Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?

by Fujino Omori

  “It’s not that big of a deal, but is it true Syr is skipping out on work?”

  “Ahnya did not choose her words well. Syr is not playing hooky. Her situation is different because she doesn’t reside at our establishment like we do.”

  I knew Syr wouldn’t skip work. She seemed to really enjoy it. Sounds like she has a day off or something. She doesn’t live at the bar, which means that she doesn’t need to work every day like these two. I bet that dwarfess, Mama Mia, had to give permission, though.

  So she’s bound to have a day off here and there, right?

  And it sounds like she went to some kind of festival…

  “Monsterphilia…?”

  “Yes. She went to see the opening events today.”

  I heard those words in the basement of Babel Tower.

  “Do you not know? All residents of Orario know about this event.”

  “Actually, I haven’t lived here very long… Could you tell me about it?”

  “—Nyay! Me will tell nyou about it, nya!”

  As soon as I asked, the catgirl suddenly jumped in between us. She looked so depressed two seconds ago… Where did this energy come from? She’s talking really fast, too!

  “Monsterphilia is an event put on once a year by Ganesha Familia, nya! We fill the stadium for a day and tame the monsters, nya!”

  “Huh?… T-tame?!”

  What the hell is she talking about?!?

  Taming the monsters? Keeping those vicious beasts as pets?!?

  “It’s nyot really that strange, nya? Nyou’re an adventurer, nya, aren’t cha, white head? Nyou have seen when a slain monster wakes up with a look in its eyes. It wants to be our friend, nya!”

  “Uh… no. I can’t say I have…”

  Should I believe her? Can I? I must look confused, because Lyu speaks up again.

  “Taming has been recognized as a skill. I am being brief, but a person proves him- or herself more powerful than a monster. In turn, the monster obeys that person’s commands.”

  “The monster obeys their commands.”… Sounds like I’m in another world.

  “The monsters in the Dungeon have bad tempers, nya! So usually monsters already above ground are tamed. But Ganesha Familia’s tamers are good! They break the Dungeon-born monsters, too, nya!”

  Ganesha Familia… I’ve heard that name before. They are probably the most influential Familia in Orario. I’ve heard there is a ton of members, too.

  “So, basically these tamers fight a monster until it submits. And people watch?”

  “That’s right, nya! Like a really big circus!”

  Except much more dangerous… Yeah, I got it.

  “We wanted to go, too, nya! But Mommy Mia said nyo nyo… Syr said she’d buy us syomething, but she forgot her wallet, nya! She smiled and waved, but nyo money! Careless girl, nya!”

  “Ahnya, I don’t believe you are correct…”

  Ehh, I got this figured out. Syr can’t buy souvenirs, or anything else, without her wallet. I owe her, so it’s the least I can do to take this to her.

  “I believe that the area around the stadium on East Main will be very crowded. If you head in that direction, you should find the stadium easily.”

  “Syr just left, nya! Nyou can catch up!”

  “Sure thing.”

  My heavy backpack would get in the way, so I ask them to keep it at The Benevolent Mistress. I can swing by later to pick it up.

  Clutching Syr’s wallet in hand, I make my way toward Babel Tower. I’ll need to go beyond it, but it should be a straight shot from here.

  Monsterphilia… I wonder what it’s like…

  Maybe I should check it out later?

  East Main Street was alive with the songs and voices of the citizens of Orario.

  It was now nine o’clock in the morning. While most adventurers were already prowling the Dungeon, throngs of townspeople were gathering on the streets.

  A line of food stalls ran down the middle of the street, another two lines along the sides. Sounds and smells of their various confections spread out over an ocean of humanity. The street itself was decorated with long ribbons and vibrant flowers. Flags of many colors flew in the morning breeze. Some of them had the silhouette of particularly vicious monsters printed on them. The others had an elephant’s head, the emblem of Ganesha Familia.

  A young animal boy, his face red with excitement, pulled his mother’s arm as they plunged into the crowd. The sun itself seemed to be celebrating the day, its bright yellow beams lighting up the sky.

  East Main had been completely transformed by the fair.

  “……”

  The line of fairgoers ran from the east gate all the way up to the stadium itself. A pair of silver eyes watched them inch along from above the street.

  From the second floor of a café, to be exact.

  The café had a wooden interior and a very laid-back atmosphere. One woman was sitting at a table next to a glass window facing the street. She was wearing a navy blue cloak to prevent her face, and snowy-white skin, from being seen.

  However, one layer of cloth was not enough to contain this person’s beauty.

  Even though her face was well hidden under a hood, every set of eyes in the café was trained on her. Whenever she would trace the lip of her cup with her delicate fingers or her elegant chin peeked out from under her hood for a moment, everyone around her held their breath. Many people who happened to see her stopped and stared.

  All of them were fascinated by someone doing almost nothing. Freya, the Goddess of Beauty, ignored them and kept her eyes on the street below.

  “……”

  She was watching the many people of Gekai, the children.

  Humans, animal people, dwarves, elves. A few adventurers were sprinkled in among the colors of these different races.

  Freya thoroughly scanned them with her sharp eyes.

  Creaks in the wooden floor announced the arrival of a few customers.

  Freya stopped the examination and turned to great the newcomers.

  “Yo! Sorry to keep ya waitin’!”

  “Not at all. I just got here myself.”

  Freya smiled under her hood at the person waving at her from the head of the stairwell.

  The newcomer’s hair was not the bright flame of Hephaistos’s, but a more subdued shade of red, the hue of an evening sky. It was tied back into a small ponytail. Her shirt and pants were worn out and faded. If Freya had not known her, she might have thought this person was male.

  Fighting back a yawn and with tears in her eyes, Loki smiled back at the cloaked figure.

  “Haven’t had breaky yet. Mind if I grab a bite?”

  “Do as you please.”

  Loki pulled up a chair across from Freya and sat down. Freya continued to smile her usual smile, not reacting to Loki at all. The two of them had an air about them, like friends who had known each other for a very long time.

  “I heard you had quite the night after the Celebration. Crawled into a bottle and passed out, did you? Hee-hee-hee, Hestia’s something else, isn’t she?”

  “Where’d ya hear that, boobs for brains?”

  “I overheard some of your cute children. They had themselves quite the laugh.”

  “Those bastards, always havin’ a good time without me!”

  Freya had invited Loki to this café to talk at nine in the morning.

  It had been a few days since the Celebration. The two goddesses were only here because of Freya’s request.

  “So when are you going to introduce that girl standing behind you?”

  “Eh, ya need introducin’?”

  “This is the first time for us to meet face-to-face.”

  Loki had not been alone when she entered the café.

  Standing like a guard behind Loki with her sword’s sheath clutched in her hand was a young girl with blond hair and golden eyes that even Freya, the Goddess of Beauty, had to notice.

  “’K then, this is my Aiz. That ’nough for y
a? Aiz, this is a goddess, ya should at least say ’ello.”

  “… Nice to meet you.”

  Freya muttered, “Kenki,” under her breath as her eyes skimmed over the girl.

  Aiz Wallenstein. She was the female swordsman who was responsible for Loki Familia’s sudden rise to notoriety, even among the gods. Her name and reputation were known not just in Orario but were spreading around the world. Indeed, she needed no introduction.

  A girl with her looks did not usually go into a dangerous profession like adventuring. Someone who didn’t know her face would never guess that she had slain countless monsters and trodden on just as many of their corpses.

  “Ya can take a seat,” said Loki as the girl with a thin, delicate face nodded and pulled out a chair to sit down.

  “She is very cute. And also… Yes. I can see why you have taken a liking to this one.”

  Aiz’s golden eyes met Freya’s silver ones. Aiz kept her face emotionless as she lowered her head in a polite bow.

  Her nickname was perfect in some ways, completely wrong in others. Freya’s smile flexed for a moment thinking about it.

  “Can I ask why you brought the kenki here with you?”

  “Fu-he-he-heee… It’s the Fair, yah? What better time for a date with my Aizuu?”

  Loki’s eyes twinkled, a vulgar smile on her lips.

  “Well, that and she’s finally back from an expedition. She’ll be back in the Dungeon in no time. That’s just her.”

  “……”

  “Someone’s gotta tell ’er to relax, don’ they?”

  Loki patted the girl’s head as she spoke. Aiz looked down, deciding not to speak up.

  Freya looked at the warmth in Loki’s thin eyes and couldn’t help but remember how she was before coming here. Loki had been quite the troublemaker in Tenkai.

  “Well, then, I think it’s about time ya tell me why I’m here.”

  “I just wanted to chat. It’s been a while.”

  “Lyin’ through yer teeth.”

  Loki sent a smirk at Freya, still smiling under her hood. She matched Freya’s tone to the letter. The “old friends” aura was gone.

  A waiter was unlucky enough to come to take their order at that very moment. Stuck between two lightning rods, he stood silent and motionless at the head of the table as if he had been chained down.

  As for Aiz, she kept her face devoid of emotion and chose to watch quietly from the side.

  “I’ll ask ya again, why?”

  “I don’t understand. What’s the matter, Loki?”

  “Come on, moron.”

  Freya turned to the waiter, still motionless at the head of the table, and flashed him a smile. The man’s eyes opened like floodgates, his face turning beet red. He broke out in a cold sweat before quickly turning around and wasting no time leaving the area.

  Loki watched him leave for a moment before returning her raptor-like gaze back to Freya.

  “Ya been strange recently. Ya claim not to be interested in the Celebration, but poke yer head in at the last minute. Say yer there for information? Ya don’ care about that, ya never have… What are ya scheming?”

  “Scheming…? Why do you make it sound so evil?”

  “Shut ya mouth.”

  Loki followed it with saying that strange things happened when Freya acted like this. She went on to say that if it got in her way, she’d end it herself. Loki didn’t blink, her red eyes adding weight to her words.

  Freya didn’t back down, meeting Loki’s eyes with her own. The look on Loki’s face could have killed a serpent, but Freya took it head-on, smiling. Invisible sparks flew; the pressure of their conversation filled the room. The café emptied in no time flat.

  Aiz had a front-row seat to the clash of goddesses that seemed to go on forever. Until…

  Loki got tired and backed down.

  The tension instantly evaporated, and Loki continued in a more relaxed voice: “A man, isn’t it?”

  “……”

  Freya didn’t answer, just kept smiling.

  Loki took it as an affirmation.

  She let out a deep, long sigh. She had seen this too many times already.

  “So… Ya got an eye for a child already in another Familia, I take it?”

  All of the gods and goddesses knew about Freya’s “habits” when it came to men.

  Once a male on Gekai caught her eye, she made a move. Her beauty was powerful enough to make her target her own. Exactly how many men had fallen under her spell, no one knew.

  Loki reasoned that Freya’s target was most likely not in her Familia. Therefore, the reason she came to the Celebration in the first place was to figure out whose Familia the target was in.

  Obviously going after someone already in another Familia, to take them away from it, would not go over well. The god of the other Familia would not sit by and do nothing. Freya was picking a fight. If the other side was strong, she’d get rejected and wallow in despair until she found her next target. She was being cautious, gathering information before she made her move. That was what Loki was thinking, anyway.

  Freya didn’t try to deny Loki’s words.

  “Jeez, woman. Is that all ya think about? Ya’ll go after anyone, young or old?”

  “How rude. I do have standards.”

  “Leaving out all the bumbling idiots on Tenkai you pull fast ones on?”

  “They have their uses. I’m quite skilled at getting money out of them.”

  Loki cleared her throat. The witch was putting up all of her dirty laundry. Loki raised an eyebrow at her fellow goddess. Freya shrugged, but only just enough for the fabric on her cloak to bend ever so slightly.

  Thinking that there was nothing left to be said, Loki put her hands behind her head and leaned back in her chair so much that the front feet came off the floor.

  Freya also let her guard down and took a sip from her now-cold cup. They both had an answer, and the mood finally cleared.

  A clear, sunny sky spread out from the window beside them. The noises of the street were pouring into the café.

  Freya’s navy blue cloak swayed in a light breeze rolling in from an open window.

  “And?”

  “…?”

  “Who’s the guy? What child are ya after now? When’d ya find ’im?”

  Loki leaned her head to the side as if to say, “Spill it.”

  Now she was interested. Unlike Freya, Loki loved details.

  If she didn’t get the goods now, she’d leave.

  “……”

  “I came all this way, changed my plans. I have the right to know.”

  Freya looked away from the goddess giving her demands and cast her gaze back out onto the street.

  The hood of Freya’s cloak opened enough for Loki to see her silver eyes go clear, as if she was thinking about something in the past.

  “… He’s not that strong. Weak if you compare him to the children in our Familias. Easily upset, he starts bawling at the simplest of problems… That kind of child.”

  The word “but” was on the tip of her tongue.

  “He was beautiful, pure. I’ve never seen anything like him.”

  And that was why she’d fallen for him.

  She heard a melody that most could not, coming from a flame within him. A soprano.

  “I found him by accident. He just happened to walk across my line of vision.”

  As she talked, Freya thought about every detail of the second she’d first laid eyes on him. She kept her eyes on the busy street, searching for him. This was how she’d found him last time. Maybe today would be the day.

  “It was just like this…”

  Early morning, brisk air, fresh sunlight, West Main.

  He’d come from the other end of the street—just like right now.

  He ran into her line of sight, just like he had that morning.

  “……”

  Freya stopped breathing.

  Her eyes had found a white-haired human boy in light ad
venturer’s armor.

  He jumped between people, jogged for a bit, and then stopped before doing it all again.

  The boy was moving toward the stadium. Monsterphilia.

  Riding the river of people, he was well on his way to the circular building not too far down the road.

  Freya watched him for a moment. A new smile, a scary smile, grew on her lips.

  “I apologize. Something has come up.”

  “Eh?”

  “Let’s do this again soon.”

  Loki collapsed to the table in stunned disappointment. Freya was already out of her chair.

  She adjusted her cloak as she went down the stairs and out of the building.

  Only Loki and Aiz were left in the café.

  “What kinda person just leaves ya hangin’ like that…?”

  Loki stared at the staircase for a moment, her eye twitching.

  A small “hmm” escaped her throat as she turned to face the girl one seat away from her.

  Aiz had her eyes glued to the window.

  “What’s up, Aiz? Somethin’ wrong?”

  “… No.”

  She went on to say, “It’s nothing,” but she didn’t look away.

  Her golden eyes, just like the silver eyes of the goddess before her, saw a familiar white head moving through the crowd to the stadium.

  “Here it is.”

  “Ooooo!”

  Hephaistos, still dressed in her work gear, handed Hestia a small case. Hestia let out a squeal of delight. She had bags under her eyes, but her face still beamed with energy.

  “Does it meet your expectations?”

  “Yes, yes! Very much so! No complaints!”

  The hinges of the case squeaked as Hestia opened it to have a look inside.

  The case contained a dagger with a black handle and sheath.

  The entire weapon was black from top to bottom. It might have looked like a simple blade, but Hephaistos had put her soul into making this weapon… with a little help from Hestia.

  Completing Bell’s new weapon in just under a day gave Hestia a look of happiness and satisfaction, the likes of which Hephaistos had never seen.

  “Ah! Hephaistos, the blade needs a name! Can I give it one?? Let’s see, how about something that binds Bell and me together? ‘Love Dagger’ or something like that?”

  “Please, no… This dagger is worth more than that. But this is your blade now…”