Never Never Land

by Treva Harte

  “Then do it. Because I don’t want to let go. Ever.”

  * * * * *

  “It’s not fair, by the way. I know that. But I’m going to ask. Again.”

  Adam sat up from where he’d been lying on Chris, almost asleep, listening to Chris’s heartbeat go from trying to jump out of his chest to a reassuring, steady beat. He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands.

  Here it came. The same old request. He knew what it was going to be because he was back into Chris’s head again, just like he used to be.

  “Just me, Adam. I can’t handle the other people. I don’t care if they don’t mean anything. And I know that’s even less fair to ask than usual because I can’t ‑‑ we can’t ‑‑ at least for now we can’t ‑‑”

  “Yeah, I know. I know the whole routine by now. You don’t have to say it.” Adam stared at the immaculate Oriental rug on the floor. Memorized the elaborate design in the center.

  “I know, Adam. You can’t promise. I know the whole routine, too.”

  Adam looked over at Chris, sitting on the floor with his back slumped against the couch.

  “I’ll try not to mind. I swear. I won’t let it get to me this time.” Chris didn’t look up. “I’m not perfect. God, we know that. I’ve done things I’m not happy about, either. But I don’t want us to fuck this up again.”

  He had to fall for a puritanical gay male. A puritanical, monogamous gay male. One who happened to be HIV positive. How hard was it to find one of them?

  “I’ll ‑‑” Adam took a deep breath. “Jesus, I’ll try, Chris. If it’s possible, I really will keep my hands to myself.”

  “It’s not your hands I’m worried about, despite the spectacular hand jobs.”

  “I said really great, not spectacular, although I’m happy to be upgraded.” Adam swallowed. “I mean it, you know, Christian.”

  Chris hated people using his full name. Adam only did it to piss him off or when he was really serious.

  “Me too, Adam.”

  “All right then.”

  “All right. We’re good?” Adam couldn’t help the sudden fear that hit him while he waited for the answer.

  “We’re great, lover.”

  Chapter Seven

  Friday: The Restaurant

  “Meeting your mystery man is about the wildest thing you’ve done in years, Jenni. Congrats!” Carissa sipped her Diet Coke.

  “You know, wild doesn’t get you anywhere. I didn’t get out of the neighborhood we grew up in by being wild. I did it by working my ass off and not taking chances.” Jenni perused the menu.

  “Well, that might work for a nerdy almost-white girl, but I sure didn’t get out by playing it safe.” Carissa snorted into her drink at the thought. “I ‑‑ ooooh, now that is one nice-looking man. Seriously cute.”

  Jenni turned, stared, and waved. “Everyone says that about Cole.”

  “Oh my God! You know him?” Carissa hissed.

  “Definitely. But down, girl. He’s one of Jake’s ‑‑” Jenni broke off as Cole strolled closer to them. “Hi there, sailor! New in town?”

  He grinned at her. “New enough, Jenni. How are you? And how is your friend there?”

  “I’m Carissa.” Carissa obviously wasn’t going to wait for introductions. Jenni blinked, speechless.

  Carissa’s gaydar was usually perfect. Then again, Cole was giving off the interested waves that Carissa was so good at producing. In straight guys.

  But Jenni didn’t need to say much more. Cole included her in the conversation, but she could see Carissa was the focus of his attention. For a moment, Jenni thought about calling Jake, but she quickly decided that was not a good idea. At all.

  It looked like Jake had reeled in another catch he needed to throw back.

  Poor guy. It wasn’t like Cole hadn’t said at the start he was looking for a wife and kids. Jake had seemed fine with it then and she figured Jake knew better about how to handle things than she did. But maybe things had changed. And maybe that’s why he hadn’t said much about Cole for a long time. She’d just missed it with her own life starting to kick into high gear.

  Carissa stood up, careful to show off her legs, and leaned over to say good-bye to Cole. And Jenni, of course.

  “Give me a call later, girl,” Carissa said and whispered in her ear, “Jake’s what? Straight friend? Because if that man is gay, I’m a lesbian.”

  “We’ll talk. I promise.” Jenni smiled as sweetly as possible and wiggled her fingers at her friend. “Hey, Cole, I need to get to work myself. It was so nice to see you here.”

  “You and the rest meeting tonight?”

  “Yes.” Jenni thought fast. She couldn’t think of any reason to say no to the request Cole was just about telegraphing to her with his body language. Jake hadn’t said he never wanted to see Cole again. Cole obviously didn’t think Jake would mind. What to do? Jake must know about Cole by now. She was sure Jake didn’t wait until the third date to hit on someone. Waiting until the third date was a girl rule.

  “We’re eating out again since it’s technically Adam’s turn. Nothing big. You interested in showing up too?”

  And she’d call Jake to warn him as soon as she left the restaurant.

  * * * * *

  To: Jenni

  From: News_Lover

  Why don’t I tell you who I am? Because you already know me. I want you to see me differently before we meet again. I’m hoping you get a little spark going when you look at me this time. The way I did when I saw you.

  Jenni frowned into her computer screen. The problem was that she knew a lot of guys. A lot of guys. But she didn’t notice them. No sparks. No one she knew set off sparks.

  What if the most interesting cyber person she’d met in a long time turned out to be one of the faceless, bloodless men around her? She glanced over at the reporters near her, all chatting, keyboarding, lounging. Nice guys. Smart guys. But…

  She’d take a look and yawn.

  God, she didn’t want to do that again.

  * * * * *

  “It’s not that I mind being the only woman in the restaurant except the waitress, but it’s frustrating when none of the guys here are going to notice me despite those odds.” Jenni signaled the other female in the place. “Man, I really could use a drink. This has not been a good day.”

  “Sorry. It’s just that I wasn’t going to get to see you on time unless it was near my last closing.” Adam gave her a peck on the cheek before he seated himself opposite her. “The food is good, if that helps.”

  “The drinks better be even better. Screwdriver, please. Heavy on the orange juice.” Adam mouthed the last words along with her. “Shut up, Adam.”

  “Sorry, love. You not drinking is very cute. One of the things I love about you.”

  “Adam, what have you been drinking? No, wait. I get it. Our boy is in love again. That always makes you mushy.”

  Adam just smiled. Then he looked over her shoulder, and his face lit up.

  Jenni’s eyes widened. Adam really was ‑‑

  “Hey, there. Two of my favorite people.” Chris slid into the booth next to Adam. He reached over and squeezed Jenni’s hand. Then he turned to hold Adam tight and slid his face against Adam’s jaw, just resting against the other man. “Good to see you.”

  Jenni took a hasty gulp of her just-served screwdriver. For Chris to indulge in any PDA was the equivalent of someone else stripping naked in public and screaming, “I love him!”

  “So, I take it you two have kissed and made up?” Jenni asked.

  Adam smiled again and, for once, didn’t say a word. Chris firmly linked their hands, put them on top of the table and said, “Good guess.”

  “Congratulations. I’m very happy to hear it.” Her voice wobbled. “In fact, I may cry. Please don’t let me do that. Distract me.”

  “Well, Chris has my left hand which is the one I use to give hand jobs ‑‑ damn, that would distract him, not you. Sometimes I get confused.” Adam leaned o
ver the table and kissed Jenni again on the mouth. “Thanks, sweetie. We appreciate it.”

  “I think we need champagne.” Jenni kissed him back and then kissed Chris more discreetly on the cheek. She wasn’t sure how far Chris’s newfound exhibitionism would go.

  “What the hell do we need champagne for?” Jake was smiling, but he didn’t look all that thrilled as he strolled up.

  “Adam and Chris.”

  “While I might need champagne to wash down the sight of Adam and Chris ‑‑ oh. You’re shitting me. You two are finally a couple?” Jake slid in, next to Jenni, crowding her against the wall.

  “Looks like.” Apparently Chris was still going to do the talking.

  “Damn it. There went my chance to sleep with you, Chris. I’d been holding out hopes all these years.” Jake slapped Chris on the shoulder. “Adam, I hope your technique has improved, or you’ll never keep the man. Just remember me when you get tired of the guy, Chris.”

  “Asshole.” Adam didn’t move. Didn’t even twitch. It was like all his barely contained energy was completely relaxed as long as Chris was near. “You didn’t stand a chance. Chris happened to be holding out for my type. Everyone wants a smaller than average motormouth with bad hair. Besides, I am a spectacular lay. You just threw me off my stride, Jake, you were so bad in bed.”

  “Now that all the compliments are over, I think we ought to have champagne.” Jenni bit her lip to keep from laughing.

  “Sorry I’m late. Thanks for letting me show up.” Cole slid in the booth next to Chris. Jenni couldn’t help but notice his knees had to knock against Jake’s.

  And that Jake didn’t move his legs back.

  She so did not get any of this.

  “Who would have thought love could make Chris talk and Adam shut up?” Jake said as he finished the cappuccino. “This one was a night for the record books.”

  “Yeah. The boys also made a really early night of it. I guess bed was calling.” Jenni really didn’t know what to say. Cole seemed determined to stick around, even though everyone else had left or was about to leave. “I think I need to go now myself.”

  “No, stay!” Jake looked really sincere and very immovable. She would have to climb over the table to get out if he wasn’t going to let her go.

  “Please,” Cole added, looking like he meant it.

  Okay then. Jenni sat and admired the fork on her napkin. No one said anything.

  This was going to be a much longer evening than she thought.

  * * * * *

  “I thought we’d never have the chance to leave. I want to get you home fast.”

  “Chris.” Adam looked up and met Chris’s eyes in the restroom mirror.

  “Yeah?”

  “We don’t have to go home just yet.”

  “What? I thought you wanted ‑‑” Chris scowled at him while tidily throwing his paper towel into the trash.

  “I want exactly what you want, lover.” Adam stroked the back of Chris’s neck, just for the joy of watching Chris swallow hard. He knew Chris loved that. Loved that. “Only I don’t want to wait until we get home. You’ve been touching me all night, priming me. Great. I’m primed. Let’s do it.”

  “Here?” Chris’s voice cracked.

  “You could drag me into a stall if you’re shy. C’mon, Chris. Remember the dorm?”

  “Well, yeah, but that was college. And we knew no one was going to catch us at that time of the morning…” Chris let Adam box him against the counter.

  Adam cupped Chris’s balls and then ground his hips against Chris. They rocked together. Chris glanced toward the door of the men’s room but didn’t protest.

  “It got us both hot then. I can tell the idea is getting you hot now. No one will know. The gang probably figures we’ve left already.”

  “You know I’ve been wanting you all evening, Adam, but ‑‑”

  “A quickie, babe.” Adam pulled Chris into the stall. “The way we feel right now, we’ll be lucky not to come in our pants.”

  “Shit, Adam, you’re insane.” Chris unzipped Adam’s pants as he said the words.

  “Crazy about you… Chris!” He hadn’t expected Chris to drop to his knees and suck about four inches of Adam’s cock down his throat without preliminaries.

  “Condom, damn it.” Chris’s voice was muffled, but the words sounded good against the head of Adam’s cock.

  Besides, it meant Chris was going to go through with the whole damn nine yards. Adam almost wished he had nine yards. When Chris was in the mood, he’d deep throat. Twenty yards wouldn’t stop him.

  “Just a second more. Feels so good, babe.” Adam shut his eyes and fought the need to spew. “I love your mouth. Miss it like this.”

  God, he’d forgotten just how talented Chris’s mouth was and just how wild Chris could be when he decided to take on a dare. The fucker never let anything go half-done once he decided to do something. Thank God it was him Chris was going to do. Adam shoved forward, gripping Chris’s shoulders hard.

  In once. Out. Twice. Out. Ever so slowly out. Adam breathed in, out through his nose in almost the same rhythm and realized he was leaning heavily against the wall, trying to keep from falling.

  Chris followed him, sucking him in again.

  “Babe, I’m gonna ‑‑”

  “Condom!” Chris gripped his cock with a fist, circling it tightly.

  “If either of us touches me right now, I’m gonna blow.” Adam gripped the top of Chris’s head. “And I’m probably going to scream.”

  “Later.” Chris was rolling latex on him.

  Then he reached back and shoved a finger up Adam’s ass at the same time he fastened his mouth back on.

  Wanted to hold on. Make it last. Makeitlast. Make it ‑‑

  Chris’s hand was bruising his hips, holding on, letting Adam fuck his mouth hard. Chris. Oh God. Chris.

  “Jeeee ‑‑!” Adam howled. Chris stood up, clapped his hand over Adam’s mouth before Adam could finish the scream. This time, he ground himself hard against Adam.

  The zipper was slightly rough and so was Chris. Oh fucking yes. Chris was getting into it despite his inhibitions. Chris wanted him. Wanted him bad.

  Adam bit Chris’s hand as he let go, letting pure sensation wash over him and then out his cock.

  He let himself collapse against his lover.

  “Time to go, Adam. I forgot that you can’t help but be a screamer,” Chris whispered in his ear.

  “Yeah. Fuck you, Chris. You made me do it. And I see you didn’t even get undressed.”

  “That’s because I’m the smart one, lover.” Chris removed the condom, wiped him off gently, and then pulled up Adam’s pants. “Let’s get out of here before we get an audience.”

  “Spoilsport.”

  “Damn right.”

  “You aren’t even breathing hard, damn it.”

  “I might not be breathing hard but you can see there are other things that are.”

  Adam grinned. “I’ll make it up to you later. Promise. I know public sex isn’t your thing.”

  “I’m counting on you making up for it. Now let’s get out of here.”

  * * * * *

  “When I first met you guys, I wondered what was up.” Cole broke into the silence. “The group just didn’t make sense. None of you were hooked up ‑‑ not with each other, not with anyone else.”

  Jenni glanced at Jake and decided she was talking for them both this evening. “It happens.”

  “But you were all so damned hot for each other. I wasn’t totally sure who was hot for who or if you all just wanted to pile on each other or what, but you could feel it.” Cole glanced at them both. “But then, I could tell Jake wanted me. He kept backing off, but he wanted me.”

  “Jake liked you. Um, likes you.” Jenni looked at Jake.

  “Keep it past tense.” Jake cradled the empty cup in his hands, not looking at Cole. Or Jenni, for that matter.

  “I’m going to be way out of line here and I’m hoping you
will keep Jake from punching me, but ‑‑ listen, I like Jake. No past tense. I don’t get him or you or any of you, but I like him. I like you, too.” Cole shifted, uncomfortably. “Am I crazy for wondering if you are interested in a threesome?”

  Jenni suddenly realized that during their long non-conversation Jake had stretched his arm comfortably out behind her on the booth, almost like he was hugging her. Obviously their position had just hit Jake too, because he jerked the arm back.

  Jake’s cup fell to the floor with a smash.

  “A ‑‑” Jenni remembered where they were and cut off her words. People were already looking toward them to see what had broken.

  “Yes, you fucking are crazy!” Jake half-rose from his seat.

  “Jake,” Jenni hissed.

  Cole slid away. “I knew this could be your reaction. But I’m not so sure I’m wrong, even now. Maybe you two need to think about it. I’ll be in the can. Maybe you’ll be here when I get back, and we can talk.”

  Cole didn’t exactly run away, but he didn’t stroll either. Jake stared at Jenni.

  “No, I don’t want to talk. At all.” He stood up. “I’m going outside for a smoke.”

  Which showed how upset Jake was. Usually he pretended in front of her that he never smoked. It was kind of their own brand of don’t ask, don’t tell. He never said anything, but he never gave himself a cigarette break in front of her.

  “Jake, it’s all right.” Jenni reached for him.

  He evaded her hand. “No, it’s not. The fuckwad. Just let me out of here for a minute. I’m not staying around for more of his conversation.”

  “All right.” At least he’d be safely away from Cole. She didn’t want Jake to have another jail experience. Or for her, either, which was a possibility if they were all in the same place within the next few minutes.

  The waitress came and stood in front of her cutting her attention away from the rest of the room, obviously wanting Jenni to notice her.

  “Anything else, ma’am?”

  Uh-oh. The place was starting to crowd up and it was obviously time to stop wasting space.

  “I think we’re done, thanks.”

  Suddenly, a really bad thought hit her. If Jake was willing to risk an anti-smoking lecture from her, then ‑‑ oh, damn, he hardly ever lied to her, but…