“Then come with me.” He took my hand, his gentle touch littered with hope. “You could finish school, go to uni and become a teacher like you always planned?”
“Mike?”
“Please. Don’t say anything now. Not if you’re going to say no. Just…” He paused, blowing out a really deep breath. “Whatever you choose, I already decided I can’t go back—not without you.”
“What?”
One shoulder lifted toward his chin in a very timid shrug. “If you stay, I stay.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
The little fold between my brows tightened. “But what about your career?”
“Ara, you are the love of my life.” Mike took both my hands, knocking the toast out of them. “What would my career mean to me if I didn’t have you? God, I only accepted that interview because I thought I’d lost you.”
“Lost me?”
“When you moved away—when you refused to even speak to me—I figured you hated me. And… I don’t know, I guess I decided that if I didn’t have you to look after, I’d be a perfect candidate to risk my own life, because it’d be worth nothing.”
“Mike? What a horrid thing to say.”
“I know. I’m sorry. It wasn’t like a suicide mission or anything. But, I could’ve joined Tactical six months ago. I chose not to because I didn’t want to leave you alone if anything ever happened to me.” Mike’s eyes softened as they scanned my cheeks and my lips. “When you told me you fell in love with David, I died inside, Ara. I thought everything was lost. So if I have to give up Tactical to stay here and be with you for the rest of my life, it doesn’t even need a second thought. All I ever wanted was you.”
“So you’d move here? Throw it all away? What would you do for a job?” my voice of reason challenged.
“I’ll be fine. I used to be a part-time chef, remember? I can get work anywhere.”
“But you’d need a working visa.”
“Or”—he bit his bottom lip and looked into me with those charming, caramel-colored eyes, melting my heart like maple syrup on pancakes—“we could get married. You’re an American citizen now, right?” His tone softened on the end into a shrug of his shoulder.
“So that’s all I am to you? A ticket to work in the US.”
“Oh, come on, Ara.” Open fingertips feathered his hair back in an awkward but sexy gesture. “I was using it as a line to open that door. I’ve bloody been trying to cough out a proposal since the first day I got here.”
My tonsils dropped down into my neck. “What!”
“What did you expect? I’ve loved you my whole life.”
“But… we’re so young still.”
“I know. But you’re also amazing, Ara. And if I don’t put a ring on you, reserve the right to have you forever, someone else will. We don’t have to get married right away, but it was always my intention to at least let my intentions be known,” he said, giving an awkward grin.
“I… I… Why didn’t you just ask me that day you told me how you feel?”
“Because you would’ve said no.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Ara, you cried when I told how you how I feel. I was devastated and humiliated. If I’d told you I want to marry you one day, you’d probably have imploded on me.”
“You were humiliated?”
“You know me, Ar. I uh… I don’t take rejection as well as I’d like to think I do.” We both laughed softly. Then, he shuffled closer, and the serious Mike I’d come to know more recently slipped into place. “All I’ve been waiting on is you: for you to realize you love me. And then, that night back home, when I ruined everything…”
I looked away, feeling the pain of loss etching into my heart.
Mike hooked a finger under my chin and pulled my face toward his. His lips were so close I could smell the peanut butter on his breath. It smelled nice. Comforting.
“You took me by surprise, Ara. It was all I’d ever wanted, you know. I’d imagined it so many times, and when it finally happened, I acted like a damn fool. And I lost you. I had to accept that you were being dragged away from me; had to accept that you wouldn’t even speak to me and then, worse, had to break apart hearing you speak about loving another guy. Do you know how hard it was for me to play the supporting friend, when all I wanted to do was coax you into believing he didn’t want you?”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Because I love you.” He squeezed my hands. “I wanted you to be happy, and you sounded happy with him. But… now… I’m glad he’s gone, because all I’ve seen so far is the damage he’s done to you.”
I rubbed my hand over my neck. “It wasn’t like that, you know. He loved me.”
Mike nodded. “I know.”
“Do you?” I asked conceitedly.
“Yes, I do. And I guess, now is probably a good time to tell you something.” He scratched his brow.
“Mike, what did you do?”
His shoulders dropped. “I stole David’s number from your phone and I called him.”
“What? Why?”
“Come on, Ara. Why do you think? I’m not stupid. I’ve watched you pretending to be happy, but I knew there was something up with you. I’ve known you all your life. I knew he was hurting you. And I was afraid he might be one of those controlling types, you know? The kind that makes you feel like you need him to feel good about yourself.”
“Mike? He’s so not like—”
“I know.” He smiled and flattened my frown with his thumb. “He’s a decent guy, Ara—physical damage aside.”
“So, when you talked to him,” I asked delicately, “like, what… what did he say?”
“He told me he’s leaving and that you couldn’t be together. He told me you wanted a family one day and a normal life, but he couldn’t give you that.”
“So”—his words echoed in my mind—“he… what, he told you to have me?”
“It wasn’t like that, Ar.” Mike cocked his head. “He just said he knows I’ll make you happy, and that’s all he ever wanted for you.”
David gave me away?
“Please don’t be mad, Ara.”
Mad? I wasn’t mad that he called David. I felt hurt that he knew everything, and embarrassed, but it wasn’t Mike’s fault. It was so like him to do this. He was my protector, he always had been. My best friend. My Zorro.
“I’m not mad at you, Mike.”
“Well, don’t be mad at David, either. He just wants you to have a… a normal life.”
“And you think you can give me that?”
“Ara, I’ll give you everything. I’ll be whatever you want me to be. I’ll be a husband, a father to our children, a provider, a protector, but most of all, if you say you’ll marry me, I will love you—more than anyone has ever been loved in the history of mankind, and I will devote every breath I take to being the best husband you could ever have.”
“But what about what you want, Mike? I don’t want you to be what I want. I want you to be happy, too. I mean, do you even want children?” We’d never discussed that. Mike was good with kids, he always adored Harry, but never spoke of wanting a family.
He took a breath, lifting his shoulders as he did. “All I ever wanted was you—a thousand times over and every day for the rest of my existence. I’ve never really thought about kids before.”
I nodded, looking down at my fingers.
“But…” His gaze settled on my belly, lost in a smile.
“But?” I said.
“If I could place a piece of myself inside of you and”—he lifted my top and traced little circles around my navel—“that would grow and become a life that’s a part of you and me combined, I can’t imagine something more magical. So, yes.” He broke eye contact for a second and reached into his nightstand, closing the drawer with his pinkie after. “I want to have babies with you. I want a hundred little dark-haired, blue-eyed babies running around. And you and me? We’ll be together. Always. That’s wh
at I want.”
The breath I finally released quivered its way out.
“Please?” Mike slipped off the bed and knelt in front of me, lifting the lid just a fraction on a small purple box. “Make me the happiest man on the planet, Ara. Marry me.”
Every flower that once was dead bloomed within my heart, and the ashes of my soul circled in on the breeze, showing me how to breathe again. I looked into the small box and a red blossom shimmered back: a ruby rose, with two emeralds on either side. A promise in the shape of life, bright as the color of blood; a color so exquisite in the shadowed parts of my broken past that it cast a spotlight on the door to a future I thought was gone—a door that opened by the key of one word.
“Yes,” I whispered so quietly that Mike’s eyes focused on my lips.
“Did you just say yes?”
“Yes. I… yeah, I did.” I could feel the light sparkling off my tears.
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, seriously.”
Mike laughed, his shaky fingers removing the ring from the box and holding it to the tip of my nail. “I… I have a speech.”
“A speech?”
His cheeks and forehead went pink. “Yeah, I uh… I kinda planned this for a while.”
I shrugged, smiling widely, and rolled my legs over the side of the bed to sit up. “Let’s hear it then.”
He cleared the awkwardness from the back of his throat, holding my fingers firmly, almost unintentionally too tight. “I designed this for you, because any other stone, any other ring would never have been perfect enough to tell you how much I love you; how you’re a part of everything I am, and how no matter what I see in the world, I will never see anything that is quite as bright and perfect and sparkling as you. You’re my girl.” He pointed to the ruby stone. “My beautiful rose.”
The ring slid perfectly into place on my finger, fitting like the way Mike fit me; like we were made to go together. I smoothed my fingertip around the gold, shaking my head. “It’s perfect, Mike.”
“I know.” The corners of his eyes softened and he grinned, running his fingers along my forearms, bringing them to rest just on the backs of my elbows. As I parted my legs and let him kneel between them, my confident, womanizing best friend became a little rigid; jittery, I suppose, with a kind of schoolboy awkwardness I’d never seen in him before.
“What’re you thinking, Mike?”
“Nothing,” he said, but his eyes held the smile of poorly concealed desires.
“Liar.”
He looked away. “Sorry. It’s just… I’ve never felt this way before. About anyone. Not like this. I just don’t know what to do with you.”
I pulled his face toward me and closed my eyes tight. He smelled so fresh and sexy, with a vibrant, musky cologne—mixed with the peanut butter. I just wanted to press my face into his neck and breathe him in. “You could start by kissing me.”
“I can’t. Not right now.”
“Why?”
“My knees are shaking, baby.” He laughed and looked down. “I’ve wanted this for too long. It’s taking everything in me right now not to throw you on the bed and tear off your clothes. If I kiss you, that’s exactly what’ll happen.”
“Then just shut up and kiss me.”
“No.” He shook his head, moving out from between my legs to sit beside me. “I’m twenty-one, you’re seventeen. It just doesn’t feel right.”
My mouth wouldn’t close. He just asked me to marry him, but I was too young for him to have sex with.
“Look, let’s at least wait until we’re married.”
“Oh, God.” I rolled my face into my hand. “Not you too.”
“What?”
“David forbid you to have sex with me, didn’t he?”
“What, no. Why would you think that?”
“This no sex before marriage rule—it seems to be a thing between you two?”
Mike grinned. “He… he refused you? You’re still a virgin?”
“Virgin?” My neck jutted forward with incredulity. “Yes, Mike. I already told you that—at the airport.”
“I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t believe you.” He rolled his hands out as he shrugged, looking ultimately innocent and sweet.
By the time my infuriation simmered and I looked over at him, he was shaking his head, smiling down at his lap.
“What?” I said.
“I always wanted to be your first.”
His glittering grin infected my scowl, making me smile. “Then let’s…”
“No way,” he cut in, knowing exactly what I was about to say. “You are the only girl left on this planet that still has her innocence. There is no way I’m taking that from you until we have officially tied the knot. We’re gonna do this the right way.”
“And what if I disagree?”
He sighed. “It’ll be your first time, Ara. Why not wait—just a bit. Wait ’til we’re back home in a place we both feel comfortable, so I can take my time with you.” His imagination spilled ideas across his face. “I want to enjoy the first time we get to be naked together; touch you slowly, kiss you in places I only ever dreamed of.”
I took a quivering breath and moved his hand closer to the apex of my thighs, keeping my fingers twined in his so it seemed like an innocent gesture. He caught on though, and pulled our hands back toward my knees.
“You’re really going to hold firm to this, aren’t you?” I said.
He nodded. “It’s not easy. But you’ll thank me one day.”
“Always the upstanding citizen.”
“I’ve done the bad boy thing, Ara, with a lot of girls,” he said, and we both laughed. “I never respected or loved any one of them, okay? But I love you, and out of respect for you, and for your father, I am not going to take your innocence when you’re seventeen, while I’m a guest in your dad’s house.”
I bit my teeth together and pulled my hand from his so I could fold my arms. “It’s not the end of the world if we make love, Mike. It’s not like you’re going to eat me alive.”
“You mean like the last guy who put his mouth on you?” Mike laughed.
I cupped my faded bruise. “That’s not funny.”
“Sorry.” He touched my face and turned it toward him. “That was in poor taste.”
I gave him a half smile. “Well, it was kind of funny.”
“It was kind of true, too. But my point still stands. No sex. Yet.” He winked at me. “But I am going to kiss you.”
“Okay,” I breathed.
Inch by inch, his face came closer to mine, his hot breath sweeping my chin. I swallowed, and moistened my lips, not daring to breathe in case my peanut butter breakfast was still on my breath. And the smile I gave when Mike tilted his head made him laugh just as our lips touched. Finally touched.
He was so warm, so solid, so real.
His stubble scratched against my chin while the air from his nose brushed over my upper lip, and it was perfect: gentle, loving—not wet or sloppy, like Emily described Spencer’s kiss.
He closed his lips around my tender pout, held there for just a second, then pulled slowly away, both of us breaking into a smile.
“Perfect,” he whispered.
I had to agree, but my body refused to move so I could tell him that.
He picked up my rigid hand and brushed his thumb over my ring. “Are you happy, Ara?”
“Mm-hm.” I reached for my locket, dropping my hand when I realized it wasn’t there. “I guess… I guess it just sunk in, you know? I’ve kind of been waiting for that kiss since before…”
He cupped my face, his sympathetic gaze easing my soul. “It’s all okay now, Ara. We’re gonna be fine. We’ll go home, we’ll get married, and everything will be okay again.”
I nodded, but my heart sunk, and I knew he felt the shift.
“What is it, baby?”
“I…” I looked at my ring. “Marrying you, I’m sure about—one day—but I don’t know if I’m ready to leave Dad, you know. He’s—
”
“He’s your dad.” Mike nodded. “I get it. We don’t have to think about that part yet, okay? We’ll figure all that out later.”
I nodded.
“Okay,” he said, then kissed my forehead. “Hey, I gotta go call my dad. He’s gonna be so happy I finally asked you.”
“Okay.” I smiled, sweeping a lingering tear from my eye as Mike leaped off the bed and headed for the door.
“Baby?” He barely got a step away before turning back and kneeling down in front of me again, taking my hand. “You. Have made me. The happiest man alive.”
I looked up from our hands and into his smile.
“I was sure I’d come here to say goodbye,” he confessed. “I was prepared to leave with a broken heart, but instead, I’ll be bringing yours home with me.”
I smiled, even though one part of that story was wrong: I didn’t want to go back to Perth. I wanted to stay here.
As Mike stood up again and walked away, I twisted the ring around on my finger. It was so delicate that if I knocked it the wrong way I was sure it’d break.
Mike popped his head around the corner then, phone in hand. “Dad says it’s about time.”
I grinned at him.
“Yes, Dad. I did.” He turned away again. “No. Well, I need to be home next week, but we haven’t told Ara’s dad yet.”
My smile dropped when Mike disappeared down the hall, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
What would my dad say? He’d make me wait until I turned eighteen—or twenty-one. I knew what my mom would’ve said: she’d be happy. Even though I was young. She would’ve been able to see that I loved him; she would’ve taken me shopping for a dress, and….
I let that thought slip away with the agony it brought.
What would David say? After all, he wanted this. He gave me away. He must’ve known when he told Mike to have me that this would happen.
I wondered where he was. If he was far away, working in New York, or maybe watching to see if I’d moved on. But though that was a sad thought, the next one was a happy one, because Mike’s deep, husky voice travelled down the hall and into my ears. I could lie all day and listen to him talking, especially knowing he’d come back in here after to see me, because I was his world.
Dark Secrets Box Set Page 55
