Dark Secrets Box Set

by Angela M Hudson

  “You okay?” Jason said.

  “Yeah, I’m just sure Petey can see up my skirt.”

  Petey groaned and flopped onto the ground, dropping his head heavily onto his paws, his eyes on the lake.

  Jason smiled down at the space between us—the whole two centimeters. “So, you trust me now?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t even know what I’m doing here. All I do know is that I hate you, Jason, but I—”

  “You don’t hate me,” he stated, smiling.

  “Uh, I think I’d know my own feelings.”

  “Nope,” he said smugly. “You want to hate me, but you don’t.”

  “And what makes you so sure?” I folded my arms, my cheeks burning with a touch of embarrassment.

  “I could tell you, but I’d have to kill you.” He paused. “Sorry, that was distasteful, given our past.”

  I looked sideways at him, and we both broke into a smile.

  “There. That’s better,” he said. “You’re so pretty when you smile.”

  “Okay, you saying that is even creepier than your dark humor.”

  “Who says my threat to kill you was dark humor?”

  I laughed into my lap, kind of hiding my smile from him.

  “So…” He bumped me softly with his elbow. “Mike hates you, huh?”

  “Yeah.” In the bright afternoon light surrounding us, I felt Jason’s gaze shadow me, and almost as if bending to his command, thoughts of Mike flashed in my frontal lobes. I couldn’t help but to let Jason in and show him everything, breaking to tears as I ran the whole story like a film.

  He looked at the lake, staying quiet until turning to me. “Is it okay if I comfort you?”

  My nose crinkled, my blood screaming an instant no. But I drew a breath and nodded, not really sure why I did it.

  “Now,” he said, his arm falling around me, “I want you to know something. Mike’s hurt because he’s tired of losing people he loves.”

  “I do understand that.”

  “I know.” Jason’s voice hummed deeply in his chest under my ear. “But, when he thought Emily was dead, he lost something—died himself, in a small way. He pushed you away just now because he’s scared of losing you too.”

  “I doubt Mike thinks that way. He’s just mad. Solidly mad.”

  “No, sweet girl, he’s afraid. Fear is the root of anger, don’t you know?”

  My posture slumped a little more against Jason’s chest. “What are you, a psychologist or something?”

  “Well…” he said slowly. “Let’s just say I may have been checking in on things since I bit Emily.”

  I rolled my face up to look at him. He smiled.

  “He doesn’t want to lose you, okay? That’s why he’s so mad at you.”

  “But now he has lost me. He hates me, said he’s leaving.”

  “He won’t leave.” Jason let out a short laugh.

  “How do you know?”

  He leaned back just a little to look down at me, tracing his thumb over my hairline. “Because he can’t. He’s yours, Ara—he always will be. Trust me, he won’t leave.”

  “Why did you do that to Emily?” I sat up from his arms. “Jason, you’ve destroyed her life. She can never die, she’ll never have children. Why would you do that?”

  “I can’t expect you to understand.”

  “Do you love her? Is that why?”

  “I—” He sighed, slouching like a teenage boy. “How is she?”

  “She’s a freakin’ vampire, Jason. How do you think she is?” I jumped off the rock and walked to the edge of the lake with my arms folded. “Mike won’t talk to her. He said she’s as good as dead to him now.” Like I was. I took a breath and let it out in one quick huff. “She stood up for you, you know?”

  “No. I didn’t know that.”

  I turned to face the rock, jumping internally when I nearly hit his chest instead.

  “What did she say?” he asked.

  “She said something bad must’ve happened to make you do what you did to me.”

  Jason’s troubled gaze fixed on the ground beside our feet. “For what it’s worth, I loved her once. And when she came to me yesterday, I—” He paused, tapping his tongue on the inside of his cheek. “I never meant to hurt her.”

  “But you got angry?”

  “No.”

  “You practically tore her throat out. You can’t say that was a calculated bite, Jason. I won’t believe it.”

  He tilted his head to one side, carefully reading my teary eyes, and a knowing smile moved across his lips. “You blame yourself for what happened to her.”

  “I—” I looked down. “I didn’t think that.”

  “Yes you did. Just… very deep down.” His mouth fell open a little. “It wasn’t your fault, Ara.”

  “Yes, it was. I shouldn’t have told her about you. But, worse—”

  “No. You have to stop this self-defeating behavior, girl. There are two people to blame for this, and that’s her”—he pressed his hand to his chest—“and me.”

  “But—”

  “No.” He slid both hands along my cheeks, resting his thumbs on my lips. “Stop saying that.”

  I tugged away, wiping the eerie crawl of his touch from my skin. “You just don’t get it. You can’t understand why I blame myself, because you’re a heartless vampire, Jason. I can’t expect you to empathize with me, so don’t try to give me advice or counsel my emotions. You have no idea what I—”

  “Heartless?” He almost laughed, looking down at his feet. “I’m far from heartless, Ara.”

  “And I’m far from innocent, Jason. What happened to Emily was my fault. I handled the situation wrong. I—”

  “Okay.” He stepped closer. “If you think, or say one more thing I don’t like, Ara, you’re going in the lake.”

  “You wouldn’t,” I challenged.

  “Try me.” He grinned.

  I shuffled my feet. The lake was barely an inch behind my heels; it’d take one shove and I’d be driving home saturated—again.

  “You know what?” He shook his head softly, his grin reaching for his ears. “I think I’ll do it anyway.”

  “No!” I squealed, digging my elbow into his chest as he swept me off the ground and held me close for a second, then launched us both into the icy pool. The world vanished for a moment under the murky brown before I burst through the cold surface, sweeping it off my face. “Uh, that’s freezing!”

  “Yes, I know.”

  “Why did you do that?” I screamed at him, splashing water in his direction. “I didn’t do anything to you!”

  He waded closer, laughing, and pinned my floundering hands to his chest. “You needed a wake-up call, Ara,” he said, and released them. “Not everything is your fault, and blaming yourself won’t take the pain away.”

  “What would you know?”

  “More than you might think, little girl.” He headed for the shore, leaving me behind.

  “I am not a little girl.” I stomped my foot under water.

  “Then act like a grown-up,” he called back.

  “Screw you.” I folded my arms and turned away.

  “Real mature.”

  “Like I care what you think.”

  He appeared suddenly in front of my face again, but it didn’t startle me this time. “Believe it or not, Ara-Rose, the world is not out to harm you, and there are a few insignificant people in it that happen to care for you and how you feel, whether you want them to, or not.”

  I backed away in unison with each of his advancing steps. “I hope you don’t class yourself as one of those people.”

  He stopped walking. “See? You already know the truth of that, or you wouldn’t have said it.”

  “You assume too much.” I turned away.

  He grabbed my arm to stop me. “Assumptions are not my weakness, Ara.”

  “No, violence is.” I shook his hand off.

  “No—love is.”

  Love. Pah! He stayed put as
I walked out of the water. “If you knew the meaning of love, you wouldn’t have bitten Emily.”

  “Really.” He stood beside me. “And if you knew what love was, you wouldn’t have a burning desire to give yourself to Mike.”

  I sank back on my heels, a colossal huff escaping my lips as I folded my arms.

  “Yeah, that’s right, isn’t it?” he said smugly. “That’s what all this is really about. Admit it, Ara. You don’t care that Emily’s a vampire; you don’t even care that I did it—you only care that Mike hates you and won’t give you what you want from him now.”

  “What I want from him? Like what?”

  “His love. Attention. Affection.” He came closer with each word.

  “What would you know about it? You don’t know me; you don’t have any idea what I want.”

  He smiled down at the water dripping from my skirt. “I’ve been watching you, Ara. You love him, and you shouldn’t. When you think about him, you get hot”—he moved closer—“in places you shouldn’t.”

  The air in my throat hardened. I shuffled my feet closer together. “That has nothing to do with you.”

  “But it does.” His breath touched my forehead, warm and sugary. “Because you get the same heat, the same racing in your chest, when I touch you.”

  The wind stopped, the day going dark and cold under a cloud above us, but my face burned, blood rising to the flesh under the brush of his fingertip down my cheek. I looked up into his enchanting green eyes. “I hope you’re not implying that I have feelings for you,” I managed to say.

  “No,” he said, casting a quick glance over his shoulder. “When it comes to you, the heart has nothing to do with sex.”

  “Sex?”

  “Not just sex, but… everything leading up to it.”

  “What are you saying?” I placed my hands on my hips.

  “I’m saying, you need touch. You’re not like other girls, Ara. There’s something about your soul that can’t survive without it.”

  “And that means I want sex?”

  “It means you find yourself in situations where that’s possible”—he edged closer, his fingertips stopping on the hem of my skirt—“even if it’s not what your heart wants.”

  “So…” I felt the vibration of his touch through the fabric. “I’m a slut that can’t control herself? Is that what you’re saying?”

  He laughed, his lovely fangs catching a glint of sunlight for a second. “Is that what you think you are, just because you feel the need to be held?”

  “No. It’s what you just said I am.”

  “I said no such thing.” His hand came forward fast, stealing mine. “But in all your words, Ara, not once have you denied such needs, and not once have you denied having them for me.”

  “I don’t need to defend myself against lies,” I said, but my shoulders quivered, my eyes shifting to one side as images of lust fluttered through my mind. I wasn’t sure if they were mine, or merely forced upon me by Jason’s own sick needs to make me think I loved him.

  “I’m not making you picture those, Ara, you’re doing that yourself.”

  “Why?” I asked, aiming my question at him, myself, and the Universe.

  Jason glanced over his shoulder again. “Will you meet me? Tonight?”

  “What?”

  “Meet me,” he added more hurriedly. “And I’ll tell you why you feel the way you do.”

  “Why would I do that?” Do I look crazy?

  “No, but you’ll meet me anyway.”

  “Forget it. There’s no way I’m—”

  “I’ll tell you why I bit Emily,” he offered.

  “I don’t care why you bit her. Your reasons don’t give you any cause to—”

  “Oh, come on, Ara. Of course you care why I bit her. And you’ll meet me tonight, because you’re intrigued by me. You want to know if it’s true—that I love you, and if maybe there is some small part of me that’s still salvageable.”

  Damn mind readers!

  “Tonight,” he said, looking at the forest trail again.

  “Where?”

  “In your dream. I’ll find you.”

  “What? Jason!” I called, but he disappeared, with Petey running through the thick brush after him.

  “Ara!” A voice echoed around the treetops, making my heart sink. “Ara!” he called again. I looked at the rock, gauging how long it would take me to run and hide behind it. “Ara, I know you’re out here, baby.”

  Baby? Baby? How could he call me that when, half an hour ago, he practically wanted me dead, or at the very least bludgeoned to unconsciousness? Okay, so maybe that’s a little severe. Wrapped in duct tape with a sock in my big fat gob might be closer to the truth.

  “Ara, please?” His voice was getting closer.

  To hide or stay? I looked at the rock again.

  “Oh, God! Ara.” Mike appeared on the cusp of the trail, running his hands though his hair as he folded over. “Baby, there you are. I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

  I felt a little ridiculous standing saturated and alone in the middle of the clearing. I kinda wished I’d chosen the hide option. “Why were you looking for me?”

  “Would falling to my knees right now be the right way to tell you how sorry I am?” He came up in front of me quickly, keeping to the pace he’d obviously used while searching. “Baby, I—I don’t even know what to say. I just…” He stopped mid-sentence when I shirked away from his touch, and realization spread out like a blanket of shame over him. “I know I scared you, baby. Quite frankly, I bloody scared myself.” He ran his palm over his face and looked around at the lake, all its beauty. “I don’t know what happened. I could see it all happening, but couldn’t stop it. I just. I don’t even know what I can say. Sorry doesn’t even begin to touch what I feel. I… if I were someone else, I’d punch me in the face for what I just did to you.”

  I let myself smile, imagining it. “I could punch you?”

  He opened his arms, his chest sinking a little. “Baby, please do. Please. I deserve it.”

  “No, Mike. You don’t. You were right to be mad.” I pushed his arms down. “It is my fault. I did all of this.”

  “No.” He pulled me in and pinned my face to his chest. “You didn’t. Emily did this. She provoked someone she knew was dangerous, Ara. You kept this from me because you couldn’t trust me with it, and look how I’ve repaid your trust.”

  “Why the sudden change of heart, Mike?”

  “It’s not a sudden change. I didn’t mean what I said. I know I felt it, but it’s not how I really feel.” He squeezed me tighter. “I hate myself right now. I’ve been so worried. I ran everywhere looking for you.”

  “Where’s David?”

  “He had to stay with Emily. He can’t leave her there alone, she’s too dangerous.”

  “Oh.”

  “Ara, as soon as I heard the door slam, I fell apart. I can’t tell you what that felt like—to feel you in my arms, to hurt you that way and watch the pain spread across your face. It killed me, baby, and I couldn’t make it stop. I’m worried…” He stood back from me, looking at his own hands. “I’m worried there’s something wrong with me.”

  Insight pressed my tight shoulders down. “I know what it is.”

  “You know what what is?”

  “I know why you’re so angry.”

  “What? Why?”

  My jaw jutted forward a little. To tell or not to tell?

  “Ara, please?” He grabbed my arms.

  “You won’t like it,” I warned.

  “I don’t like feeling like this. Please, if you know something—”

  “It’s the blood—David’s blood,” I said, pointing to my own face, referring to the near-healed scratches Mike had along his cheek.

  “What?” He drew back.

  “You’re addicted.”

  Mike’s brow pulled together at the center, thought distant in his eyes.

  “When it’s not in your system, you get… angry,�
�� I finished.

  “Angry?”

  “Yes. Kind of like a drug addict.”

  “Does that happen with you?”

  “Yeah. Remember our fight in the auditorium that day—at school last year?” I bit my smiling lip.

  Mike nodded. “That was blood addiction?”

  “Mm-hm. But I’d had less blood than you have, so the addiction wasn’t as strong.”

  “Oh, baby.” He moved in and kissed my head. “I won’t forgive myself for what I just did to you. I am so sorry.”

  “I’m okay, Mike. Really.”

  He looked at my arms. I hadn’t noticed it, and Jason didn’t mention it, but there were four long bruises on each of my arms: damage from Mike’s grip.

  “Okay, so maybe a little bruised,” I added.

  He clicked his tongue, lifted my arm one, then the other, and kissed the bruising. “I’m a monster. Don’t you ever forgive me for this, Ara. I don’t deserve it. I’ll leave. I’ll go away, and you never have to see me again.”

  “No.” I grabbed his shirt. “I don’t want that, Mike. I never wanted any of this. Just…”

  “Ara, you shouldn’t trust people that hurt you. I didn’t know I was capable of ever hurting you.” He dropped his head. “I guess I’m just like every other guy who says he’s not abusive.”

  “Mike, it wasn’t you. It was the addiction.”

  “Do you hear yourself?” He smirked. “You sound like a victim, Ara—saying exactly what every other girl who’s been hurt by her boyfriend says.”

  “But this is—”

  “No! It shouldn’t matter, addiction or not.” He simmered his loud voice a little. “I should’ve controlled myself. I won’t be one of those guys who always has an excuse.”

  “It’s not like you’re saying I just had a bad day or You brought this upon yourself by not cleaning the floor, Mike. This is something supernatural, something that was out of your control. A freakin’ blood addiction.”

  “Does addiction make it okay for an alcoholic to hit his mates at the pub?”

  “No, but—”

  “But nothing, Ara.” He stepped closer, taking my arms more gently than he had earlier today. “I grabbed you. I hurt you, and you’re so small.” His glassy eyes followed the line of my face. “I could have done worse than just scare you or bruise your arms. I won’t stay around for that to happen again.”