My First (Jason & Katie)

by Melanie Shawn

  Well, not this time buddy!

  She took a deep breath, narrowed her eyes, and began her rebuttal.

  “I wasn’t saying that ‘premeditated’ was a bad thing. In fact, I am even more impressed that, ONE, you weren’t too embarrassed to do anything, and that, TWO, you even noticed in the first place.

  “THREE, you did not decide to use the information to humiliate me, as you easily could have done. And, honestly - I really do want you to know how incredibly grateful for that I am,” Katie finished sincerely.

  Then she continued on with her speech, moving into the part where she was gonna play a little hardball.

  “So, I went to your house to tell you all of that on the day that it happened, after school. Seth said that you had gotten detention and that your dad was not too happy about it. Feeling bad about my role in your detention, I went down to the school to try and get you an early parole hearing by explaining how you had been my ‘knight in shining armor’ so to speak,” a small smile tugged at her lips, “My Tarzan in shining armor, if you will.

  “Well, by the time I got there, your dad was already in the office with Principal Jenson and they were laughing so hard Principal Jenson could barely finish telling your dad the story. Then, I heard Principal Jenson say that he would send for you to come up to the office, so I figured I would meet you in the hall.”

  She stopped and stared at him expectantly. He looked puzzled.

  “What?” he asked, “Is that your whole story?”

  Her eyebrows raised, “Well? What do you think I saw when I turned down the hall toward the science lab?”

  Jason looked honestly perplexed. He shrugged and shook his head. “Beats me,” he said.

  Katie gave him a punch on the side of the arm, “I saw you playing tonsil hockey with Callie Martin, you traitor! You didn’t really look like you would want to be interrupted so I turned around went home.

  “And as far as never thanking you, I was eleven, and starting a conversation with someone by saying ‘thanks for saving me from complete humiliation and social suicide the first time I started my period’ isn’t really the easiest thing to do.

  “But you’re absolutely right. You do deserve a proper thanks. So, thank you Mr. Sloan, for saving me from years of humiliation! Happy? Or did you want me to kiss your feet?”

  Jason still had that look in his eye, the one that made her insane. The one that meant he thought (knew!) he was winning this round.

  “Wow,” he said in a lightly amused tone, “You said all of that in one breath. Now I'm the one who's impressed. Now, let me explain a few facts of my own to you.”

  Jason leaned in so close that he was barely an inch away from Katie’s face.

  “ONE, of course I noticed. I notice everything about you. TWO, I appreciate the fact that you came to rescue me from detention. That’s sweet. THREE, I would never do anything to humiliate you, Kit Kat. I wish you knew that about me.

  “And as far as Callie Martin...well, she came onto me. I was just an innocent bystander in her plan to dominate the entire male population of Harper's Crossing. That's all that was.”

  Jason leaned back a little. The challenge was still in his eyes, but now a smile was slowly spreading across his face, covering it as slowly but surely as melted butter coats a pan.

  Finally, he said, “I have to admit, though. I’m pretty happy she did, all things considered. I like seeing the jealous side of you.”

  Katie's jaw dropped, and not just a little this time.

  “I am NOT jealous!” she protested hotly, “I only even mentioned it because it was a pertinent part of my explanation. You know, as to why I didn’t thank you. As you expected.”

  Jason ignored Katie’s outburst and brushed the side of her face with his fingertips.

  “And FOUR,” he continued as if she hadn't even spoken, “I’d much rather you kiss my lips than my feet.”

  With that, he closed the gap between them and pressed his lips to hers, firmly enough to show her that he meant business, but gently enough to make Katie want more...and more...and MORE.

  Before she knew what she was doing, her hand was behind his neck and she was pulling him closer to her, deepening their kiss. She heard a low moan coming from deep within Jason's chest.

  The sound made her bold, and she parted her lips and traced her tongue along his bottom lip. Her entire body was consumed with tingles, her heart was racing, and her skin felt like it was burning up. She was engulfed in overwhelming sensations, and she never wanted to climb out of it. If this was drowning, she didn't want to be rescued.

  Just as Jason's lips parted and their tongues made their first electrified contact, Jason’s cell phone rang. The sound shattered the bubble that had formed inside the cab of the truck and brought Katie back to her senses.

  She quickly pulled away, turning in her seat to face forward. Jason just stared at her, his breathing labored, until Katie blurted out, “You'd better check that.”

  Shaking his head, he begrudgingly looked down at his phone.

  “It’s Bobby,” he grumbled, as he put his phone to his ear. “What? This better be good,” he barked.

  Chapter Six

  Katie sat there for a minute catching her breath, listening as the boys went back and forth with their usual brotherly bickering. Well...Jason's bickering might have been a little surlier than normal, but that was to be expected under the circumstances. When she felt like she had gotten herself under control, she slipped out of the truck and quickly walked into CVS.

  Not only did she desperately need a break from Jason, but she also had to get what Sophie needed and get going so she wouldn’t be late for the luncheon. She looked at her watch. DAMN! It was 12:30. She couldn’t remember if the luncheon was at 1:00 or 1:30. She prayed it was 1:30. Where the hell was her itinerary packet? She could now see the wisdom in Aunt Wendy urging her to memorize the schedule.

  WHEW! She could hear the grumpy, irritable tone even in her own thoughts to herself. She needed to get a grip. She was the M.O.H.! She needed to be bright, and cheery, and SUPPORTIVE! 'Grumpy' and 'horny' were not on the list of “Top Ten Most Desirable Qualities In An M.O.H.” that she was sure Aunt Wendy had included somewhere in her packet.

  She shook her head, hoping to clear it. What she could REALLY use was a shower, both to cool down and to get her head on straight. She always sang in the shower, too. No matter what was going on in her life, a good shower concert was all she needed to get recharged.

  She reached into her purse and dug around.

  EUREKA!

  She pulled out the wedding festivities packet and took a quick look. Hmmmm. No schedule was in the packet. She had taken it out to study it in the car. Had she tucked it safely back inside when she was finished? She couldn't remember.

  Either way, chances were that no shower concert was going to be on the agenda at any point during the day.

  Hurrying to the appropriate aisle, Katie made her selection, and got to the checkout stand and paid for her purchase. She rushed back to the front of the store, scurrying quickly so as to get back on the tight timetable.

  She was just about to step through the pneumatic double glass doors that fronted the store when she stopped in her tracks. She caught sight of Jason leaning against his truck and talking on the phone, and it took her aback. He was laughing, completely unaware that he was being observed, without a hint of artifice.

  Whoa, Katie, realized, I forgot that he had such deep dimples.

  She had also forgotten the way that, when he was just being his relaxed and funny self, he radiated joy more purely than any person she had ever met. It was infectious. Just being around Jason when he was in that mood put a smile on your face – a real one, the kind that went all the way to your toes.

  Man, she thought wistfully, when was the last time I smiled like that? An all-the-way-to-my-toes smile?

  Probably not since the last time Jason made me smile like that.

  In high school, she was always studying
, always pushing, always trying to get the best GPA she could so she could get into a good school.

  And then in college, although that should have been her time to cut loose and be carefree, she had continued to bury herself in academics. Now, looking back, she realized that it was a way to escape facing what had happened with Nick, and the overwhelming guilt of feeling that she had betrayed him with Jason.

  Lord almighty. To this day she still had a hard time believing what she and Jason had done. Jason and Nick had been best friends – inseparable – but Jason obviously did not have the same issues that were haunting Katie. He seemed genuinely happy and contented with his life.

  Granted she had only been back in Harper's Crossing for a few hours, but even with all of the wedding hustle and bustle Jason seemed content. Not stressed at all. But that was Jason’s way.

  Seriously, Jason, she thought. How on earth do you manage to do that?

  It always had bugged Katie that no matter what was going on Jason always stayed cool, calm and collected. Katie was usually a nervous wreck. This had always been their dynamic, even before Nick’s accident.

  After the accident, while Nick was lying in the hospital in a coma, Jason had tried to reach out and be there for Katie. But, for her own reasons, she couldn’t let him in. She had kept him at arm's length, pushing him further and further away.

  And hadn't that proven to be the right thing to do with how things turned out? God! The night that she DID give into the sweet temptation of letting herself ‘lean on him’ things ended up going WAY too far.

  She had only herself to blame. That’s why she had to keep her guard up. Jason had some kind of voodoo spell hold over her, or...something. She wasn't quite sure what. It’s like he was a magnet and she was made entirely of metal, like the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz. The big difference there, of course, was that the Tin Man had wanted to be granted a heart that he didn't have – and Katie had a heart alright. It was her inability to control it that was the problem.

  How could she have let him kiss her? Good night nurse, what if someone would have seen? To this town, she would ALWAYS be Nick’s girlfriend! They would view her act of kissing Jason, even after all these years, to be “cheating” on Nick.

  It seemed, from what she had gleaned from conversations with her mom and Aunt Wendy, that Nick had basically been sainted in this town. It was a small town, and people loved to gossip. She wasn't going to let that happen. This weekend was supposed to be about Sophie and Bobby – not a Katie/Jason/Nick love triangle.

  Good Lord, could panic attack #2 possibly be far away?

  --- ~ ---

  Jason hung up the phone and took a deep breath, in through his nose and out through his mouth, slowly. Damn. That kiss had shaken him up. He wished that he could control himself when he was around Katie, and he had promised himself that he could and that he would - but recent evidence proved quite the contrary. In fact, it showed that, not only could he not be trusted around her long-term, he could not even be trusted with her on a short car ride.

  In his defense, of course, he had been pretty much head over heels in love with the girl since they were five.

  They just needed to get some things sorted out before he let anything else happen between them physically.

  First of all, he needed to set her straight on exactly how he felt about her - past, present, and future. She wasn’t going to like it, but she was going to hear it. Not only that, he was going to make sure that she listened with her heart, not just her ears. If that kiss was any indication of her feelings for him, she couldn’t keep denying what they had between them. It was too raw, too powerful. Too real.

  Having a talk with her where he laid his true feelings bare was years overdue. It's not as if he hadn't always known that the feelings were there. Growing up, Jason had always known he felt something special for Katie.

  In elementary school, he had shown it the way most little boys did – by picking on her. They had been friends, but their friendship had mostly been based on traded barbs and him teasing her.

  Then, it had changed. Deepened. His mom had passed away the summer before middle school and it had sent Jason reeling, his behavior and his life spiraling into a tail spin. His mom hadn’t even been in his life for years before she had passed, but her death still had a profound effect on him.

  The year after her passing flew by in a blur. He felt as though he were on the verge of drowning every single minute, and each day was just a long series of bumbling efforts, big and small, to keep his head above water.

  The only time he felt OK, like he was hanging onto a lifeline, was when he was around Katie. But, being 11 years old and a boy to boot, he was unable to process those strong emotions and his reaction actually came out as anger at Katie, rather than gratitude for her stabilizing presence.

  Over that summer, Jason and Katie had seen a lot of each other. Down at the Riverwalk, at the Boy’s and Girl’s Club, and at friends' birthday parties.

  They had even played 7 Minutes in Heaven at Rachelle Thomas’ 12th birthday party. They spent the first 5 of their allotted 7 minutes just talking. Then, because Jason was always so ‘smooth’ when it came to Katie, he announced that he was bored and so they might as well kiss.

  She had just stared at him in shock. Interpreting her silence as agreement to his plan, he went in for the kill without encouraging further discussion. Jason had kissed plenty of girls by the time he sat with Katie in the closet. His first ‘real’ kiss was in 4th grade. But he had never felt the true power of a kiss until his lips met Katie’s in that dusty closet when they were almost 12 years old.

  They had shared that kiss a few weeks before school started...the summer before their 7th grade year.

  During those next weeks, he couldn’t get the kiss out of his mind. All day, every day. Every hour. Every minute. Jason was doing nothing during all that time but remembering kissing Katie, dreaming about kissing Katie, and planning ways to create an opportunity to kiss Katie again.

  Ultimately, he had made up his mind that the very next time he saw her, on the first day of school, he was going to 'ask her out.' Which, in middle school parlance, just meant that she would be his girlfriend. They wouldn’t actually ‘go’ anywhere, per se.

  But, as he walked up to Great Oaks Middle School that brisk September morning, he saw something that hit him like a punch to the gut. Katie Lawson was holding hands with some blond haired kid and giggling whenever he said anything.

  Nick was the ‘new kid in school.’ At first Jason had befriended him because he wanted to know exactly who this guy was that had swept in and stole 'his girl.' It had been a 'keep your friends close and your enemy’s closer' sort of a thing. But, the thing was...Nick had actually turned out to be a great guy. He and Jason had quickly became best friends.

  Jason had honestly never expected Nick and Katie’s relationship to last as long as it had. I mean what ‘couple’ that got together in middle school managed to last all the way through senior year of high school? Jason had initially thought that he was just biding his time for the few weeks or month it would take for the novelty of the New Kid to wear off for Katie, or for Nick to meet some girl that he hadn't come across yet when he had asked Katie to be his girlfriend before even setting foot in the school.

  Yeah.

  So, needless to say, neither of those things had happened.

  As the years went on, Jason’s feelings for Katie did not diminish one iota, in fact they only grew stronger. He knew that Katie and Nick’s relationship was not going to survive through their college years. I mean...come on! Nick loved Katie in his own way, but Nick loved Nick more. Jason was of the firm opinion that, as great of a guy as Nick was, Katie still saw him through rose colored glasses, and that her vision would clarify once she started getting to know the big, wide world outside of Harper's Crossing.

  But, as it turned out, the metaphorical manipulating eyewear that Katie wore when she looked at Nick was more like blinders than rose colored glas
ses – and they never got a chance to see if life experience would have removed them, because Nick died before Katie ever got to leave Harper's Crossing.

  One of the many gut-wrenching consequences of Nick's death for Jason was that now he would forever be clothed in the protective, softening cloud of memory where Katie was concerned. How could Jason compete with a saint?

  Before the accident, there had been so many times that Jason had almost confessed his true feelings for Katie. Something always stopped him though. Katie seemed happy. Not just with Nick, although he was a funny and cool kid. Still, there were a lot of ways that Jason did not feel that Nick treated her right, and told Nick so. He would not have let the relationship alone stop him from telling Katie how he felt.

  No, it was that Nick had something Katie needed, and it was something that Jason could never give her. Nick had a big, happy family that had adopted Katie as their own. He knew that was something she had always wanted.

  Sure, Jason had his dad and brothers, not to mention that Uncle Pete and Aunt Sandy were around with his four cousins pretty often. But Nick had the perfect Norman Rockwell fantasy family to offer her: a mom and a dad, a little sister who adored Katie, and (the cherry on top), Grandpa J.

  Jason couldn’t compete with that, and he didn’t want to take that ‘family’ experience away from Katie. She always went on and on about how fun their family dinners were. Jason knew it was true. Once or twice a week, he would stay at the Hunter’s for dinner and witness first-hand just how much Katie enjoyed her time there.

  He could see the happiness written all over her face, glowing from within her, causing her to shine the way only basking in love and acceptance can. He wasn’t going to be the guy to rob her of that joy.

  Now, as he watched Katie walk from the store to the truck an odd sensation swept over him. He wasn’t quite sure how to describe it or categorize it, even to himself. He just knew, now more than ever before in his life, that the feelings he had for Katie were not puppy love and they weren’t going away – so he had better decide what, exactly, he was planning to do about it.