His Cowboy Heart

by Jennifer Ryan

  “He can try.”

  They laughed together as they got out of the truck. Ford waved to Grandpa Sammy and Ruth and headed for the group standing by the arena with Luna. Before they got too close, Jamie pulled him to a stop and handed him back her ring.

  “Tuck that in your pocket again. I don’t want to lose it. Plus, I want to keep it a surprise for tonight when we tell everyone.”

  Jamie gave him a quick kiss then rushed over to meet Trinity McGrath. Trinity gave her a quick hug. They’d become fast friends at their lunch yesterday, where they’d discussed the somber man leaning against the big black Ford truck with his arms crossed over his wide chest, his cane propped against his thigh.

  “Thank you for doing this. He’s pissed we made him come today. He thinks we’re selling his favorite horse. He’s got no idea why we’re really here.”

  “Got it. Step back and give us some space when I come back. I need to get something.” Jamie ran over to Colt, who waited for her next to the arena holding the ten-week-old Australian shepherd. Like her, Drake had forsaken all his friends and barely tolerated his siblings. He needed a friend. She had one that required his constant attention and would give him the unconditional love he desperately needed. It had worked for her. Zoey had helped save her life. She hoped the puppy helped Drake, too.

  She took the pup and kissed Colt’s cheek hello. “Thanks.”

  “You’ve got this,” Colt encouraged.

  When Dr. Porter had asked for her help, she hadn’t known what she could offer, but as she thought about the things that got through all the haze in her mind, she formed a plan to help Drake. She could add the one thing that might have helped her: talking to someone who’d been there, done that, and had the scars to prove it.

  Declan and Tate McGrath unloaded Drake’s favorite horse and saddled him. He stood waiting, tied to the fence. Drake eyed her coming his way, then turned so she only saw the side of his face that hadn’t been sliced open by shrapnel and stitched back together. Yeah, she got that. She’d tried to hide her scars for a long time. They still bothered her sometimes when people stared, but mostly because she didn’t want to talk about where they’d come from. Drake didn’t want to talk at all. In fact, he spent most of his sessions with Dr. Porter in complete silence. But he kept every appointment. Like Ford had once told her, she’d gotten lost in that dark place, but she hadn’t lost all hope because she’d kept all those appointments.

  All she could do was hand Drake a lifeline and hope he grabbed on. She had the strength to hold on and pull him out, thanks to the hard work she’d put in to save herself. Thanks to Ford’s love and support.

  She walked up to Drake and shoved the puppy into his chest. “Here. Hold this.” She didn’t wait for a reply. He instinctively grabbed the dog, so she let go and walked over to Luna and gave her a hug. “Are we all set?”

  “Everything you requested.” Luna leaned in to Jamie’s ear. “Good luck.”

  Jamie turned back to Drake. “You need to think of a name for him.”

  “Why?”

  “Because he doesn’t have one.” She turned away again and held her hand out to Declan. “It’s nice to meet you. Your sister talks about you guys like you’re a pack of wolves.”

  Declan shook her hand and nodded. “That’s about right. Wild and fiercely loyal to the pack.” Declan’s gaze darted to Drake and back to her.

  “I’m Tate.” He shook her hand. “You sure you’re up for this?”

  “There’s no way you’re selling Thor to her,” Drake snapped. “She can’t handle him.”

  Jamie hid a smile. “Did you think of a name for your dog yet?”

  “He’s not my dog.”

  “Yes, he is, and he needs a name.”

  “Who the hell are you to tell me what’s mine and what I need to do?”

  Jamie walked up to him and stood two feet away, her gaze locked with his menacing one. She held out her hand. “Sergeant Jamie Keller. US Army, recently medically discharged. Dr. Porter asked me to meet you. I’m your new best friend.”

  He did not take her hand. “The hell you are. I’m out of here.” He brushed past her, using his cane to support his injured leg, and headed back to the truck his family now blocked. All three of them stood with their arms crossed, their backs against the side, blocking the doors. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. You guys set this up?”

  Trinity closed the distance to Drake and put her hand on his arm. He jerked away, upsetting the puppy in his arms. He settled the pup with a scratch to the belly and held him closer without even thinking about it.

  Jamie wanted to smile in triumph.

  “Please, Drake. Talk to her. She was a soldier. She knows what you’re going through.”

  “No one knows what I’m going through,” he barked. The puppy yapped at Trinity in his defense. Drake glanced down at the dog and frowned.

  “You and I are going to go for a ride and talk about it,” Jamie ordered, hoping he responded to something familiar.

  He turned to her and shoved the dog against her chest. Unlike him, she didn’t make a grab for the dog and kept her hands at her sides.

  “Take it back.”

  “If you drop that puppy, I will deck you. If you don’t get your hand off my breasts, he,” she cocked her head toward Ford, who moved in beside her, “is going to fuck you up. Now, you may want a good fight, but you’re in no condition to take him on. I know it. He knows it, but doesn’t care because you’re touching me. And you know it.”

  Drake pulled the dog back and glared at her even harder, but didn’t once acknowledge Ford, who moved to stand with Drake’s brothers.

  “Listen, Drake, I’m not here to make your life harder than it already is. I’m here because Dr. Porter knows my story. He knows yours. He thought maybe I could help you because I know what it feels like to hold a gun and think, ‘I can make it all go away.’ I have been there. And now I’m here. I can help you get here. All I’m asking is that you go for a ride with me and give me a chance. What do you have to lose? If nothing else, do it for your family.”

  Jamie wasn’t intimidated by the feral look on Drake’s face. She’d been that angry and disillusioned once. Twice. A lot.

  “Look, you’re here.”

  “I didn’t have a choice.” He cocked his head toward his sister and two brothers.

  One of Luna’s best students ran up to her side. “This is Billy. He’s my helper.”

  Drake stared down with ominous eyes at Billy’s wide grin and excited eyes.

  “You’re really big.” Billy’s eyes filled with awe.

  At six-two and about two-twenty, the guy rippled with muscles. The scars on his face and neck made him look dangerous and mean, but they didn’t intimidate Billy.

  “You’re a runt,” Drake snapped, obviously aggravated he’d been dragged here.

  “I’ll get bigger.” Billy’s positive attitude made Drake glare even harder at the little boy.

  “What the hell am I doing here with a kid and you and a puppy?”

  “Therapy,” Billy answered. “It sounds bad, but it’s not. Jamie is really good at it.”

  Drake eyed her. “Really? You’re a shrink, too?”

  “No. This is an equine therapy program.”

  “I don’t want to talk and I can’t ride.” The bitterness in his words tore at Jamie’s heart, but she got it.

  “I admit it won’t be easy, but you can do it.”

  “No, I can’t.”

  “I couldn’t do lots of things after I got hurt, but now I can. It takes time. And a lot of hard work that hurts sometimes.” Billy smiled up at Drake, trying so hard to get Drake to like him.

  “How would you know, kid?”

  Billy looked up at her. “He thinks I’m normal.”

  “Well, he can’t see your scars.”

  “His are all over his face.” Billy pointed out the obvious.

  “They don’t bother me, kid.”

  Jamie wanted to cry foul, be
cause they bothered Drake a lot. He did everything but turn his back to keep them from seeing the healing gashes.

  “It’s the ones on my leg and back that have left me broken.”

  “Damaged isn’t broken. Damage can be fixed.” Billy repeated the phrase she lived by and taught the people who came here. It was a lesson that took time to learn when you were in a bad place. Drake was in a very bad place.

  “You don’t know anything, kid.”

  “Can I show him?” Billy asked her.

  “He does seem to think he’s the only one with scars.”

  “That tiny thing on your face,” he nodded to the slash mark across her chin and jaw, “is nothing compared to what happened to me.” Drake traced the wide gash down the left side of his face.

  Billy pulled his arm out of his sleeve and showed Drake the scars over his shoulder and down the back of his upper arm. “See? I got some, too. I couldn’t use my arm at all when I started coming here. But I did my physical therapy and now I can raise my arm and close my hand into a fist.” Billy showed Drake with a triumphant smile on his face.

  “That’s really great, kid.” Drake softened his voice to match the words, reluctantly praising the boy.

  “Billy got that in the car crash that killed his parents.”

  Drake swore under his breath and sighed heavily. “Tough break, buddy.”

  “Yeah. I was sad for a long time.”

  Drake nodded, most likely knowing exactly how Billy felt during that dark time in his life.

  “Billy, give me a minute.”

  Billy scurried off to join Luna with another little boy petting one of the horses.

  “I got this,” she traced the scar along her jaw, “from flying shrapnel after an RPG hit my truck and exploded. My friend saved me from nearly burning to death.” She turned and pulled her shirt up to show the scars all over her back and neck. She pulled her shirt down, then turned back to him. “Then that same man I called friend, shot me here.” She pulled the front of her shirt up to show him the scar on her side. “And here.” She showed him the one on her chest. “And here.” She pointed to her jean-covered thigh.

  “Someone should shoot his ass dead.”

  “Someone did.”

  Drake nodded. “Your friend got what he deserved.”

  He had, but it didn’t make it any easier.

  “What is the point of all this show-and-tell?”

  “You are not the only one bad things happened to over there. Bad things happen here, too.”

  “You have no idea what happened to me over there.”

  “You’re right. But I’m a soldier just like you, and I can relate. I’m willing to listen.”

  “I told you I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “I didn’t want to talk about what happened to me either. I wanted to forget. The harder I tried to forget, the worse things got for me. But you know what? I’m a fighter. You’re a fighter, too.”

  “Is this where you tell me that everything is going to be all right?” The cynicism in his voice grated, but she kept her patience.

  She pointed to Grandpa Sammy rocking on the porch with Ruth. “Do you see that man, there?”

  “I’m not blind.”

  “He’s a vet. Like you. Like me. When I was in a very dark place, he said something to me that I think you need to hear. You have seen terrible things. You have done terrible things. Terrible things have been done to you. But you are not the terrible thing.” She gave him a moment to absorb her words. “So get your ass up on that horse. We’re going for a ride, and we are going to talk.”

  “That’s what you think.”

  “That’s what I know, because I was in the exact same place a year ago that you’re in right now. I know how dark those bad days are and how fleeting the good ones seem if they even happen at all. I also know what it feels like to wake up one day and realize I have so much to live for, and I want to live.” She cocked her head toward his siblings. “That’s a lot to live for, a hell of a lot more than I had when I came home. They want you to be well. Deep down, you want to be better. So let’s go. Unless you want to be shown up by a nine-year-old.”

  Billy was up on his horse, riding around the corral next to them.

  Drake didn’t move to mount the huge horse beside him. He stared off into the distance, anger and regret and fear in his eyes.

  “It takes a hell of a lot of strength to ask for help,” she coaxed.

  “Can I get a leg up?” He bit the words out through the teeth he grinded. Asking for help was obviously not in his repertoire.

  Without a word, she waved Trinity over to take the puppy. Jamie dropped into a lunge, letting him put his foot on her thigh, much lower than the stirrup he couldn’t reach with his foot with the injuries to his hip and leg. She grabbed hold of his ankle and calf to stabilize him. He dropped his cane, grabbed the pommel and the saddle, and hoisted himself up, swinging his other leg over the saddle as she lifted him by his leg. The grimace on his face and a muffled curse and groan of pain told her how much it hurt him to move.

  He settled into the saddle and stuffed his feet into the stirrups.

  “How’s it feel?”

  It took a second for him to answer through the pain he had to fight to control. “Like visiting an old friend.”

  “Get used to it. You and I are going to spend a lot of time together.”

  “You’re very sure of yourself.”

  “For a while I wasn’t, but I had a tough-lovin’ cowboy to set me straight. You have me.” She gave him a sugary sweet smile to annoy him.

  “Really?” His eyebrow shot up.

  “You really want to take him on?” She nodded toward Ford, who touched his hat and smiled at her.

  “He’s definitely the possessive kind.”

  “No, he’s the ‘don’t touch my future wife’ kind.”

  Despite the sadness, hurt, anger, and regret in his eyes, he mumbled, “Congrats.”

  “Thanks, you’re the first to know.” She smiled up at him again. “See? We’re sharing already.”

  Drake grunted and shook his head. “You got lucky.” He was referring to her finding Ford.

  “Yes, I did. Grandpa Sammy got lucky and found someone special while he was in the hospital. If you stopped snarling at all the pretty nurses and physical therapists your sister told me flirt with you at the rehab center, you might get lucky, too.”

  “Look at me. That’s never going to happen.”

  “I thought the same thing. But that cowboy over there doesn’t see my scars. He sees me. Sounds like you’ve got a lot of people who see past the scars to who you really are, and the guy they remember you used to be.”

  “He’s dead.”

  “He’s still a part of who you are now. You can get back to being the best of him and the best of the you, you are now.”

  “Still won’t change the fact that when she sees what happened to me, she’ll run screaming for the hills.”

  “She?”

  Drake raised his gaze to the sky. “Fuck me. Don’t go there.”

  Ford led a horse over to her. She took the reins and mounted. “That’s not love, Drake.”

  “That’s not in the cards. I just want to be left alone.”

  “Oh God, how many times did I hear that?” Ford complained.

  “I know. He sounds just like me, doesn’t he?” Jamie leaned down from her horse and kissed Ford.

  “He’s seen your back. Keep your clothes on now,” Ford ordered.

  “I will. You can take them off me again later.”

  Ford winked. “Yes, ma’am.”

  “We’re out of here.” Jamie kicked her mount to walk down the lane.

  Drake followed her, mostly because his horse wanted to follow her mare. Billy waved from inside the arena where he worked with Luna and her brother, Trent.

  “I’m not taking that dog home,” Drake called to her.

  “Yes you are.”

  Jamie stood beside Ford on the steps a
t the back of the house overlooking the patio and all the tables that had been set up for the barbeque. Ford whistled over the crowd to get everyone’s attention. They all turned to him expectantly. “A year ago today, my one and only wish came true and Jamie came back into my life. We got a rare second chance. Today, Jamie agreed to marry me and be my wife.”

  Ford kissed Jamie as their family and friends cheered them on.

  He turned to his grandfather. “You got what you wanted. All three of your grandsons will be happily married. I’m working on your third great-grandbaby, but it may take some practice before we get it done.”

  Everyone cheered again. Several rude comments came from his brothers. Jamie blushed beside him.

  Grandpa Sammy stood and held Ruth’s hand in his. “You’re going to have to wait your turn, Ford. I’m old and not inclined to wait for the things I want, so Ruth and I have decided to get married next month in a small ceremony at the ranch. Love is too precious to waste, too good to let go, and too wonderful not to enjoy.”

  “Hear, hear,” Ford said, lifting his glass in a toast with everyone else. He clinked his glass with Jamie’s and hugged her close. He had her. They had each other. They had love. They’d never let go and would spend the rest of their lives enjoying it.

  Epilogue

  Ford hooked his finger in his shirt collar and tugged, uncomfortable in the monkey suit, but happy to wear the black tux for Jamie on their big day. He’d thought she’d take months to plan the wedding, despite her many assurances that all she wanted was a simple ceremony and luncheon with their family and friends. He should have taken her at her word. Between her, Sadie, Luna, and Grandpa Sammy’s new bride, Ruth, they’d put everything together in just short of two months.

  He didn’t care about the details. He just wanted his bride. But he had to admit the red and white flower arrangements and dark-blue-covered tables stacked with white dishes and crystal glasses looked amazing. Colt and Luna’s backyard garden shaded by huge trees and blooming with flowers in every color turned out to be the perfect spot to tie the knot.

  This reminded him so much of Colt and Luna’s wedding last year. They were happy, living their lives on the ranch and expecting a baby. Ford wanted the same for himself and Jamie. In a few minutes, she’d be his wife. Someday, he hoped sooner rather than later, their child would play with his two older cousins. He really couldn’t wait.