Up in Smoke (Glock Grannies Cozy Mystery Book 1)

by Shannon VanBergen

  She handed me the phone and I took a picture. Then we had to redo it several times because Grandma wasn’t happy with first the angle and then the lighting. Finally, we had a picture she was happy with.

  The sign had barely stopped swaying after it had been flipped before Grandma got her first visitors to the store. Hattie and Irene stopped by with coffee and donuts. I was starting to really like them.

  The rest of the day was more of the same. Virginia came by in the afternoon and Greta came by shortly after. Before we closed for the day, Mitzie McCreedy and the grumpy old lady, Wanda Turnbough, came in with flowers in a pale green vase. Mitzie was all smiles, but Wanda still had the same sour look she had at the tea room.

  Just as Grandma was about to flip the sign to “closed,” Perry Landon opened the door.

  “Tell him we’re closing,” I whispered to Grandma Dean.

  “I can’t do that,” she whispered back. “That would be rude! He’ll just be in here a few minutes.”

  Grandma made light conversation with him and then told me she was running to the back to take care of a few things. I watched him like a hawk as he went through the box of odds and ends that Grandma had put out especially for him. He looked up at me a few times and smiled, but I kept up with my steely glare. I wanted him to know I was on to him.

  After a few minutes, he came up to the counter and sat down the items in his hand—a glass doorknob, a small matchbook, some leather buttons, and a handful of tacks that had a little pink flower on the head.

  “Those are some interesting items,” I said as I rang them up. “What are you going to do with them?”

  He suddenly seemed nervous and refused to make eye contact. “Just collecting things,” he said, staring at them.

  I gave him his total and he reached in his pocket, pulling out a bunch of balled up dollar bills. He sat three of them on the counter, scooped up his items, stuffed them in his pocket, and walked away.

  “Hey,” I called after him. “What about your change?”

  He acted like he didn’t hear me and made a beeline for the door.

  When Grandma emerged from the back a few minutes later, I told her what happened. “There’s something that isn’t right with that man,” I said to her after I had finished the story.

  Grandma Dean laughed it off as usual. “Oh, he’s harmless.”

  That was what I kept hearing, but it wasn’t what I believed.

  “What’s in the bag?” Grandma asked on our ride home.

  “Oh,” I said, reaching for it. “There were a few things from your store I wanted to take home.”

  Grandma raised an eyebrow. “Stealing from me on the first day?” she said jokingly.

  “No,” I said, suddenly remembering the basket in my room that I needed to return to Bev…and the plates I still needed to return to the coffee shop. “I just thought these would look cute in my room. You keep telling me I should personalize my room a little, and I thought these things would look nice in there.”

  I pulled out an old, metal lantern that was rusted on the edges. It was white and looked like it had been weathered by the sea. There was something about it that I loved.

  “That’s beautiful,” Grandma said, driving away from downtown. “That will look great in your room.”

  Next I pulled out a black lacquered box with a thin red dragon painted all along the bottom half. A sharp, metal ledge separated the top and bottom. Grandma made a face.

  “You don’t like this one?” I asked her.

  “It’s not really my style.” She shrugged.

  “I liked it because it’s big enough I could keep papers and mail in,” I said as I reached for the last thing in the bag. “This next one is my favorite,” I said to her. I pulled out a peach-colored bowl with a little blue bird perched on the edge. I held it in both hands like it was the most valuable thing in the world.

  “Now, that’s pretty,” Grandma said.

  I smiled as I looked at it. There was something about that little blue bird that stole my heart. It was so delicate and tiny, and yet the details in its little face gave it a personality.

  As I carefully returned my little treasures to the bag, I thought about Perry Landon. Was he really just collecting things? Or was he there today to scope out the place? A chill ran up my spine. I had to find a way to talk to him, but how?

  “I’m having one of my meetings in a little bit,” Grandma said when we walked through her front door. She sat her purse on the table and walked over to make some tea.

  I sighed. “Are you kicking me out or can I stay in my room if I promise not to eavesdrop?”

  Grandma stirred in some sugar. “I was thinking maybe you could join us today.”

  My mouth fell open in shock. “Really?”

  “Well,” she said, putting some crackers and cheese on a plate for her guests, “you already know what we’re up to, and who knows? Maybe some young blood will be good for us.” She laughed. “And a young body. There’ve been a few times we’ve had to scale a wall or two, and let me just say that it didn’t turn out very well.”

  I could imagine.

  I ran to the bathroom and when I was in there, the ladies started to arrive. As I washed my hands, I tried to prepare myself for what one of Grandma Dean’s meetings would be like. Would we really take off afterward, chasing a villain in the night? Would I get my own ski mask? Maybe a fake name?

  When I walked back in to the kitchen, I was met with a table full of dirty looks.

  “What’s she doing here?” Hattie asked.

  “I thought she could join us,” Grandma said, sitting a bowl of fruit salad on the table.

  “Are you nuts?” Irene shouted. “She can’t be in on one of our…card playing meetings!”

  “Calm down,” Grandma Dean warned. “She already knows what we’re up to. She found my ski mask.”

  Several of the ladies gasped.

  “She promises she won’t tell a soul what we’re up to, don’t you, Nikki?”

  I nodded. “I promise.”

  The ladies didn’t look convinced.

  “I say we make her take a blood oath,” Virginia said, narrowing her eyes at me.

  I looked at Grandma for help.

  “You’re not going to slice her open, Virginia. Remember what happened when you did that to Betty?”

  The group gasped and shook their heads.

  “That was terrible,” Greta said, her face as white as a sheet.

  “That wasn’t my fault,” Virginia said defensively. “She should’ve told me she was on blood thinners!”

  I looked around the room. I knew all of the ladies at this point and not one of them was named Betty. What happened to the poor old woman? Did she bleed to death? Decide she didn’t want to be a part of a group that made her nearly bleed out just to join? I’d have to ask Grandma Dean about it later.

  “Okay,” Hattie said, “I have a better idea. In order for Nikki to be a member of this group, she has to get her eyebrows done.”

  I laughed, thinking she was joking. I looked around the table, expecting everyone else to be laughing too, but they weren’t. Instead, they were nodding in agreement.

  “You have to be joking,” I finally said.

  “Dear…” Greta placed her hand over mine. “I didn’t want to say anything, but your eyebrows cast a shadow on your face and it makes your nose look terribly long. If you’d just cut those things back, your whole face would brighten up!” She smiled at me like she had somehow just given me a compliment instead of an insult.

  I looked up at Grandma Dean.

  “It’s true,” she said matter-of-factly.

  “I think I’d rather take my chances with Virginia and the blood oath,” I said under my breath.

  “Trust me,” Greta whispered to me. “You don’t want to do that.”

  “All right, fine! I’ll join your little group and I’ll get my eyebrows done. Are you happy now?”

  A chorus of cheers rang out and I sunk into my chair
. It had better be worth it.

  “Okay,” Grandma said, taking charge of the group. “We have a lot to discuss, so let’s get started. The first thing we need to figure out is what we’re going to do with the money from our last…apprehension.” She glanced at me and then at the others, clearly sending out a silent signal for them to keep quiet about something. They didn’t catch on. Instead, they started laughing. It started out as a low giggle that they tried to stifle by putting their hands over their mouths. Within minutes, it had turned into full blown, hysterical laughter.

  “What’s so funny?” I asked, already laughing even though I had no idea what was happening.

  “Nothing,” Grandma said sternly. “I can’t believe you ladies are so immature!”

  Another round of laughter rang out.

  “Oh come on,” Hattie laughed. “You have to admit, it’s funny.”

  “I don’t have to admit anything.” Grandma was clearly angry, but the ladies didn’t seem to care.

  “What happened?” I begged. “Someone tell me!”

  Grandma gave me a stern look.

  “Hey,” I replied, “if I’m going to get my eyebrows done to be in this group, then I deserve to know what’s going on.”

  “Fine,” Grandma said, crossing her arms. “But I’m not telling the story.”

  “I’ll tell it!” Irene burst from her chair. “It was a night just like tonight…”

  “It was four nights ago,” Grandma said, rolling her eyes.

  “Hush! I’m telling the story!” Irene leaned forward and became animated again. “We were out on the streets looking for a perp, but not just any perp, the scumbag Peeping Tom that had terrorized our precious town for nearly three weeks.”

  “As usual,” Greta butted in, “the police weren’t doing anything about it. We had to take matters into our own hands.”

  Irene cleared her throat to let Greta know she wasn’t done telling the story. “We were all hanging out by the pool when we got a tip that he struck again on Seashore Drive.”

  I looked over at Grandma Dean. “Was this the night we were all outside and you guys had to leave so quickly?”

  Grandma nodded, her arms still tightly folded across her chest.

  “Anyway,” Irene continued. “We parked a few blocks away and put on our ski masks. We were slinking through the neighborhood looking for him, when all of a sudden Virginia sees him looking in a window across the street.”

  We all looked at Virginia, who was sitting there proudly. “I have good eyesight, possibly the best in the group.”

  Grandma let out a “hmph” and Irene continued. “We all stood there frozen. We hadn’t actually expected to see him! We hadn’t even had a chance to come up with a plan yet! Before any of us could react, Geraldine takes off running toward the house!”

  The laughter started to pick up again.

  “She runs right up to the man, grabs him by the wonker, and leads him to the sidewalk!”

  The women broke out in laughter as I sat there in shock and looked at Grandma Dean. “You did what?”

  “I meant to grab him by the hand,” she said, her face bright red. “I didn’t realize his hand was…”

  Irene was bent over laughing and had to hold onto the table to steady herself. “Geraldine’s screaming, ‘Get the car! Get the car!’ and instead, we’re just standing there paralyzed by the sight!”

  “Why didn’t you just let go when you realized what it was?” I asked.

  “I wasn’t about to let him get away!” Grandma Dean said it like I had just suggested the most ridiculous thing ever. “Especially if he was standing outside people’s windows doing that.”

  “So what happened?” I asked the group. “Did someone get the car?”

  “Virginia finally did,” Irene said, still laughing.

  “So you just stood there on the sidewalk holding onto his…”

  “Wonker,” Irene yelled out.

  “You did that until Virginia came back with the car?”

  Grandma’s face was a deep red, nearly purple. I wasn’t sure if it was from embarrassment or anger. “Yes,” she finally said. “Though by the time Virginia pulled up, there wasn’t much to hold onto.”

  The ladies burst into laughter again and this time, Grandma Dean joined them. “It was horrible,” she admitted. “I think I washed my hands a hundred times that night.”

  “Did he just stand there the whole time?” I still couldn’t believe the story.

  “I think he was as shocked as the rest of us,” Greta said, shaking her head. “That is a night none of us will forget!”

  “Even when I finally succumb to dementia, that night will still be perfectly etched in my mind,” Hattie laughed. “No amount of mental deterioration will save me from that image!”

  “Back to the matter at hand…” Grandma tried to say, but the comment only elicited more laughs. “No pun intended,” she added. “We need to figure out what to do with our reward money.”

  “I think we should give it to the young mom in town that just had triplets. Can you imagine the diapers they’ll go through?” Irene tried to picture it. “I had three kids, but they were all spaced out. I can’t imagine what I would’ve done if I had them all at the same time!”

  “I like that idea,” Hattie agreed. “Her name is Bethany and she goes to my church. I could slip it in her purse with a little note next Sunday.”

  Everyone agreed and it looked like the meeting was going to be adjourned. I looked at Grandma Dean. “Are you going to talk about the possible connection between the fire and someone you turned in?” I whispered.

  Greta overheard. “I don’t think there is a connection. I think it was Perry.”

  Finally! Someone else in this town who didn’t think he was just misunderstood.

  Grandma Dean rolled her eyes. “Perry didn’t do it. I’m sure of it.”

  “Then who did?” I demanded. “You have to have some idea!”

  The room was quiet for the first time since the ladies arrived. They all looked at me like I was a toddler throwing a tantrum in a restaurant. “Well, who do you think is involved?” I asked Irene.

  She looked at me like she didn’t want to answer. “I really don’t know,” she finally said.

  I looked at Hattie. “What about you?” She shrugged.

  “Well, I agree with Greta,” Virginia said. “I think it was Perry.”

  So they were split down the middle if Grandma didn’t vote.

  “We’ve gone over it a thousand times,” Grandma said, pouring herself some more tea. “This is one case we haven’t been able to figure out…yet.”

  “Well,” Virginia said, standing up. “We’re not going to figure it out tonight. Maybe he’ll strike again and leave us some clues next time.”

  The rest of the ladies stood up and grabbed their purses before walking to the door. They turned and looked at me as I sat there, picking through the fruit salad.

  “What?” I asked them, feeling suddenly self-conscious.

  “Are you coming or what?” Virginia asked.

  I sat there confused for a moment. “Where are we going?”

  Grandma Dean walked over to me and pulled me from the chair. “You’re getting your eyebrows done, remember?”

  “Now?” I asked in surprise.

  “Now,” Virginia answered.

  I stood there for a minute trying to figure out what I had gotten myself into. But then I thought back to the story of Grandma catching the “perp” and I laughed. Whatever pain lay ahead with my eyebrows was worth being able to hear that story.

  14

  “Are you almost ready?” Grandma’s voice rang out from the kitchen while I stood in front of the bathroom mirror admiring my now delicate eyebrows. I had been against getting my brows done, but I had to admit, Grandma and her group were right. It really did brighten my face.

  “Almost,” I shouted through the bathroom door.

  “I think I’ll just drop you off and you can open the st
ore,” Grandma said as we were heading out the door that morning. “I’ll run down to the coffee shop and get us some coffee.”

  “And cinnamon rolls?” I asked hopefully.

  Grandma sighed. “You and your carbs! We need to break you of that.”

  I rolled my eyes.

  Grandma Dean stopped and looked me over. “You’re really coming together,” she said proudly, like I was a project she was working on…which I probably was. “Now if I can just get you to tame that hair and wear some lip gloss.”

  “Ha!” I laughed. “You have a better chance of that happening than me giving up carbs!”

  A few minutes later, she had dropped me off in front of her shop. It was eight in the morning and there was an unusual chill in the air. I fumbled with the keys for a minute and finally made my way in.

  The shop was pitch black, so I reached for the light switch and turned on the lights. I also pulled back the newly hung curtains—teal with white polka dots—to let in the sunlight. I had thought it was unusual to hang curtains in a shop window, but Grandma Dean was right. It did give the place a cozy, at home feel.

  I spun around, ready to put my bag on the counter and get the shop ready to open, when something made my heart stop. A man’s shoe lay in the middle of the floor a few feet from the counter. I didn’t remember that being there yesterday.

  I walked over and picked it up, and then I saw the most disturbing thing I had ever seen in my life. The owner of the shoe was a few feet away, dead on the ground with a hole in his head. I let out a scream and fumbled for my phone to call 911. “A man is dead!” I screamed into the phone when the dispatcher answered. “It’s Perry Landon! Perry Landon is dead!”

  When Grandma got to her store, her face was pale and she was shaking nearly as bad as I was. I was standing outside talking to Detective Owen. He had already called Grandma Dean and told her what happened so she wouldn’t be shocked when she pulled up and saw that her store was surrounded by police cars.

  “What happened to him?” she asked Owen, fighting back tears.

  “Nikki found him,” he said solemnly. “He was already dead.”