The Lawman's Yuletide Baby

by Ruth Logan Herne

  “An hour. Once. She’s got her day and night reversed, as you can see.”

  She peeked around him and spied the baby curled up, sound asleep in the portable crib. Tucker lay nearby, also sound asleep. She redirected her attention up to Gabe. He looked done in, and she remembered those times too well. She thrust the sandwich into his plans and walked in. “So here’s the plan.”

  “Don’t wake her, Corinne.” He made a mock-desperate face that was probably more real than fake. He added a pretend growl, as if ready to stand his ground. “For the love of all that’s good and holy, don’t wake her.”

  She almost laughed out loud but caught herself just in time because she understood the joy of a sleeping baby. “I’m going to babysit right now so you can sleep. I’ll take Jessie to my place, so you can relax.”

  Yesterday he had refused offers of help. A sleepless night managed to change his tune. “You wouldn’t mind?”

  Mind? Not in the least, but if she sounded too anxious he’d hear the ticktock of her rusting biological clock. “I’d love it. And you’ll feel better after some rest. Why didn’t you call me last night?”

  “Guilt. I kept thinking of how nice it is to get a good night’s sleep, and it felt mean to wake you up. And I knew you had to work today, so I persevered.”

  “I’m on half days today and tomorrow because of the festival, then I took vacation for the rest of the week. And when someone makes you an offer of help, the right thing to do is take them up on that offer. Which means you should have called. But I do understand, because I was the same way, always insisting I could do everything myself. I was a single-parent dork. I kind of still am.” She couldn’t believe she was admitting that out loud, but she just did. “I’m not exactly proud of it.”

  “I don’t think you’re a dork, Corinne.”

  That voice. The look, as if he understood more than he possibly could.

  “I can own it,” she admitted. “Right now I’m going to enjoy an afternoon with this sweet baby while you rest. Got it?” She lifted the sleeping infant and wrapped her in a blanket. “Can you hook me up with a couple of bottles and diapers?”

  “Gratefully.”

  He looked done in. Worn out. But she sensed strength, too. Strength from within.

  She wanted to reach up a hand. Touch his tired cheek. Assure him everything would be okay.

  But she couldn’t do that and maintain her strict boundaries. His living so close had already messed up her strictly from-a-distance policy when it came to Gabe Cutler.

  His being next door and needing help with a four-month-old baby turned the tables completely.

  A baby changes everything... The words of the country song came back to her, a beautiful ballad of the first Christmas, still true today. A baby did change everything, which meant she had to harden her heart and stand firm. As she crossed the yard, she didn’t try to pretend it would be easy. Because the stakes had gone up. Way up.

  He followed her into the house. She tucked the baby onto the quilt she’d spread on the floor. Jessie wriggled, sighed, then latched onto her pacifier and dozed back off.

  “That’s what I call an excellent transfer of goods,” she said softly as she stood. “Transporting sleeping children without waking them is a highly desired parenting skill. Phase one of Operation Gabe Sleeps is complete.”

  His hand on her shoulder made her pause, and then turn.

  “This means a lot to me, Corinne.” His gaze went from her to the baby, and she sensed more than fatigue behind his words. “I’ll be able to relax, knowing she’s in good hands.”

  “Good.” This time she did reach up and touch his cheek.

  He leaned into her touch, then smiled.

  Her heart went crazy.

  Her pulse fluttered in a way that couldn’t possibly be good for either of them, but it didn’t just feel good.

  It felt marvelous. She withdrew her hand from his stubbly cheek. “See you later.”

  He didn’t hurry across the yard like she expected.

  He walked, eyes down, but when he got to his yard, he turned, looking tired but focused, too. He spotted her in the window and waved. And then he smiled.

  The smile brightened everything. The angst of his cousin’s life, the crush of festival prep, the gray November day...

  Amazing how one sincere smile helped make everything seem more doable. She loved his smile. That frank grin had attracted her over two years ago, but she couldn’t think about that now.

  For the moment she’d focus on the baby and the festival and her job and kids. That was plenty.

  She put on a pot of soup, then brought her laptop to the couch while Jessie slept. When Tee walked in at 2:55, she spotted the baby and almost squealed.

  She fought the urge when she realized Jessie was sleeping. “Mom, how cool! This is like the best surprise. Can I hold her when she’s awake?” She whispered the words, a rare occurrence where Tee was concerned.

  “Sure. If you get your homework done now, it should work out.”

  “I had a study hall so there isn’t much.”

  “Bonus!”

  Tee grinned. She took her backpack to the table and got to work, but every couple of minutes she glanced over and couldn’t hold back a smile.

  Some kids liked the idea of babies and little kids but couldn’t deal with the reality. Not Tee. Her new little cousins could be pesky, cute, whiny or messy and Tee took it in stride. She had the makings of a good babysitter and was getting plenty of practice with Corinne’s new nieces and nephews. But every now and then Corinne caught her watching the uncles with their babies. With their toddlers. A look of longing, or maybe wonder was a better word, would soften Tee’s face.

  Was she imagining what it would be like to have a dad? What her life would be like if Dave had lived?

  He’d have made sure she got out on the water.

  He’d have taken her fishing every week. He’d have enjoyed her tomboy aspects and cherished her feminine side.

  But he wasn’t here, and that loss left Corinne to fill the void somehow. She’d make sure things were different next year. But that didn’t fix the mistakes she’d already made this year.

  * * *

  Gabe woke at 3:37, befuddled. He stared at the clock, wondering if it was a.m. or p.m., then noted the cloudy but light afternoon.

  He jumped up, panicked, and stared at the empty crib.

  Jessie.

  His heart raced before reality dawned.

  Corinne had taken her next door.

  He breathed as fear and relief battled within. His pulse pounded. His breath slammed tight against his chest.

  His fingers shook. The ends tingled as if on fire.

  Shell shock grabbed him in a whole-body press and refused to let go.

  He couldn’t do this. The thought of something happening to this baby didn’t scare him. It drove him positively, absolutely insane. No way could he handle the day-to-day responsibility of a child again. He’d been granted that gift once and lost it of his own accord. He didn’t deserve a second chance, despite Adrianna’s words to the contrary.

  Make some coffee and get hold of yourself.

  Then think: life has thrust you into a new situation that pushes old buttons. What would you tell a friend? What advice would you have?

  He knew the answer to that.

  He’d tell them to get back on the horse that threw them and ride, but they weren’t talking theory here. The blessing of a child, a living, breathing human being, should never be taken lightly.

  His conscience stayed strangely quiet. Agreeing?

  Possibly.

  But maybe wishing he would move on, only he couldn’t. He shouldn’t. And if his head didn’t understand that, his heart did.

  He made a quick cup of co
ffee and took a sip before he should have. The pain on the roof of his mouth was nothing compared with the ache in his chest, but he’d dealt with both before. He’d do it again.

  He cleaned up in a hurry, then thought twice and shaved. The baby had seemed taken aback by his whiskers, and the last thing he wanted to do was make her cry.

  He jogged next door, raised his hand to knock and paused. Then his heart jump-started again, but for a very different reason.

  Corinne was curled against the nearest corner of the couch, feet propped on a pillow, with the baby snuggled against her chest.

  Utter contentment.

  The beauty of the moment calmed his turmoil but not his pulse.

  Corinne had been denied a lot in life. Watching her with the baby made him wish things could have been different for her.

  She leaned back slightly, pressed a kiss to Jessie’s soft head and glanced up.

  Their eyes met.

  His heart beat harder. Stronger. The breath he’d just gotten back seemed taken away, but not by fear this time. By something else, an emotion so tender and raw it seemed to swallow him whole.

  She waved him in, breaking the moment, and by the time he crossed the floor, he second-guessed himself. It would be foolish to be caught up in the romance of a moment when life held so many turns and twists he wasn’t free to take. He crouched down by her side and lifted a brow.

  “She likes being cuddled,” Corinne whispered, the baby’s eyes pinched closed in sleep.

  “I see that.” He whispered, too. “I think you’re both enjoying this.”

  “Immensely.” She had the baseball channel on, with the volume turned down but not off. “Callan, Brandon, Eric and Tee are in the family room getting ready for game seven.”

  He’d missed game six of the current World Series yesterday, and hadn’t even given it a thought.

  “Since my Yankees didn’t even make the playoffs, I can be indifferent to the outcome.”

  “No stake in the game, less emotion.”

  “Exactly. A means to avoid utter disappointment. But a woman must learn to guard her heart, right?”

  Her expression indicated she meant more than sports teams. He knew he shouldn’t follow that up, but he couldn’t help himself, another unusual move. “Except that if we guard against everything, do we block all of our chances at joy?”

  “Not with two kids,” she whispered, smiling. “They’re priority number one, and the years are flying by with them. I kind of hate that.”

  Her regret painted another picture for him.

  Corinne.

  A baby.

  A child to raise, together.

  The thought held an appealing mix of hope for the future.

  His palms grew itchy, and he backed off the image instantly. He couldn’t trust his brain or his emotional reactions to be normal about kids, and being sleep deprived was obviously not in his best interests.

  Until he could—if he ever could—he had no right to tempt fate. “Do you want me to take her?” Part of him wanted her to say no, while another part longed to protect.

  “Yes. The soup is all set, but the rolls need to go into the oven.”

  “Everything smells amazing.”

  “A cozy fire, homemade soup and a clean baby.” She handed him the baby and stood. “A recipe for pure happiness. The simple things in life are the best. And if having Jessie here means you need someone to cover for you at the festival, Gabe, that’s fine.” She spoke softly as she moved to the kitchen. “Between the troopers and Drew’s officers, we’ll be covered throughout.”

  “My mom’s coming up for the weekend.” He kept his voice quiet, too, as he settled himself into the broad recliner. “I called her last night. She filled me in on some family history and said she’d head this way and watch Jessie. She’s nice, Corinne. And she loves babies. She knew Adrianna was expecting, but everyone there thought that Jessie had been given up for adoption. My phone call was a pretty big surprise.”

  “I expect it was.”

  He leaned back, almost loving the feel of the baby on his chest, and scared about how easy it would be to fall into a trap he couldn’t afford, the trap of love. He’d been there before and had nothing to show for it, but somehow, holding Jessie in Corinne’s cozy room made it feel almost possible, and that might be scarier yet.

  * * *

  Gabe’s mother was coming to help, and that meant he’d be at the festival next weekend. She hadn’t realized how much she counted on that until she made the offer to let him shrug off the commitment. But it didn’t matter because he’d already taken care of things. She liked that about him. Not every sports coach dotted i’s and crossed t’s. A lot of them left the organizational skills to others.

  Not Gabe. He accepted help, but he liked being in charge. So did she. Maybe that’s why she wasn’t as irked when he’d agreed with the new festival changes against her wishes. He wasn’t on the committee to promote himself or a local business like some others. He was there because he truly liked to give back to the community. That meant a great to deal to all of the Gallagher clan, but especially to Corinne. She’d grown up in the midst of dysfunction, so she enjoyed doing whatever she could do to make the community a solid place for families. While that was noble enough, she’d stretched herself too thin, and time with Tee had suffered by her choices. But no more.

  She puttered about the kitchen, pretending to be busy, avoiding the inviting picture of Gabe snuggling that baby in her living room. Tonight she’d sit down and make a list of why she needed to downplay her attraction, especially with this new turn of events.

  She’d been raising kids on her own for a dozen years. She loved the gift of them, and she’d made a pledge to never put Tee and Callan into a heartbreaking situation. She wasn’t foolish enough to think romance developed in a vacuum when a whole family was involved. She knew better. And she’d made cops firmly off-limits years ago.

  But this...

  She peeked into the living room. Jessie was splayed out against the big guy’s chest, sound asleep and perfectly content.

  Old dreams resurfaced. Thoughts of the happily-ever-after that had been wrenched away came forth. This was exactly how she’d envisioned her life with Dave, and then suddenly he was gone.

  “Mom, is supper almost ready?” Callan’s question made for a perfect interruption.

  “Yes. Twenty minutes. Can you get out the plates and silverware?”

  “Can it wait till a commercial?”

  She raised an eyebrow. “Missing sixty seconds of the pregame won’t kill you.”

  “I’ll do it.” Tee came into the dining area separating the living room from the kitchen of her own accord. “You can watch the pregame, Cal.”

  He stared at her as if she’d just grown two heads for good reason. Tee might like her brother most of the time, but she championed equal distribution of chores. Volunteering to do double duty wasn’t exactly her norm, but Callan was smart enough to grab the offer and run. “Thanks.”

  Tee set the table carefully. She didn’t slide the plates somewhat close to a chair and pile the silverware into the middle like she usually did. Rounding the curve of the oval table, every fork and knife and spoon went into its proper place.

  She put matching glasses at each place, just above the spoons, and Corinne wasn’t sure if she should comment on the pretty table or call for a medical intervention. She leaned in close as Tee put fresh butter—not the half-used stick on the counter—at each end of the table. “This looks great, Tee. Thank you.”

  Tee folded napkins—real napkins, not half sheets of paper toweling, which was their norm—beneath each fork. “Everyone should know how to set a table, right?”

  Sure they should. And Corinne had been showing them the right way for years, but with the exception of Christmas and
Easter, this was the first time one of her kids actually did it. “Yes. They should.”

  The buzzer for the warmed bread sounded as the boys came up the four steps from the lower-level family room. Brandon whistled in appreciation when he saw the food and the perfect table. “Wow. This looks nice, Mrs. Gallagher.”

  “Tee did it,” Corinne replied before she looked up, but when she raised her gaze, she glimpsed her new reality.

  A flush of color brightened Tee’s cheeks.

  Her normally nonchalant, take-no-prisoners daughter blushed with pleasure over a simple housekeeping task because a boy commented on it. And not just any boy... Callan’s friend Brandon.

  “Yeah, and I didn’t have to do it,” Callan added. He slapped Tee lightly on the back like she was one of the guys. “She’s all right. Some of the time,” he added. “Hey, did you guys see Coach’s baby?”

  “Coach has a baby?” Brandon asked.

  “Shh. She’s sleeping,” Tee cautioned.

  “She was, but I think the smell of good food has lured her awake.” Gabe stood up and raised the baby to his broad shoulder as if he’d been doing it for years.

  “Is she yours, Coach?” Brandon’s brows shot up as if the image of his coach with a baby didn’t add up.

  “I’m babysitting her for a while.” Gabe handled the boys’ curiosity as if he fielded awkward questions on a regular basis. As a cop, he probably did. “And from the scrunched-up look on her face, I think she’s going to need a bottle.”

  Corinne had set one in a small pot of hot water earlier. She tested the temperature on her wrist and reached for the baby. “You come eat. I’ll feed her.”

  “No, I’ve got it.” His hand closed over the bottle. “I can eat when she’s done.”

  “So can I,” Corinne argued.

  “How about this?” Tee swiped the bottle from her mother’s hands and took a seat on the recliner. “I took the babysitting course the town offered last spring, and I want people to hire me for babysitting this year, so I can practice on Jessie. Okay?” She tipped her face up with such a sweet, sincere smile that Corinne had to pause.