by Cara Carnes
The prominent bulge in my field of vision made my pulse quicken. His fingers threaded through my hair and tugged until my head lifted and our gazes collided. The heated intensity in the cinnamon depths stoked the embers of hope I’d let cool during the chaotic storm last night.
For a moment, I could pretend I was merely a woman, he a man. Nothing else mattered. He ran the pad of his thumb along my lips, which parted the moment he touched them. A rumble came from him, a mixture of a groan and a feral growl. My inner beasts surfaced in response, more than willing to take his wolf on in whatever sensuous delights lay in the sparking desire in his eyes.
“Tonight, we’ll try the field again so you can shift. Things are still up in the air, but with the party canceled, there’ll be time for you to let your beast stretch.”
The fact he’d considered my need from yesterday—actually remembered—made my heart thunder wildly. He cared. I swallowed the gratitude lodged in my throat, knowing any sentiment I expressed put him in danger if overheard. I squeezed his hand and smiled softly as I rose from the bed and moved away from him as quickly as possible.
Proximity to him spelled disaster for my self-control. My libido surged near him. He’d given me distance, time.
I needed was to figure out what course of action.
“We can’t cancel the party.”
“We’re not letting our pack be exposed, especially Riles. Or you.”
I shook my head. “First off, Vanessa deserves a celebration. The whole pack does. Everything with my sister was tough on everyone. Besides, isn’t Sanctuary unspoken neutral ground?”
“Not exactly,” Lane stated, his voice hesitant. “You want to celebrate someone’s birthday even though your father’s body is in the basement of Badger Hall?”
I bristled at the accusation. Processing the words was out of the question. I didn’t want to think about where he’d been put, the fact he wasn’t in a hallowed familial mausoleum guarded by the most trusted of his bloodline. Moisture pooled in my eyes. I took a couple deep breaths, forcing the acidic taste in my throat down.
“In my Realm, death is a rite of passage, an accepted step in the evolutionary process. We don’t mourn those we lose because their spirit will continue to live on. We celebrate their life by moving on with our lives. He wasn’t a good man. He got what he deserved.”
“Really?”
“Yes.” I turned from him and stepped into my shoes. “Thanks for helping last night. I-I’ll see you later. At the party.”
“Assuming I can get Macen on board with not canceling Van’s shindig. Events not nearly as bad as those last night tend to make pack sequester themselves. It’s against our nature to do otherwise.”
“Well, the party is as much for Riles as Vanessa. One of the first lessons she needs to embrace her inner animal is to understand its nature. She can’t do so if you treat her as if she is a wolf.”
“So, you’re training her?”
I shrugged noncommittally. No safe response existed. The entire discussion was a carefully worded dance in my mind, one Lane seemed to be following along with despite the cautious doubt in his gaze.
“I’ll get with him, explain things. We’ll get tonight sorted.”
“Good.” I headed toward the door, forcing myself to remain steady, focused. I halted and turned toward him after I opened the door. “Oh, and Lane? Can you get the ROAR people to contact my mother? I think I should tell her in person.”
“You don’t want to contact her yourself?”
“I have something else I need to handle, and getting ahold of someone from my Realm isn’t as simple as picking up a cell phone. They’ll know how to contact her because they volunteered to be the mediators between my family and the university officials.”
“You’ll need to contact them yourself. Something this important, they’ll need to hear the request from you.” He prowled toward me. I hovered in place, my body humming in silent awareness as he settled a few inches from me. I peered upward, suddenly too conscious of how much taller he was, how broad and commanding. “I’ll back your play, Xan, but not for long. Tonight we’re having another conversation.”
I barreled out of the room and motored through the corridor for the exit as fast as my feet would move. Time was a valuable commodity, and, somehow, I’d earned enough to have a slight chance of working out a plan of action. The last thing I needed was to still be in Wolf Hall if Lane happened to come to his senses and decide someone in his pack should follow me.
For the seeds in my brain to take full root, I needed the wolves to stay away. Although Lane was supposedly working on ensuring the party tonight happened, I needed a second force to ensure success.
Talking with Riles was out. I couldn’t maintain my unemotional veneer while in her presence, not after the bonding we’d done through tears and whispered regrets. Unease pricked my skin as I entered the isolated area between the primary portion of campus and Demonia.
The demon portion of the university wasn’t exactly my normal stomping grounds given the fact I was persona non grata, but the conversation I needed to have next would work better if I came to Vira on her turf rather than launching myself at her while she was near Riles.
“Going somewhere, sweet niece?”
I halted, my body trembling with a rage I hoped Uncle Lucian perceived as terror. Angel fire burned my fingertips, but expelling my need for vengeance accomplished nothing. He’d come to me, which meant he’d ensured his success if I struck him. My gaze flicked along the vacant lot across from me, over to the old church known as Sanctuary.
He’d chosen a good spot to confront me. Most people moving between the demon section of campus and the primary opted to use the well-worn path on the other side of the large vacant lot. I’d heard talk of a new building being constructed soon, one meant to provide additional housing for more immigrant students from Demonia. I hadn’t verified the rumor though.
“Uncle Lucian.” A tremble sounded in my voice, as though one of my beasts got into the role I intended to play. “I-I was going to talk to Vira. I’m trying to keep the birthday party on, but the wolves are wary because of what happened last night.”
“Good, they should be.” He edged to stand in front of me, his rotten teeth exposed in a maniacal smirk I wanted to rip off his face. “I trust my message was received.”
“Unnecessarily so.” I bit my tongue, welcoming the coppery bitterness of blood in my throat. Maybe the pain would curb my response. “I see you’ve chosen to make my objective harder to achieve.”
“You dare much, Xandra. You failed. Don’t place your guilt at my feet. You’ve always been too weak to do what’s necessary.” He strutted, a preening peacock, his gaze leering a moment. “Perhaps I should bring you with me and summon Aldo home early for his prize.”
“I didn’t take you for a coward, my liege. Pulling out from the objective now would give those beneath you the wrong idea. I have learned my lesson. It won’t happen again.” I swallowed a few times and forced my gaze downward. My fingers itched to grasp the hilt of my knife.
Then I remembered I was weaponless. University officials frowned upon students walking on campus fully armed, but I’d always managed to have at least a hidden blade of some form. Not today.
Last night left me defenseless, and I reeled from the horrid shock of what I’d witnessed. My mind’s eye envisioned my trembling hands bathed in blood. Nothing I did would assuage the guilt, but I refused to go down without a fight.
“You foolishly think the mission can still be a success? The demon vampire is a sharper warrior than you. Or perhaps you really are as lacking as I was told.”
“Forgive my bluntness, my liege, but your punishment last night worsened the situation. The pack won’t trust me with their weaker members now, and the vampire demon is going be more wary because she is a worthy adversary. I must beg your patience and humbly ask you to use the events from last night to our advantage.”
“How?” he asked.
&
nbsp; “Their knowledge of our Realm is what I choose it to be. As far as their Alpha is concerned, last night was a justified punishment.”
“Watching you last night, tasting your raw anguish, seeing the terror as you trembled was invigorating. Tell me, when you shivered in fear last night, was I who you thought about? Was I the nightmare in your dreams when you screamed?” Rancid breath soured my skin. “You screamed long and loud. I almost gutted the wolf holding you, though, because I didn’t appreciate how easily he calmed you.”
I clenched my fists and reflexively trembled with the rage I couldn’t dispense. He’d been there, watching my breakdown. Acting as though the slaughter didn’t break me wasn’t an option. I should’ve realized he’d bask in the torment.
I allowed the tears of shame and rage to fall down my cheeks. Each one struck my soul harder than a punch to the gut because they fed Uncle Lucian’s toxic penchant for ruining everything dear in my life. A pointed fingertip scraped from beneath my eye downward to my jawline. My skin burned from the impact, but I remained still. The coppery stench of blood struck my nostrils as the acidic scorch of phoenix toxin sank into my veins.
“From this day forward you will wear my brand, a scar I make on your soft, creamy flesh. I want every realm to know I broke you, crushed your soul. Your spirit belongs to me, Xandra. You do everything I command because you have no choice.”
I trembled, fists clenched. The boastful pride in his voice had been my objective, but I’d been woefully unprepared for the disgust his words created. My flesh burned where his nail burrowed beneath my skin. Down, then across. Again and again until the tears I’d shed earlier became ones of searing pain as my mind recreated the movements and formed the letter. L.
Phoenix toxin wasn’t lethal to me, but my angel blood weakened beneath the potency. The significance of the branding, the fact a maniacal bastard burned his initials into my flesh renewed my thirst for vengeance.
“One week. Fail me again and your sweet little sister will suffer far more than your pitiable father did. I’ll personally make sure.” He chuckled when I shuddered in revulsion. “I’ve made sure the ROAR delegate will have access to your mother. I wouldn’t want anything to prevent your precious family reunion. I’m sure she’ll have lots to say when you confess your involvement in her mate’s punishment.”
My heart seized a moment. My mother hated me for breathing after Riles disappeared. She’d expected me to die in training years ago like many weaker phoenixes did, but unfortunately—for her—I was a stronger warrior than anyone predicted.
“Have you wondered how we managed to destroy your father so easily?”
Yes. No. A part of me demanded the answer, yet the reasonable side of me realized I wasn’t prepared. I swallowed and clenched my jaw to avoid speaking. The action made me wince as a renewed singe ignited in my ruined cheek. Blood dribbled from the wound, but I forced myself to ignore it.
“It was you. He allowed us to do whatever we wanted because he knew the alternative was you taking his place. His last words were begging for your worthless life. I’ll make sure Betina knows so you don’t have to impart the tragic ending to her yourself.” He sneered as he stepped backward. “We’re watching you. I almost hope you do fail me again because I’m looking forward to being even more creative with your sister.”
The moment he disappeared I took advantage of the isolation and summoned enough angel fire to bubble me in a protective tomb. The action was a risk for many reasons—Uncle Lucian had forbidden use of my powers. So had campus officials. I had no choice.
The ROAR hotline number proved difficult to dial with my trembling right hand. A painful burn oozed in my bloodstream as I held the phone to my ear and waited. Hoped.
“This is Min.”
Asking a stranger for help went against my upbringing. Since arriving on campus, I’d tried to learn more about the mysterious pair who ran ROAR. Hui and Min. All anyone knew was they were neutral territory and often the only avenue for problems young shifters on campus could trust no matter what.
“This is Xandra. I’m visiting from the Realm. I need your help.”
“My condolences, Xandra. How may we help?”
“Can you contact my mother? I should tell her in person about my father.”
“Of course. Such tragedy can’t be conveyed any other way. We’ll begin communication attempts immediately. Anything else?” Min asked.
The question gave me the perfect opening, as if my need had been sensed. “Yes. Someone from my father’s family should be notified as well since they aren’t on speaking terms with my mother. Could you please contact my cousin, Severin. I must tell him myself. He and my father were close.”
He’d been the son I’d never been. Regret drowned me a moment. When no response came immediately, I took a deep breath and added. “Please. I really need your help. I must speak with them immediately.”
“You aren’t alone, Xandra. I’ll contact them both personally. Don’t hesitate to contact ROAR again if you need us.”
“Thank you.” I ended the call and shoved my cell in a pocket. Hopefully, they’d locate them both. At least I had ROAR in my corner.
Chapter Seven
“It is only when I dally with what I am about, look back and aside instead of keeping my eyes straight forward, that I feel these cold sinkings of the heart… But the first broadside puts all to rights.”
—The Journal of Sir Walter Scott
Xandra
By the time I tended my wound, I’d missed Vira. After a couple awkward conversations with a couple of demons and one sketchy vampire, I discovered she’d been summoned to Wolf Hall by Macen. Apparently ROAR had gotten ahold of my mother.
Why a half demon, half vampire would be wanted in the awkward discussion about to happen escaped me until I remembered Vira was a hell of a warrior. I’d have her on my side any day. Okay, I would if she weren’t trying to gut me for not helping Riles.
I motored up the stairs and down the hall toward the study. Nervousness panged my insides with a cloying need to run. The nightmarish memories of last night’s events exploded forward in my brain, a fucked-up kaleidoscope highlighting the most painful failures of my life.
I’d be a fool not to realize part of my apprehension was seeing Lane so soon after the confrontation with my uncle. He’d given me space, and I’d manage to sink deeper into the quicksand. A deep burn ran from the covered wound down my neck and through my arm and halfway down my torso on my right side.
The fact he’d chosen to numb and weaken my sword arm wasn’t lost on me. I’d always been faster, stronger with a weapon than Baldar or any of the elite assassins thanks to my angel blood. I flexed my fingers and shook my arm as much as I could outside the hallway. I wouldn’t let Lane or anyone else in the room know the wound had a horrible side effect. All I could do was hope there was enough phoenix in me to prevent a permanent injury. Even if the physical effects went away, would my angel be eternally weakened?
The repercussions caused a few moments panic until I reined it in for a later date. My mother was the bitch of the Realm on a good day, and I’d never seen her have one of those. Why I loved her mystified me, especially since I’d long ago reconciled myself to the fact half my blood came from a psychotic sociopath whose brother was a hundred times worse.
My pulse thumped in my ears the moment I entered and my gaze locked on Lane. Moisture pooled in my eyes when his eyes widened and his jaw twitched. Fuck. Someone else I’d failed.
It wasn’t like I’d planned to have a run-in with my uncle, but I should’ve done something to defend myself. Then again, any offensive measures on my end meant a potentially lethal response targeting a loved one. Preventing the latter was worth a thousand scars.
I looked away and heard a started gasp. Riles was in my face, running her hand beneath my jawline where I’d sealed the bandage shut.
“What happened?”
“Nothing. I got sloppy.”
Riles wasn’t supposed to
be here. Macen hovered near her left with Vira a couple of feet away on the right. An army of shifters, demons, and vampires couldn’t destroy my mother. The only possible advantage I had was Severin. Word of my father’s slaughter rippled through the highest angelic ranks. He’d accompany my mother whether she wanted him there or not.
Severin was my sole saving grace after Riles’s abduction. The lone surviving son of my father’s older brother—the former king of the Realm—he’d trained me on all things angel prior to my father asking him. He was the fiercest warrior I knew, save my father.
Steeling myself from the pain ravaging my insides, I settled my gaze on Macen. “She shouldn’t be here. None of you should.”
“If you think we trust you to have this conversation without us, think again.”
Riles drew me into a tight hug. I gave into the need for comfort a moment, hugging her with an intensity I hoped she understood. I’d never say so with words, but I loved her more than anyone—including myself.
A loud knock made me pull away and face the door. Macen pulled Riles behind him, and I edged to the right until I was between Lane and the door. Vira chuckled, which made my beasts rumble. Fuck her for noticing. No one would hurt him.
Tension thickened the room when the Realm delegates filed into the room. I braced myself beneath the scornful brush of my mother’s gaze when it moved from me, to Macen and Riles. She stiffened when she noticed Vira and Lane. My beasts edged forward, ready to protect whoever she chose to rip into.
I scanned her a moment, noted the dark circles beneath her reddened eyes. Guilt gnawed my gut. The last time she cried was the night Riles disappeared. “Mother, I’m glad you could come on such short notice.”
She closed the distance between us. The punch to my face, directly across the bandage, made me grunt in pain. I forced myself to remain still except for a turn of my head. I deserved her wrath, would take the fury.
