The Right Direction

by Kathy Coopmans

  Caroline came back in, and without saying a word again, she held me in her arms while I continued to mourn the loss of the man I loved most of my life and the child we created.

  The weeks that followed led me down a different road. One where I moved in with Caroline, who is still my best friend. The woman is a sister to me. I don’t think anyone knows me better than she does. Not that I have many friends to choose from. I tend to work a little too hard to try and make time for friends.

  I threw away my phone, walked away from the other half of my soul, and I’ve been living half of a life since. I wasn’t about to have him give up on his dream. I switched my major and enrolled at Loyola, where I unexpectedly decided to become a lawyer, and vowed to never rely on anyone except myself again.

  Caroline and I were both sick of the cold winters by the time we finished school. So, I applied to every firm on the west coast I could find. I prayed I would intern in Los Angeles, where Caroline had already been placed to do her residency. With a stroke of luck and hours of proving I wasn’t a minnow in the shark pool waiting to be swallowed up, Clark & Associates hired me. I’ve been dividing my time working at their LA and San Diego offices ever since.

  “Ms. Reynolds, did you hear me?”

  “I’m…I’m sorry, Your Honor,” I stutter, trying to shake away the ghosts that are sticking to me like glue. I peer up to meet his sad yet disapproving eyes.

  “Your client is free to go provided he doesn’t leave Los Angeles County, and the court, along with the district attorney’s office, will take into consideration your plea and contact you. I would like to advise both you and Mr. Nixon to stay clear of the press for a while.” I sigh in relief. I need to get the hell out of here before I crack.

  “We certainly will. Thank you, Your Honor.” We rise. Roman nor I have spoken one word to each other since I last saw him sitting in jail. A place where he does not belong. The only thing he’s done was wince when I admitted the woman he was defending was me.

  I’m not sure what to even say at this point. I drove up here in a rush last night after agreeing to do this. I haven’t slept at all. Now that it’s over, I would like to go back home and drink myself into a coma.

  “Thank you for helping me. Can we go somewhere and talk, please?” Oh God. I’m not doing this now. Not here.

  I’m not sure how long I stand next to him with the thought I may never see him again pounding for me to open the door to my chest so he can jump in and take over. I know it's long enough for everyone but Marcus to wander out of here and leave us alone. It doesn’t matter that we are in a public courtroom. All I want to do is throw myself into his arms and finally allow him to ease the voided ache inside of me that’s been there since the day he left.

  There really isn't any reason for me to stay, though, is there. Many miles and years have separated us. Fear sits there like a fuming sphere thrusting me toward an anxiety attack. I won’t let it win, nor will I give in to the craving to have him hold me.

  It took me a long time to become the strong woman I am. I might love being in the spotlight in court, but to have the entire world look at me now is enough to make me throw up.

  “No, we can’t. There isn’t anything to talk about, Roman. I’ve done my job. Consider it pro bono. I’ll contact Marcus once I hear from the courts. I’m almost positive the charges will be dropped. Just please stay away from those sons of bitches like you were asked.” I shuffle the few notes I jotted down into my briefcase, turn on my heels, and halt. “It wasn’t your fault, you know. None of it. It was mine. I’m the one who needs to apologize. I’m sorry, Roman. Sorry for everything.” There’s a quiver in my voice. If I don’t walk away now, I’ll never get out of here. I shuffle forward, latch my hand around the door only to feel the heat coming from him directly behind me.

  “Don’t do this, Joslyn. For one, you need to let Marcus lead you out of here. Two, I really wish we could go somewhere to talk. Three, please tell me you are not married?” he murmurs. His hands are caging me in as the front of his body flattens up against my back. I glance at Marcus, who has his back to us, his phone to his ear. Nice. The man is probably used to seeing shit like this from his clients.

  “Quit saying my name like that. Why do you care if I’m married or not?” The way he says my name as if he wants to bury himself inside of me sends a sharp pang to my core. I try to push him off me. Totally the wrong thing to do. Roman is hard everywhere. I feel his erection for a brief second before I’m spun around to face him. His eyes drift from my mouth to my neck to my chest and back up to catch me in his web. This man has me whimpering inside, and quite frankly, that scares me. There’s so much bottled up in there I’m ready to combust.

  “I can’t stop saying your name. I won’t stop saying it. I’ve kept Joslyn Reynolds locked away in my heart and mind for years. I searched for you. Did you know that? You and me, we have unfinished business to talk about. You are not leaving. Do you get me? Answer the question. Are you married?” I scoff. I should lie and tell him yes.

  “No, I’m not. And yes, Roman. I knew you would search for me. I’m sorry. God help me, I am.” Suddenly, I’m caged in by the warmth of his body as flames are shooting out of his eyes. If my arms weren’t locked down tight at my sides, I’d throw out an uppercut and knock him on his ass the same way he did to the bastard who started my spiral back to hell again.

  Both of our gazes drop when his hand slides up the inside of my bare thigh. His touch ignites a spark that’s been snuffed out for a long, long time. I do everything in my power to overturn the trembling at the bolt of electricity that strikes my core and makes me wet. His thick, hard need is much more noticeable than mine; in fact, it’s burning me up with memories of just how well this man knows how to use what he’s been blessed with, but if I allow him to inch those talented fingers any higher, it won’t be. I’ll be soaking the barely-there thong I‘m wearing.

  His touch is so damn potent to my soul. I cannot deny it feels good, not even to myself. I slide my eyes back up his firm body; his chest is heaving as much as mine. He looks so darn good it’s making my eyes hurt. I feel myself weakening everywhere.

  “I swear to God, if this place didn’t have cameras, I’d turn you over my knee and spank your ass until it’s as red as your dress. Don’t you ever apologize to me again for something you had no control over. I was in shock when you told me about the baby. I said the wrong thing, and I’ve lived with those words burning a hole in my gut every day. Now, tell me this. Are you going to deny the chemistry floating in the air between us? I can hear it ready to crack. I can smell it filling the air. You can run back home. Just remember I’m coming for you this time, and when I do, you better be prepared. The way I see things is, the love we shared has always been strong enough to make me not forget a thing when it comes to you. It’s unstoppable. Fate brought you to me. I hated her until you walked back into my life today. I’ll be fucking damned if I’m not grabbing hold of what’s been given to me. I’m sorry you lost our baby. I’m sorry for the pain these couple of days have caused you. What I won’t apologize for is wanting you so bad my dick aches. It’s going to happen. I’m going to fuck you like you used to want me to. I’m going to make you come until you see the moon, the stars, and the sun. Welcome to my team, Miss Reynolds. You’ve just become my full-time attorney, and I’m not taking no for an answer from you ever again.”

  Chapter 3

  Roman

  I nearly flew over the top of her to choke the shit out of the district attorney when he greeted her. All polished with his hair sleeked back, expensive pansy-ass suit. Hand resting on her back as they huddled and talked. I wanted to break his fingers one by one when she laughed at something he said.

  I let him get away with touching her when I could not. Because the truth is, I was more concerned about what all of this was doing to her. Why she showed up to help me when she not once sought me out before this. I understand it’s her name being tossed around. But for her to show up to help me
now didn’t make a lick of sense at first.

  It does now. I get it without even having to ask her. The guilt is eating away at her, too. This incredible woman gave me up so I could follow through with my dream. It should piss me off that she never returned my calls and walked away without a backward glance. It doesn’t. If anything, it makes me want her all the more. Call me dumb, crazy, stupid or whatever else. This is my life, my story, and I’ll do what I want. I have no one tying me down to give and take the only thing I’ve ever wanted to please and possess.

  From day one, I’ve been drawn to her like a moth to light. She’s drawn to me, too. She can deny it until her smooth skin turns the same shade of blue as her eyes. Christ, beautiful and talented and soon to be mine. The woman takes my breath away. My little someday all grown up. Never saw anything more welcoming in my life.

  Sweet sugar and burning spice. My senses welcome it. My tongue is wanting more than a taste; it craves a bite.

  My firm dick jolts when a slight gasp escapes her mouth. I can see the speedy rap of her pulse on the side of her neck. I place my mouth over it, lick and suck. Smile over the quickening struggles of her heavy breath. She’s turned the fucked on. That’s all the proof I need to show me that what I just threatened her with more than likely has her wet between those heavenly thighs. What I wouldn’t give right now to drop to my knees and eat her the fuck out. I’m so lost in her that I don’t hear Marcus walk up behind me.

  “Hate to break this up, but I need to get her out of here. Give us five then walk on out, and for fuck’s sake, don’t say a word. I don’t care what they try and goad you with.”

  As long as I’ve known Marcus and as close as he is with everyone in the band, he has not once gone behind our backs and done a damn thing without running it by us first. The guy holds many secrets inside the vault he calls his head. We aren’t his only clients with secrets. Ours are minor compared to some of the shit he’ll die with stored up there. How in the fuck he knew how to find Joslyn beats the shit out of me. I’m glad he did.

  I sat next to her barely listening to anyone else. The sound of her voice had me in a trance. The smell of her all around me had my cock throbbing.

  The damn woman blew my fucking mind when she talked about me. Not sure if she really had been paying attention to my career all these years or not, but hearing the implication behind her words made me think she knows more about me than I do her.

  I knew she wouldn’t go down without fighting for what was right. Never did I think she would shove herself to the ground to make it loud and clear that not only what he did was wrong, but it’s costs her, too. A loss that still impacts every part of my being. In the beginning, there were days when I felt as if I had a mental tornado running a rage through my skull and destroying everything in its path to make a beeline straight for my heart.

  “We need to get out of here, Roman. You two can cozy up another time.” We most definitely will.

  My fingers tingle from touching her silky skin as I watch her tug open the door and walk away from me with Marcus by her side for the second time in less than two hours. I stand there trying to calm the hell down until I hear a scream rip from a woman’s throat so loud it pierces my ears and stabs me in the gut.

  It’s her.

  “Get off her, you crazy fucks!” Marcus yells. I whip open the door to chaos all around as dozens of paparazzi surround Joslyn, while Markus hollers and tries to shove them away. How in the fuck did they get past security? Goddamn leeches. I hate them. Every last one.

  “Miss Reynolds, are you and Mr. Nixon back together? Can you tell us what you remember about the accident? Have you ever tried looking for your parents? Roman and you were foster brother and sister, correct? How long have the two of you been seeing each other? Are you the reason why he filed for divorce?”

  They are attacking her from every direction. Jesus fucking Christ. It’s like a sudden flash mob with a variety of lights going wild. All of them shoved in her face asking questions that will destroy her worse than she already is.

  “Hey, I’m not afraid to knock all of you on your asses. I don’t care if you’re a woman or not. Get the hell off her. She has nothing to say,” I holler, fists clenched tight at my sides. I shove as many of them out of my way until I reach a red-faced, angered Joslyn. Taking hold of her sweaty hand, I drag her right through the madness and back into the courtroom while the shouting continues and an alarm goes off. Marcus is used to this shit. It’s one of the things I pay him for, but this, this is a bunch of fucking bullshit.

  “You need to arrest every single one of those motherfuckers out there and sue the shit out of whoever they work for. I also suggest you get better security around here. There has to be a law about that bullshit I just witnessed out there. You okay?” My chest is heaving when I spit my words out to the judge, who’s standing outside of the door he just walked through looking irate and flustered. I rotate toward Joslyn after telling him what I think of the crap I just witnessed. He doesn’t even know what being flustered is. Judge or not, he soon will if he doesn’t get us the hell out of here.

  “I’m fine.” She melts into my side. Closer to me than she’s been in years. Feels better than I remember. Except, I shouldn’t be holding her over what happened. I should be holding her because she wants me to. Apprehension. It’s stifling the air. Stiffens her body when I wrap my arms around her.

  “Trust me, Mr. Nixon, it will be handled. Ms. Reynolds, I apologize for what they did to you. I can assure you we will get to the bottom of this. You have my word. I can get an officer in here if you’d like to press harassment charges. If not, I can have one guide you safely through my private office. We can set up a car to take both of you wherever you need to go.” Thank fuck.

  “We’d like to leave,” I answer for her. Cautiously. The last thing any of us need is these people hounding us more. It’s already spreading, and the ruckus isn’t even completely calmed down yet. It’s only the beginning of the shitstorm that’s about to rain down. I’m used to seeing how these inhuman fuckers work. Joslyn, not so much.

  We follow him through his chamber, out a side door, and down a long hallway. By the time we get to the exit door, he’s made a call, and there’s a dark exterior sedan with tinted windows waiting.

  “Get in.” I open the door while I look around for signs of a hoarder hiding in this alley. Satisfied there isn’t one, I nod my gratitude to the judge, slide in the car, and slam the door. I expect her to squawk and argue when I rattle off my home address. She does nothing but stare out the window as we pull out into traffic.

  I pull out my phone, tap out a quick text to Marcus to tell him to get ahold of my PR and to schedule some sort of press release before this all blows out of proportion. I will not be undermined or ambushed like this again. I want to put a bullet in Gwen’s big fat mouth for starting this crap. She’s damn lucky I know for a fact she took off to Florida in what she stated was a much-needed getaway to clear her head. Dumb bitch has nothing upstairs to clear.

  “You sure you're okay?” Instead of answering me, she reaches into her briefcase to retrieve her ringing phone.

  “Chad.” I cringe at the sound of another man’s name coming out of her mouth. He better be a fucking friend, or I’ll flip my shit. I’m not oblivious thinking she hasn’t been with other men; there’s something about the way she said his name that clings to my skin like dirt. The guy is important to her. Goddamn it.

  “I know. I’ll call you when I get to my apartment.” Her voice wavers on confusion. She’s angry and scared. I don’t think so, baby. You aren’t going anywhere. Not after that scene back there. Joslyn isn’t fooling anyone. She’s strong in all kinds of ways yet fragile in ways she hides. It’s as if she’s sheltered all her pain away to calm everyone else down. It’s always been that way with her. Putting others before herself while shoving her own feelings down. It’s no wonder she sacrificed her face to help mine.

  “I’m here to tell you it could be a while before you c
an go home. These people are not the respectable red carpet reporters. There’s a difference. The paparazzi will chase someone down in order to snap the right photo. They’ve run people off the road, chased them into alleys, and cornered their kids. They stalk, and they get away with it. You might want to warn your boyfriend about them snooping around.” She ignores me. This isn’t the right time for my cock to go crazy, but he does. Her stubbornness turns me on. She’s lucky I can’t throw her over my shoulder and paddle her sweet little ass.

  “Excuse me. Can you take me to 1099 Hill Street, please?” The driver eyes me, lingers on her a little too long for my liking, then shifts back to me again. I shake my head, push the button on the side of the door, and listen to her blow out a frustrated breath when the black glass divider crawls up.

  “Roman, this is not a game. We aren’t kids anymore. I have a life, and you have barged right into it and blown me over. I’m not going to your house with… wh—what are you doing?” Her loud voice carries throughout the car when I grip hold of her waist.

  “You’re right. This isn't a fucking game.” Fuck this Chad. I’ll deal with who he is in a minute. I shut her up by sliding her ass over, pressing gently on the exposed skin of her chest to push her down. I slam my mouth on hers. My hand is cradling the back of her head to fist her hair and save it from thumping on the armrest.

  Her never-forgotten taste consumes my mouth. Her curves pressed tightly to me have my hands wanting to rip this dress right the hell off her in order for me to sit back and admire all of her. I could do it for days, and I still wouldn’t get my eyeful. Her mouth. God, her mouth; it’s as wicked as it is sweet. I’d die a happy man to have her mouth wrapped around my cock. Well, not entirely true. I’m not ready to die yet. Not when I’ll fight with all I’ve got to have her back in my life.