by Cara Carnes
I shook my head. “You are delusional. I never, ever helped with any of those attacks.” I’d done things just as bad, but I’d never eradicated angel settlements. “The only reason I’d participated in the skirmishes I did was to prevent Uncle Lucian from striking those villages.”
“You really are as naive as your sister. Probably more so. Did you really believe Father would allow so many of your ilk to sour the Realm, to breed like cockroaches unchecked?”
I contained the rage boiling beneath my skin. My phoenix edged to the surface, enraged by the deceit she’d not suspected. Vengeance would be mine, but not today. Baldar’s words were meant to incite reaction, provide an excuse for him to terminate me.
“Was there a particular reason for the visit, or did you just miss me?”
He trailed a pointed fingernail along my cheek, scraping until the acidic burn of his touch made me shudder in revulsion. “Your reprieve’s almost up, cousin. Once whatever game you’re playing here’s shut down, I’m going to savor every scream Aldo drags from you. Make no mistake, we will break you and destroy the angel whore in you once and for all.”
He vanished before I expelled any words beyond the lump of fear lodged in my throat. I swallowed and settled on my knees, purging my gut of the revulsion. Damn him. Damn them all. Exhaustion kept me from bellowing the anger pumping my blood. More than anything I needed an outlet for the explosive storm inside me.
To hell with who may be watching.
Checking my phone, I read the missed text. I closed the distance between the provided destination and myself. I’d never been to the sector of the campus selected, but I’m sure Lane had his reasons for the choice. Clear, star-filled sky hung above me wherever I gazed. Each deep breath, every step I took shoved the anger, the fear aside. It’d still be there, skulking in whatever shadowy corners the phoenix assassins occupied.
Enough was enough. I’d wasted four weeks looking over my shoulder. Baldar’s visit renewed my determination, fired my rage. My biggest mistake going into my predicament was focusing on what I couldn’t do. Train my sister. Tell people some freak watched my every move. Obey my uncle and befriend Vira to find the portal to Demonia.
Thanks to my cowering, things had officially spun so far out of my control I couldn’t even see the end goal any longer. The second blunder had been assuming I could save my parents and my sister.
My parents were royals and fierce warriors in their own right. Or, rather, they’d once been. I’d have to operate off the assumption they’d be okay. Riles wouldn’t since she knew nothing of what was going on.
As for me? Well, I’d die a glorious death because I would never hang in Aldo’s dungeon chains. Or Baldar’s. Or anyone’s.
I calmed once I focused on a new single objective. Riles.
Deep down I’d known all along everyone else—including myself—could be sacrificed as long as I did what I should’ve done years ago and kept her safe. The tunnel vision on her opened possibilities.
I arrived at my destination with a new calmness, or maybe numbness. A fine line existed between the two. I swear someone scrubbed the marking out, leaving me to guess where I landed.
The shrubbery and trees gave way to a large clearing. My gaze tracked immediately to him as though his presence filled the entire space. With a slight grin, he prowled toward me with a sleek grace I felt clear to my toes. Anticipation threaded through me. I remained frozen in place, settling my hands on my stomach, which fluttered and rumbled with agitation, awareness.
Why did the man affect me like no one else did? I’d agonized, fantasized, and otherwise obsessed over the answer during all the sleepless nights the past few weeks. My mouth dried, and my vision blurred a moment as I inhaled the heady, woodsy musk seared in my brain as Lane. Sweeter than oak, stronger than birch yet softer than pine. The unique fusion made me long to shift, romp in the night with him, though his beast was one of land and mine resided in the sky above. I’d gladly spend an eternity in hell at the hands of anyone in my realm if Lane could calm the need drowning me.
Suddenly, the dam inside me burst. Moisture clouded my vision when he closed the distance between us and palmed my face, as if sensing the emotional war raging inside me. I forced a couple ragged breaths, unsure what to say. The intensity in his gaze, the cerulean alight with flecking amber unsteadied me. I was used to being invisible, a weapon commanded rather than a woman regarded with such fiery heat.
He leaned in until his forehead rested against mine. Each breath I dragged in tasted of him.
“Tell me what you need, Xan, and it’s yours. Don’t make me watch you tumble down this rabbit hole much longer because my wolf’s about to give chase. You don’t want to see what happens when I lose patience. Tell me. What do you need?”
“I honestly don’t know.”
***
Lane
Everything in me wanted to find the nearest bed and lay claim to her until the doubt and fear left her sexy green eyes, but the last play she needed was one where I took focus off whatever bullshit she was dealing with. I needed to protect her, not fuck her.
Fuck it.
One taste.
Sweet and slow, I glided my lips across hers until her tongue hesitantly flicked out and licked. I growled, spanning my hand on her hip and dragging her forward until she was locked in place. So much for sweet and slow.
Ravenous for her taste, her softness, I plundered and pillaged, seizing control of the kiss. She trembled in my arms, her groans echoed in my throat. Her nails dug into me through my shirt.
I cupped her breast, flicking my thumb across her nipple. The bud hardened under her thin top. Her pulse beat beneath my lips as I worked down her neck. The wind whipped across us. An unwelcomed scent assaulted my nostrils.
I pulled away from her and growled. “This better be important.”
“Need you, man. Now,” Logan replied.
Xandra jumped backward. The full moon cast on her flush cheeks. Eyes widened, she took a couple more steps away. “I’ll leave.”
“No. I think you need to come with us.” Logan settled his gaze on me with a firm shake of his head. “Let’s go.”
When Logan tore off at full speed without pause, my wolf rose to the surface. I’d known him for years but couldn’t remember him reacting so out of character. The man never rushed anywhere.
“What’s going on?” Xandra asked.
“Not sure.”
We fell into a tense silence, sprinting past clusters of students mingling along the walkway when we hit the urban section of campus. Fortunately, Xandra kept pace well, her lack of rapid breathing divulging her conditioned training. I realized how far from the primary portion of the university we’d been.
Logan slowed a couple hundred yards from a cluster of our pack. Their agitation struck a death blow. He turned and regarded us both, his expression grim. “There’s nothing we could do.”
Xandra’s eyes flared, and she vaulted forward. He snagged her easily at the waist and caught my gaze.
What the hell? I forced the demand through the telepathic channel I shared with the pack, even though I hated using it since some of the shyer wolves found the ability invasive.
We were in the cafeteria when screaming caught our attention. He just fell from the sky, man.
“Let. Me. Go.” She punched and kicked Logan until he grimaced.
“Do it.” Though she’d yet to admit it, she was a warrior. Whatever was going down might be the wedge needed to get past her defenses. The decision was a shit move, but the only one I could think of—especially since my primary objective was pack security, which included Riles. Xan knew something I needed.
Sometimes being Alpha sucked.
She shoved and wormed through the slowly parting crowd. The barrier of wolf warriors didn’t budge. I nodded my assent, and they shook their heads and moved aside as she fell to her knees.
“No!”
She collapsed on the bloody mass sprawled on the concrete sidewalk. Th
e crushed remnants of the proud man who’d been everything she held dear. The pulse within her heart, the compass of her morals.
“I’m so sorry, father. This is my fault. I’m so sorry.”
Blood saturated the area. With the warriors out of the way, the omegas near vaulted for the dorm, their screams filling the area. I couldn’t blame them.
Jesus. She shouldn’t have seen this, man. Logan’s rage filled my brain.
Evidence of his evisceration littered the area. Grey matter, entrails, and bloody lumps lay in the grass, on the hard concrete. Xan trembled, her hands sweeping along his gouged face. Bile rose in my throat when her inaudible sounds erupted into a chorus of screams that made my wolf howl. She reached for the hilt of the knife, which had been used to secure his heart in his hand.
Clear the area. Now.
I trusted my pack to handle things. Closing the distance between myself and the scene, I scanned the area and noted Macen and Riles leaving Wolf Hall, their destination obvious. I shook my head, and he nodded his. Drawing her close, they turned and headed inside.
At least one of them was spared the gristly scene. “Babe, I need to get you inside. Come on. It’s not safe for you here.”
“This is my fault.” She shook her head. “I didn’t protect my own father.” Tears trekked down her cheeks. “I should’ve known they’d react. I don’t understand. He was too powerful. How? How, Lane? How?”
Prying her fingers from the hilt, I lifted her into my arms and sprinted toward the building. A couple of warriors vaulted up the steps and held the door open. I didn’t give a damn what happened outside as long as Xan was secure in here. Logan could deal with the pack, the cleanup with campus security, ROAR, whoever the fuck gave a damn about an eviscerated angel being dropped on the entryway of Wolf Hall like a silent offering.
Or warning.
I should’ve known they’d react.
Who the fuck were they?
Questions sprang forward in my mind as I went up the stairs and headed to my room. The door was partway open. I growled my warning when Macen turned to face me.
“Where’s Riles?”
“Our room. Thanks for the heads-up. I’ll go help Logan secure the perimeter. I’m calling in favors from the local packs. I’ll coordinate with the Alphas and increase patrols.” He looked at the bloodied bundle listless in my arms. “You got this, man?”
“Yeah. Go.”
I sat on my bed. She rocked back and forth, her hands drawn to her body, eyes widened, mouth moving though no words escaped. “Xan, focus on me.”
She rocked faster, her agitation evident despite the shock. My wolf snarled, accepting the silent trust she’d placed in me to protect her. I’d kill anyone, anything who dared come near her.
The door creaked open. A warning rumble rose in my throat.
“Oh, shut it, fur ball.” Vira kicked the door shut, dagger in one hand, sword in the other. “I see shit hit the next level. I’m thinking it’s time we stop playing nice.”
“I’m thinking if you want to breathe, you’re stepping out and away from her.”
Her gaze narrowed, and her lips thinned. “Don’t get attached to her, fleabag. She’s on my radar. People get dead when they’re on there and don’t cooperate.”
“Get. Out.”
Whipping her black, braided hair over her shoulder, she sighed and sheathed her weapons. “Someday you and I are going to have to sit down and come to an understanding.”
“Sure, when Demonia serves snow cones.”
“Macen won’t be able to keep Riles away long if she gets wind of what went down outside. Go. Get her cleaned up. I’ll stand guard until your fur balls return.”
I snarled and headed toward the bathroom. Tomorrow, we’d have a conversation about respect. I needed to get Xandra sorted. How or why I trusted a demon to help mystified me. I held no illusions her presence here was for me or Xan. Her involvement was for Riles.
I couldn’t help but wonder if all the mess outside was, too.
Chapter Five
“Heaven knows its time; the bullet has its billet.”
—Sir Walter Scott, Count Robert of Paris
Xandra
I closed my eyes beneath the splatter of warm water, wishing the pelting droplets would drown me, cleanse my soul of the shame, the anger, the bitter pain and grief of failure. The liquid trailed down my bare skin and circled the drain between my feet, crimson pools of yet another death staining my hands.
Tears ran down my face unchecked, a storm amidst the hurricane. Lane stood behind me, the constant shadow I couldn’t shake. Truthfully, I didn’t want to. I’d done nothing to deserve his protection, the care he used when holding me in place, eyes cast downward whenever possible. His soothing, husky voice was my buoy.
“Talk to me, Xan. Don’t hold the pain inside. Scream, cry, beat the shit out of me. Do something. Anything.”
The exhaustion I’d battled for days consumed me, fueled by the emotional explosion burning me whole. The dead body dropped should’ve been me. My last conversation with him sliced through me, carving my soul into small chunks I’d never reconstruct.
My blood had murdered my blood. The two beasts in me warred, tearing into each other as my mind raced to translate, fathom how or why Uncle Lucian killed my father. Did Baldar commit the slaughter on his own?
No. The grim fact was I’d known all along the king was a monster. I’d done enough evil deeds in his name to know all too well what he was capable of. I’d been a fool to think he maintained a moral code of some sort, a line he wouldn’t cross.
His blood surged in my veins. I clawed at my skin, wanting to purge myself of the beast akin to his. Lane grasped my wrists and restrained them against me. Hot breath fanned my earlobe.
“Hurting yourself isn’t on the anything list, Xan.”
“Go away.” Having him witness my meltdown made the despair a hundred times worse because I wanted to sink into his arms and forget everything existed except him. Us. Since escaping reality proved impossible, I needed a few minutes alone. “I’m too tired to handle you.”
“I can handle myself.” His voice rumbled through me, a slow, sensuous caress I craved. “When was the last time you slept?”
I sighed because I was too exhausted to respond even if I remembered the answer, which I didn’t. Leaning into his strength, I inhaled his scent. The clean, rugged, masculine musk wafted in my nostrils, a visceral medicine my beasts welcomed. My eyelids drifted shut as I blinked between the tears and forced labored breaths in and out.
“Answer me, Xan.”
“Don’t remember.” The string of cursing startled me. “I don’t sleep with someone I don’t trust near me.”
“Why haven’t you said anything?” He squeezed my arm. “You’ll stay here tonight. Okay?”
“I-I can’t.” Shaking my head, I took a couple breaths and tried again. “I’ll never sleep again.” Imagining the horrors waiting for me there made me bristle.
“We’ll get a doctor, someone to prescribe something to help you. You need sleep.”
“No. No pills.” Remain alert, defensive. They’d strike again if given half a chance. I couldn’t let Riles down. She needed me awake, ready to take on whoever proved foolish enough to attack her.
My thoughts drifted to the carnage I’d witnessed, the remnants of the man who’d been the sole good in my life. How? My brain refused to accept any plausible explanation that formed. “H-he was too strong to be killed by them. I don’t understand.”
The water stopped. Strong arms wrapped around me and lifted. I clung to him as he carried me from the shower and settled me on a towel on the bathroom counter. The ease with which he cared for me was unsettling. When was the last time someone handled me so effectively?
Never.
I’d never let anyone in so deep. I couldn’t fathom how he’d wormed past my defenses, but he had. He was so deep he saw a side of me I thought long dead. But he’d found her—the vulnerable, defenseless
woman buried beneath a warrior, an angel avenger and an assassin phoenix. He’d walked past all three and dragged the shattered, terrified woman I was and carried her from the corner.
The real me.
I wanted to crawl into the darkened shadows, skulk behind the barricades I’d constructed and trust my pseudo-persona—aka badass Xandra—to handle the fallout. I was fracturing into so many pieces I’d go crazy. And to think Baldar and Uncle Lucian thought it’d take time for Aldo to break me. Little did they know I was already broken.
Voices rose behind the closed door. I stiffened, recognizing one of them. I shook my head and shrank beneath the grim fact reality waited for me. “No. Not her. I can’t. No. No. No.”
“Stop.” Lane grabbed my face with his hands and closed the distance until his hot breath fanned my skin. He licked stray tears from my cheek. “Stay with me, Xan. If you don’t want to see Riles right now, she waits. It’s simple. But I have to say whatever bone you’re chewing on in your sexy brain, you’d better know what went down outside wasn’t your fault.”
“You can’t know,” she whispered.
“I know you better than you realize. You’ve been walking a dangerous road alone the past few weeks, trying to keep Riles and your family safe. Outside proved what I’d suspected. That was a warning and a punishment. You haven’t done something you were supposed to and pissed someone off. The ball’s in your court, Xan. I wish to fuck I could tell you otherwise, but it’s your play. You’ve gotta decide the next move. I hope you trust me with whatever’s going down, but I won’t push. Yet.”
Space. Freedom. The faith he offered, even temporarily, calmed my nerves and rattled my confidence. I’d wasted weeks and gotten my father killed as a result. What if I continued making the wrong decision? Who would be next to suffer? Riles?
