“You’re a bad, bad boy, Eli. You should go before I chase you out the door.”
“Not until I have another bowl of soup,” he said as he ladled out another helping.
Ella thought about this news as Eli finished his meal in silence.
When he finally got ready to leave, Eli turned at the door and said, “Thanks for supper then. I will be back.”
“You had better give me some notice,” Ella said. “Especially if Pam comes along.”
“I will,” he said. “And don’t worry so much.” He waved and was out the door.
Ella listened to his Englisha car starting up, the sound dying away as he drove off.
So Robert is who he says he is. She got up and paced the floor, considering the ramifications.
The clock said nine o’clock, and Ella was tired, but she retrieved her journal to write a short note. The day seemed to merit it: The day Ivan had been buried and life already was moving on at a dizzying pace.
Dear Journal,
The funeral of Ivan Stutzman was today, his death a day ago totally unexpected. I was called to his side to receive his last request—that his girls stay with me. I am as surprised as anyone, but certainly have no regrets. It is not how I would have chosen to receive them, but I have learned the hard way that Da Hah usually has His own plans.
Eli was here with the news that Robert is apparently who he says he is. I’m too tired right now to know what all that will mean, if anything. Things always seem to run off in the direction I least expect. I told Robert to stay away from me, so I suppose it really doesn’t matter. What man would come back after such a send–off?
I can easily think of myself as an old maid—growing old alone with the girls. It is a life not unfulfilling in the least. I could watch them grow up, leave for school, join the young folks, and eventually marry. I cannot imagine any other end for all three of them. They are the sweetest little things, but who knows what will happen next? With as many plans and thoughts as I’ve had, life still does what it wishes.
What if I could find real love again…like Aden and I had? Not the kind that might lie somewhere in the future, but the kind that stares me in the face and leaves me breathless with its wonder and warmth.
I laugh at the thought of it. I know I’m cynical, but I think I have some right to be. Things haven’t been easy for me. Not that I want to complain, but there, I said it anyway. There doesn’t seem much good in life that doesn’t get beaten to death or taken away.
It would be just like life to starve me in this house of mine, with three girls to take care of, forcing me to take the next hand of marriage that’s offered me. Even if he’s some old geezer on his last legs!
See, I told you I’m cynical, but at least I can still laugh at myself. I laugh and I am tired of it all. I don’t want to think anymore. I don’t want to plan anymore. I just want to spend time with the girls and work till I’m too tired to move. I think my heart will just have to get used to it.
Ella smiled and closed the tablet carefully. She carried the kerosene lamp behind the curtain and set it down on the dresser. She put the journal in its place and then looked at the three girls as they slept. How sweet they were…and now they were hers to raise. Her heart swelled at the thought.
With one last look, Ella blew out the lamp and undressed in the darkness. She slipped into the bed and drew the covers up to her chin. “Protect us, Da Hah,” she whispered. “Keep us safe, as we need You now more than ever.”
Forty-one
It was the middle of February. Ella stood by the barn watching the blaze of orange and red left by the setting sun. It meant another day tomorrow of cold, clear weather, dashing her hopes for signs of spring.
“What a beautiful sunset,” Ronda called from the front door.
“Yah,” Ella said.
“Spring is coming soon.”
“I sure haven’t seen any signs of it.”
“You have to believe it’s coming,” Ronda said. “You ought to bring your girls out so they can enjoy the view. It’s really special tonight.”
As if on cue, the basement door creaked open, and Mary’s and Sarah’s heads popped over the edge of the steps.
“I guess they heard us talking,” Ella said. “Come over here, girls.”
“What is it?” Mary asked.
“It’s a beautiful sunset,” Ella said, motioning to the west.
The two girls ran past the house and looked toward the sky.
“It’s beautiful,” Mary said.
“Yah,” little Sarah managed to say.
“Da Hah is good,” Ronda said.
Ella nodded. That was true, regardless of her mixed feelings at present.
They stood together for long moments as the color deepened and then began to fade.
“I guess nothing lasts forever,” Ronda said.
That’s true,” Ella said, her spirits sinking further.
“Looks like you have visitors,” Ronda said, glancing toward Chapman Road.
Ella pulled her eyes from the sky and followed Ronda’s gaze.
“I’m not expecting anyone,” Ella said. “Do you know something I don’t?”
“Nee,” Ronda said. “I don’t know anything but that buggy’s comin’ this way, and I’d best be gettin’ into the house.”
“You can stay. I really don’t care.”
“Nee,” Ronda said over her shoulder. “I think not.”
The door closed behind Ronda, and Ella turned with a sigh as buggy wheels rattled into the driveway. The buggy door was closed on her side, so she couldn’t see who it was, but what did it matter? No one arriving could change anything. Da Hah might paint His glory in the skies, but on earth He used an awfully rough brush.
Out of the buggy a man’s legs came, his feet hitting the ground. For a few seconds they didn’t move.
He must be searching for his tie rope under the seat, Ella thought. It’s likely some incompetent poor farmer from the north who can’t even find his own rope in his own buggy. This serves me about right. I’ve turned down some of the best men in the community, and this is all that’s left for me.
The rope dangled out from under the buggy just before the man finally moved, his voice speaking softly to his horse.
Ella turned to the girls and said, “Girls, why don’t you run back inside where it’s warm and watch baby Barbara. I’ll be down soon.”
Mary nodded and grabbed Sarah’s hand. They scurried off.
Turning back to the buggy, she nearly let out a cry as she saw that Robert Hayes was walking toward her.
“From your reaction, I must be a ghost,” he said, smiling gently. “Does the good woman of the house accept callers this time of the evening?”
“Why are you here?” she whispered.
“What a greeting!” he said. “I remember you told me not to come back. Shall I leave then?”
“Robert!” she said, pressing her hands against her face. “I think you know I don’t want you to leave. I’m so sorry about everything.”
“What is there to be sorry about?” he asked, coming closer.
“Everything.”
“But it wasn’t your fault.”
“Why are you still here among us? I thought you would have left a long time ago.”
“Why do you keep asking that question?”
“Because I still don’t know the answer.”
He smiled. “May I come in?”
“Looks like you plan to anyway,” she said, meeting his eyes.
“Oh, I can get in my buggy and drive away if you want me to, but first I hope to understand some things about the two of us.”
“I would like nothing better,” she said. “But the girls aren’t in bed yet.”
“Then can we talk here on the steps?” he asked.
“If Ronda doesn’t get it into her head to listen,” Ella said, taking a seat atop the first step.
Robert glanced up. “I don’t think she is. The window looks empty.”
Ella launched in. “There were things going on, and I thought they would drive you away.”
“But I am still here among your people, and I have come back to see you. Does that tell you something?”
“Yes, but it seems almost too much to believe.”
“So let’s start over,” he said with a smile. “Why did you send me away this winter? Why did you say it’s all impossible between us…and then your brother shows up at my mother’s, apparently to investigate me?”
“That was not my idea,” she said.
“And did your brother find out what he wanted?” he asked, his eyes locked on hers.
Ella nodded, feeling as if nothing else on her body worked at the moment.
“And?”
“My brother said you are who you say you are. You’re from a good family. And that you have no girlfriends or ex-wives or children.”
He laughed as if highly amused.
“It’s not funny, Robert.”
“And you expected there would be a bevy of ex-wives and girlfriends and kids?”
“Not really. But Eli did raise my doubts.”
“Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you,” he said with a grin. “But on my part, Mom was impressed that your family would go to such effort. Especially after she learned Eli was your brother. But she had told me from the get-go what an exceptional woman you are.”
“Don’t say things like that, Robert, please. You’re going to have me crying.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, touching her arm. “I have a message for you.”
“A message? From whom?”
“Bishop Miller told me to tell you something. He said he’s sorry for everything. He said that he’s dating someone. You are, of course, supposed to tell no one.”
Ella felt the blood leave her face, certain she would have fallen down the steps if Robert hadn’t grabbed her.
“I’d say that must be some important news,” he said, his face now close to hers. “Do I need to get you some cold water?”
“Nee!” she said, gasping and struggling to stand.
“Perhaps you’d better pass out more often. Of course, I don’t know where to find such news every day. What exactly does it mean to you?”
“It means that everything changes,” she said, her voice weak. “About Bishop Miller…and about you.”
“I’m not sure I understand.”
“I’m not sure I can explain,” she said. “Perhaps it would be best to leave it unexplained for now. I don’t want to disappoint you with the revelation of the whole tale.”
“Come on, try me, Ella. I want to know.”
She began slowly. “I thought in some way Bishop Miller was using you to break up my relationship with Ivan Stutzman. And then he would turn on you after the deed was done. Then you would be gone, psst, like that, without his support in the church.”
“And he told you this?”
“Of course not.”
He smiled. “Wow. And I thought I was leaving the world of the soap opera.”
“What’s that?”
“Don’t worry. It doesn’t matter. I’m surprised you didn’t think I could handle myself.”
“Are you angry with me…with us?” she asked, daring to touch his hand.
“Oh, I’m steaming mad,” he said.
She studied his face for a long moment, “Nee, you’re not. You’re teasing.”
“So may I court you now?”
“Court me?”
“Yah. Don’t you know what that means?”
“I don’t,” she said, shaking her head. “I have no idea what it means.”
“Yah, you do,” he said, gathering her in his arms. “I think you know exactly what it means. Now you’re teasing me.”
“Oh, Robert,” she said, her voice muffled on his chest, “I have no idea what to say.”
“Then say nothing,” he said. “Just don’t chase me away again.”
“I will never chase you away again—not as long as I live.”
“Is that a promise?”
“Yah, a very solemn promise.”
“Will you love me? Love me dearly?”
“You know I will.”
“I’m making sure, that’s all.”
“Will you be a gut daett to the girls?” she asked, pulling away to see his face.
“As if they were my own,” he said, pulling her back against him. “Do I get German lessons again?”
“All the German lessons you want,” she said, suddenly laughing, amazed at the feeling of joy coursing through her.
“You are a strange people,” he said. “Now may I come inside?”
“You had best not,” she said. “I mean, I would want you to. But it’s too late for German lessons.”
“Okay,” he said. “That’s fair. But you know I won’t tolerate this situation for long.”
Her heart beat furiously. “You know you have to be baptized first?”
“Yah. And will you come to my first baptismal instruction class in two weeks?”
“Robert,” she gasped. “You’re really going to go through with it then?”
He threw his hands in the air. “When will you stop doubting me?”
“It’s just too gut to be true, that’s all,” she said, nestling on his chest again.
“It’s nice of Bishop Miller to fix this up for us,” he said. “You people do take care of each other.”
“It would have been nice if he hadn’t messed it up in the first place,” she snapped.
“Let’s just be happy for what we have,” he said. “This is much more than I ever imagined, Ella. I hope you know that, and I hope it continues.”
“Does Mr. Confidence doubt his powers to make it continue?”
“Perhaps,” he said. “You make a man doubt if he ever could—as beautiful as you are. Wunderbar.”
“Stop it!” she said. “Now go before I chase you away again.”
He pulled her into a tight hug and kissed her on the cheek. Then with quick steps he returned to his buggy.
Ella watched until his buggy lights moved out of the driveway and disappeared in the distance.
The window above her opened softly and Ronda’s voice called down, “So it was Robert. What did he want?”
“German lessons,” Ella said with a straight face. “But not tonight.”
Ronda’s face broke into a broad smile, “Ah, so you two have patched things up. Well, that’s just wonderful. You are so perfect for each other.”
“Ronda, not a word of this to anyone!” Ella said.
“Oh, how can I stand it? This is such delightful news,” Ronda said, her voice breathless.
“You can find some way,” Ella said. “Now, good night.”
But Ronda had already disappeared.
The stars twinkled brightly as Ella listened for any lingering sound of horse hooves in the distance. Had she dreamed the whole evening? Had it really happened?
“Nee, I didn’t dream,” she whispered. “Robert was here, and he’s coming back.”
She walked down the stairs and opened the basement door to find the girls playing happily on the floor.
“We’re hungry,” Mary said.
“Yes, dears,” Ella said. “I’ll get supper started right away, but it’s just going to be warmed over food from last night.”
“I don’t care,” Mary said.
“Can you set the table?” Ella asked. “You’re a big girl now.”
Mary glowed as she got up from the floor to find the plates and silverware. With Ella watching she completed the task with some success, the forks and spoons lying at cross angles with the plates.
“That’s gut,” Ella told her. “You’ll soon be very gut at it.”
When the food was warmed, she brought it to the table and helped the girls into their seats. They bowed in prayer and then began to eat.
Later, with the meal done and the dishes washed, Ella tucked the girls into bed. Walking to the basement window, she looked out at the s
tarry sweep of the sky.
“I love you, Robert,” she whispered. “I love you so very much.”
Forty-two
During the first week of March, spring made its first attempt at a return. Ella brought the girls outside to see the signs of the coming transformation. “Spring!” she said, with a wave of her hand. “Feel it firsthand, girls! Experience the warmth of the sun while you’re still surrounded by chilly air. Hear the soft sound of melting snow as it runs down the basement steps. Feel the temptation to take such deep breaths that it burns the lungs. Yes, it’s spring, girls.”
“Stop acting silly, Mamm,” Mary said, even as she followed Ella’s gaze.
“It’s time to be silly,” Ella said. “The snow will be gone soon, and the birds will be singing.”
Mary dashed down the driveway, and Sarah ran after her.
“You can’t play on the grass just yet,” Ella hollered after them, leaning over to kiss baby Barbara cooing in her arms and kicking her legs.
“Do you want down?” Ella asked as she lowered the baby to the ground, clutching her by the armpits.
Baby Barbara toddled wildly for a few seconds, laughed, and then cried, wanting to be lifted up again. Ella picked her up and held her until she calmed down again.
How like herself Barbara was. She too ran—and yet soon wanted to be held again, comforted from her fears. Today Robert would come for his German lesson. Perhaps that too was part of her joy this morning. But it still seemed so impossible that she was going to have happiness after all. Especially now that she had never wanted it more.
She saw Robert in her mind—how fresh and cheerful he looked the other Sunday. Bishop Miller must have told him who among the Amish women was the best seamstress because his new black suit coat was perfect.
How could Bishop Miller have interfered like he did? The question was painful. Yet she supposed he had to be forgiven. And at least the bishop’s poor judgment had brought no reproach on anyone. She had been the one who was nearly harmed—and Robert, but Da Hah had been with them.
Ella Finds Love Again (Little Valley 3) Page 26
