Never Never Land

by Treva Harte

  NEVER NEVER LAND

  Treva Harte

  www.loose-id.com

  Warning

  This e-book contains sexually explicit scenes and adult language and may be considered offensive to some readers. Loose Id® e-books are for sale to adults ONLY, as defined by the laws of the country in which you made your purchase. Please store your files wisely, where they cannot be accessed by under-aged readers.

  Never Never Land

  Treva Harte

  This e-book is a work of fiction. While reference might be made to actual historical events or existing locations, the names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Published by

  Loose Id LLC

  1802 N Carson Street, Suite 212-2924

  Carson City NV 89701-1215

  www.loose-id.com

  Copyright © May 2008 by Treva Harte

  All rights reserved. This copy is intended for the purchaser of this e-book ONLY. No part of this e-book may be reproduced or shared in any form, including, but not limited to printing, photocopying, faxing, or emailing without prior written permission from Loose Id LLC.

  ISBN 978-1-59632-702-3

  Available in Adobe PDF, HTML, MobiPocket, and MS Reader

  Printed in the United States of America

  Editor: C. B. Calsing

  Cover Artist: Croco Designs

  Chapter One

  Friday: Chris’s Condo

  “Jesus, Chris, why can’t we spring for a meal at a restaurant once in a while?” Adam balanced cartons of takeout Chinese as Chris held the door open. “You are so freakin’ tight. And not in a good way.”

  Jake smiled as he watched from the kitchen. The Adam-and-Chris show was about to start.

  Chris grabbed at the teetering carton on top and hissed as the heat burned his fingers. “Not all of us have the money to spend on some expensive dinner every week. Just because you feel flush this week is no reason to change the routine.”

  “You have the money to spend. And how do you know I have money this week?” Adam plunked the cartons down on the kitchen counter.

  “Takeout from Lucky Three. How long have we all been meeting like this? We all know Lucky Three food means you have money.” Jake strolled out of Chris’s kitchen with three beers dangling from one large hand. He thrust one at Chris. “Use it to cool your fingers down if you don’t want to drink it. I put more in the refrigerator for when you two want some.”

  Chris nodded, put the beer down on a coaster, and drifted back to the kitchen. Jake could feel tension slowly slipping away from the back of his neck. Chris was in the kitchen; Adam was here. The weekend had begun.

  Adam grabbed for his beer and took one long, greedy gulp. “German import? You do have good taste in beer, Jake. That’s at least one good thing about you.”

  “Asshole.” Jake moved to the stereo and began to play with the dials. “Let’s see if I can find some decent music.”

  He was one of the very few people Chris would let touch his expensive audio equipment. Adam, who wasn’t among those trusted to handle Chris’s valuable toys, scowled at Jake and took another gulp.

  Music drifted out of the speakers. Nothing too kick-ass to start. Not that Chris had a lot of kickass in his CD collection. Jake glanced out the patio doors at the ocean. Chris was an orderly guy ‑‑ nicely decorated condo, beautiful view, perfect table settings, alphabetized CDs. Despite all that potentially boring precision, his place wasn’t dull. It was soothing. There was only one thing missing to make this just like every Friday night. And thank God for Friday night routine. Jake silently toasted to Friday routine and took another gulp.

  The buzzer sounded again. Adam bounded for the door ahead of Chris.

  “Jenni!” His exuberant hug almost knocked the pie tin from Jenni’s hands. “You’re the last one here. That’s so not like you.”

  Jenni always brought dessert when they went to Chris’s.

  Now everything and everyone was in place.

  Jenni laughed, hugged him back, and righted the tin before it slid to the floor. “I like to be able to have you three guessing once in awhile.”

  Jake glanced over at the others and, for a split second, saw them almost the way a stranger would. Tiny Jenni, hanging onto her pie like it held the answer to world peace. Adam, shorter than the other men, almost leaping off the walls with energy. Chris, only allowing a glimpse of his tall frame from the kitchen, puttered in the background, making sure everything was just right.

  Jake glanced over at the mirror, trying to see himself the way others would. He was close to Chris in height but built like the ex-football player he was. He had a five o’clock shadow making an appearance, no shoes on, and he was slouched against the wall, his eyelids drooping half-shut while he enjoyed his beer.

  No. He had no idea what he looked like to strangers. Probably a Neanderthal or a wino.

  Adam bent over Jenni’s pie tin, and the brief moment of seeing them with new eyes ended. These people were the three constants in his world, looking and acting just the way they always did.

  “What’s for dessert?” Adam sniffed.

  “Chocolate meringue pie. Low fat.”

  “Ewww.” Adam shrank back from the dessert.

  “We all could do with a little less fat. And I remember what Jake said after his last checkup.”

  “Oh, for God’s sake.” Jake looked at the tin in disgust. “I’m not going to die from having a slice of pie.”

  “Not from this pie, anyhow.” Jenni placed it on the carefully set table and then stood on her toes to brush Jake’s cheek with her lips. “And it tastes good. I promise. Chris darling, should I light the candles?”

  “Tastes good. That’s what they all say right before you swallow,” Adam said.

  “And you believe them every time, buddy.” Jake looked suspiciously at the pie and then even more suspiciously at Jenni. “So, what’s going on?”

  “Nothing special here.” Jenni carefully lit the first candle, not waiting any longer for permission. “You know me. Nothing much ever happens.”

  “Last I heard you’d met a new man. That should be special.” Adam pulled on one stray tendril of brown hair that dangled from Jenni’s pulled back bun. “New men are always interesting.”

  “Shut up, Adam.” Chris brought out the plates but didn’t begin serving the food. He watched Jenni instead.

  “Wha ‑‑ oh.” Adam looked at Jenni’s face. “What happened, sweetie?”

  “Nothing.” Jenni blew out the match very, very carefully, totally focusing on it rather than the circle of men around her. “Like always. It didn’t work out.”

  “Why not?” Adam asked.

  “I don’t know.”

  “You don’t know?”

  “All right, I do. Because I suck at being with men. That’s why.”

  “You’re with us!” Adam protested.

  “You’re not men. Uh. God, that came out wrong. I’m so sorry. No offense meant.”

  “Almost none taken, sweetie.” Adam picked up a fresh beer bottle.

  Jenni blushed. “You’re my friends. I mean that you guys are never going to have a relationship with me. So of course we’re fine.”

  “We do have a relationship with you, girl. A long-standing, very nice relationship.” Chris patted her shoulder. “But we understand.”

  “I hate sex. Sex screws up everything.” Jenni gulped and walked out onto the balcony, carefully shutting the French doors behind her.

  “She does sort of have a point there.” Chris looked at the other two.

  “Speak for
yourself.” Adam shrugged. “All right, maybe she does. But it’s not a good point.”

  “Jenni deserves better than Friday nights with us. Even if that helps her avoid sex and screwups,” Chris said.

  Jake looked at the figure standing outside, resolutely staring out at the ocean waves, her back to them. They all knew she was trying not to cry. Jenni hated to cry.

  “Hey!” Adam said. “All right, shutting up. I assume you also have a point here. Enlighten us.”

  “We should find her someone.” Chris took a sip of his beer.

  The two men stared at him. After ten years Jake could count on his fingers, with digits left over, how often he’d seen Chris drink. But what he’d said was even more amazing. Chris had never been the “get in touch with his emotions” type, much less the “get in touch with someone else’s.”

  The silence didn’t last long.

  “We should? We can’t find anyone for ourselves!” Adam yelped.

  For once, Jake was sure Adam was totally, absolutely, one hundred percent right.

  “We probably should help her find someone, but I’m not sure I’m strong enough to handle that.” Jake shoved his hands in his pockets.

  “Please. If a guy walked in right now, within minutes Jake would have this intense nonsexual thing going on with him and then find out he’s straight or else he’d fall for my looks and charm ‑‑”

  “And run, screaming, less than two days later, sick of listening to you,” Chris broke in.

  “Or hit on Chris for a loan. All the kiss of death scenarios. How would we find someone for Jenni?”

  “God, I don’t know. Let me think.” Chris frowned. “Well, we can start with Jake. Jake has this anti-gaydar thing going for him. He can at least find us some straight guys.”

  How the hell did he suddenly take center stage in this insanity?

  “Thanks.” Jake flipped him the bird. “Before we start, shouldn’t we think about what Jenni would like?”

  “In guys?” Adam asked.

  “If she’d like us to do this for her.”

  “Hell, I’d love it if she’d set me up with guys!” Adam said.

  “Shut up, Adam,” the two other men chorused.

  “We can’t ask her.” Chris began to pace. “She’d fuck it up. She’s right about that. She sucks at relationships with guys she’s interested in.”

  “What if we fuck it up? What do we know about what straight women like?” Jake shuddered and took a drink. “Nothing.”

  “We know about Jenni.” Adam’s voice was suddenly serious. “She’s listened to us when we’ve screwed up, time and time again. She cares about us. We owe her.”

  “I hate to say it, but he’s right.” Chris glanced toward the balcony. “She’s lonely and she deserves better.”

  “We all deserve better,” Adam muttered.

  “Yeah, but I’m thinking Jenni has the best shot of getting better. She should have the best shot. We’re fuckups. She’s not. She’s a sweetheart, except she hangs out with us too much.” Chris looked at the other two, cleared his throat, and shut down again.

  This. Was. A. BAD. Idea. Jake knew it.

  “You may be right about the fuckup part, but why don’t we let Jenni go and do her own thing? Free choice and all that?” Jake looked at the other two.

  “She can make a choice. It’s just that she’s been standing on the diving board for years, saying she wants to dive and never doing it. We’re helping her.” Adam threw his hands up.

  What the hell was this, the Dr. Phil show?

  “No, we’re not. We’re interfering. She’ll kill us. She should kill us. I want to kill us for even having this conversation. I vote no.” Jake would have yelled, but Jenni might have heard him.

  “Jake, what harm is there in helping Jenni? She’s there for us. Who came and bailed you out that time you got in a fight in the spa parking lot? Who found you the lawyer when the customer threatened to sue you over his black eye?”

  “Don’t, Adam… All right, Jenni did. That doesn’t mean we stick our noses in where we aren’t wanted. We’d be acting like she can’t take care of herself.”

  “Who ran to take her out when she got stood up on her thirtieth birthday, and who threatened to track the guy down and smash his face?”

  “I did. We all did. But that’s a friend thing. This is a ‑‑ this is a ‑‑ damn it, you’re going to out-argue me because you can do that, but this is different.”

  “Jenni could use our support. How is that not a friend thing?”

  “Crap. I don’t know. All right, I can’t believe this, but I think I’m agreeing with you two. Just don’t drag this out any more. I don’t like it, but I give up.” Jake felt a little sick. “And please let’s try not to make fools of ourselves.”

  Adam waved dismissively. “Oh hell, we always do that. But let’s try not to make a fool out of Jenni.”

  Chapter Two

  Friday: The Restaurant

  “I’m not doing this.” Jake stood in front of the crowded little restaurant. “This is insane.”

  He’d gotten through the week by not thinking about what his role was supposed to be tonight, but he couldn’t forget about it any longer.

  “If you have a better idea, tell us now. Quickly. Otherwise we’re absolutely doing this.” Chris pulled a neatly folded paper from his pocket.

  “Maybe we could just go to a bar and get really drunk and try to pick up some guys?”

  “Jenni isn’t a drinker. Bars are out. And we are not picking up guys for ourselves tonight.”

  “Chris, you’re the business exec. You must know some solid, reputable types.” Jake braced his shoulders, silently refusing to enter.

  Chris tapped the paper. “We made up the list. You know Jenni wouldn’t want business types. Besides, most of the men I know are married. She wouldn’t want that, either.”

  “Nice muscle flexing with those big shoulders. Very military, Sarge,” Adam commented. “However, while you can resist us all you want, you know you’ll end up doing this for Jenni. C’mon. This is a nice place. Not too fancy, not too downscale, not too trendy. Plenty of singles. I’ve heard good things about it.”

  Chris began to read from the paper. “Remember you want straight, single ‑‑”

  “I think I got that part down ‑‑”

  “Clean-cut, sincere, not a big drinker ‑‑”

  “Can I just go to a Boy Scout meeting instead?” Jake muttered. Chills were starting to run down his spine. This was so not going to work out. And somehow, everyone would decide it was his fault.

  “Hot.” Adam poked his shoulder. “I think Jenni deserves a hot guy.”

  “It would be good if he wasn’t totally freaked out by gay males, too,” Chris said thoughtfully. “I’d hate to have to give up seeing her. Oh, and not a tourist.”

  “God, don’t start adding more things for me to look for. It’s bad enough as it is.” Jake swallowed.

  “Not to worry, Jake. You stroll in there, and we’ll lay bets that you are going to strike up some conversation with a straight guy and probably spend hours chatting. It’s happened every other time you go to a restaurant on your own. Oh hell, forget the criteria. Pick someone you’d like to bang. You don’t have bad taste, just the gender preference gets a little screwed.” Adam slapped him on the shoulder. “It’s probably because you still look military. Guys figure you’re the all-American straight male. Dudley Do-Right.”

  “He was Canadian. Anyhow, once I find one, if I find one, what the hell do I do with him?”

  “We’ve gone over this. Chris and I will slip on in about a half hour from now with Jenni and scope him out. If we give the thumbs up, that’s when you pretend to have just seen us, come over and say hey. We’ll figure it out from there. Jenni will be her own charming self because she’ll figure he’s with you.” Adam smiled at him. “Now go get him. We have absolute confidence in you. We’ll go get Jenni.”

  Jake growled and almost tore the door off its hinge
s on his way in.

  Adam looked at Chris. “Is he going to screw this up? I’m betting he screws it up.”

  “Maybe. But Jake usually manages to follow orders. We can but hope.” Chris waved his car keys. “Let’s get Jenni before she thinks we’ve stood her up. We don’t need her in a bad mood.”

  “Yeah. Dealing with Jake will be bad enough.”

  * * * * *

  Adam glanced over at the bar. Sure enough, a man was leaning on the bar, engaged in intense discussion with Jake.

  “Nice ass,” Adam mouthed while Jenni was staring at the menu.

  Chris took his finger and gestured a slit across his throat. “You ever been here before, Jenni?”

  “No. It seems nice enough. A little crowded.” Jenni looked first at Adam, then back at Chris. “Is something going on? Where’s Jake?”

  Chris put his menu down. “I guess traffic was bad on his side of town, which is another reason we shouldn’t go out to restaurants on Friday nights. Traffic is always bad when we try to go to places Adam picks out. He follows the crowd.”

  “Better than becoming a hermit, asshole. You’ve gotten too cheap to go anywhere lately.”

  “Boys!” Jenni shook her head. “You two need to lay off each other. I know you like to tease, but things have just gotten progressively worse between you for the last few months. I think we all need to talk about that since apparently you won’t do it on your own.”

  Chris opened his mouth. Shut it again. Adam stared over Jenni’s shoulder.

  “Um, yeah ‑‑ oh, there’s Jake!” Adam stood up and beckoned. “I think he abandoned us for some cutie at the bar.”

  Chris finally took a good look and nodded. “For once, I think Adam isn’t overstating the case. The man is seriously cute.”

  Jenni twisted her neck as far back as she could. “I can’t see him. Either him.”

  “No worries. They’re both coming over.”

  “And I still think we all need to talk. But not in front of Jake’s latest pickup,” Jenni said in a low voice before she leaned over Chris’s lap to hug Jake. “Hi, big guy! What took you so long?”