F*CKING AWKWARD HOLIDAYS: 25 Short Stories of Awkward Holiday Encounters

by Plendl, Taryn

  “Yes, Mrs. Bennett, it seems so.” Neil gives me a confused look.

  “This is so cool! Did anyone see it?”

  Both Neil and I look at her and then back to each other, raising our eyes.

  “Yes, it was seen.”

  “Did people like it?”

  “Yes, I believe the reports were very favorable before we pulled it.”

  “This is awesome.” She leaps from my lap before I can stop her. “We’re newlyweds… and I’ve been in love with him for like ever. Usually, I’m a little more conservative because I’m a nurse who works with children and my husband is a hotshot lawyer, sports extraordinaire. I love him, and I love having sex with him, so tonight I wanted to do something wild! Making a sex tape would normally freak me out, but since it’s done and I’m obviously drunk— it’s awesome! I mean, he tore my panties off!” She jumps up and down, spilling our story to a complete stranger.

  I drop my head to my hands and try my best to find my words, but all I can do is laugh. Neil starts to laugh with me, and I stand, wrapping an arm around her waist and forcing her back to me.

  “Babe, you just told a complete stranger you’re not wearing panties.” I kiss her cheek. “Maybe you should quiet down.”

  She spins her head to look at me, her eyes glowing. “Isn’t it hot?”

  Her words do something to me, and the air starts to thicken with sexual desire. No one moves as I stare into Bizzy’s eyes and see the icy blue start to heat again.

  Neil clears his throat, yanking me from my thoughts, and I look to see him smiling again. “As I mentioned, you are not a part of our regular crowd so the tapes have been pulled. But you do need to know they were viewed over live time with a ten second delay so we could handle the privacy on our end.”

  I think about all the legal action I could bring against this man and then realize he’s not a dick. He’s protected Bizzy and me for choosing to recklessly have sex in a public closet—or what we thought was a closet—where we easily could have been arrested.

  “So what’s next?” I rest my head on Bizzy’s shoulder and look at him.

  “Nothing, the recording will be destroyed.”

  “Thanks, man. That means a lot.”

  “Consider it a favor. I know who you are. I actually reside in Miami.”

  “No shit?”

  “No shit. I have many business ventures,” he tells me.

  “Is this going to come back to bite me in the ass?”

  “Not on my watch. Consider it gone. You have my word.”

  Something about him is real, and I completely believe him, but I make sure to drive my point. “If that shit leaks, I’ll personally come after you.”

  “Noted.” His lip twitches, trying to hide his grin.

  I jerk my chin and turn to leave. Bizzy is still buzzing in my arms. Before we get to the door, I reach in my pocket and pull out a card, walking over to hand it to him.

  “Any way you can keep one copy and send it to me?”

  He roars in laughter and nods, tucking the card in his front pocket. “Absolutely.”

  Without another word, I gather Bizzy and we make our way out of the club and back downstairs to find my brothers.

  * * *

  “Shaw!” Bizzy screams as I plate the scrambled eggs and glance at Mathis and Nicky, who are sipping heir coffee with smirks.

  “Yes, babe.” I see her approaching with fear on her face and prepare for what’s coming.

  Last night, when we left the bar, Mathis and Nick chose to stay behind. They never questioned where we were, and I never gave an explanation, just that we were coming back to the boat because Bizzy had too much to drink. When we got back, I barely had her on board before she jumped me again. We had sex on almost every surface of the galley inside, me taking advantage of her horniness. When we finally landed on the bed, she passed out, and I walked through to straighten up before joining her. This morning, I let her sleep, planning on serving her breakfast in bed.

  “Was it all a dream? Did we really???” She pulls her robe tighter, looking between all of us.

  “Yep,” is my only reply, and she gasps, leaning against the wall.

  Nick gets up and pours her a cup of coffee, making it the way she likes and winking at me. He doesn’t know the whole story, but he’s obviously interested.

  “Have some coffee.” He walks to her, and she takes it with an appreciative smile.

  They walk back to the sitting area as I make her a small plate and move in beside her on the bench seat. “It was hot,” I whisper in her ear, nibbling along her jaw. “And I’ll have proof soon, for our viewing pleasure.”

  Her face turns pink, and she hangs her head to let her hair fall. Her eyes come to mine quickly as she bites on her bottom lip.

  “So what exactly happened last night?” Mathis sits down, pushing his shoulder into her gently.

  “Nothing! Nothing at all!” Bizzy avoids looking at anyone, especially me. “But I’m not leaving this boat unless absolutely necessary. I can’t face anyone in this town.”

  Both guys eye me wearily, and I shrug, kissing the top of her head.

  “And another thing—no more champagne!” she screams.

  At this, I slide over to get some room and then move her to my lap easily. “Fuck yeah, there will be more champagne. Lots and lots of champagne in your future after last night.”

  “Please stop,” Nick gags loudly.

  “I second that.” Mathis pushes his plate away.

  “Yes, we’re changing the subject! Why don’t we go fishing?” Bizzy suggests.

  “Hell yeah!” Nick and Mathis both approve.

  “Biz, you sure? This is supposed to be a weekend getaway for us.” I emphasize the ‘us’, shooting my bothers another look of annoyance.

  “Sweetie, I’m sure. Fishing will be perfect. I’m going to rest and read on the safety of this boat, where I can hopefully keep us out of trouble. ”

  That’s all the confirmation Mathis and Nick need to get moving. Their disgust from minutes ago disappears as they wolf down their breakfast and make a list of things to go buy. Pretty soon, once we check the weather and realize we are clear, the fishing trip goes from one day to an overnight trip on our way back home.

  Bizzy curls to me as we make our list of supplies for the guys to buy, and then she falls asleep.

  Two hours later, we are on the water, and after some persuading, Bizzy is lazily drinking champagne.

  * * *

  Chapter 4

  Bizzy

  I move quietly in the small kitchen, making coffee and going to the seating area to watch to the sunrise. We were lucky to find a marina in Islamorada that had a slip availability for the night once the fishing was done.

  Shaw may have been furious with our unexpected guests, but by yesterday afternoon, all his anger disappeared and they had a great time. Actually, everyone had a great time. This was the first time since before the wedding we all had the chance to hang out. The pressures of our lives in Miami made it impossible to plan even our mandatory Monthly Dinner Nights.

  So regardless of the way the weekend started, it turned out wonderful.

  “Morning,” Shaw’s sleepy voice sounds in my ear as he brushes my hair over a shoulder and kisses my neck.

  “Hi.”

  He slides in behind me, wrapping an arm around my stomach. We sit in silence, sharing my coffee and watching until the sun is completely in the sky. There’s a rustling behind us as Mathis and Nick both stagger in, get their own coffee, and join us.

  “You look a lot better than yesterday morning,” Nick comments to me with a wink.

  “That’s because I was smart about my champagne consumption. I’ve learned my lesson.”

  “We’ll see about that. I loved the wild side,” Shaw whispers, sending a tingle down my spine.

  “Stop that shit!” Nick frowns at us.

  I giggle as Shaw pulls me closer and kisses along my hairline. The move is partly because he loves to kiss
me, but in this moment, I think he loves fucking with his brothers more.

  “So,” Mathis tries to ignore our affection, “what exactly happened on Saturday night?

  I twist to see Shaw’s face and watch his eyes dance in humor.

  “We inadvertently made a sex tape. A sex tape that was seen by many people, in a secret sex club. Then we were caught, and I told the owner of the club I wasn’t wearing panties,” I blurt out, watching my best friend’s face turn pale.

  Mathis stops mid-sip and swallows hard. Nick makes a superior gagging noise that fills the cabin.

  “Jesus, Bizzy! What the fuck!” Nick yells, staring daggers at me.

  “It was the champagne!” I shrug, heat creeping up my cheeks.

  “It was hot and sexy,” Shaw practically boasts. I can feel him harden against my back. “But I took care of it and it’s not in circulation.”

  “Oh my God, this has to be the most fucking awkward weekend ever. No wonder you wanted to haul ass out of Key West.”

  The room is quiet as I get lost in my thoughts, remembering the hazy details. Out of nowhere, a giggle bubbles in my throat until I can’t hold it in and start laughing hysterically. Soon, all three men join in and tears run down our cheeks.

  “One thing is for sure, there have been some memorable moments this weekend. And Nicky is right; some of those moments have been fucking awkward!”

  As with so many memories with these guys, I know I’ll never forget this weekend.

  The End

  * * *

  About the Author

  Ahren spent her formative years living in an active volcano. There, her family made collectible lava art. She studied rock collecting at the Sorbonne in France, where she met the love of her life—her pet pig Sybil— before she returned to the states and started writing. She is happily married to a guy who used to live under a bridge, who she met while pole-dancing. They have one amazing daughter.

  * * *

  Now, meet the real me. I grew up in the south and consider myself a true “Southerner”. Most of the special locations mentioned in my books are reflections of my favorite places. Living on the Florida coast, my family spends a lot of time at the beach, which is where I usually can be found with a book in my hand.

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  Readers,

  Thank you for purchasing this copy of the F*cking Awkward Holiday Edition. I hope you enjoyed seeing what the Bennetts are up to.

  If you haven’t had a chance to meet the Bennett Brothers yet please visit my page for more information on my books.

  XOXO~

  Ahren Sanders

  Meet the Parents

  Amanda Maxlyn

  “Time for shots!” My best friend since childhood, Erika, screams over the loud music. Cheers erupt throughout my living-room and kitchen. I watch as my friends and coworkers, some with green beads dangling from their necks and shamrock bopper headbands bouncing in the air with every foot step, hurry their way toward Erika to grab a hunter green Jell-O shot.

  I love St. Patrick’s Day. It’s my favorite holiday. Not because of the parties and green beer — well, I guess that’s part of it — but because it’s also my birthday. Maybe that makes me a little selfish claiming an entire Holiday as my favorite only because it’s my birthday, but in my defense, it’s the one holiday that’s usually drama free. There’s no fighting with family over who is hosting and what time everyone should be over, crying over your Valentine for not getting you over priced flowers, or choosing between friends on the 4th of July because everyone decides to host a picnic and watch fireworks from their neighborhood. There’s something about green beer that brings everyone together!

  “Great party, Brit,” calls my coworker Stephanie from across the room. I smile and mouth “thank you” with a small wave.

  “Hey, baby,” Scott whispers into my ear as he comes up behind me. His lips brushing against my earlobe.

  “You came!” I scream, almost too loudly, as I turn and half jump, half fall into his arms. I might have reached my limit on green beer for the evening.

  “Not yet, but I can if you want.” He winks. “Happy birthday.”

  I blush. “Thank you!”

  I stand on my tip toes and plant a small kiss on his lips. His arm wraps around my waist and pulls me in closer. He takes the kiss deeper, forgetting that we’re surrounded by over a dozen people. When his tongue sweeps across my bottom lip my leg almost gives out by the sudden chill. But, just as quickly as our kiss began, it stops.

  “You look beautiful. Sorry I’m a little late,” he says, stepping back and letting his eyes roam over my body.

  “You’re here now. That’s all that matter.”

  It’s then that I take in his outfit and stifle a laugh. He’s dressed up in an all green leprechaun outfit with a gold belt and matching hat.

  “What are you wearing?” I laugh harder.

  He smiles. “You like?”

  “I like.” I grin ear to ear. He’s the only one who went all out by dressing up. Sure, some of us are wearing beads, oversized shamrock glasses, and bopper headbands, but no one compares to Scott right now. I love it.

  He pushes on the shamrock attached to my headband so it springs back and forth.

  “Scott, you came!” Erika cheers, handing him a green Jell-O shot.

  “I’m beginning to see a pattern here.” There’s a sly smirk on his face as he looks over at me and wiggles his eyebrows.

  “And, that’s my queue to leave.” Erika giggles as she turns away from us.

  I quickly swoop a shot out of her hand before she makes it any further from us.

  “So?” he asks with hope.

  “So?” I counter.

  “Apparently I came, but I wasn’t here to enjoy it.” He half pouts, half smirks.

  I giggle. “I-”

  “I think you should help me come … again …” His words trail off as he leans in closer to me. His finger hooks around the many beaded necklaces around my neck and he gives a gentle tug.

  “Scott, I have company,” I warn, staring at his lips.

  “All the more exciting.” His voice is slow and sultry.

  “Once they leave. I promise.” I give him a quick peck, then pull away, breaking the distance. It’s suddenly way too hot in my house, and I need to step outside for some cool refreshing air. I don’t turn around to look at Scott, but I can feel his eyes burn through me as I move through the dancing bodies and out my sliding doors off the kitchen to my deck for some fresh air.

  For March, it’s warm. Normally this time of the year in Nevada it’s in the sixties, but today it was in the mid-seventies making for a warm evening. The perfect way to celebrate an Irish holiday and birthday with friends.

  I glance through the glass doors and see Scott talking in the kitchen with Erika. I smile. I love that she introduced us, and they’re such good friends, too.

  Scott and I have been together for almost five months now. The sex is great and the connection between us is amazing. He wants me to meet his parents, you know, to take the relationship to the next level, but I’m not sure I’m ready for that. Right now, things are still fun and new. I know the second we meet the parents the next discussion will be moving in together, and I’m not sure I’m ready for that.

  My fingers play with the plastic Jell-O shot as my thoughts run away from me. I bring it to my mouth and use my tongue to break the edges around the plastic cup, then suck it into my mouth. When I look up, I see Scott, who’s now wearing oversized shamrock glasses. He’s watching me intently with lust filled eyes.

  His gaze causes me to blush.

  Before I can think to say or do anything, he saunters toward me, pushing the sliding door open and planting his feet right in front of me.

  “You can’t do that to me.”

  “Do what?” I ask.

  “Tease me with your t
ongue. Shit, Brit, that was so fucking hot.”

  The redness on my face spreads. I lick my lips and Scott swallows hard.

  “That’s it. Let’s go!” He takes my hand and leads me back into my house and to my bedroom door that’s just off my living-room.

  “Scott, everyone will see us go in here,” I hiss, coming to a halt. I pull on his hand to stop him.

  He turns and looks at me. “If you don’t follow me into your room, I swear I’ll take you right here in front of everyone.”

  There’s a look on his face that begs me to call his bluff.

  I don’t. Instead I watch him give me a look of satisfaction and slip inside my bedroom with no one taking notice. I glance at all the faces in my house. Everyone is deep in conversation, dancing, playing drinking games, and laughing. No one is paying us any attention. Before I give myself any more time to second guess, I follow Scott.

  As soon as the door clicks shut behind me, Scott has me pinned against the wall. His hands move up and down my body, landing on my breast. He gives a gentle squeeze.

  I quickly pull his green shirt up and over his head. Our mouths connect and dance hungrily for one another. He sucks on my bottom lip and I moan into his mouth.

  “Scott,” I beg.

  “Tell me what you want, baby,” he pleads.

  I don’t answer. I show him. I kiss and suck against his chest, landing just above his leprechaun pants with the gold belt. I try not to laugh, but I can’t help the small one that slips through. Composing myself, I trace the outline of his abdominal muscles with my tongue as I rest on my knees before him. With his help, I remove the belt and move the silly cotton pants to the floor.

  “Brit,” he whispers.

  Reaching into his green shamrock boxers I pull out his hard length and put it in my mouth. Sucking and twirling my tongue, I bob my head back and forth as fast as I can. The shamrocks from the bopper headband swing just as fast and the beads around my neck clink together.