Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?

by Fujino Omori

  Freya watched Bell’s white head as the boy ran down the road, making a beeline for the exit. She squinted her eyes.

  Freya turned to leave, her silver hair sparkling in the sunlight.

  “Let’s play again, Bell.”

  “Guoooooooooo!!!?!”

  The troll was slain in one decisive blow.

  “Nn, the end?”

  “Yes…”

  Aiz withdrew her silver sword from the troll’s body, flicked off the blood, and slid it cleanly back into its sheath in one smooth motion. She watched the monster fall to the pavement with a thunderous boom. Townsfolk instantly came out of their hiding places and surrounded Aiz with cheers.

  Loki stood behind Aiz, supporting her head with her hand and looking bored out of her mind. A small “hmmm” escaped her lips.

  “I’d say they didn’ have their own rhythm. Looks like everybody’s all right, no big problems… Feels like they were dancin’ to someone else’s beat.”

  Aiz nodded to herself, agreeing with Loki’s assessment.

  They had rushed all over the East Block protecting the citizens. However, the monsters hadn’t run away, just wandered around the city as if they were looking for something.

  Aiz couldn’t shake the feeling that something had guided these monsters from above.

  “That all of ’em?”

  “Not quite… There is still one left.”

  Out of the nine monsters that escaped, only the silverback remained unaccounted for.

  That was a monster that Aiz could slay in an instant. Loki was even less interested but started to run anyway. She wanted this monster hunt to be over already. Aiz followed silently behind her.

  They headed for East Main after talking with a few citizens who had seen the silverback from their hiding places.

  “Ehhhh? What’s this, over already?”

  Rather than seeing scared faces and a rampaging monster, the townsfolk were celebrating in the street.

  Loki went up to the edge of the crowd to get some information.

  “Hey, lady! Where’s the monster? What’s goin’ on?”

  “Didn’t you hear? That boy struck it down! Heard it from a few folks from Daidaros. They ran deep into that maze, and he slew it with one strike!”

  “Hold up, lady. ‘That’ boy? Who’s ‘that’ boy?”

  “You mean you didn’t see him run through here? A young adventurer with reddish eyes and white hair? Yeah… looked like a rabbit!”

  “Huh?”

  Loki’s face contorted with confusion, but the blond girl standing behind her jumped.

  White hair…?

  She had seen someone like that.

  This morning, looking outside from the café.

  The red-eyed, white-haired boy who had been hurt because of her.

  “Excuse me! Please let me through!”

  A new wave of noise swept over the crowd. “That” adventurer had returned.

  People in the crowd started cheering, pushing to get a better look. Loki ran into the swam, yelling, “Me, too! Me, too!” Aiz stayed behind, standing still and feeling a little lonely.

  Aiz didn’t want to be left out, so she walked up to the edge of the crowd and stood on her tiptoes trying to get a good look.

  “—Excuse me!!”

  “!”

  At that moment, a boy ducking as low as he could burst out of the crowd and right past her.

  Her golden eyes followed him, trying to figure out if it was him.

  … It really is.

  The boy didn’t acknowledge her as he rushed by. Aiz watched his back shrink into the distance.

  There was no mistaking him. He was the boy she had saved from the Minotaur.

  He slew… a silverback…?

  He was weak. Her comrade may have gone a little overboard, but the boy had been a clumsy, inexperienced adventurer.

  The boy she remembered could never have slain a silverback.

  “… Congrats.”

  The word left her lips before she realized it.

  But she wanted to congratulate the boy who had run out of the bar, humiliated and spewing tears, on his incredible growth.

  “……”

  She wasn’t interested in the trick he used to slay it, but still.

  She decided that for the time being, she should seek him out at least once and apologize.

  Click. A door closed.

  Bell ran up to the girl who came out of the room, Syr.

  “S-Syr, how is she? How is the goddess?”

  “She’s all right. Just exhausted.”

  “Exhausted… so that means…?”

  “Yes, she’ll be just fine.”

  The sun was setting outside the window.

  Bell was on the second floor of The Benevolent Mistress.

  After running through the crowd on East Main, he happened to run into Syr. She suggested bringing the unconscious Hestia to the bar.

  People were starting to calm down after the eventful Monsterphilia. Damage had been kept to a minimum by Ganesha Familia and the Guild’s quick response. There were no injuries, let alone deaths, among the fairgoers. In fact, Bell was the only one hurt this afternoon.

  The one responsible for today’s incident was still at large, and there were no leads. This was because all of the Ganesha Familia and Guild members who’d been attacked couldn’t remember anything, as if they had been cursed by a witch’s magic. The case was closed without knowing what the perpetrator wanted.

  All was quiet on the second floor of The Benevolent Mistress, away from the bar below. Hestia was resting in a room while Syr and Bell stood in the hallway. The setting sun shone through a west-facing window, filling the wooden hall with reddish light.

  “That’s such a relief… She just collapsed. I didn’t know what to do…”

  “Hmm, well done today, Bell.”

  She smiled at the visibly drained boy and timidly started talking.

  “I’m very sorry about today. If I hadn’t forgotten my wallet, you wouldn’t have gotten caught up in that mess…”

  “What are you saying? It’s not your fault at all!”

  Syr looked so apologetic as Bell tried many times to reassure her. After a few long moments, her face relaxed. Bell was relieved.

  “But today, so many people were talking about you. How brave that adventurer, how brave you were.”

  “Ehhh…”

  “I think so, too. Actually, I saw you fighting the silverback on Main Street for a moment…”

  “I wasn’t that brave… All I did was run away, and I couldn’t damage it at all…”

  Bell strung words together confusedly. He didn’t know how to react to her kind compliments, so he just put on a smile and shrugged his shoulders.

  Syr giggled when she saw his face, her light gray hair shaking.

  “Even so, you looked really good.”

  “Eh?”

  “… I probably shouldn’t say this, but seeing you face down that monster… I fell for you at that moment.”

  She whispered those words into his ear behind her hand. Bell’s eyes shot open.

  Syr stepped back, her face tinted red by the evening sun. A beautiful smile bloomed on her lips.

  “I was asked to assist at the bar, so I will excuse myself now.”

  “Eh, um, yeah…”

  “Don’t worry about the bed, she can use it. Well, then, Bell. Until next time.”

  Thump, thump, thump. Bell was left speechless as he watched Syr walk to the end of the hall and down the stairs. He scratched his head.

  “Was she teasing me…?”

  Her eyes had looked a bit like she was playing a cruel joke, or maybe that was just the sunlight. He didn’t know what to believe. Bell did his best to get his cheeks to cool down before walking over to the room where Hestia was sleeping.

  Maybe I should let her rest…, he thought while looking at the number plate on the door.

  Thump! The sound of something hitting the floor reached his ea
rs moments later.

  “?!”

  Bell burst into the room. He found Hestia on the floor, as if she had rolled over and fallen straight down.

  However, she landed facedown in a very comical, unladylike pose.

  Bell yelled out as he ran over to her. He kneeled next to her, picked her up under her shoulders, and held her.

  “G-Goddess! Goddess?! What’s wrong?! What happened?”

  “Ah, Bell… It’s nothing… I tried to get up, but I wasn’t strong enough…”

  “Not strong enough…? I heard that you were exhausted. Just what were you doing for the past three days?”

  The goddess’s eyes wandered off.

  “Dogeza.”

  “Do-ge-za??”

  “I did dogeza in front of a stubborn goddess who refused to nod her head up and down for thirty hours in a race of endurance…”

  “T-thirty hours…?! Just what is dogeza? Some kind of torture?!”

  “No, a technique. It’s the technique to end all techniques.”

  Hestia kept muttering “technique” over and over; she wasn’t making sense. Bell broke out in a cold sweat.

  “But why, Goddess…? Didn’t you say you were going to a party?!”

  “… This.”

  “Huh?”

  Hestia’s shaking hand reached around and pulled out the black knife that was tucked into the back of Bell’s belt. It suddenly hit Bell that he had no idea what this blade was or where it had come from.

  He was about to ask her where and how she got it, but he gasped before he could get the words out. His eyes found the hieroglyphic Hφαιστος engraved in the corner of the sheath.

  —Hephaistos.

  This was the only symbol he understood without being able to read it.

  It was the logo on top of the weapons shop that he thought he would never have any connection to, Hephaistos Familia.

  “Goddess, isn’t this…?”

  “Sorry to make you worry… But I couldn’t just sit on the sidelines. Being supported, being saved all the time… I just couldn’t put up with it.”

  Bell held the handle of the weapon with shaking hands as Hestia pulled off the sheath.

  Bell took another look at the black blade itself.

  The cutting edge was completely straight. He could tell just by looking that this weapon was far more powerful than the one he carried now. Could all of these detailed markings covering it be hieroglyphs?

  The entire weapon was the same color as Hestia’s hair. The blade glowed a deep purple hue in Bell’s hand. It was like a baby breathing in its father’s arms.

  “I knew. You are always going to Hephaistos’s shop and looking into that window. I don’t think this is the blade you wanted, but this is the only one of its kind in the world. Pretty cool, huh?”

  “Well, yeah, but… Hephaistos’s weapons are extremely expensive… What about the money?!”

  “It’s okay. Everything has been taken care of.”

  Hestia’s voice was weak, her eyes cloudy.

  She looked at Bell with a weak and wearied face but smiled softly.

  “You want to get stronger, right?”

  “!”

  “I told you I’d help, didn’t I? At least let me do this much for you.”

  “Hhh… ehhhh…”

  “I want to help you more than anything, more than anyone… Because I love you.”

  “…!”

  Torrents of tears fell from Bell’s eyes.

  Hestia’s cheeks turned light pink as she smiled from ear to ear.

  “Please count on me anytime. I am your goddess, after all.”

  Bell was past his limit.

  He hugged Hestia to his chest, face soaked in tears.

  “Goddess!!”

  Bell held on to her tiny frame in the same manner a child holds a teddy bear.

  “Hey, hey, the blade is still out. That’s dangerous, you know?”

  It was very hot against his chest. She might have said it, but she wrapped her hands around Bell’s back.

  She nestled her head up against his neck, running her fingers through his snow-white hair.

  The sound of his sobbing and sniffling filled her ears.

  He was showing her raw emotion, not hiding anything. She felt that this crying boy loved her more than anyone else.

  Ahhh, I’m sooooo happy.…

  In reality, Hestia wasn’t very romantic. She was only putting on a strong face for the boy.

  But it was okay to fake it a little, as long as it was for him.

  These thoughts went through Hestia’s mind as she lay happily in Bell’s embrace.

  This is true love. We are perfect for each other.

  In the last moment, Hestia misunderstood in a very big way.

  HESTIA◆KNIFE

  • THIRTY YEAR LOAN, 420 PAYMENTS

  • A PROMISE MADE THROUGH FORCED LABOR AT HESPHAISTOS FAMILIA’S BABEL BRANCH LOCATION. HESTIA’S EXTREME SHOPPING.

  • “A HIGH QUALITY BLADE FOR NEWBIE ADVENTURERS” CREATED BY HEPHAISTOS HERSELF AFTER MUCH DELIBERATION.

  • HESTIA’S HAIR, BLOOD “IKORU,” AND HIEROGLYPHS WENT INTO ITS CREATION. THE KNIFE HAS A STATUS OF ITS OWN.

  • IT GAINS EXPERIENCE ALONG WITH ITS USER AND GROWS. THE WEAPON IS ALIVE.

  • ONLY SOMEONE WITH HESTIA’S BLESSING CAN USE IT. IT WILL BECOME WORTHLESS IN ANYONE ELSE’S HANDS.

  • WHEN ITS USER BECOMES “THE BEST,” SO WILL THE WEAPON. HEPHAISTOS HAS DEEMED IT “BAD FOR BUSINESS.”

  EPILOGUE

  FAMILIA ◆ MYTH

  It was just after Hestia’s fiftieth failure to recruit someone into her Familia.

  Her shoulders drooping, she happened to see the back of someone who looked lonely.

  Judging from his build from behind, he was human. The thin, white-haired boy was wandering around the city with drooping shoulders, just like her.

  Hestia was interested, so she decided to follow him for a while.

  She hid in the shadows of buildings, careful not to make a sound so he wouldn’t see her. Tap tap tap. She trailed him.

  He was trying to get into a Familia, apparently. He was going from Familia home to home and getting turned away at the door every time. Hestia followed him to no fewer than ten different Familias before the tired boy took a seat on the road.

  The lonely boy looked up, half watching the crowds of people pass by. He was looking for a place to call his own. If she left him like this, he might die of loneliness. Or so Hestia thought as she looked at his white visage.

  “Hey! You there! The back roads are dangerous. You shouldn’t use them, you know?”

  The boy realized someone was talking to him.

  He had stood up to go into a back road before hearing a stranger’s voice. He turned around with surprise in his eyes to find Hestia.

  “T-thanks… um… Who are you? Did you get lost back here all by yourself?”

  “… The one who looks lost is you, don’t you think?”

  It was the worst meeting possible. This wasn’t the first time; people always treated Hestia like a child when they first met her. However, as soon as the boy realized who she was, he furiously apologized over and over again.

  “Ohh. So no matter what Familia you go to, they all refuse and show you the door?”

  “Y-yes…”

  Pretending that she didn’t already know, Hestia stole a few looks at the boy.

  While he didn’t look too dependable, there was nothing wrong with his character. Actually, she kind of liked him.

  From this short conversation, she could tell that for better or worse, he was a child.

  “Well, you see, um… I’m looking for an adventurer to add to my Familia right now, actually. This is quite the coincidence, don’t you think…?”

  There was an almost painful hint of desperation in Hestia’s voice. She had yet to successfully recruit even one adventurer.

  “I’ll join! Please, let me join!”

  “… Are
you sure that you are okay joining a Familia like mine?”

  “Yes, of course! Are you sure that someone like me is welcome?”

  Everything happened quickly after that. The two of them jubilantly introduced themselves, and Hestia Familia was born.

  “All right, Bell. Follow me! We’ll make your induction into my Familia official!”

  “Yes, coming!”

  She led him to a run-down bookstore.

  An older human was behind the counter inside the store. He shook his short white beard when he saw Hestia come inside.

  “Ah, Miss Hestia. If this is about your Familia, I still say no.”

  “It’s not that! Can we use the upstairs room please, Mister?”

  “Ah-ah. That’s no problem. Just put the books back on the shelf when you finish reading them.”

  Hestia took Bell’s hand and led him upstairs into a room that smelled like old wood.

  The room was lined with shelves full of books from corner to corner. There were even books piled up on the floor in front of the shelves.

  Hestia didn’t have money to buy books herself, so she got on the good side of this store’s owner and often came here to indulge in some literature.

  “Okay, take off your clothes and sit here.”

  “My… clothes?”

  “Ah, just your shirt is fine. I’m going to engrave my blessing into you now.”

  Hestia couldn’t hide her giddiness as she set to work, engraving her Falna into his back.

  She had decided a long time ago that she would give her first blessing to a child in this room.

  Starting out from a place surrounded by what she loved was perfect.

  What could be better than beginning a new story surrounded by many books?

  “Bell, why did you want to become an adventurer?”

  “Well, actually, ever since I was young I wanted to meet girls like the heroes in Dungeon Oratoria…”

  “Meet girls…? You wanted to become an adventurer to do that…?”

  “It’s not just that! Meeting girls is the pinnacle! It’s a man’s romance! My grandfather, who raised me, always said that ‘Harems are the best’!”

  “I think your grandfather was mistaken…”