by Ivy Jordan
“You’re gonna get your heart broken again, that’s what you’re gonna do,” she snapped.
I took a deep breath, tossing my head back against my shoulders. I stared up at the ceiling fan, spinning slowly, pushing the warm air from the furnace vents down onto my face.
“What if I don’t get hurt?” I asked, pulling my eyes back to hers.
“What if you do?” she quickly replied. “History has a way of repeating itself,” she added.
History. That was the problem. I had a history with Liam, a good one, at least up until he left. I loved him. I’d loved him since I’d first laid eyes on him, and that had never changed. Twelve years had not healed my heart.
“He says he’s staying,” I injected.
“He says, he says, whoa, then what are we worried about?” Maria roared sarcastically.
“Lower your voice, please,” I whispered.
“Sorry. I just don’t want to see you get hurt.” Her eyes softened, and she gave me a concerned look.
I could see the pain in her eyes, from Dad leaving and being alone all these years. I knew it wasn’t easy. She spent all of her time at the church, helping to take care of Holly, and taking care of me. She was lonely—and probably a little bitter—but that didn’t mean I had to be.
“You hated Bruce,” I snipped.
“Bruce has nothing to do with this,” she hissed.
“Mom, I really love him,” I sighed.
“It’s been twelve years; how could either of you possibly still have the same feelings? You’re two different people,” she claimed.
“Maybe we’re not so different,” I smiled.
“What is that smile?” she scorned, her eyebrows lifting as my cheeks started to flush.
“What?” I gushed, struggling to hold back my giggle.
“Don’t tell me you’ve already…” she didn’t finish her sentence.
I watched my mother lean back in the vintage chair, her hands gripping the swirled spindles that surrounded the sides and back. Her expression was tough to read. It wasn’t anger or disappointment that I expected. Instead, it was a smile.
“Alyssa, if this is what you want, then you have to take the risk; just be sure you’re ready for what comes of it. If things don’t work out between you two, just know that you still have to raise a daughter together,” she warned.
“Thank you, Mom,” I gushed, jumping from my chair, and wrapping my arms around her.
“Don’t thank me. Just be careful with that heart of yours. It may have been twelve years, but it’s obviously still wounded,” she advised.
“Mom, Mom,” Holly bounced into the kitchen with a paper in her hand.
“What’s this?” I asked as she pushed it towards me.
I read the details: a rally at the school, and the entire chorus would entertain the guests with several songs, one of which Holly would sing solo.
“Oh, wow,” I gasped, squeezing my daughter tightly.
“Can I ask Dad to go?” she pleaded.
“Of course,” I said quickly, too quickly.
“I’ll call him now,” Holly started to take off out of the room.
“No. I’ll call him,” I insisted.
She was gone, back in her room, planning what to wear, practicing singing, and probably playing videos on her computer. She was doing anything but studying, not that she needed to. She was a straight-A student, on the honor roll, and already a candidate for the town’s scholarship program.
“What will people think if Liam and I go together?” I asked my mother.
“Who cares,” Maria scoffed.
“I care,” I replied.
Maria laughed. She was never one to worry what others thought. She had tough skin, but not me. I wished I was more like her.
“You’ll have to get used to it,” Maria advised.
“I hate this small town. Everyone’s bored; there’s nothing to do here except get into everyone’s business,” I snapped.
“Well, right now, you, Liam, and Holly are a hot topic,” she chuckled.
Yeah. I guess we were.
“I’m gonna call Liam,” I said, walking from the kitchen and heading into my bedroom.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Maria said quickly as she left.
Shit. She would be there too. There was no way she’d miss one of Holly’s events.
I shut my door for some privacy and dialed Liam’s number. He answered quickly.
“Hey there, stranger,” he greeted me.
“Hey,” I replied softly.
It was nice to hear his voice. I suddenly became nervous, my voice cracking to the point I couldn’t speak. I cleared it quickly, sounding like a horse letting out a snoot.
“You miss me already?” he asked playfully.
I did. I really did.
“I was just calling for Holly. She has a solo in the school rally tomorrow, and she wanted you to come,” I explained.
“I’d love to,” he responded.
My heart raced, and my hand started to tremble. “Great; she’ll be so happy,” I sighed.
“What about you, will you be happy to see me?” he asked, again playfully and a little flirty.
I forced the giggle trying to escape back down my throat. He made me giddy, just like when we were in high school. I loved the feeling.
“Of course,” I replied, smiling so wide my face hurt.
“Okay then, I’ll pick you ladies up,” he offered.
I hesitated. I wasn’t sure I was ready to deal with the stares from the town with us riding together. It would be like a date, like a family outing. I wanted it so badly, but I was afraid of what people would say, how they would look at us.
“I-uh,” I stuttered.
“What time should I be there?” he asked, ignoring the obvious struggle I was having.
“Five,” I said quickly, deciding that Holly’s happiness was more important than my pride. My happiness was more important than my own pride.
“I’ll see ya then,” he said and hung up.
Holy shit, I have a date with Liam. I think. Is it a date?
Friday at five rolled around, and I watched out the front door for Liam’s truck. Holly was dressed in her white dress shirt and blue skirt, and her blonde hair was tightly bound in two ponytails.
I was thankful that Maria offered to meet us there, saving seats, instead of riding along. I couldn’t imagine anything more awkward than having my mother crammed into Liam’s truck with us.
“He’s here,” I warned Holly, who was in her room practicing her song.
Her voice was beautiful, like that of an angel. I may have been prejudiced, but others had said the same thing when she sang in church.
This would be her first solo, and I couldn’t have been happier that her dad was here to watch her.
Holly snuck up behind me, grabbing me around the waist with a hug.
“You look very pretty, Mom,” she said sweetly.
I’d spent over three hours trying to get ready. I changed a couple dozen times, each time thinking my outfit was either too nice, making the town talk, or not nice enough to impress Liam.
I’d finally decided on a blue dress, one that was low cut, but not so much it looked like I was going out to a club. It was respectful but still sexy. But now that Liam was in my driveway, I was rethinking my choice. I should’ve just wore jeans and a nice shirt. I looked like I was trying too hard.
“Look at the two most beautiful ladies in the town,” Liam boasted as he met us on the front porch.
I locked the door and avoided eye contact with Liam, fearful that my pink cheeks would be obvious, and walked to the truck with Holly.
Liam opened the passenger door, helping Holly slide into the cab, and then offered his hand to me.
“You look amazing,” he smiled.
It was that same compliment from the first night he picked Holly up. His words still made me tingle everywhere.
“Thanks, you do too,” I returned the compliment.
<
br /> Holly grinned from ear to ear, obviously happy that we were getting along. I wondered how she would feel with Liam and I getting together. I didn’t want to upset her or stifle their new relationship.
Holly talked excessively as we drove the short distance to the school. She offered up a sample of her song, impressing both Liam and myself.
We arrived at the school early so Holly could go to the classroom to meet the rest of the choir. Maria waved her hand in the air for us to come towards her and the saved seats.
She must’ve gotten there first, collecting seats front and center.
“You didn’t tell me she was going to be here,” Liam whispered in my ear as we moved towards her.
“Be thankful she didn’t ride with us,” I snickered, taking the seat right next to my mother.
The show was impressive but short. Holly sang her solo, making Maria cry and rendering Liam speechless.
The lights turned on, and people all around us stared, offering up glares, snickers, smiles, and head nods, as well as a few shakes. What was it any of their business anyway what I did?
“You hungry?” Liam asked, placing his hand on my lower back as we made our way through the aisle.
“I am,” I admitted.
“Would you like to come to dinner with us?” he asked my mom, who actually smiled and declined politely.
She’d been on her best behavior all night, not one single glare towards Liam. He had to realize something was up, that I’d talked to her about us.
“Daddy, Daddy, did you hear me?” Holly gushed, rushing towards her father with open arms.
He lifted her from her feet, spun her around so her skirt flared out, and then sat her back on her feet.
“You were amazing, like an angel,” he boasted.
His pride was obvious as his smile widened on his face.
“We’re gonna go get some food; you hungry?” Liam asked Holly, who quickly nodded.
I asked my mom again if she’d like to go, but she just smiled and shook her head.
The stares were making me uncomfortable, and I wanted to yell out to everyone to mind their own business, but I knew that would only make it worse.
We made our way to the truck and listened to Holly as her excitement grew about her solo all the way to the diner.
The diner was starting to get really busy as more and more people from the school headed that way. It wasn’t the only place to eat in town, but it was the best.
Liam secured us a booth in the back, Holly pressed up against his side, leaving me the seat across from them alone.
Holly was absolutely gushing over her father, over having both her mother and father together for her first solo. It was nice to see her happy, and soon, all the stares, the whispers, and the glares disappeared; all I could see was her glowing smile.
“I’m gonna go pick out a dessert,” Holly announced, sliding from her seat.
I watched as she rushed to the dessert display, where she could watch all the options spin slowly behind the glass. It was a ritual, something we’d done since she was little. Pick out your dessert first, so you know how much of a meal to order. What is life, after all, if you miss dessert?
“Okay,” I whispered to Liam, who was watching Holly with proud eyes.
“Okay?” he asked, turning to me with a confused expression.
“I think we should give this a shot,” I announced.
“Seriously? Are you serious?” he roared, loud enough to bring a lot of unwanted attention to our table.
“Shhh,” I scorned with a finger to my lips.
“Sorry, I’m just so happy,” he gushed, reaching across the table, placing his hand over mine.
I knew people were watching, and I still didn’t like it. But I loved his warm touch and the intimacy I felt when with him, even with the glaring nosey townspeople.
“I think we should take it slow though,” I insisted.
“We can do whatever you want,” he grinned as wide as Holly.
Chapter Twenty-One
Liam
Four days after Alyssa said we could give ‘us’ a shot, we finally had a date lined up. It would be our first official date, without Holly, without Maria, and thanks to the reservation I’d made, without the town staring at us.
I was nervous like a high-school kid. I’d applied deodorant three times already, and within minutes after each time, I’d sweat it away.
Every shirt I tried on, I ripped off seconds later, deeming it not ‘good enough’ for our date, for Alyssa.
Finally, I pulled a dress shirt from its hanger, one of the few that weren’t already on my closet floor. It was blue, a close match to my eyes, and Alyssa always told me how she loved the color of them. This was the shirt.
I slid into the shirt, buttoned it up with the exception of the top two, and sat down on the edge of my bed. My palms were sweating. I felt like I was going to throw up. Why was this so hard?
I picked up my phone, dialed Aiden, and took a deep breath while I waited on him to answer. I needed help, at least to calm down, otherwise this night would be a disaster.
“Hello,” Aiden’s voice sounded winded.
“Hey, man, did I catch ya at a bad time?” I asked, hoping he’d say no, even if I did.
“No, I’ve got a few minutes, what’s up?” he asked.
“Not much, just sitting here stressing out like a damn kid on his first date,” I chuckled nervously.
Aiden laughed, and then I could hear him let out a deep sigh.
“It’s Alyssa; what do you have to be worried about?” he asked.
“It’s Alyssa,” I emphasized.
“Quit being a baby,” Aiden teased.
“Dude, I’m sweating like a virgin in a whore house,” I chuckled.
“Where are you taking her?” he asked calmly.
“Out of town, by the lake, it’s a new steakhouse that just opened,” I replied.
“That’s perfect. It sounds like a romantic night, and it’s not like there isn’t chemistry between ya both already,” Aiden chuckled.
“That’s part of the problem. I don’t want to mess this up, possibly go too fast again, and have her run off,” I explained.
“Good point. Let her make the first move,” he advised.
I didn’t want to divulge too much about our last two encounters, out of respect for Alyssa, but she had made the first move both times before.
“Yeah, I can do that,” I sighed.
“I bet Holly’s over the moon,” Aiden crooned.
“Alyssa made me promise not to tell her,” I grumbled.
Having her around all weekend, helping with the rest of the carnival props and decorations was brutal. I wanted to tell her, but I swore to Alyssa that I wouldn’t.
“She’ll know after tonight, right?” Aiden questioned.
“I suppose so. I mean, I’m picking Alyssa up at her mom's, and I assume that’s where Holly is staying the night,” I questioned.
“You have Holly rooting for ya, me, and hell, probably the entire town. Everything will be fine; just have fun,” Aiden rushed.
It was obvious he was busy. I could hear people talking around him, asking questions, and trying to get his attention. I knew he was probably on the job site, working late. I hated that I bothered him, but I did feel better. He was right. It was Alyssa, so what did I have to be worried about?
I hung up the phone, checked my reflection in the mirror one last time, and then headed out the front door.
I’d already cleaned my truck, sprayed it with air freshener, and bought new floor mats in hopes to impress Alyssa.
I wished the drive to Maria’s house was longer, so I’d have more time to gather myself, but within a few minutes, I was pulling up in front of the small yellow house where Alyssa grew up.
“Daddy!” Holly yelled, pushing through the front door and running in my direction.
I slammed the truck door, opened my arms, and lifted Holly into the air, spinning her around twice before se
tting her down.
“You smell good,” Holly smirked.
“It’s not too much?” I asked nervously.
Holly laughed. Wow, her laugh was so much like mine. She tossed her head back, flipped her long blonde hair from her shoulder, and stood in front of me with her hand on her hip.
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me,” she shook her head.
“I promised I wouldn’t,” I pleaded, hoping she wasn’t mad.
Her tight lips loosened, and a smile crept up on her face.
“It’s okay. So, where are you going?” she gushed.
“Out of town to a new place,” I smiled.
“Good idea. I’m so tired of listening to her whine about people staring at her,” she giggled and then made a face.
I looked past my daughter, onto the front porch where Maria stood.
“Holly, come inside,” she ordered.
Holly wrinkled her nose in my direction and then ran into the house. Maria stayed on the porch as I approached, her demeanor stiff, hard to read. Was she pissed?
“I expect your intentions are solid,” Maria said with conviction.
“Yes, ma’am,” I replied, feeling more and more like a high school kid on his first date.
“Mom, leave him alone,” Alyssa appeared through the door.
She was stunning. My eyes fixated on hers, so dark, so warm. Her black hair curled loosely, flowing past her shoulders, which were bare, except for the delicate straps holding up her black dress.
“You’re gorgeous,” I gushed, suddenly unaware of Maria’s presence.
“You look pretty good yourself,” Alyssa smiled, a hint of pink showing up on her cheeks.
My heart raced as I reached for Alyssa’s hand. I guided her from the porch, away from her mother, and down the steps to the sidewalk. Holly ran out of the door, quickly wrapping her arms around my waist before Maria could demand she go back inside.
I leaned down, kissed her on the cheek, and whispered, “I love you,” in her ear.
“I love you, too,” she grinned, her voice boisterous and filled with happiness.
I opened the passenger door, helped Alyssa inside, and then walked to the driver’s side, taking a deep breath to relax before opening it and climbing inside.
“The truck looks great,” Alyssa noticed.
