In Love and War

by Natalie Brock

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  Michael continued walking toward his barracks, looking over his shoulder to see if Mary was still following him. He knew he needed to be honest with her, but he simply wasn’t prepared to discuss it yet. He didn’t want to be a cad. After all, she was a cute kid and he really liked her, but everything changed the minute he laid eyes on Cathy at the dance.

  Michael knew his share of girls in the past and was even engaged once, but no one ever captivated him the way Cathy did. It was hard to put a finger on the reason. She wasn’t like other girls. She didn’t come on to him. She didn’t try to stroke his ego. She didn’t even flirt with him, not in an obvious way, at any rate.

  Cathy had a forthrightness he liked. She didn’t play games, and she didn’t mince words. She asked questions about him, his life, his hopes, his dreams. And she never laughed at him. She listened to him. She respected his opinion. She took him seriously. Sure, she was easy on the eyes, but she made him feel good about himself in ways he couldn’t even explain.

  That’s it! It just occurred to him that his relationship with Cathy wasn’t superficial like most every other male-female relationship he ever had. He felt like he was important to her. And even though she told him point-blank that she was interested in another man, and she only thought of Michael as a friend, he wasn’t deterred. If anything, it made him even more interested in her, more determined to win her heart.

  Then there was Mary. Sweet Mary. He couldn’t keep letting her think he wanted to see her again. He needed to figure out a way to let her down gently. He needed to be honest with her, the same way Cathy was always honest with him.

  Chapter 32

  Kay hadn’t felt this lost since Stewart died. It was late afternoon in Southampton, and she didn’t know what to do with herself, where to be, or how to act. This wasn’t her home, she wasn’t a welcome guest, and she didn’t even work here anymore. Even the base at Devonshire felt more like home than this place.

  But with the roads impassable and her departure date uncertain, Kay needed to make the best of things. So she decided to take a walk around the grounds at Merrifield. Maybe if she learned the lay of the land here, she’d feel a bit more comfortable. So she walked through one of the many doors leading outside to the expansive estate grounds.

  Merrifield was beautiful, really. Shrubbery, statues, gardens, trees, every bit of the estate was in perfect condition. Come to think of it, a little too perfect. She noticed on her first day here that it felt more like a museum than a home, and nothing had occurred to change her mind. “Probably because the proprietor is so darn cold-hearted,” she mumbled to herself.

  She walked by the stables and stopped to look in. Finally a place that felt like home. It reminded her of the ranch she grew up on back in California and the horses that were like her family pets. She adored those horses. Arabians and Appaloosas, Pintos and Palominos. She grew up with them and she grew to love them all. Some of her favorite childhood memories were made riding those thoroughbreds.

  Voices coming from inside the stable drew her in. Then a man pulling the reins of a horse walked into view. “Now what?” Alexander was clearly annoyed to see her there.

  For some reason, she didn’t think Alexander would be a rider. He certainly looked handsome in his breeches. Then again, she had yet to see him not look handsome. “I’m sorry. I was just taking a walk. I’ll get out of your way.” Kay turned to leave as quickly as she could.

  “Wait!” Alexander commanded. “Do you ride?”

  Kay stopped mid-stride and chewed on her lip. Was Mr. Aloof asking her to go riding?? She couldn’t help but smile as she turned around to face Alexander. “I do. And yes, I’d love to.”

  “I’ll have our groomsman find you some appropriate riding clothes.” Alexander remained cold and distant as he dropped the reins of his horse and disappeared into the corral.

  Kay approached the horse and showed him her open palm. The horse licked her hand and Kay stroked his coat. When Alexander returned and saw Kay petting the stallion, he had a strange look on his face, something akin to jealousy, she thought.

  “The stable master will help you.” Alexander bowed his head briefly, seized the reins of his horse, and led him away from Kay. She stood there perplexed for a few minutes. Somehow, she got the wrong impression. She thought Alexander asked her to go riding with him. But now that he left without her, she realized that he was merely giving her permission to go riding herself. She had hoped that he was starting to warm up to her and that they would get to know each other a bit better, but alas, it was just a fantasy. She was only seeing what she wanted to see. In reality, Sir Fielding was still stale toast -- as cold and crusty as ever.

  But Kay was excited about horseback riding, so she put on the riding clothes she was given and the stable master assigned her a grey Welsh pony named Crowley. Kay mounted the horse and the stable master led her outside.

  Kay was surprised to see Alexander seated atop his horse, straight and tall, as if he were posing for a portrait. She had no idea that he was waiting for her.

  “Ready?”

  Chapter 33

  As she went about her daily work routine, Mary found that missed Kay even more than she expected to. She and Kay developed an instant affinity and they shared a lot of the same opinions about the things that went on at the base. She was like a big sister to Mary.

  Plus Kay had been a really strong support. Without her here, there was only Sal, whose cynicism was depressing; and Ned, whose persistent pursuit was exhausting. Of course there was Michael, but he wasn’t a friend, he wasn’t someone she could share everything with, at least not yet -- especially since he was among the topics she wanted to talk to Kay about.

  And then there was David. He was a tough nut to crack. Out of everyone she worked with, he was the only one who remained distant. But Mary liked hard cases, so she gave him another try.

  “Are you going to the movie tonight?” Mary asked after she finished treating a couple patients with minor cuts and scrapes. Her question was met with a grunt. So she tried again, this time walking around David and standing right in front of him so he couldn’t ignore her.

  “I asked if you’re going to the movie tonight.”

  “I don’t know anything about a movie on base.”

  “They’re playing Gone With the Wind. I’ve never seen it. Have you?”

  David looked up from the chart he was filling out and got a far-away look in his eye. “Yes.” His attention returned to the chart, but not to Mary.

  “You’re not much of a conversationalist, are you?”

  That statement got David’s attention. He remembered saying those exact words to Cathy a few weeks before. Finally, he smiled at Mary. He had a magnetic smile. Mary thought it was a shame that she didn’t see it more often.

  “I saw that movie with my ... my late wife.”

  Mary’s lips parted. “Oh, um. I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to make you think of something sad.”

  David shook his head. “It’s okay. My memories of Judith don’t make me sad. They were good memories.”

  Hmmm, that was almost a real conversation with David. But Mary had a one-track mind, and it was time to get back to the topic at hand. “I want to go see the movie,” she said, “but I don’t want to go alone.”

  David looked at Mary, trying to figure out what she was asking. “Why don’t you go with Ned? He seems quite taken with you.”

  “Taken? Ugh. I’d like to take him and toss him into the English Channel,” she said.

  David let out a laugh. “I see your point. But there must be someone else you could go with. Didn’t you tell me you had a boyfriend here on base?”

  Mary was surprised David remembered that. “Yeah, but Michael can’t go. ... If Kay were here, I’d go with her.”

  “You miss her, don’t you?”

  Mary nodded. “She’s my best friend out here.”

  “She’s a very kind person. Very caring with her patient
s. You can learn a lot from her,” David advised.

  “Oh I definitely do! I learn from everyone. But I don’t always like what I learn,” Mary said sadly.

  “Oh? Like what?”

  “Like the advice I got from Major Bradley,” Mary said. She shot David a look, unsure if she should be talking to the head surgeon about the head nurse.

  “What did Major Bradley say?”

  “Um. She told me I need to get tougher. She said in order to be a good nurse, I need to become ... um ... hardened ... or something like that.”

  David nodded slowly but didn’t say anything.

  “Do you think that’s true, Dr. Mason?”

  David looked at Mary for moment before finally speaking. “Yes. And no. Some situations call for being tough. But ... there are other situations that call for compassion. Then there are those situations where the lines blur, where being tough is being compassionate.”

  Mary knit her brow. “I don’t understand.”

  David spoke slowly. “What I’m saying is that there are a lot of different ways to help patients -- not all of them through medicine. You need to evaluate each patient and each situation individually.”

  A smile slowly spread over Mary’s face. It was as if David turned on a light for her. Being tough wasn’t the point of nursing. There was far more to it than that, and David helped her realize that she shouldn’t be trying to emulate Sal. She had a new admiration for Dr. Mason and she felt like she found a new friend.

  David smiled back at Mary as if he were reading her thoughts. “So,” he said, “what do you say we blow this gin joint and go see a movie together?”

  Chapter 34

  Alexander was about to ride off on his horse, but something stopped him. He looked backward toward the stable and his heart stirred. It had been so long since his heart felt anything -- anything at all -- that he almost didn’t recognize it. But there it was, and he could deny it no longer. He was attracted to the blue-eyed blond doctor.

  As he sat on his horse deciding whether to stay or go, it occurred to him that what he was feeling wasn’t really new at all. After all, wasn’t he the one who made certain she would remain at Merrifield even after Welles died?

  So often since she arrived in Southampton, he wanted to open up to her, but he snapped at her instead, making sure to keep his fortress intact, with him on the inside and Kay outside his walls. He wasn’t ready for any emotional attachment. He wasn’t ready to let her in. But he wasn’t ready to let her go either. He never used to be this indecisive and he chided himself for behaving like a confused adolescent.

  At last, Kay emerged from the stable, looking quite comely in her riding outfit. Alexander almost commented about how lovely she looked, but his standoffish demeanor prevailed. “Ready?”

  Kay nodded, but she didn’t really know what she was agreeing to. “Come,” Alexander ordered as he kicked his heels against the sides of his horse. Kay followed suit and trotted behind Alexander. She and Crowley followed Alexander for quite a ways.

  She wasn’t quite sure when it happened, but she finally relaxed. Riding a horse gave her a peaceful feeling and it felt like home. So Kay took in the scenery, the white cliffs atop rolling hills under a clear blue sky. The countryside was so serene that Kay almost forgot there was a war being waged close-by, and that she was riding behind Alexander, who never even looked back to see if she was keeping pace with him.

  Finally, Kay sped up to ride alongside Alexander, so he had to acknowledge her presence. “Do you ride often?” She figured small talk was pretty safe, but when he eyed her without a word, she realized she was mistaken. “What’s your horse’s name?” Kay thought a more direct question might help to thaw the iceberg wedged between Alexander Fielding’s eyes.

  “Name is Astrid,” he replied looking straight ahead, no warmth in his voice.

  “Pretty name. I never heard of it before. What does it mean?”

  “Aren’t you the inquisitive one?” Alexander answered, still pointedly avoiding looking at Kay. “It’s from the Latin. Means ‘disaster.’ Just like my life.”

  What an odd thing to say to a perfect stranger, Kay thought. For someone so cold and distant, he sometimes surprised her by giving her these small glimpses into his character. He hardly said anything personal to her the whole time she’d been at Merrifield, and with just a few words here and there, he told her way more than he probably meant to.

  Alexander must have gotten a bit self-conscious too, because he took off, riding at a fast clip, most likely to escape any more of Kay’s questions.

  Kay urged her horse to ride faster in an effort to keep up with Alexander’s horse. At this point, it seemed like Alexander was just showing off, racing like a blooming idiot, as he himself might say. Kay was just about to abandon her efforts to catch up with him when she saw Astrid throw Alexander. Kay gasped as she watched him hurtling through the air and landing hard on the ground below. Astrid kept running, leaving his master behind on the ground.

  Kay rode quickly to where Alexander landed and she dismounted Crowley. Alexander was out cold. She took his wrist and felt for a pulse, which was quite strong. She began squeezing his legs, one at a time to see if anything was broken. She unbuckled his boots to check his ankles.

  Alexander came to, and managed to sit up part-way. “Get your bloody hands off me. What in heaven’s name do you think you’re doing?”

  Kay looked at Alexander and she was fuming. She got up off the ground and wiped her hands together to get the dirt off, then she dusted her pants off. She walked toward her horse and put her foot in the stirrup, when Alexander screamed in agony.

  “Damn it to hell,” he said after a failed attempt to get up off the ground. He landed back on his ass. With one foot in a stirrup, Kay watched him struggle to get up again. He got as far as knees.

  She took her foot out of the stirrup and walked over to him. She looked down at him kneeling on the ground in front of her and put her hands on her hips. “I don’t care who you are or who you know or how much money you have, or if you are related to King George himself. None of that means anything to me. All I know is that you’ve been horrible to me since the moment I arrived at Merrifield. You’ve been mean and cruel and rude as hell, and I don’t deserve it! All I’ve been trying to do is help. And right now, I’d like nothing more than to be back home in Sacramento where I never have to see your face or hear your voice again. But I’m stuck here. And as much as I’d like to just leave you here so you can crawl back to the stable by yourself, I can’t. I’m a doctor and I took an oath to help people. So ... do you want my help or not?”

  For just a moment, Kay thought she saw a faint smile cross Alexander’s face, but it quickly turned into a pained grimace. Still kneeling on the ground, Alexander looked downward and nodded his head.

  “I didn’t hear you,” Kay said, determined not to let him off easy.

  Alexander looked up at her. “Yes, Miss Nolan, I want your help.”

  “It’s Dr. Nolan. And I don’t think I heard you say ‘please.’”

  Alexander took a deep breath and nodded again. “Please.”

  Kay helped Alexander stand up. He leaned on her heavily and they walked to Kay’s horse. Alexander started to get on the horse. “Wait,” Kay stopped him. “Me first.” Kay mounted Crowley. Then Alexander put his good foot in one stirrup, and lifted his other leg over the stallion. “Hold on tight,” Kay said. Alexander put his arms around Kay’s waist and she guided Crowley back to the stable.

  Chapter 35

  James helped Alexander to the bed in the guest bedroom on the main floor, the one that Kay had been given.

  Kay retrieved her medical bag from the library, where her previous patient had stayed. James approached her as she entered the bedroom.

  “Shall I order a splint from the Surgery?” James asked.

  “A splint? No, he doesn’t need a splint.”

  “But his leg ... it’s broken.”

  Kay cocked her head and looke
d at Alexander lying in her bed, gazing out the window. “I have everything I need, James. Thank you,” she said.

  “Everything except a room to sleep in,” James noted. “Since Sir Alexander will need to occupy this bedroom because he can’t negotiate the staircase, we’ll prepare another room where you can sleep.”

  Kay smiled. “Thank you James. I appreciate your thoughtfulness.”

  “Tis nothing, Doctor. Please let me know if I can be of further service.”

  James left and Kay rummaged through her medical bag.

  “Is there a splint in there?” Alexander asked weakly as he watched Kay look inside the bag.