by K. S. Adkins
And the prick had the balls to smirk at me.
Picking up on a female’s social cues was not a skill I possessed.
Not like I hadn’t tried in school but I didn’t try hard enough to actually learn anything.
Which was why I was currently sloppily pumping into a woman who demanded payment up front.
I wasn’t enjoying it or hating it, I wasn’t dying to do it again, either.
Here I was thinking, ‘would it ever get better?’ when she announced, ‘should have demanded more money.’
That night, I technically lost my virginity to a whore only to get it out of the way.
But, I didn’t come and neither did she.
Sex, I decided, wasn’t worth the money or the empty feeling it left behind.
Oh yes, I had fucked up royally.
And every cell inside of me was in panic mode because of it.
Smirking at her didn’t aid my cause either but it couldn’t be helped. But dammit, she made me happy, kept me guessing and my dick constantly hard. However, right now she wouldn’t see that as a compliment.
While I wanted nothing more than to tackle her to the floor and fuck her in apology, get lost in her heat, I needed to catch my fucking breath first. I hadn’t ridden a bike since I was eleven and my ass was killing me.
Plus, odds were very high she wouldn’t appreciate being tackle-fucked and I valued my balls. The same balls she kept staring at like she wanted to bludgeon them with a hammer.
Brushing past her to get a water from the mini-fridge, I guzzle that mother fucker making a mental note to add cardio to my routine. Jesus, half way here, I thought my heart had stopped. I was an out of shape assassin and that was unacceptable.
Looking at the real hurt in her eyes wiped out all the words I had planned to say on my way to our room.
I did that. Put that pain there.
“Finn,” I grate out, pouring my own pain into her name. “Forgive me.” Closing her eyes, she starts to turn away and unable to bear it I plead, “Kitten, please.”
“You said you walked away for me.”
“I did.”
When she opened her eyes and we connected, I knew before she said, “I walked away for you too,” that she was sincere. “I wanted you, us, more than my own future as a professional stunt woman, Nix. The very thing I worked most of my life for. The hassle of fighting Talon and dispelling rumors held no appeal but, being with you did. You were worth it, so why aren’t I?”
Having enough of distance, I advanced on her until she was in my arms.
“You are worth everything,” I promise her. “That’s why I left you behind. I need you to let me protect what’s mine.”
“Nix…”
“I need to protect you, Finn, you have to let me.”
“I want to protect you too.”
“Can you understand how difficult it is for me knowing you’re in harm’s way because of my actions?”
Snuggling closer, she whispers, “We are stronger together, Nix.”
And right there was the problem, strength.
What she instilled in me made the man feel invincible and that was dangerous. Needing her forgiveness, comfort and a hot distraction I slid my hands beneath her top cupping her tits. Whimpering my name on an exhale, I slide my reach to her ass pulling her flush against me. Taking her bottom lip between my teeth, I bite just hard enough to earn a gasp from her. Licking the sting away I ask, “Do you forgive me yet?”
Fisting my shirt, Finn lifts it up and over my head tossing it behind her. Running her tongue across my nipple she teases, “No forgiveness until you’re naked and I’ve come at least twice. You owe me, Phoenix.”
Why yes, yes, I did.
Can I just say, best fight ever?
The first time Ryan walked in on me masturbating was so awkward for both of us, it took him a month to find the nerve to ask me why I cried doing it.
The second time it happened, I truly thought he was out for the night so when he kicked my door in waving a bat around, my tears turned to laughter.
Rocking me in his lap, he whispered, “I watched you swim with sharks, walk over hot coals, eat a Fugu Puffer Fish and helped you try on your first training bra at Kmart. If you can do those things you can find a way to get off, Finn.”
“I am trying,” I sniffled. “But the harder I try the further away it gets.”
“Fuck,” he sighed kissing my forehead. “And I thought blue balls were bad.”
After stripping me slowly, Nix lifted my body onto the table wrapping my legs around his waist.
With gentle hands, he lowered me to my back and his teasing my nipples and licking my belly was heaven.
His erection was heavy between my legs and his clove scent was driving me insane. But he wasn’t rushing this, so neither would I.
And when he lowered himself to suck on my clit, I arched up in ecstasy.
Gorging himself between my thighs, I tipped his fedora and released the tie in is hair.
Sinking my fingers and digging into his scalp, Nix let loose.
“I’m going to come,” I wail unabashedly. “Oh God…”
Feral eyes demanded I do just that and when he sunk two fingers inside, I detonated.
I was panting through aftershocks when he leaned over and down balancing on one arm to say, “Before you, I felt nothing.”
Fisting his hair and pulling him toward my mouth I ask, “And now?”
With dilated pupils, unspeakable power and reverence for me, Nix growls, “Now I feel everything,” and buried himself inside of me in one brutal stroke. “Hold on,” he orders gripping my wrists and pinning them above my head. “I’m going to fuck you right out of your shoes.”
Hauling my body up and flipping me onto my stomach, Nix kicks my ankles apart then slams home.
Gripping the table with Nix gripping my hips, he fucks me with long deep strokes.
Inside of our hotel room the sounds we made, our skin slapping, was the most beautiful song I had ever heard.
“Again Finn,” he groans slapping my ass incredibly hard. And following his order, I arch back coming so hard my vision winked out. Stilling behind me, Nix takes his thumb sliding it over my hole and circling.
“Have you been claimed here?” he asks applying pressure.
“No,” I cry out. “Have you ever claimed – “
“Hell no,” he says biting down hard on my shoulder.
“Fuck,” I scream in agony and pleasure.
“Get on the bed, Finn,” he says pulling out and stepping back.
“Why?” I question, because I loved where I was.
Spanning my waist with his hands, he guides me backward toward the bed where he laid me down before crawling over my body. With the sexiest, most deviant grin I had ever seen, he smiles, “Because we’re both about to leave our comfort zones.”
My core clenched at the same moment I raised my ass in offering and it was the most natural feeling in the world. Scrubbing his hand over his face, Nix stares at his bounty right before he launched forward.
“Say it,” he demands roughly. “Say you want me to claim your ass.”
Giving him my best siren’s smile, I raise up even higher promising, “I want you to claim my ass.”
Nix’s alpha roar branded me as deeply as his dick did.
This man was all the adventure I would ever need and then some.
Okay, and maybe I'd need a salt bath after this...
I was sitting inside of a restaurant in Houston waiting for my meeting when a video came in. Checking my surroundings, I hit play to see Finn flying across the snow on a wicked snowmobile. Then I saw the ramp, held my breath and when she took flight, nearly crushed my phone in my hands. Zooming in, she takes off her helmet, only it’s not Finn. It’s a man. And when my screen cracked, I forced myself to breathe.
Screaming his praises, she turns the phone to capture them both together.
“Ryan made Antarctica his bitch!” she squealed and just as
the video was ending, I noted the expression on his face. This Ryan loved her above all others. More even, than he loved himself.
Under the video the text had read, #bestdayever
Leaving Finn behind with flushed cheeks, trust in her eyes and my come between her thighs was a fucking knife to my gut. When I didn’t return, she would see it as another betrayal, but letting her go was the right thing to do. Going our separate ways would keep her safe while I removed the threats to her. She wasn’t meant to be a killer and lacked a single ounce of self-preservation so I needed to finish this, for her.
I was so strung out on the female, that I left my focus back in bed with her too.
I was not a selfless man and it was taking everything I had not to go back and spend the rest of our lives running. But she deserved peace and safety, not a life in hiding. Finn was the female who commanded the sun to shine and rough tides to calm. She was nature, she was adventure, she was an untamable wind.
So, I was tucking this blessing deep where no man could steal it.
When you spend your life killing for profit, the first thing you learn to do is scatter your resources far and wide. So, no matter where you are, you can access what you need to survive and keep going.
After filling my bag, I tossed the key in the garbage and exited the building without speaking to anyone. Making my way to the lot I parked in, I was thinking about her when he cut me off.
“Goose,” I sigh in disappointment. “Why am I not surprised?”
“Where’s the girl?” he asks with twitchy fingers.
“Is this the part where you actually expect me to tell you?”
Motioning me into the alley behind a vacant industrial building, he says, “This is the part where I remind you that no one walks away. Not even you, Phoenix.”
“She is innocent.”
“She is my reward.”
“She is mine.” Even when she wasn’t.
Cracking his neck, he flashes his gold tooth sneer and says, “So protective, Phoenix. Gotta say, if she’s worth dying for, I may have to give her a spin myself. You know, before I kill her and cash in.”
Dropping my bag, it was on.
To anyone passing by, we would be a blur of movement. There would be no screaming, grunting, or calls for help. Just two men fighting to the death, brutally and silently.
However, the problem with fighting your own is that in most ways you were evenly matched. You knew how to anticipate his every move and he yours. When I stumbled, Goose was there to introduce my head to the brick wall and any respect I held for the guy went out of the window. Wrapping his hands around my throat he taunts, “Tell me, what does she taste like, Phoenix?”
Whipping my head back and cracking him hard, I roar, “Salvation,” taking him to the ground.
Exchanging blows was wearing us both down and the moment I paused to take an extra breath, it cost me.
Goose saw an opportunity to fight dirty and took it. Staggering back, I allowed the brick wall to hold me up while I fought to clear my head. The prick had brained me wearing a set of brass knuckles.
Spitting out blood, I was righting myself when he attacked my side stealing the air from my fucking lungs. Hitting the ground, it was thoughts of Finn that had my head all fucked up. I couldn’t let Goose find her.
I couldn’t allow any of them to find her.
Decision made, I knew if I died today that I was taking him with me.
But fuck, how I missed her already.
I should have said more, held her tighter, asked about her dreams.
Coughing up blood, I stared at the concrete disgusted with myself.
I couldn’t believe I was losing.
I never lose.
Shit. I had lost Finn and now this fight. It was truly a fuck-all morning and not how I saw myself going out.
Least of all by a second-rate fighter like Goose.
Struggling to stand, I was half-way there, determined to end this when out of nowhere a full-sized truck plowed into Goose sending him into the brick wall. When the driver backed up and rammed his ass over again, I stood there with my jaw open. Not only was he dead, he was...splattered.
With wide eyes, I watched my woman roll down the window giving me a thumbs up.
Speechless, I watch as she jumps down and peeks around the grill asking, “Did I get him?”
Adrenaline, terror, and relief warred within me, yet my fearless Finn turned to me and grinned. Fucking grinned.
As for me, I was furiously fucking clueless on how to handle this.
How to handle her.
My dad died before I was born, Landon White never showed to pick me up for homecoming, Andre Potts didn’t choose me for Red Rover, my Labrador, Bocefus, ran away thanks to the mail man, Talon cheated on me and Ryan died. Because of this, I named my vibrators after women for fear a man’s name would break them.
I used to tell myself that it was them and not me. That outside of Ryan, the others couldn’t handle me.
But I feared the truth; that I wasn’t worth handling at all.
I was done being left behind. Twice was two-too many and there would not be a third.
Having never run a man down before, I wanted to make sure he was good and dead before turning my back to him. I mean, in the movies they always get up one more time…
Worried (and yes, still pissed) about Nix, I rush over to aid him only to find myself pinned against the brick wall.
“What is the matter with you?” he screams in my face. “Why did you come?”
“Clue in, asshole! You don't get to make my decisions for me! And you sure as hell don’t get to let me go!”
Grinding his jaw, Nix says nothing, just stares me down breathing through his nose. As for me, I couldn’t stop crying, which was not my norm. If Phoenix were any other man, I would have let him walk away and moved on. But you do not leave your other half behind.
“We’re stronger together,” I sniffle, hating that I couldn't stop it. “We’re a team, Nix.”
Nose to nose he says, “We are not a team and following me because I’m the first man to get you off is going to get you killed!”
Cracking him across the face, I break his hold and warn, “You altered my fate, Phoenix. You knew what could happen when you sent that text and you did it anyway. You did not do that for me. You did it for you. For one year you read those messages and fell in love with me. I saved you, isn’t that what you said? Those messages saved you. Now I need you to give me the chance to fall back. You want me, you’re clearly willing to die for me, so get your shit together.”
“I will kill for you,” he snarls. “I will fight until my last breath for you.”
“Then let me do the same for you. Let me fall in love with—”
“This is not a movie, Finn. There is no director behind the scenes telling you what to do. You don’t get to re-shoot a scene if you fucked it up.”
“Yes, it is,” I yell back. “You’re the director. You’ll guide me. When the scene ends, you’ll yell cut, only the dead guy won’t get up!”
“You’re a distraction,” he says pacing now. “I can’t do what needs to be done if I’m focused on you.”
“Oh bullshit,” I laugh angrily. “I was watching you fight before I drove up and PS: you were losing. How did he even get the drop on you to brass knuckle your face, huh? Oh, I know! It’s because you were thinking about me and I wasn’t even here!”
“Finn…”
“All my life I’ve been told that I’m too fearless for my own good. That I was reckless, dangerous, and lacked self-preservation. I have sought out and conquered every thrill known to man and I’m still here. It’s in my blood, it’s my addiction and I will die without a fix. That mix of adrenaline and oh-my-god I almost died we’re both feeling right now? I need that, Nix. But I have one fear, Phoenix, losing you.”
“Fuck, Finn…”
“You are my greatest adventure and I am yours. This,” I gesture from him to me, “is our greatest a
dventure, us. We’re it. But, I won’t follow you again, I’m not setting myself up for that kind of hurt. I won’t be cast aside again. So, decide, are we in this together or not?”
“This isn't a game,” he insists.
“Yes, it is! And I'm good at it!” And that's it, now I'm fired up. “You think sticking a thumb up my ass is going to placate me? Make me sweet and biddable? How about giving me five minutes with your hole and then we can discuss it.”
“The fuck, Finn,” he grates out.
“Do you want to play cat and mouse? Is that it? I'll fucking play alright!”
“You're pissing me off,” he warns.
“I'm pissing you off?” I shrill. “You're the one fighting in a back alley in broad daylight and losing, Phoenix. Yet here I am, ready to prove myself, show you that I'm capable and you're throwing shade?”
“This is about – “
“Oh, shut up,” I scream. “None of this smells funny to you?” When he blinks in confusion, I lower my voice and stow the attitude when I say, “Listen to me, we can win this game. But you have to trust me, Nix. Otherwise, the day will come when I stop following.”
When his face softens I knew I was on the right track. Glancing behind us he mutters, “Where’d you get the truck?”
Biting my lip, I confess, “I stole it.”
“You stole it,” he mumbles.
“What about the dead guy?” I ask pointing to the pile of horror flick. “What’s protocol? I mean, he’s gooey.”
Pulling me to him, his lips were touching mine when he says, “Fuck him.”
Apparently, the Operator handles clean up too. Good to know…
“Why are you looking at me like that?” she says coyly. Though I haven’t fucked a girl yet, I knew shitty flirting when I saw it and this chick wanted something from me. Ignoring her, she steps in front of me and said, “Don’t act like you didn’t see something you wanted.”
“You’re that sure of yourself?”
“Uh huh,” she smirked and it annoyed me.
