.

  “But I can’t make it up that hill. I’m a loser.”

  I slipped behind a tree and tried not to draw attention to myself. This was a bro moment if I ever saw one. Yet something made me linger, even if it was wrong to eavesdrop.

  “You have asthma. Big difference. Huge. Where’s your inhaler?”

  Nick and I had both received briefing on the kids’ allergies and Daan’s asthma. I’d been armed with an EpiPen today in case of any nut reactions for Soraya, and Nick had overseen the packing of the inhaler that Daan was approved to carry at all times.

  I snuck a peek around the trunk and saw Nick pass the apparatus to Daan, a line appearing between his eyes. It was the concerned look I remembered. One I hadn’t seen in a long, long time. Without his usual cocky self-assurance, Nick seemed younger. The old Nick. The young man I wish he’d grown up to be. Was he still in there?

  “Feel better?” Nick lowered the inhaler and stowed it in a backpack when Daan nodded.

  The shouts of the climbing campers grew fainter now, and I moved to follow them, then froze at Nick’s next words.

  “You don’t have to go up that way. I know an easier way, and if we hurry, I bet we can beat all of them.”

  “Really?”

  My chest tightened as I watched Daan’s misery transform into delight. His grin made me feel so incredibly proud of Nick for hanging back to encourage a kid who needed it. This was the Nick I knew. The one I wanted to know again if he’d let me in again.

  “Follow me. It’s this way.” And with that, the two hustled off to the left of the cliff where a gentler incline was revealed after Nick parted the thick brush. They were gone in an instant, but the impression Nick left with me lingered.

  Minutes later, I reached the top to hear the group cheering for Daan, who no longer seemed intent on squashing, snapping, or whipping anything. Instead, he looked genuinely thrilled as he held a Fraser pinecone aloft, his cabin mates cheering, the Mermaids’ booing.

  “Not fair! You cheated.” Kennedi chucked a pinecone at Daan, but hit an approaching Josh instead.

  “Hey! What’s going on here?” Josh pulled out the small, purplish cone sticking to his hair, then dodged another one.

  Amanda appeared behind him, though the pine needles in her hair seemed to have nothing to do with the nature missiles now being lobbed between the boys and the girls.

  When a cone hit me between the eyes, I looked over at Nick, his broad grin giving him away. My heart fluttered. We might as well have been the same age as the campers we supervised because suddenly it felt like old times.

  I scooped up an armload of ammo and raced his way, pegging him with them until he fell to his knees and covered his face, whimpering, “Mercy!”

  I dumped the rest of them over his head.

  He grinned up at me through the shower of pinecones and, without warning, slung an arm around my knees, throwing me off-balance.

  I landed on the spongy forest floor, breathless from laughter, especially with Nick tickling the spot on my left side that only he knew got me. Yes. This was the moment I’d hoped for with my long lost friend. Yet the warmth filling me at his touch felt a lot more than just friendly.

  “Nick,” I gasped at last. “Red light.”

  He continued tickling. “Still looks yellow to me.”

  “RED LIGHT.” My God. If he didn’t stop, I’d pee my pants. Plus, everything around us was in total chaos with kids running and chucking twigs, stones, cones, and needles at each other, and Amanda and Josh hollering for everyone to calm down. We really should help. But it felt like Nick and I were in our own bubble and any move might pop it.

  Nick put his hands in the air, dimples on display. “No means no,” he quoted from an icky video the camp nurse had made us watch when we’d hit puberty. I couldn’t help but giggle at our old, inside joke.

  “Yes!” I said and stood, brushing dirt from my shorts. His arm wound around my waist again, and I put my hand against his chest. “I mean no.”

  Finally, the tickling stopped and we stared at each other, still laughing. And then, suddenly…we weren’t.

  For one charged moment, our eyes held, and my breath caught. I don’t know how long we would have stayed like that, but a tumbling Pirate crashed into Nick and nearly knocked him over.

  “Whoa!” He caught the kid and righted him while I scrambled to my feet, my cheeks warm.

  Amanda beckoned me over, and we formed a human chain to stumble and skid our way down the graduated shortcut Nick had found, the boys behind us.

  Although Nick and I didn’t talk as we tramped the rest of the way toward Crystal Falls, I could feel his eyes on me. What was happening between us? Was there still more to Nick than the flashy gold medalist he let the rest of the campers see? And if so, did that Nick have any interest in me? I was so preoccupied that I didn’t notice the hole in the path until my foot sank deep and I wrenched my ankle.

  “Ouch!” My knees scraped the rocky path, but the sharp pain shooting up from my ankle brought tears to my eyes.

  Nick was by my side in a flash, his expression concerned once more as he scooped me up and carried me to a nearby log. “It’s going to be all right,” he whispered against the part in my hair.

  I could feel the rapid beat of his heart as I pressed my ear to his broad chest and inhaled his musky spice scent. And even though my foot throbbed like crazy, maybe a sprained ankle was a small price to pay for the chance to be in Nick’s arms again.

  While I closed my eyes and held onto him tighter, he carried me to a log beside a pool of water and set me down carefully. I untwined my arms from his neck as he knelt at my feet and tugged off my boot and sock.

  “Is this okay?” His eyes searched mine, questioning. A worried line appeared between his eyebrows.

  How many times had he helped me that first year we’d met and I’d been so painfully shy? I nodded, trusting him. He dipped my foot in the water, and it was only then, as I looked up at the cascading water splashing down sparkling rocks, that I realized where we were. Crystal Falls.

  I almost yanked my foot out of the pond because of the memories all around, but Nick’s gentle grip kept it submerged. Despite it all, I couldn’t help thrilling at his touch. If only we weren’t surrounded by a throng of kids who jostled each other for a better look at my injury.

  Amanda squatted on my other side. “We were going to picnic here, but there’s a meadow a little farther dow
n. Would you rather Josh and I take the kids and you two catch up with us when you can walk?”

  If they were leaving, that meant Nick and I would be here. Alone. At Crystal Falls. For a moment, the pain in my ankle subsided, nudged out by the panic at being left to face Nick and the horrible past we shared here.

  “That sounds good, Amanda. Thanks.” Nick spoke at last when it was clear I wouldn’t. Or couldn’t.

  Minutes later, the forest was quiet again except for the gushing water and the chirp of forest birds as they called out their territory. The white foam at the bottom of the falls frothed and roiled along with my churning stomach. I focused on my pale foot in the clear water, my eyes straying to Nick’s reflection beside it.

  “Any better?” he asked at last, his voice earnest.

  “No.” And I meant it. Nothing was better. Not my ankle. Not me. Not us. It all hurt. Alex’s words came back to me, the reminder that I needed to apologize. Maybe, no matter what, that was the antidote for the emptiness I felt inside. “I’m sorry, Nick,” I blurted.

  Nick snorted. “For twisting your ankle? That’s not your fault.”

  Suddenly I was the waterfall, tears flooding my cheeks and dripping down my chin. Why was it so hard to make him understand me?

  He cupped my cheeks and turned my face to his. “Hey. Shhh. It’s okay. Really. Your boots protected you and there isn’t much swelling yet, so it’s probably just a twist…not even a sprain.”

  “It’s. Not. That,” I gasped out, my breathy intake of air jagged.

  His fingers stroked the side of my face. “Then what is it, Kay?”

  And just like that. Hearing him say my name the old way. It undid me and I wept harder.

  “Talk to me,” he urged.

  “Why are you being so nice to me?”

  His hand fell away, and an aching emptiness replaced his warm touch.

  “I…I don’t know,” he said at last, sounding uncertain for the first time since he’d returned to camp. His square jaw clenched.

  “Me neither,” I buried my head in my hands and spoke through my fingers. “I don’t deserve it. After what I did to you. Here. It was mean, and I’m sorry for ditching you for the Divas.”

  “Are you?” His deep voice broke when he reached for me, pulling me close, his arms solid and fast around me. I could feel a deep tremble shudder through him, and I buried my head in the nape of his neck, shaking too. My pounding head and throbbing foot melted away, replaced by a surging tide of happiness that had my toes curling underwater. He still cared.

  Nick tipped my chin, and his face was a blur until he wiped my tears away with his thumbs.

  “I’m so sorry, Nick. I never meant for you to—”

  His lips captured mine, cutting off the rest of what I needed to say with a tender, breathless kiss that left me lightheaded. The world around me seemed to sway, and I clung to him, needing the reassurance of his firm arms to tell me that this was real. Happening. Not a dream I’d wake up from when the alarm buzzed. No. The hard muscles beneath my fingertips responded to my touch, tightening as I traced the curve of his biceps.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he murmured when he pulled away and gazed into my eyes, his pupils large and rimmed by hazel.

  “So are you,” I whispered and pushed aside the dark hair that had fallen across his brow.

  He captured my hand in his own and pressed a fierce kiss against my palm, his gaze never leaving mine. “I’ve wanted to kiss you. Since that night in the kitchen.” He laughed and looked down self-consciously. “Since we came here three years ago.”

  “Me too.”

  With a groan, he pulled me across his lap and kissed me again, and I’d never been so lost so fast. Pleasure at making up with Nick combined with all the years I’d missed him. It felt like I couldn’t kiss or pull him close enough.

  His lips parted mine, the increased pressure delicious and frenzied. Tremors skimmed across my nerves, my body awash with sensation after sensation, each more incredible than the last. I stroked the side of his lean jaw and kissed him back. Every emotion I’d held back poured out of me, and I twisted closer to him, restless for more of him. We’d waited so long and now, after all this time, here we were—our bodies, minds, and hearts in perfect sync. Joy flooded me. We’d found our way back to each other at last.

  “Kayla! Nick!”

  Nick stopped at the sudden noise, his eyes meeting mine.

  “It’s Josh.” In one swift motion, Nick had me off his lap and back beside him on the log.

  “What?” It was the best I could manage. How the hell was Nick suddenly so in control? Thinking straight? Had he been as affected by our kiss as I was?

  “It’s Josh. He’s coming to make sure we’re all right.” Nick pulled down my T-shirt so that it no longer revealed my stomach.

  I shook my head to clear it. “And are we? All right?” Suddenly I had my doubts, given the way he’d shoved me aside the minute someone else could see us. My heart pounded so loud I could hardly hear anything else, but then, a crashing noise sounded nearby and I caught a glimpse of Josh’s blue shirt as he approached.

  “You two okay?” called Josh.

  Nick helped me to my feet, his touch feeling too light. Casual. The quick side-to-side and up-and-down movement he gave my ankle, too impersonal. When I didn’t wince, he called, “We’re all right.”

  And with that, he bounded into the forest, intercepting Josh before we were caught together.

  Or so I hoped. But a second later, laughter boomed and I cringed, imagining Nick joking with Josh about me. Bragging even. Had I been the object of Nick’s competitive side today? A challenge to win?

  I exhaled a moment later when Nick didn’t return, a small rush of air leaking from my tight chest. My ankle no longer hurt, but my heart stung.

  Had I been played? I didn’t want to believe that after the glimpses I’d had of my old friend today. Then again, I didn’t see him claiming me for his girlfriend over Brooke or asking me to go to the camp dance this Friday. He’d kissed me when no one else was around and made sure it remained a secret. He confused me so much I couldn’t see straight.

  I guess Nick won this round.

  But I was done playing.

  Chapter Seven

  Nick,

  Staring down at what would be my last letter to Nick, I crossed out the “Dear”. I had to stop fooling myself when it came to him. What we had in the past, yes, was still dear to me. But the game-playing and one-upping each other hurt and I was over it.

  “Kayla!” Brittany screeched while I tried writing the note. Since it was blistering hot, The Divas were headed to the beach on our free period. But I had ducked into the cabin two doors down to work on the letter to Nick.

  “She left with the Munchies,” Hannah’s voice drifted on the muggy air through the open window just over my head. “She’s probably sick of Ms. High and Mighty bossing us all to death.”

  The Munchies had left two minutes ago and I’d told Victoria I was tagging along with them so I could talk to Emily. Then, of course, I didn’t. I smoothed the purple stationery balanced on my beach read while I perched on someone’s trunk. Focus. There was so much I wanted to say to Nick. Time to express myself better and more often.

  Because—amazingly—I felt better for apologizing to Nick. Sure, I knew he’d used that moment of weakness at the falls to one-up me. Show off how much he could toy with my feelings. Yet bottom line, I still felt better knowing that I’d made an effort to right an old wrong. If he wanted to continue being Mr. Arrogant Athlete, that was his problem. I’d at least apologized and owned up to my mistake. I’d put myself out there and taken a chance. For me, that was a big step. And yeah, it hurt that it hadn’t worked out, but I’d tried. Was proud of myself. Now I could think about how I’d treated Nick and not feel so ashamed. From now on, I’d hold my head up when Nick was around.

  So now I was going to try harder to speak my mind. Well, in this case, write it. That was easier since Nick st
ill made me nervous. Arrogant or not, Nick had the power to make me forget my own name when he talked to me.

  You proved your point. Yes, you could have had me back if you’d wanted me. But since I’d already apologized for breaking up with you, you didn’t need to play me with that.

  I crossed out “kiss” because this was starting to feel like a juicy blackmail piece if anyone ever intercepted it. But how else could I say it? “I’m not sure you needed to use your tongue so skillfully?”

  I rewrote “kiss.”

  Don’t write me again. I won’t be checking the spot now that I know you were only being nice to get back at me for the past.

  That was vague enough. He’d know what I meant. No one else would. Especially because I didn’t sign the letter. Besides, we’d had a long track record of not getting caught sending notes. I wasn’t all that worried even though this felt like the most I’d ever written.

  Folding the stationery in half, I stuffed it in my floral beach bag and slipped out of the Munchies’ Manor screen door, shutting it v-e-r-y carefully. Then I booked it over to the boys’ campus, my topknot bouncing all over the place and starting to fall out. Sliding the note into the spot I knew Nick would look, I narrowly avoided a bunch of younger campers bursting out of their cabin to play Frisbee under the pine trees.

  Whew.

  Mission accomplished, I jogged to the beach and arrived just as the rest of the Divas were settling into spots on the sand. Or trying to, anyway. Good spots were tough to come by since half the camp had shown up today.

  “Nia!” Brooke’s entitled shriek rose above the din of volleyball games and horseshoes. “Clear us some space!”

  I didn’t see our overworked cabin mate until a pile of towels moved. Poor Nia held a beach blanket, multiple towels, and what looked like a beach umbrella, the stuff mounted so high her chin barely topped the stack. I hurried closer to help while the rest of the Divas looked nervous. Only Hannah rebelled openly. She rolled her eyes then started unstacking towels from Nia’s arms and chucking them onto the sand.