Moonlight Cove
Page 8
“But here’s the thing,” Will told her. “If you don’t ask for more or expect more from Mack—if you just stick with the status quo—will you ever be truly happy? Sometimes you have to take the risk of losing it all to get what you really want.”
Susie blinked at the question, then grinned. “That sounds a lot like the pot calling the kettle black,” she said. “Have you ever asked yourself the same thing about Jess?”
Will frowned. He’d asked himself that very thing just days earlier. He wasn’t about to discuss it with Susie, though. “I thought we were talking about you and Mack.”
“We can spend a couple of minutes on you, while we’re at it,” she said. “It’ll make me feel better to focus on someone else’s mixed-up love life.”
“Not necessary,” Will said adamantly. “You’ve told me why you and Mack got stuck in this nonrelationship thing, and I get it. Up until now you’ve been content to leave things alone. What’s changed?”
To his dismay, tears welled up in her eyes. “I don’t know,” she said. “The last couple of weeks, it’s as if he’s been backing away, and I have no idea why.” She met Will’s gaze. “If I lose him as a friend, it’ll be pretty ironic, don’t you think? Especially after all I’ve done to make sure that’s enough for me. I mean, I’ve been lying to myself for years now that being friends is better than nothing. Other guys have asked me out, but I wasn’t interested. Mack was always around, so who had time for someone else, anyway?” She shook her head. “I am such an idiot.”
“You’re not an idiot,” Will soothed. “You made a choice that seemed right at the time.”
“Well, obviously it was a lousy choice.”
Will resisted the urge to smile. “Really? You and Mack have been pretty tight for years now. You’re so close, you practically complete each other’s sentences, just the way a married couple does. Surely that’s worth something.” He met her gaze. “Have you tried to talk to him about this?”
“Not really,” she admitted. “I didn’t want to make too big a deal out of it.”
Will saw the trap she’d created for herself. Friends gave each other space. They didn’t crowd each other or sit down and have deep relationship talks.
“It’s quite a dilemma, isn’t it, trying to maintain the illusion that Mack doesn’t really matter to you?” Will said, regarding her with sympathy.
“It sucks,” she said candidly.
“Maybe it’s time to stop pretending,” Will suggested.
“I don’t know if I can. I don’t want to lose him, Will.”
“But you don’t have him now,” he pointed out.
“He’s my friend now,” she corrected.
“Then you should be able to go to him and ask what’s going on,” Will told her.
“I thought maybe you could just tell me, and then I’d know what he needs from me.”
Will laughed. “If I promised to keep your confidence, what makes you think I’d violate his?”
Her expression brightened. “Then something is going on and you do know what it is,” she said triumphantly.
“Talk to Mack,” he advised.
“You won’t even give me a hint?”
“Not a chance.”
“I guess I knew you wouldn’t tell me,” she said, looking resigned. “Do you want to talk about Jess now?”
“I do not,” he said emphatically.
For the first time since they’d begun their walk, Susie laughed. “I figured as much. We’re quite a pair, aren’t we?”
Will sighed. “We are, indeed.”
Jess had watched Will head off to the beach with Susie, and an unfamiliar feeling had stirred inside her, one she’d never felt before, at least in connection with Will. It was flat-out jealousy. She knew it was ridiculous on a whole lot of levels, especially since everyone knew Susie had eyes only for Mack, but there it was. Jess didn’t like staying behind while Will was off with another woman, especially Susie. She’d had some kind of crazy rivalry going with her too-perfect cousin for years now. That’s probably all it was, not wanting to share Will with the cousin who already had everything Jess had always wanted: respect, academic success, popularity.
This cannot happen, she told herself adamantly. She was not going to turn into that kind of woman. She already had enough insecurities without allowing Will to turn her into some kind of jealous freak. Nothing good came out of that dark emotion.
She probably ought to leave, just go back to the inn and dig into the pile of paperwork on her desk. It hadn’t gone away, and there was certainly enough there to keep her distracted for hours. Or there would have been, if she’d been able to concentrate on anything for hours. Her ADD precluded that.
She’d been cleaning out the attic recently, hoping to eventually convert it into another guestroom and bath. She could do that, she thought, her gaze still straying toward the bay as she watched for some sign of Will and Susie returning.
“Looking for someone?” Abby inquired, coming outside to perch on the porch railing in front of her.
“No,” she lied. “Just relaxing.”
“You could always go down to the beach and catch up with Will and Susie,” Abby said.
Jess scowled at her. “Why would I want to do that?”
“Because sitting here waiting for them to come back is making you crazy,” Abby said. “You do know you have nothing to worry about with those two, don’t you?”
“Of course I know,” she said.
“Then why the glum expression?”
“Because apparently I’ve lost my grip on reality recently,” Jess admitted reluctantly.
Abby chuckled. “You mean because you liked kissing Will?”
Jess nodded. “Who knew the man could kiss like that? It caught me off guard. I mean, that’s probably all it was, right?”
“Is that what you think?” Abby said.
Jess nodded, eager to seize on the explanation. “I’m sure that’s it.” She cast a plaintive look at her big sister. “Remember how you tried to fix Heather up with some guy from your office just to get Connor all worked up?”
“I remember,” Abby said.
“Why haven’t you ever tried to fix me up? Is it because you don’t think I’m capable of settling down?”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Abby said. “I think when the right man comes along, you’re going to be a wonderful wife and mother. And if you’d ever asked me to fix you up, I’d have done it happily.”
Jess wasn’t entirely sure she believed her. “Really? Despite the whole ADD thing?”
“Sweetie, you’ve been managing that really well. Look at the inn. It’s a huge success. You’ve figured out what you need to do to handle all the demands of the job. You’ve learned how to ask for help when you need it. You’ll do the same when it comes to having a family.”
Jess sighed. “I want to believe that. But even you have to admit, when it comes to men, my attention span has been pretty short.”
“Maybe that’s the ADD, or maybe it’s because none of them were right for you,” Abby said. “Remember all those jobs you had before you opened the inn? They just weren’t what you needed. The inn was. The same will hold true for a man.”
“I hope you’re right. If I ever do get married, I want it to last,” Jess said wistfully. “I want to have what you and Bree have found with Trace and Jake, what Kevin has with Shanna and Connor has with Heather.”
“You’re a gorgeous, smart, exciting, unpredictable woman, and I mean that in the best way. You’ll find everything you deserve. I promise you that.” Abby grinned. “And if you don’t find it on your own, you know Dad will stick his nose into it sooner or later.”
“Heaven forbid!” Jess said with feeling. She stood up, then cast one last look toward the steps up from the beach. Still no sign of Will and Susie, but she didn’t feel quite so crazed about it. “Thanks, Abby. As always, you’ve grounded me. I think I’ll head back to the inn.”
“If you need any help with the bills, let me know,” A
bby said casually.
Jess bristled. “Between the accountant and me, everything’s under control,” she said.
“It was just an offer,” Abby chided. “Just a reminder that I’m here if you need me.”
Jess sighed. “I know. Sorry. Actually, though, I think I’m going to do something physical. I need to burn off some energy. I bought a bunch of boxes the other day, so I thought I’d pack up some of the stuff in the attic and get it ready to give away. When I can free up some money, I’d like to get that area converted into another guestroom and bath, maybe even make it a honeymoon suite. There’s a glorious view from up there.”
She waited for Abby to scold her about spending money she didn’t have, but surprisingly, her sister, the family financial wizard, nodded.
“Sounds like a smart idea,” Abby said approvingly. “Why don’t you have Dad take a look and give you an estimate?”
Jess stared at her. “Seriously?”
Abby held up a cautioning hand. “It depends on the numbers, but yes, it’s worth checking out. We’ll see if we can figure out a way to make it happen.”
Jess threw her arms around her sister and gave her a fierce hug. “Thanks, Abby.”
“Don’t thank me. You’re the one who’s made the inn into a business worth expanding.”
Jess felt herself standing a little taller at the praise. “I have, haven’t I?”
All thoughts of Will forgotten for the moment, she headed back to the inn with her step considerably lighter than it had been just a half-hour earlier.
Jess had changed into old shorts and a tanktop before heading up to the dusty attic. Over the past few years, she’d spent a few scattered hours up here, getting lost in some of the old books she’d found in the trunks that had been stored here for years before she’d bought the place. Today, though, she was determined to stay focused.
Armed with boxes and garbage bags, she intended to sort things into three batches—items to be given away, those she might be able to use in the inn, and trash that wasn’t worth keeping. Unfortunately, all of it came with a heavy layer of dust, so she spent almost as much time sneezing and wiping things off as she did making decisions.
She’d been at it for an hour when she heard footsteps approaching. When Will appeared at the top of the stairs, a grin broke across his face.
“You’re quite a picture,” he commented.
“Thanks,” she said wryly. “You might want to reconsider coming up here in your good clothes.”
“Everything I’m wearing is washable,” he said of his neatly pressed chinos and the dress shirt with its sleeves rolled up. Still, he stood hesitantly. “Want some help? Abby mentioned you were over here trying to sort through all this stuff.” He glanced at the trash bags she’d already filled. “I could at least haul those downstairs for you.”
“That would be fantastic,” she said gratefully, “if you’re sure you don’t mind.”
“I wouldn’t have come if I didn’t want to help. Let me run those down. Do you want them in your Dumpster out back or where?”
“The Dumpster’s great. Trash pickup’s tomorrow.”
He picked up the four bags she’d filled so far and took them as if they weighed next to nothing. When he came back, he brought bottles of water from the fridge she kept in her office. He handed one to her.
“I thought you might be thirsty,” he said,
“You’re a godsend,” she told him, taking a long swallow, aware that his gaze seemed to be glued to her chest, which was glistening with perspiration. Her tank top seemed to be clinging to her curves. “Um, Will…” Her voice hitched as she tried to snag his attention.
He blinked and stared at her, this time at her face. “Sorry,” he said, an actual blush climbing into his cheeks. “What would you like me to do now?”
Throw me down on this floor and make love to me. The outrageous thought popped into her head, bringing a flood of heat into her own cheeks.
“Trunk,” she said, gesturing across the attic. “Over there.” As far from her as it was possible to get.
His lips quirked. “You want me to sort through the things in the trunk,” he said.
“Yes.”
“How will I know what’s worth keeping?”
She drew in a breath and tried to steady her nerves and her voice. “You’ll know. If you have any questions, just ask.” She gave him a hopeful look. “Unless you’d rather go. You don’t have to help.”
“I’ve never known anyone so eager to turn down a willing volunteer,” he said, as he opened the trunk and began to sort through it. “Why is that, Jess? Do I make you nervous all of a sudden?”
“You scare me to death,” she blurted before she could censor herself. She immediately groaned. “I can’t believe I said that.”
Will laughed. “In my business, honesty’s considered a good thing. So, why do I scare you?”
She frowned at him. “There you go again, getting all shrinklike on me. Do you really want to dissect this?”
He nodded, his expression serious. “I believe I do.”
“Well, I don’t. It makes me feel like one of your case studies. I’ve told you before, I hate that feeling.”
“Has it occurred to you that friends actually talk about their emotions to one another? I know for a fact you talk to Abby and Connor about stuff. Why is it different talking to me?”
“You’re a shrink,” she said as if that explained everything. In fact, she thought it did.
“But I’m not your shrink,” he said.
“It just feels weird.”
He backed off at once. “Okay, then we won’t talk about anything you’re feeling, about me or anything else,” he said readily. “What are you planning to do with this space, once you have it cleaned out?”
“I’m hoping to turn it into a suite,” she said at once, eager to change the subject. “A honeymoon suite, in fact.” In her enthusiasm for the project, she described every detail she’d envisioned. “And look out the window, Will. There’s the most amazing view from up here. I’d like to open up that wall with more windows, if Dad says the structure can take it. It would be so incredible to wake up in this room with the bay and practically the whole town bathed in sunlight at daybreak.”
Will smiled at her enthusiasm. He moved to look out the window, then nodded. “It would be fantastic, Jess. Instead of a honeymoon suite, though, you could make this area into your rooms. There’s enough space for a living room, even a little kitchenette. It would be incredibly cozy up here. In fact, the chimney’s right over there. I’ll bet you could even put in a fireplace.”
She glanced around, suddenly seeing the space as he’d described it. “Oh, my gosh, I never even thought of that. What a great idea!” She sobered at once. “Of course, I shouldn’t keep the best space for myself. Guests would pay a fortune for a self-contained suite like that.”
“Up to you, but it seems to me the inn’s owner should be comfortable.”
“My rooms downstairs are fine,” she insisted. Besides, she had a feeling that the room she was envisioning and that Will was describing would be far too romantic for one. It would be meant for a couple, two people in love. Still, the thought of it charmed her.
Will’s gaze caught hers. “What happens when you have a family, Jess? Will you live somewhere else or stay here?”
“I’ve never thought that far ahead,” she admitted. “I mean, if it was just me and a husband, I suppose we’d stay here, but if there were kids…” Her voice trailed off and she shrugged.
“You have plenty of property,” he reminded her. “You could always build a home right here. That way you’d have your privacy, but you’d be close enough to keep an eye on things.”
She couldn’t deny the idea made sense, but such a thing was a long way down the road. She didn’t even have a man, much less a family.
Even as she told herself that, though, she couldn’t help envisioning Will up here in this very space, by her side, sitting in front of a coz
y fire, the view of Chesapeake Shores spread out before them. The image was so clear, so captivating, it stunned her. She blinked and forced her attention back to the trunk of old books in front of her.
“I’m never going to be able to do anything up here if I don’t stop daydreaming,” she said.
“But daydreaming serves a purpose, don’t you think?” Will said. “It allows us to play out all the scenarios of our future so we can sort through them and see which ones seem to fit.”
“Do you do a lot of daydreaming?”
“All the time.”
“What do you think about?”
Will’s cheeks colored again. “Oh, this and that. Nothing worth talking about.”
Jess chuckled. “This and that, huh? Is there somebody special in these daydreams of yours?”
He pinned her with a look. “What fun is a daydream if there’s no one in it with you?”
She had to bite her tongue to keep from asking what woman he saw. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know. If he said it was her, what then? No, better to leave it alone.
“For the longest time, in mine it was Brad Pitt,” she said to lighten the moment. “And then he had to go and dump Jennifer Anniston and get together with Angelina Jolie. That ruined it for me.”
Will laughed. “And nobody’s been able to replace Brad?”
“If I tell you, will you promise not to blab to a single soul?”
“I am the very soul of discretion,” he assured her.
“Tim McGraw,” she said. “But then, I gather Faith Hill has a wicked temper when anyone gets too close to her man.” She sighed dramatically. “Who can blame her, though?”
“Who, indeed?” Will said with a chuckle.
Suddenly being in a confined space with all this talk of daydreams was too much. Jess stood up. “We’ve done enough for today. Let’s go down to the kitchen and raid the fridge,” she suggested. “We can have a picnic on one of the tables overlooking the beach. All of the guests have checked out, so we have the whole place to ourselves.”
Will stood up and followed her downstairs to the inn’s large gourmet kitchen. “Um, Jess,” he began hesitantly as he stood in the doorway.