The Veil of Virtue

by Karen Joyce

  “I don’t know what happened in there, but maybe you should come back inside. I could call for the doctor.”

  “Young man,” she said, taking his hands. “There is grave danger here.” Lincoln thought of the woman he saw at Montague Manor and as if she had read his mind, she answered his thoughts.

  “Beware, young man. Evil dwells within those walls.”

  IV

  Lady Madeleine was the first to see Lincoln appear on the horizon riding a beautiful white mare like he was a knight in shining armour. And as he drew closer, she wondered if he would be the one to save her from this meaningless life, and it happened upon her in this realisation that she never knew, until now, that she had needed to be saved. Arriving at the quant outdoor luncheon, Lincoln dismounted from his horse and handed the reins to one of the servants then walked towards the outdoor patio. Duchess Montague was sitting under the shade watching Lady Madeleine play a game of croquet upon the lawn.

  “Good heavens, Lincoln,” cried the Duchess with glee. “What a sight you are for an old woman. I almost believed Prince Charming had come to steal my lovely Madeleine away from me.”

  “Mother, you forget yourself,” reprimanded Madeleine, as she joined them on the patio.

  “Come, take a seat, Lincoln. You must be parched,” offered the Duchess, directing her servant to pour a glass of lemon iced tea for him.

  “You have gone to too much trouble, Duchess” he said, taking a seat and noticing the large selection of cold meats and desserts laid out on the table.

  “Why, it’s no trouble, young man,” she assured him. “Madeleine, where are your manners? Come and take a seat.”

  “Yes, mother,” she replied, obeying her command. The Duchess turned her attentions to Lincoln and nodding in approval said, “Your mother told me about your plans for the future now that you’ve graduated from law school. I was very glad to hear you are going to follow in your father’s footsteps.”

  “It’s what he always wanted for me,” Lincoln replied, remembering his father’s dying wish, “and I’m very grateful for the opportunity Lord Ashwood has given me.”

  “Politics is a very wise and sound decision, and it’s wonderful that Lord Ashwood has taken such a keen interest in your future.”

  “He was a very good friend of my fathers, and after my father’s death, he was there to help us through the difficult years that followed.”

  “You were both very fortunate indeed. I only wish my daughter had someone to lean on now that her father and my dear husband has been taken from us so suddenly.”

  “I’m sure Fortescue will be a source of great comfort for you both.”

  “I’m afraid my nephew cares little for our situation. God only knows what his intentions are now that he’s inherited this estate.”

  “Surely you’re not suggesting he won’t take care of you and Lady Madeleine?”

  “It may be hard for you to understand, Lincoln. You’re a man. You don’t have to worry about your future the way women do. If he wanted to, he could force us out onto the streets like common gypsies.”

  “Fortescue would never do that to us, Mother,” Lady Madeleine said, shocked to hear her speak this way. This was the first time she had heard her mother’s concerns. “Father made him promise he would take care of us.”

  “Your father’s gone now dear and we have been thrown to the wolves.”

  “Mother, you’re being dramatic.”

  “The only chance we have now, Madeleine is that you find a suitable young man to take care of us. I only hope it’s sooner rather than later.” Lincoln understood now why the Duchess had been so eager for him to visit them. She saw him as an opportunity to secure her and Madeleine’s future. He didn’t like being manipulated, but Lady Madeleine was a charming and beautiful young woman, and for the time being, he entertained the idea that he could be the young man that would save them from ruins. After such a heavy discussion, their conversation quickly turned to the superficialities within their lives and Lincoln came to understand that whatever there was within Madeleine, of her character and her true feelings of the world, on the outside, she was a mere reflection of her mother.

  “Pray tell, Madeleine, what are your feelings on the Declaration of Sentiments? I’ve heard they’re making great strides in recognising women’s rights in the new world.”

  “What folly,” remarked Duchess Montague, “Women employed in vocations reserved for men? It’s absurd! A women’s duty is to her husband and her children alone.”

  “If you don’t mind, Duchess Montague, I would like to hear Madeleine’s thoughts upon the matter.”

  “Very well then. Madeleine, answer the young man.”

  “I suppose,” she began reluctantly. “I suppose I don’t see what harm there could be if, perhaps…” she said, leaving her sentence unfinished. She had great difficulty finding the words that would strike the fine balance between pleasing her mother and answering truthfully, a line she usually didn’t wander near. But when she looked into Lincoln’s eyes it gave her the courage to go on. “Perhaps if a woman’s fate did not lead her to marriage or to bear any children, she should be allowed to choose another way of life.”

  “What next, Madeleine? Do you propose the men stay home and rear the children while the women work in the mines and factories?”

  “Mother, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

  “I’m not upset, dear. I’m just feeling a little faint from this heat. Lincoln, thank-you for joining us for lunch. I do hope you come again,” the Duchess replied, rising from her chair. “Now I must go inside and lie down.”

  “Naturally,” Lincoln replied, standing up to leave.

  “Please, do stay as long as you wish,” she called, walking into the manor. The Duchess really wasn’t upset and the heat didn’t bother her either, she had merely played her part in bringing Lincoln and her daughter together. The rest was up to them.

  “If you are trying to ostracise yourself from society, you are going about it the right way,” said Madeleine, wishing her mother hadn’t left them alone, though it was all she had wished for since seeing him again all those weeks ago. In her fantasies the words came easily but in reality they were difficult to find. So far, she was doing okay, and he didn’t seem to notice how hard it was for her to keep herself together.

  “From what I heard before, Madeleine, it seems I’m not the only one with unorthodox views.” It was then he spied a charming white gazebo in the distance. “I remember seeing you as a little girl sitting inside there caught under its romantic spell.” He rose from his chair and offered his arm to her. “Lady Madeleine, would you like to take a stroll through the gardens?” She took his arm and together they walked along a path until it led them to the gazebo away from the watchful eyes of her chaperone who remained on the patio.

  “Whenever I chance upon this place and look out into the valley, it’s as if everything has been frozen in time,” she said, climbing the steps into the sanctuary of its shade.

  “And all the troubles of the world are far away,” finished Lincoln, as he followed her and saw the delicate lines of her profile. She was very beautiful, but it wasn’t her beauty that touched him now, it was something else. There was a secret hiding in her eyes. It made him want to know everything about her. To pull away at all her layers until he found out what it was, and he wondered if this urge meant he was falling in love, but the thought of it frightened him.

  “Madeleine, Did you mean what you said before?”

  “I don’t know. I haven’t really given it much thought.”

  “Well, do you ever wish you had those opportunities? I mean what if you could do whatever you wanted in this world.”

  “I really don’t know, Lincoln and there isn’t much point in thinking about something that’s never going to happen. The world just doesn’t work that way.”

  “Then humour me. Just for a moment. If you woke up tomorrow and you could do anything or be anyone, what would you do?”

&
nbsp; “When I was a little girl I always wished I could run away to Paris and be a dancer.”

  “What about now? What would you do now?”

  “I really don’t know. Maybe I would like to go to college.”

  “What would you want to learn about in college?”

  “I don’t know, Lincoln? Why are you asking me all these questions? Is this about you? Do you wish you could do something else with your life or be someone else? I can’t think of anything else that would be better for you. Think of all the money you’ll make and the power you’ll have. What greater achievement is there in this world?”

  “I just want to get to know you better. I want to understand who you really are,” he asked, but her words worried him. Did she really believe that his choice to be in politics was about money and power? Could that be what was truly important to her? It upset him a little, but when he thought about it more he realised it upset him because these were the things that had excited him about being in politics, but lately he wondered if there was something more.

  “I don’t know what you want me to say, Lincoln, but I can tell I’m not giving you the answers you want.”

  “That’s not true, Madeleine,” he said, but it was true. He was hoping for something else, something more. He didn’t know what it was he wanted to hear. He just wanted to understand her better, to get closer to her, but her answers weren’t what he imagined she would say. It made it harder for him to feel close to her and he needed to feel close to someone so he could open his own heart and understand himself better.

  “I just want to know who you are. Tell me about your dreams, Madeleine,” he asked, more desperately now. “What do you dream about?”

  “I wish my father had never died,” she cried, losing her composure. “I wish I didn’t have to worry about money or what’s going to happen to us in the future.”

  “I’m sorry, Madeleine. You’ve been through such a terrible ordeal. I didn’t mean to cause you any pain,” he said, taking her hands. When she looked into his eyes she felt he could see right into her heart again so she didn’t try to hide what truth was hiding there.

  “I wish I wasn’t so afraid of you.”

  “I would never hurt you, Madeleine. You have to believe me.”

  “I’m afraid of what you make me feel. I’m afraid that if I let myself care for you…”

  “What is it Madeleine? What weighs upon your heart?”

  “I was remembering when we used to play in the valley together,” she said, turning away from him “Nothing has ever compared to the happiness I felt back then. I’ve never been able to capture it since. Every time I get close, it remains, as always, just out of reach. That was until you came back. You have stirred those memories within me again, and now, I wait for you to come back again and again.” Lincoln was standing behind her now. He was so close he could smell the delicate scent upon her neck.

  “I remember,” he whispered into her ear. “Those were good days, but that time has passed. We’re not children anymore.” She turned around and looked up into his eyes.

  “We may grow old on the outside but underneath we do not change. All of us are the same. All of us are afraid. Afraid of the world and of who we are deep down inside.”

  “How could you be afraid of who you are when you’re so good and kind?”

  “I wish I could believe that was true.”

  “I know it’s hard to be someone you’re not in this world, but you don’t have to hide from me.” He held her now because he was moved by her melancholy and he wanted to heal her pain. “You’re so beautiful,” he said, kissing her neck. Madeleine closed her eyes and felt his lips move up the nape of her neck, until she felt his lips upon hers, but she didn’t know all that time he had been thinking about that other young woman he had seen in the manor. It made him feel so guilty and he almost felt angry at Madeleine for not being able to arouse that same passion within him, so he held her tighter and kissed her more forcefully.

  “Lincoln, please stop,” she cried, pulling away from him.

  “I’m sorry, Madeleine. I don’t know what came over me.”

  “We should go back now or mother will be worried.” They returned to the patio in silence, but Madeleine wasn’t angry at him for the way he had kissed her. She was confused because of how it had made her feel, like as if he wasn’t kissing her, but he was kissing someone else. And as she watched him mount his horse, and disappear over the horizon, she was afraid that no matter how close he held her, she wouldn’t be able to bridge the distance in his heart because it could only belong to another.

  V

  Over the next few weeks Lincoln spent more time at Montague Manor. Sometimes just him and Lady Madeline, always of course, with a chaperone nearby. Other times they would go on outings with their cousins, Fortescue and Felicity or dine with Duchess Montague and his mother; but in all that time he never again saw the lady that had moved him so deeply that evening when he chanced upon her in the drawing room playing the piano as if she were bleeding from her soul and soon, her memory began to fade, as his relationship with Lady Madeline deepened. Yet, though this time with Lady Madeline brought him closer and closer to the edge, that moment of falling off; of falling in love evaded him; and it happened, during his final week at his family’s estate, his presence was requested by Lord Ashwood, so he made arrangements to return to London earlier than expected. Lady Madeline was beside herself, having come to depend upon him and though she didn’t speak the words, he knew in her heart what was there; how he had come to fill her with the comforting presence of his company. When the day he was to leave finally came he went to her one final time that winter to say goodbye, but as he walked into the estate of Montague Manor, he sighted through the falling autumn leaves a solitary figure with dark hair flowing loose in the wind like a phantom from another world. It was then he saw her chasing something and with determined strides he hurried ahead to see her bonnet blowing through the wind. He hastened toward it and caught it in his hand.

  “Your bonnet…” Lincoln said, extending his arm to her. She didn’t speak; didn’t move. When he saw her standing there staring at him with such depth in her expression, he was lost, and they were drawn together like a key turning in a lock, and the chains that kept each of them imprisoned within themselves were released, as the weight of the world was lifted from their shoulders; and for the first time in their lives they felt if only for a moment what it was to be free. Then Lincoln could feel an invisible pull beckoning him, and he obeyed, moving closer toward her. And when he was standing before her, both of them face to face, they walked into a different kind of prison, the one that we are bound to through the chains of love. She reached out her hand now, taking her bonnet from him. Looking upon this man, she eyed the formality of his attire.

  “Thank-you Sir,” she said, as she curtseyed shyly.

  “Forgive me for the intrusion. My impression is somewhat bold, but I am not so self-assured. I’m not even sure I like myself, but seeing you as I have seen you now, none of it matters because my words…” He held his open palm against his chest, “they are not afraid to speak from my heart.” I’m sorry. I…I don’t know what I’m saying. I don’t even know who you are and look what you’ve done to me. Even now standing here with you, my hands are lost to the strength and purpose they normally possess.” He was smiling again, embarrassed by his behaviour. “I don’t even know whether they should fall by my sides, or hold on to the world around me,” he added, reaching out to grasp a branch of a tree, “because my weakened knees seem to be failing me at the task.” The young woman’s heart was racing and out of breath, but she couldn’t see the finish line in sight. There didn’t seem to be an end to what she was feeling and she was surprised that she could feel this way. People like her aren’t supposed to feel the way they do. This stirring of the heart. She had never known it before the way he had. He knew how it could come and go, and yet, always remain there, waiting for another to continue where the other had left
it behind, quietly biding its time. If you were to take my hand, she thought to herself, my heart would fall from my grasp and into yours.

  “Tell me my ladyship, is it your habit to walk through the woods unattended as if emerging from a dream,” he asked, watching her with an intensity of eye.

  “I prefer the freedom that my own company affords me,” she responded, his staring causing her to feel exposed.

  “I do not wish to intrude but would the lady object to my accompanying her on this lovely winter’s day.” She considered his proposal, the wind rustling through the leaves, whispering to her a secret language that only she could understand and as if she had sought counsel from the wisdom of a thousand trees, with some reluctance, she accepted.

  “If it is your wish, Sir Rinehart,” she relented, as she turned and walked ahead of him. Lincoln hurried to her side, feeling her beside him, surprised to realise that it was as if she had always been there.

  “Truth be told, my lady, you appear to have an unfair advantage over me.”

  “Why, Sir, whatever do you mean?”

  “It appears, although we have not yet had the pleasure of being formally introduced, that you seem to know my name and yet, you remain a mystery to me.”

  “Sir Rinehart, what need do you have for my name. If you hope to call me near, then there is no use for it, for I am already here.”

  “What if I wish to write you a letter?”

  “If there is anything you wish to say then say it now for there can be no future correspondence between us.” The defiance in her manner struck something within him that caused a burst of anger to shower upon her.

  “Why do you behave this way? Have you I offended you? Am I not worthy of you?” He was standing so close to her now, but the anger was now replaced with a deep passion so unsettling that he had to turn from her before he did something he might regret, though what that was he couldn’t guess. Only that whatever control he had was gone and this feeling he now felt frightened him deeply. What was even more surprising was that she didn’t seem affected by it, instead she walked ahead of him and then stopped to look back at him and he saw in her eyes that she was waiting for him to join her. So he again hurried to her side and they walked together through the woods, lulled into a deep reverie in that place where time does not exist and words alone cannot express the stirring of one’s heart.