F*CKING AWKWARD HOLIDAYS: 25 Short Stories of Awkward Holiday Encounters

by Plendl, Taryn

  I looked over at Daisy, whose face was bright red. I motioned with my head toward the ball on the ground, and she picked it up whooping loudly as she headed into the end zone.

  “Touchdown!” I called, and we danced in a circle.

  “Good game, Goldsmiths!” Dale yelled, stepping between Jon and Dean. “Now let’s shower up and watch some football on television before we gorge ourselves silly.”

  The family scattered, stripping off muddy shoes and sweatshirts before heading to their rooms. Linking my hand with Dean’s, I pulled his rigid body back into the house.

  * * *

  “He better not be messing with her, Red. I’ll lose it if he is.” Dean said from the adjoining bathroom.

  Finn had been bathed and dressed, and he was helping Daisy and the rest of the Goldsmith women with pies and desserts. I was showered, my robe cinched around my waist, as I brushed and dried my long hair. “You asked Daisy again, and she reassured you that they’re just friends. You have to believe them, baby.”

  Dean emerged from the bathroom, pulling the door shut behind him. He wore only a towel wrapped around his waist. His lean, taut body was simply gorgeous, and I knew just how to turn his mood around. After the rubber band was secure on the end of my thick braid, I walked over to him. I placed my hands on his chest and ran them up his neck and around the back of his head, tangling in his wet hair.

  He stopped talking and closed his eyes. Leaning forward, I sucked his lower lip into my mouth and then released it, pressing my lips fully against his. His tongue found mine and I moaned into his mouth. He grabbed my ass, pulling me into him, and I felt him hard and ready, pressing against me.

  I wanted to take his worries away, just like he had taken away all of mine. I moved to my knees, yanking his towel off as I went. As soon as he felt my lips on him, his head smacked against the wall. I grinned, and then took all of him in my mouth, alternating long licks with deep sucks. My hand fisted at the root of him, twisting and tugging, just like he liked. Dean’s breaths came faster, and I knew he was close.

  Suddenly the wall on the other side of us, in the bathroom, began to vibrate from loud sounds. “Oh yeah, babe. Suck my clit. Play with my ass. You know I love it. Will you lick it this time? Please, Damian? Oh yes, pinch my nipples. I’m gonna squirt all over your face. You love it when I squirt don’t you? Mmmmhmmmm.” The high pitched, nasally voice was unmistakable.

  “Why are Crystal and Damian in your bathroom?” I asked, still on my knees, my eyes round with horror, Dean’s dick softening in my hand.

  “It’s also the hall bathroom. They must have snuck in there to hook up in private.” Dean’s eyes squinted in a wince as we listened.

  “I’m gonna come. I’m gonna come. And then I’m gonna suck your toes, baby. Oh yes, I’ll suck ‘em good. I’m commmmiinnnnggggggg.” Crystal moaned a long, drawn out sound of pleasure while Dean and I stared at one another.

  “I’m traumatized by all of that, Red.” He lifted me off the floor and enveloped me in his arms. “They totally killed the mood. All I’ll hear is…that. All I’ll think about are licking asses and sucking toes.”

  I shivered and then pressed my face into his neck to muffle my laughter.

  Dean reached behind him to bang on the wall. “Take your blue balls somewhere else bro. We can hear you in here.”

  Crystal giggled, and Damian opened the door just wide enough to poke his head through. “Sorry guys.” He grinned sheepishly. “She’s an over-communicator.” He shut the door, and the sound of her high-pitched giggles faded away.

  “She’s something all right.” Dean reached into my robe and cupped my breasts in his hands. “I need a little time before Big D can party, but let me make you feel good.”

  He leaned in to kiss me, and I grasped his face, holding him to me. His fingers moved from my breasts down to my hips. One hand held me steady by the hips while the other dipped into my panties.

  “Oh fuck, you’re wet.” Dean rasped out, pulling back to look at me with heated eyes.

  “Yes,” I moaned as he circled his fingers. “I saw you get out of the shower and that was all it took. Don’t stop. That feels so good.” He pumped his fingers, and I moved onto my tiptoes, arching my back to help get the right spot. “Yes!” I cried out and then stopped as a shrill barking sounded.

  Dean kept going, but the barking intensified. It was Crystal’s fucking pug.

  I waited another few seconds and then gently pulled his hand away. “I can’t. It’s the worst sound I’ve ever heard. There’s no way I can come while that dog yips on the other side of the door.” I rested my head on his chest, my arms around his waist.

  “No, baby. The worst sound was Crystal getting ready to squirt.” Dean broke into laughter, and I joined him because what else could we do?

  * * *

  The dining room table was loaded with food and family. My parents, who I had only recently reunited with, were joining us for dinner tonight, too. Finn led the group in a prayer and then platters were passed around in what seemed an endless circle.

  Dean and I were both horny. He used every excuse he could before dinner to press his hard self into my back, a reminder of what was to come tonight.

  But now we focused on those around us. And on some seriously delicious food cooked by all.

  Finn giggled as he ate his mountain of food. “Seriously mom,” he leaned over to tell me. “Best. Day. Ever.”

  I smiled and nodded in agreement. I was warmed body and soul from this family.

  Dean bit into his turkey leg. “Daisy, this is ridiculously good. What did you do?”

  She grinned, looking down and studying her plate before answering. “I soaked it in a brine. I like to try new ways to cook a turkey every year, but this one might stick.”

  Jon sat next to her and nudged her with his elbow. “You decided not to fry it?”

  She shook her head and turned to him, explaining the reasons she went with a brine.

  “See what I mean? Why does he care how she cooks her turkey?” Dean asked into my ear.

  Turning my head, I spoke into his, placing my hand on his upper thigh as I did. I felt him stiffen with surprise, but then he melted into my touch. “Settle. He’s just being polite,” I murmured.

  The clattering of silverware and the tipping of glasses caused us to pull apart. As we did, I saw Diamond jump off the table with Dean’s turkey leg in his mouth.

  “Ohmigod!” Crystal screamed and jumped up to chase her little thief. “She could choke on a bone!”

  Dean sat back and folded his arms across his chest focusing on Damian. “Your girl’s dog is an asshole.”

  Damian shrugged and dove into a pile of mashed potatoes.

  Dorothy had gotten up, righted everything that was spilled or tipped, and replaced Dean’s leg with some fresh turkey. She handed him a glass of wine. “Try some of my boxed wine, dear. It’ll calm you down.”

  Dean sipped the cheap wine. I was drinking it too, and it really wasn’t all that bad. “Hmm. I could drink this tonight. Think I’m gonna need it.”

  I was pretty sure we all did.

  * * *

  A few hours later, my parents had gone home, and the boys were finishing cleaning the kitchen and all the piles of dishes under Dale’s supervision. After I got Finn to bed, the ladies, minus Crystal, who was lying with Diamond to check for any potential breathing issues from her turkey debacle, gathered around the dining room table. We all drank Dorothy’s boxed wine, except for Daisy and Delilah, who drank pop.

  “I need more wine!” Dorothy yelled into the kitchen.

  “Ma, I think the box is empty,” Damian yelled back from the kitchen.

  Dorothy smacked her hand on the table. “No way. You’ve got to work at it, Damian. Tip it! Tip the box!” She yelled, her face flushing with exertion.

  I met Dianna’s, and then Daisy and Delilah’s eyes.

  Ma Goldsmith was drunkity drunk drunk.

  Our round table drinking session needed
to end pronto. We couldn’t have the matriarch of the clan feeling sick in the morning.

  “I’m going up to bed, ladies. Happy Thanksgiving.” I hugged each of them and then headed into the kitchen.

  Dean looked so sexy, his hip propped up against the kitchen counter, drying a dish with a towel while he laughed and teased with his father and brothers. I walked up to him and whispered in his ear. “I’m heading to bed. Take your time. Enjoy your family.” I pulled away to go, and he captured my wrist, returning me to his side.

  “Nope, I’m ready to enjoy you. Finally.” Dean waved goodnight to his family, and we made our way to bed.

  “Finn asleep?” Dean asked around a mouthful of toothpaste.

  “Yup. I checked twice.” I lay in bed in a nightie, rubbing lotion onto my arms and legs. “Door locked?” I gestured toward the bedroom door with my thumb.

  Dean spit out the toothpaste and drank water from the faucet. “Yup. And I locked the hallway access to this bathroom, too.” He wiped his face with a towel and walked toward the bed wearing only his skin tight boxer briefs.

  “Look at us learning lessons and not making the same mistake twice.” I giggled as he crawled toward me on all fours.

  Dean kissed me hard and then quickly pulled the nightie down, exposing my breasts. He sucked on one nipple and then the other, pulling each into his mouth. My back arched as I tried to give him more. His mouth was perfection.

  He lifted his head and winked as he moved down my body, dragging my nightie lower as he went. He knelt at my feet, throwing the satiny fabric down on the floor.

  Dean lifted my foot at the ankle and smirked. “Want me to suck your toes, Red?”

  “Ewww,” I scowled, scrunching my nose at him and yanking my foot away.

  “I kid, I kid.” Dean planted soft kisses up my leg until he stopped between my legs and waited.

  I rose up on my elbows to see him. “Please, babe. C’mon you got me all worked up all day. Crystal’s quiet, the damn dog is quiet, everything is quiet… I need you.”

  Dean parted my soft skin and grinned. “That’s what I’ve been waiting for. Let me take care of you.”

  He brought his mouth to me and licked, sucking right where I ached for him. I flopped back down on the bed, fisting the sheets in both hands.

  Dean paused and lifted his head. “You gotta stay quiet, too, Red.”

  “Yes, of course, just keep going,” I panted, my eyes squeezed shut as pleasure surged through me.

  And then he added two fingers, pumping vigorously, and I was gone.

  Bliss.

  My body clenched as I held my breath and absorbed the beautiful sensations rippling through my body.

  When I recovered, I sat up. Dean pulled me onto his lap, and I linked my hands behind his neck. “Thank you, baby. That was mind-blowing.”

  “Let’s go for mind-blowing orgasm number two.” He lifted me onto my knees, adjusting us so the tip of him was ready for me to lower down on. This was one of my favorite positions. Me on top with Dean sitting up. He got so deep and hit the exact spot that caused me to lose my shit, fast.

  Squeak, squeak.

  Squeak, squeak.

  Squeak, squeak.

  The sound came rhythmically from somewhere below us. Dean stilled, his eyes finding mine.

  We held each other’s gaze. “Is that coming from downstairs?” I asked.

  Dean nodded, tilting his head to listen.

  Squeak, squeak.

  Squeak, squeak.

  Squeak, squeak.

  “What’s right below us?” I asked, almost hesitantly. I had this weird gut feeling that I probably didn’t want to know the answer.

  Dean closed his eyes and rested his head on my shoulder. “My parent’s room.” His voice was so defeated.

  “Oh, yes. That’s my Big Kahuna!”

  The sound was unmistakably Dorothy, in what sounded like the throngs of ecstasy. So Dorothy and Dale still had sex. Loud sex. Good to know.

  Dean lifted his head and kissed my forehead, moving me away from his dick. “First I’m cock blocked and now it feels like everyone in my family is getting some but me this year.”

  I climbed off his lap and grabbed my nightie from the floor. I shimmied it up over my body, as I watched Dean fall onto the bed, lying on his back with his palms covering his eyes. I felt guilty that he took care of me and then missed his chance. Again. I had to try and turn his mood around.

  “I know. It sucks.” I lay beside him, curling into his side. “But think about this. Last year for Thanksgiving, Finn and I were alone until you came over. And now we’ve spent the whole day surrounded by family, friends, and one asshole dog.”

  Dean’s body shook with laughter next to me.

  “Tomorrow we will drive back to our beautiful condo where we will make love in our own bed. Dean, I’ve never been so grateful.”

  He leaned down and pressed his lips against mine. “Me too, Red. Me too.”

  We were quiet for a few minutes, and I thought Dean had fallen asleep. It seemed the Big Kahuna had taken care of his woman, and I felt my body and mind relax.

  “But so help me God, if Jon’s is hooking up with my baby sister I’ll fuckin’ kill him,” Dean muttered and then began to snore.

  Jeez, I had a feeling Christmas was going to be really fucking awkward.

  The End

  * * *

  Get more of these characters in Laura Ward’s Not Yet series:

  Not Yet

  Until Now (Grace and Dean’s story)

  Someday Soon (Coming in 2017, Jon and Daisy’s story)

  * * *

  Stay in touch:

  Newsletter: http://eepurl.com/93O3T

  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LauraWardAuthor/

  Website: http://www.laurawardauthor.com/

  * * *

  About the Author

  USA Today bestselling author Laura Ward writes sweet and sexy stories that will hopefully make you look at the world in a different way. Her books include the Not Yet series: Not Yet (Amazon Top 100 bestseller and Amazon All-Star), Until Now and Someday Soon (release date 2017), as well as the Contemporary Romance standalone, Past Heaven. She is also the co-author of the College Bound series: The Pledge and The Color of Us. Laura lives in Maryland with her loud and very loving three children and husband. She married her college sweetheart and is endlessly grateful for the support he has given her through all their years together, and especially toward her dream of writing books. When not picking up toy trucks, driving to lacrosse practice, or checking spelling homework, Laura is writing or reading romance novels.

  Sex on the Beach

  Leigh Carman

  Starring Dex and Finn from Match Point

  I choked on a slightly tipsy—okay, drunk—laugh. My boyfriend of almost a year and also professional beach volleyball teammate, the superhot, supersexy, Finn Callahan, shot me a dirty look.

  “You’re terrible at this, Dex. If you can’t stay quiet, we’re gonna get caught,” Finn said before he let out a muffled snort. My boyfriend was clearly having difficulty smothering his own laughter.

  “Shhhhh,” I whispered, giggling as I stumbled out the back door of the lobby of our luxury hotel.

  Hand in hand, we made our way down a winding path that led between the dunes and ended on the beach. It was pretty dark out, the only source of light a small sliver of moon in the sky. We took turns tripping on the sand every now and again until we finally emerged onto the pristine expanse of white sand.

  “Maybe we should have had more to drink. I feel like we’re too exposed out here,” Finn said, biting his lip as he glanced around nervously.

  “Pffttht.” I stared at Finn and waved my hand, which threw me off balance. I wobbled a little, only staying on my feet because Finn put a big, steadying hand on my shoulder. “I’ve had plenty of liquid courage. You’re the teetotaler, Finn.” I sidled up to my gorgeous boyfriend until I was pressed against Finn’s tall, lean, athlete’s body. “It’s N
ew Year’s Eve, babe. I want to celebrate with a few drinks and a good hard fuck on the beach.”

  He chuckled. “I want to fuck too, Dex. Just… maybe not in public.” Finn’s eyes darted up and down the beach, the sand a pale gray color in the moonlight. “I have no idea how you convinced me that this was a good idea.”

  “The real question is, why are you still sober enough to be thinking rationally?” I made my point by thrusting my lower lip out as I rubbed against Finn’s bulging crotch. “Come on, babe. I’ve always wanted to have sex on a beach. I mean, we play professional beach volleyball and I’ve never gotten laid on the sand.” I dropped to the ground and tugged on Finn’s hand, pulling the big man down next to me.

  Finn huffed, but smiled at my playful attitude. He loved when I got assertive, and watching Finn melt was so fucking sexy. Though, I pretty much thought everything Finn did was sexy. My boyfriend was a walking, talking advertisement for mind-blowing sex. He practically oozed sex appeal. I thought about all the times we wound up tangled together, skin against skin, hands and mouths everywhere, and my cock grew hard in my shorts.

  “Fine. You asked for it, Dex.” Finn got that look in his eyes. The one that said he was determined to make my fantasy come true. Finn grabbed the hem of my shirt and ripped it over my head. Next, he unzipped my shorts and shoved his hand inside, firmly gripping my half-hard cock.

  “Oh, God,” I moaned, my head dropping to rest on Finn’s shoulder. “Yes, baby. Touch me.” I felt Finn shudder as my hot breath caressed his ear. He tightened his grip on my cock and worked his hand faster.

  I lifted my head to look at my boyfriend’s face, and desperately needed to taste the man. I crushed my mouth over Finn’s, using my body weight to push him down onto his back. Finn released his hold on my dick and the bastard ignored my desperate whine. “Off,” Finn all but growled, pawing at my shorts. As Finn tugged the fabric down past my thighs, I flailed, toppling over onto the sand. Thrown off balance, I rocked back and caught myself on my hands. Unfortunately, my foot kicked out as counterbalance and landed a direct blow to Finn’s mouth.