Dark Secrets Box Set
Page 108
“Some of us can’t help ourselves.”
“Some of us don’t want to.”
“For some of us, it’s safer that way.” He kissed my nose and angled back so our eyes met. The sunset reflected off the green for a flash moment then before we circled away from it again, but in that second, they looked so clear, almost a lighter, pale green. It was magical. “I wish I could hear your thoughts right now,” he said.
“Why?”
“Because I want to ask you a question—about history.”
“History?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, shoot.” I knew I was good for it, thanks to my History professor father.
“Do you know why they say diamonds are forever?”
“No.” Damn. “Do you?”
“Yes, it’s because, just like me, and soon, you”—he smiled, and we circled the edge of the frozen lake again, our bodies together like ballroom dancers, the wind kissing my cheeks and making my nose run—“they’re immortal. They never age or wither away. They’re a constant thing. Shining, sparkling, beautiful—kind of like our love.”
“Our love is like diamonds?” And he said I was corny.
“Yeah.” He grinned sheepishly and looked down at his hand. I looked too, my lips softly parting when the sunlight caught the sparkle in a very round, very clear diamond set atop a silver band. He dropped to his knee as we skated the straight stretch again, and smiled up at me. “Ara, my love. Will you marry me?”
Oh my God. A hot pulse of lava rose up from the ground under us, burning my insides and searing everything I ever hoped for, ever dreamed of, into existence. We moved so fast over the ice, but the world raced by in a still moment until the snowy day came rushing back, freezing cold after my moment in the extreme heat of mystification.
I looked behind David as we neared the end of the straight stretch, the banks rushing up quickly behind him.
He just shook his head, smiling.
“David, we’re gonna cra—” A soft thud cut my words off to a grunt. David hit the banks, catching me in his arms with a jolt. Disturbed snow splattered over my cheeks and eyelashes in dots of cool, melting with the heat of my skin. And the vampire just laughed, his fangs showing as he slipped off my glove, sliding the ring over my knuckle until it rested safely at the base of my finger. “I knew you’d say that.”
“You did?” is all that came out in a pitiful breath.
He wriggled my beanie over my ears then pressed my cold nose. “Yes.”
The sun sunk a little lower then, pushing the moon up, while the cold became wet, seeping through my clothes around the cuffs of my jeans and my sleeves. I swallowed and blinked back tears, unable to say a word for fear the weight of this ring, so new on my finger, so foreign yet so long-awaited, would disappear—that I’d wake, and this would all be a dream.
“I’m going out on a limb here and guessing that was a yes, right?” His tone was playful but touched with a hint of uncertainty.
I shook my head. “We’re going to be immortal, David. This isn’t like a human marriage. I—” I blinked a few extra times. “It needs more consideration.” I felt his weight shift, his soul drawing away inside, and smiled quickly, realizing how that might’ve sounded. “I meant, I can only marry you if we promise forever.”
The breath he obviously held came out through smiling lips, and he wrapped his arms tightly around me. “What about until death do us part?”
“Not even in death.”
“Then, forever.” David kissed my nose. “Nothing do us part.”
“Right,” I said, searching David’s smile. “I love you, vampire boy.”
“Et mon amour pour toi est éternel.”
I frowned. “You know, it’s more romantic if I actually know what you’re saying.”
He laughed softly, wiping his hand across a droplet of melted snow on his upper lip. “It means… And my love for you is eternal.”
“You know…” I tilted my face to the sky, seeing the first star as I considered his words. “I kinda like that phrase—especially since you mean it literally.”
He studied my face carefully, confusion masking his smile as he propped himself up on his elbow. “First star of the evening. Not making any wishes today, huh?”
“Don’t need to. You just granted the last one.”
David closed his eyes for a second, his smile warming the icy winter surrounds. “Really?”
“It’s all I ever wanted.”
“I wish I’d asked you earlier.”
“Why didn’t you?”
He reached up and stroked my cheek. “We should go inside. You’ll catch a cold.”
“I don’t care. I have you to take care of me, even when I’m sick.”
“That you do.” He rolled me into the snow and landed between my legs; the squishy, half-melted sludge seeped through my sweater and chilled my spine, like a spilled ice-soda. “And I love taking care of you. But I can do that without making you sick first.” He leaped up and took my cold, stiff hand. “Let’s go home.”
“Okay.” My teeth chattered. “I’m free-z-zing.”
David laughed. “You are remarkably adorable when you’re being human, Ara-Rose.”
“And you’re sexy when you’re being the vampire.”
“Oh, really?” David grinned, walking me across the road. “Well, then perhaps I’ll have to call on him tonight.”
“If you do, you better expect me to be all over you,” I said mischievously. “You’re my fiancé. I have rights to you now.”
“Is that so?” He smiled and opened the front door for me.
“Yes.”
“Then I demand that you escort me to bed immediately.”
“Tease.” I huffed, folding my arms.
He laughed, closing the door behind us. “You know me too well.”
* * *
My foot tapped to the soft, bluesy beat of John Mayer, lilting gently from my iPhone by the bed, while Emily traced circles over my diamond for the sixth time. I counted.
“Didn’t you tell me once that you hate diamonds?” she said, releasing my hand.
“Yup. But David kind of set that straight with this whole eternal shining love speech.” I smiled reflectively. “He’s good at that.”
“No, he’s not.” She laughed, snuggling down on David’s pillow. “He practiced that speech about a hundred times, you know.”
“Way to ruin the magic, Emily.”
She giggled, looking so young, so human, so like high-school Emily that I smiled too and laid down to face her.
“So, really? He had to plan that speech?” I asked.
“Not so much plan as agonize over—for weeks.”
“Christmas night!” I sat up on my elbow. “That’s what he was agonizing over on Christmas night?”
She bit her lip, nodding.
“Why? He could’ve taken me to Burger King and asked me in the playground, I’d still have said yes.”
“I know. We all know that, Ara, I mean, come on. But…” She hesitated. “Not David. He’s a little more fragile than that.”
“Fragile?”
“Yeah. He’s afraid of getting broken again, you know, after the whole I love my best friend but not as much as I love you and no I won’t give up my life to be with you thing.”
“Oh.” I nodded, rolling onto my back.
“Yeah. He actually thought you’d say no, because it’d hurt Mike too much if you get married—being that it was supposed to be him.”
That was pretty considerate of David. He must really care about Mike to think that way. But I bet that thought on its own was enough to hurt Emily—to think Mike could be upset by my marriage to another. “I’m sorry, Em.”
“It’s okay,” she chimed. “Mike talked to him, convinced him you don’t want anyone else in this world.”
Didn’t change what Mike wanted, though.
“Of course”—she looked up at the roof—“that doesn’t change what Mike wants, though.”
My mouth gaped.
“What?” she said.
“Uh, um, nothing.” I took her hand, listening to the roar of laughter coming from the kitchen and the sound of plates clashing while the boys cleaned up after dinner. “They get along well now, don’t they?”
“Yeah.”
“I always wanted that.”
“Me too,” Em said.
“I’m gonna miss you guys when we go to Paris.”
“It’s only for a few months. You’ll be back soon enough, then we have forever. You, David, Mike…”
“Emily?” I unraveled her fingers from mine and propped my head up on my wrist. “You know I love Mike, right? But it—”
“I know. Okay? I know you always will. I know he loves you, and if you asked him to, he’d give me up.” She shrugged.
“That’s not true.”
“It’s okay, Ara. It’s just how it is. I knew that when I fell in love with him. It’s one of the things that made me see him that way—the way he loves you. I would love to be loved like that.”
“But you are, Em.” I tugged softly on a strand of her hair. “He does love you.”
“No. Ara, he doesn’t—not like that anyway. He likes me, enjoys my company, but I really don’t believe it’s the kind of love I want.”
“He’s becoming immortal for you,” I noted.
“No, he’s becoming immortal for you.”
“What makes you think that?”
“I can read his heart—the way it beats when he looks at you. He probably loves me, but not like he loves you.”
“I hope that’s not true, Em.” I sighed, biting my bottom lip.
Emily smiled, her glassy eyes looking away. “I’m so glad you’ve decided to become a Lilithian.”
“Me too. I would’ve sooner if I’d known about them.”
“There’s no way David would’ve allowed it. I know he had approval, I know he came back for you on your wedding day, but this is David we’re talking about. If he wanted you immortal, what you wanted wouldn’t have mattered—not after what you went through last year.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that he doesn’t want you to be Lilithian. He wants you immortal, but the only reason you stayed human all this time is because the only other option repulses him.”
“So he’s going to hate me when I change?”
“He loves you. He’ll always love you, but… it’ll be like the way you felt about him when you first found out he was a vampire. You were grossed out, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Lilithians aren’t only a weaker species, Ara, they’re the minions of vampire society; they’re vile and evil—they torture vampires without any mercy. Do horrible, irrecoverable things. Vulgar things.” She shuddered.
“Like what?”
After her mouth opened, it closed, snapping the words inside. “Can’t tell.”
“Why?”
“You know what David’s like.”
“So he told you not to tell me?”
“Told—threatened me with torture.” She rolled her wrist around, addressing it so casually. “Same thing.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“Sorry. All I can tell you is that they enjoy what they do.”
“Like you enjoy killing humans?”
Emily toyed with a strand of her hair. “Yes.”
“So, I’m gonna turn all vile and mean, and want to hurt you and David?”
“Well, we’re hoping that it’ll work like it does with humans, how, if you love one you—”
“Have compassion for their race?” I nodded. “I hope so.”
“If not, it won’t matter. You can’t hurt us. We’re stronger and faster, and you can still die. He’ll just kill you if you get out of hand.”
“He would not.”
“Wouldn’t he?” She was joking, I could tell, but there was a hint of fact under her tone, like she believed it. “If you escape and start creating a race of Lilithians, it could mean real trouble in the supernatural world, maybe even war.”
“Then why are the Lilithians risking that by allowing him to illegally change me?”
“They aren’t. One is.”
“Who?”
“Don’t know. All he said is an old friend owes him a solid.”
“Must be a rock frickin’ solid.”
Emily nodded, keeping her eyes on the roof.
“If they catch us, that’s where they’ll send him, isn’t it?” I asked.
“Who send who?”
“The Council will send David to the Lilithians—to be tortured?”
“Yes.” Her shudder came from way too deep for comfort—the kind of place that experience rests. Whatever David told her, it must’ve been some story.
“Em… what will happen if I bite him?”
“Not much. Major pain. Possible coma, or temporary paralysis. That’s pretty much it.”
“Then, if that’s all, why the shuddering?”
“Because the bite and the venom aren’t the problem. It’s what the Lilithians do after.”
“Do you think I’ll do that?”
“No way.”
“How can you be sure?”
“Ara, you’re not going to give just enough venom to lock his limbs down, sensation remaining, then cut him in places guys don’t want to be cut.” She pushed up on her elbows. “Are you?”
A rise of vomit burned my throat. “God, no!”
“Then there’s not much to worry about if you do accidentally bite him. Except a mighty pissed off vampire waking from a venom-coma with a mass hangover.” Emily chuckled at the idea.
“Not funny.”
“Yes, it is.”
“Well, it’s immortality—in whatever form. We’ll just have to deal with it.” I shrugged.
“It’s a pity you can’t be a vampire like David and me. We’re so much cooler. We have better powers, we’re faster, stronger. We rule.” Emily grinned, but it quickly fell away as she dropped her hands over her belly and sighed, looking at the ceiling again.
“What is it, Em?”
“I still can’t believe Jason did this to me.” She traced a finger down the clear vein in her arm. “I used to cry myself to sleep over him nearly every night, you know.”
“Why did he do it?” I asked cautiously. “What did you say to him to make him that mad?”
“I slapped him.” She absentmindedly rubbed her hand. “Told him he’s a beast—that no matter what he does in this world, no matter how he tries to absolve himself, I’d make sure I hate him for the rest of my days.”
I closed my eyes, seeing Jason’s face and the way those words would’ve wounded him so, so deeply. But my mind rejected the compassion with a figurative regurgitation. “And what did he say?”
“He said that maybe I just needed some more time to think about it, and then he grabbed me.”
“Was Mike there when Jason attacked you?”
Emily nodded, wiping a tear from her cheek. “He tried to save me. He fought him, but Jason just pushed him aside, told him to back off.”
“And Mike backed off?” I sat up, my arms straight behind me to hold me up.
“God, no.” Emily scoffed. “Jason pushed him out and locked the door.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Weird, huh? I don’t think he wanted to kill me, Ara. He only bit me once. I mean, he tore my whole damn throat out, but if he wanted me dead, he sure as hell could have and… would have.”
“You think he deliberately turned you?”
“That’s the only conclusion I can draw.” Something in her tone suggested she’d thought about it many, many times.
Neither of us said a word for a few minutes. I imagined her mind raced with confusion, while mine raced with empathy—for Jason. When he lost Emily, when she turned on him as well, he would’ve been shattered.
“Em?” I hesitated. “I know you’re mad at him, but Jason’s still a good man.”
<
br /> She looked at me, her eyes alight with confusion. “What?”
“I’m not supposed to tell you this, but… he saved me.”
“Saved you?” She rolled over and laid on the underside of her arm, her face just in front of mine.
“Yes. A few weeks ago, Eric took me to Karnivale. You heard of it?”
“Yeah. David told me about it.”
“Well, when Eric went to get a drink, I sort of got in trouble. Jason found me there—fought for me, then he… he brought me home.”
“What!”
“I know. I was totally weirded out.”
“So… I mean, did he say anything to you? I—I can’t get my head around this.” She touched her temples. “Why? I mean, why would he save you?”
Oh, awkward moment. “He saved me, because he never really wanted me dead.”
“Ara, he tried to kill you.”
“No. He set out for revenge on David. My death was a part of that, but he couldn’t do it. He told me he wants revenge still, but not by hurting me.”
She swallowed hard, her eyes glassing. “That sounds more like my Jason.”
Sounded more like my Jason, too. I watched her expression go from thought to sadness.
“I’m sorry, Em.” I tried to pull her hands away from her face, but she shook her head.
“I’m okay. I’m—I’m okay.”
“He was a good guy, wasn’t he?” I said sympathetically.
She nodded, wiping her hands down her face. “He was. That’s why I never understood his leaving me.”
“Really?” My brows arched. “You haven’t caught on yet?”
She shook her head.
“The Set—leaving for winter… rules.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh.”
“Oh.” She sat up, her expression completely changing. “My God. Why didn’t I put that together?”
“You’ve had other things to think about.”
“So… he—” She looked at me. “Do you think he felt the same as me? Do you think maybe—”
I took her hand. “Em. I know it killed him. I know he tried to fight for the right to change you, bring you with him or get leave from the Set for eighty years, but… he was overruled.”
“But his own brother was on the Council!” She looked at my door. “Couldn’t David have helped?”