Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?

by Fujino Omori

  A monster’s instincts didn’t waver. Its quest for a goddess’s love consumed it.

  “Gaaaaahhhhhh!!!”

  “Heeee!”

  The silverback advanced down the street, swatting carts and boxes out of its way.

  A crying horse managed to get out of the way. The driver of its cart wasn’t so lucky. He was launched skyward and tumbled to the ground. The horse wheeled the empty cart back around to its master as the silverback charged by.

  It was losing the scent of the goddess. Her sweet aroma was gone. Had it made a wrong turn?

  The silverback stopped for a moment and tried to find her scent again. It looked in every direction, taking in big huffs of air.

  Many people filled the streets once again—people running, people in shock, people screaming at the top of their lungs. The silverback was enclosed in a circle of humanity.

  The silverback’s eyes skimmed the crowd before suddenly coming to a stop.

  Its eyes had locked onto a point, a certain someone.

  It saw “her” with bloodshot eyes.

  A small girl with black hair and blank eyes staring right back at him.

  A being clearly different from the others around her.

  Someone on a whole other plane.

  Someone with the same qualities as the “goddess” he pursed.

  A voice climbed into its ears:

  “—Could you chase the small one?”

  Those words whispering in its ear were hers.

  —Found you!

  The silverback took one big step toward the wide-eyed little girl.

  “—”

  It takes a step forward.

  “… B-Bell.”

  I grab the goddess’s hand and take one, two steps back.

  Every hair on my body is standing up. I haven’t felt like this since “that” day.

  A white body, silver hair running down its back. Its presence is overwhelming.

  It has the eyes of a beast, no rhythm or reason. And it’s looking at me and the goddess.

  I can’t breathe.

  Why is there a monster here? What is happening? I’ve asked those questions before…

  I’m facing something that shouldn’t be here. It’s the Minotaur all over again. I’m sweating, shaking just as hard as last time.

  One of us is going to get overrun!

  “—Do your best.”

  Where did that voice come from…?

  Chapter 6

  BUMP ◆ OF ◆ CHICKEN!

  “Ganesha! Ganesha! We have a major problem! Emergency!!”

  Commotion erupted in a corner of the sunlit stadium.

  Monsterphilia was still in progress. A tamer was currently riding a small, long-necked dragon like a bull at a rodeo on the main stage. The audience was too involved in the action below to notice what was going on above them.

  “—What you hiding? I am Ganesha!”

  “I know that, sir! Why are you introducing yourself now?!?”

  Ganesha watched the fair from a great spot on the rim of the upper deck where he could see everything at once. When a member of his Familia rushed up to him, he thrust out his elephant mask and struck a bizarre pose.

  Trying very hard to ignore his painfully awkward god, the man quickly spelled out what had happened below the stadium floor.

  “Monsters have escaped! There are open cages in the holding room!”

  “… Huh? That is a problem…”

  “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!”

  Ganesha straightened up so fast that spit flew out of his subordinate’s mouth. The man continued to give his report. This time he had Ganesha’s full attention.

  He explained that all of the guards, including Guild employees, were incapacitated in the holding room. All theories pointed to someone outside the Guild as the perpetrator.

  Ganesha listened to the tidings with a very calm face and waited until the man had finished before asking his own questions in a controlled, low voice.

  “How many monsters escaped… were released?”

  “N-nine, sir! Including some that are particularly dangerous…”

  Ganesha grunted, slowly nodding his head. His elephant mask shifted along with him.

  High-pitched voices rose up from the main stage. The tamer opened his palm in front of the dragon’s eyes, a signal to stop in place. A deep growl bellowed out from the dragon’s gut, but it obeyed. Plopping its body to the ground, it licked the tamer’s hand.

  The crowd drew a collective breath. Turning to face the audience, the tamer waved to them. Moments later, he received a chorus of cheers and thunderous applause.

  “All right, pursue the monsters at large! Also, contact other Familias! Ask all of the gods in the stadium for their cooperation!”

  “Wait a minute, sir! It’s our fault the monsters escaped! If we ask for help, our reputation will be compromised! Other groups might see this as an opportunity…”

  “I am Ganesha, God of the Masses! I cannot allow any of the citizens to be harmed! Our treasure is the children’s smiles. Throw away your ambition!”

  “Y-yes, sir! My apologies!”

  “Continue the fair as planned! Don’t tell anyone else about this, and don’t let the audience leave the stands! There will be panic if word gets out!”

  “Understood! What about the perpetrator?”

  “Let him go. He didn’t release all of the monsters, so he was most likely trying to cause problems. He was after something. This could be a diversion, or perhaps he wanted to see the fair turn to chaos… I hate to say it, but I have to play along with his game. Our first priority is the safety of the people. Priority number one, understood? Now go!”

  The man nodded and dashed off to spread the instructions.

  Ganesha Familia sprung into action only five minutes after the incident was discovered.

  “Monsters escaped?!”

  At about the same time Ganesha was being informed of the situation, word got around to Eina and her group outside the stadium.

  “Yeah… The west team manager saw them come out of the stadium’s west gate. Ganesha Familia is running around in a frenzy… Eina, what do we do…?”

  Eina got over the shock of this information quickly, switching into high gear.

  “Get ahold of any Familias in the area, I don’t care which ones!”

  “Can we do something like that? The bosses will get angry if we go over their heads…”

  Every Guild employee with decision-making power left their post to investigate the west gate when trouble was first reported. Only basic secretaries, like Eina, and assistants were still there.

  Eina looked around at the group. All of them had reservations about overstepping their bounds. She could see it in their eyes.

  “That’s better than someone getting hurt! On top of that, Ganesha has put safety as the top priority. He shouldn’t get angry if other Familias are involved. We have to act now before the injuries start piling up!”

  “You’re right. I couldn’t live with myself knowing I could have done more…”

  Eina coaxed the rest of her coworkers into action by drawing on Ganesha’s wishes to make people happy. He and his Familia had spared no expense to help the Guild set up Monsterphilia.

  The Guild employees looked at one another. Eina’s words had moved them. They all nodded in agreement and started to discuss who would do what to get the word out.

  Suddenly, a voice. “… Excuse me. Did something happen?”

  Suddenly, a voice.

  Someone was walking up to the group of guild employees.

  Each of them lost his or her voice on seeing who was approaching them.

  “A-Aiz Wallenstein…”

  Eina herself was taken aback. Her eyes widened in amazement as the girl came up to them.

  Aiz’s supple thighs were only half hidden by a miniskirt. Her midriff was revealed by a short top. Despite not having any armor, her sword hung from her waist in its sheath.

&n
bsp; A member of Orario’s top-class adventurers stood before the bewildered Guild members. She was exactly what they had been praying for.

  The man closest to her quickly explained what had happened.

  The moment she understood the situation, she spun on her heel to face the person behind her.

  “Loki.”

  “Yeah, I heard. Can’t be datin’ at a time like this. I’ll let Ganesha borrow ya for a bit.”

  The Guild members saw Loki smile. Their prayers had been answered.

  Eina and the others let out a collective sigh of relief, but she couldn’t relax just yet.

  “Any idea where the monsters are at?”

  “Y-yes! A group of them was seen heading toward East Main!”

  Eina’s heart jumped. East Main. That’s where Bell was looking for that girl.

  He could be caught up in the worst of it.

  “Misha, what species of monsters escaped?”

  “Eh? Ummm. I think a swordstag, a troll, a silverback… maybe some others…”

  Silverbacks appeared on the lower eleventh. Swordstags and trolls were born on Level Twenty and below.

  Bell wouldn’t stand a chance against any of them. He’d nearly died on the lower fifth…

  Please, Bell, get out of there alive, okay?

  Eina looked in the direction of East Main.

  She had one more prayer, for Bell’s safety.

  My ears are ringing from all the commotion.

  “Ruguguu…!”

  The sun is shining through all the flags on East Main. They look so out of place in this chaos.

  I feel like an island in this torrent of panicked screams.

  Now that I got a better look at the howling monster, it doesn’t have a tail. It’s just a thick stripe of long silver hair on its back. Chains are still shackled to its wrists, but they look like they were torn apart. Metal being dragged across stone—I hate that sound.

  Silverback…

  Eina has told me about many types of monsters. This is one of them for sure.

  She also told me it’s born far below the lower fifth—way out of my league.

  It really is the Minotaur all over again. I won’t be able to lay a finger on this thing!

  Warning bells are going off in my head. It’s time to go.

  “Gyaa…!”

  It’s moving again!

  It bends its knees, turning its body right toward me and the goddess!

  —It’s coming!

  Here comes a massive fist! I have to move!

  “!!”

  “Uwaaaa!!!”

  Dive to the side! Grab the goddess and launch!

  I got her, but there’s no time to make sure she’s safely tucked in my arms. I feel her screams against my chest. Bam! My shoulder into the stone road. Roll, now!

  Two, three rolls and stop! That should be far enough, the monster already flew by. Get up and protect the goddess, now!

  Okay, she’s behind me. The beast has to go through me if it wants her.

  “Urrrrnnnn…!”

  It’s back up and coming this way!

  Its eyes are fixed on me! Here comes another charge!

  Why?!?

  It didn’t even hesitate! Just found me again and charged! The goddess will get trampled! I yank her hard to the right and out of the beast’s path.

  Huh? It changed direction?! In mid-charge?!?! So the silverback isn’t locked onto me…

  Oh shit…

  It’s after the goddess! And now it’s airborne!

  My legs move on their own. I have to get in its way, since the goddess is helpless. Before I know it, I’m between the two of them, but the monster doesn’t even glance my way.

  It does, however, send an arm.

  “—Gwahhhh?!”

  “Gugooooooo!!!”

  I succeed in getting the goddess out of the way of a wrecking ball. Unfortunately, I take that wrecking ball square in the ribs.

  It hits my armor, but it isn’t strong enough to stop the crushing blow from coursing through my body. I… I can’t breathe!

  Oh, the punch sent me flying… That’s why everything’s upside down and blurry…

  … Ah!

  I fly through a food stall! Shattering a hole in it on impact, by the looks of things; splinters of wood are all over the place.

  Oh wow… Here comes the pain… Come on, body, I need you. Okay, legs are still outside the stall, get on your elbow… Dah! Ribs… Slow and steady. That’s got it…

  “Ekkkkkkkk!!!!”

  East Main has fallen into pandemonium.

  I hear people screaming. I see blurs of them running away.

  It kind of looks like that time all those spiders hatched at once, all scurrying away. The fairgoers are all disappearing into buildings and down side roads.

  Why is no one helping the goddess??

  “…!”

  “Fhaa… haaa…!”

  There she is, standing frozen in front of the monster.

  She’s cornered!!!

  “Gh…! NOOOOO!!!!”

  I ignore the pain pulsing through my body and charge straight for the silverback with tears pouring out of my eyes.

  The chains! If I can just grab onto the chains!

  “Gahh!”

  The metal pulls taut as I grab the end, stopping the beast in its tracks.

  The monster looks back with its sharp eyes and pulls its arm forward.

  I can’t hold it long! My arms are numb, fingers are on fire!

  “Ugh…!”

  “Gigyaaa!!!”

  This isn’t even a contest. I may as well not even be pulling; it’s too strong.

  But I have to try! Every ounce of strength—! Lost it!

  “Gyaaahhh!!!”

  Its arm shoots backward, the chain flying over its head! Now’s my chance!

  His back is turned to the goddess!! Run! Got her hand!

  “This way!”

  —We are sitting ducks on the main street!

  I pull the goddess behind me and make a break for the back roads.

  It’s coming after us! I can hear its howls!

  Here comes another long chase… When will this end?!?

  “Why is it after you!?!”

  “You think I know?!?! Never seen it before, ever! I haven’t done anything!”

  I have a strong grip on her thin little hand. We’re yelling and running through narrow streets as fast as we can. She wants to know the answer to my question even more than I do, by the sound of her voice. She’s grabbing onto my hand, too…

  I can still feel the presence of that monstrosity behind us. It’s not going away.

  It’s set its sights on the goddess, and it’s not giving up.

  I’ve never seen a monster act like this, endlessly pursuing one target. It’s like it’s being manipulated by something smarter…

  What the hell is going on?!?

  I lead the goddess on a sprint through the back roads with all these thoughts running through my head.

  These narrow, dark backstreets are doing nothing to calm my nerves. I can see the sky among the tall buildings around us, but there’s no light down here.

  We ran south from East Main when the silverback attacked. We’re running in circles through the side streets between East and Southeast Main.

  I have no idea where we are. There was no time to remember the route.

  I take a glance behind me to check on the goddess. She doesn’t look good. She’s definitely in a good deal of pain. I can’t see the monster behind her in the maze of dark streets.

  But I know it’s here.

  It’s following us, I can feel it.

  Speed up! That’s the only way to lose it!

  Eyes front! Left, right, right again! We need to get away!

  “…! Bell, no! Not this way…!”

  “Eh?!”

  The goddess’s voice brings me back into the moment.

  We just rounded a big corner. Now I know what she meant…

&nbs
p; “—”

  The narrow roads have ended, but a total mess stands before us.

  The roads twist, overlapping and intersecting who knows how many times. Pieces of buildings randomly stick out into the street, stairwells snake through the entire block. It looks like a mass of rooms got mixed together and dumped onto this spot.

  It’s a dungeon, built by human hands above the ground. A labyrinth town.

  “Daidaros Street…!”

  It’s a dirt-poor residential part of town where nothing makes sense.

  I heard that the streets are so complicated that once you get lost in there, you’ll never find your way out. Daidaros Street was named after the architect who designed this jungle. In terms of losing your way, it is very much a dungeon.

  The artificial labyrinth spreads out below me, all the way to the city wall. The goddess and I stop at the top of the road that leads down to the entrance.

  This is insane! If we go in there, we’ll be fighting a dungeon and a monster at the same time!

  The goddess is out of breath, her hands on her knees, shoulders heaving. We lock eyes for a moment, we’re in tough shape. She knows it, I know it. Her eyes are shaking…

  “GAAAAHHHHHH!!!!”

  “!!”

  The monster is behind us!

  We have no choice now. I grab the goddess’s hand and run downhill, straight into Daidaros Street.

  The street becomes a wide stairwell. A dark brick jungle looms ahead.

  We rush in. The thick, humid air weighs us down almost immediately.

  Several shabby stone shacks litter the main entrance of the residential… no, labyrinth town. Many magic stone lamps dot the sides of houses, weakly spitting light onto the street. There are people out walking around above and below us. They look like they know their way around these impossible pathways.

  That woman sees us! Maybe she’ll help… or not. As soon as she sees the silverback, her eyes triple in size before she runs away. Others are doing the same. Why is no one helping us?!

  “Guugaahhh!”

  “…!”

  It’s catching up. How long can the goddess keep this up? She doesn’t have Falna, like me.

  Actually, she has kept up very well. But we have to keep moving, and she’s falling behind. Even now the beast is reaching for her!