My Way Series: Books 1-3

by H. J. Bellus

  “I want on top.”

  Cree was never one to argue. I was on top and riding him. A nagging constant orgasm hit me with every thrust. I was so close, but not quite there. I knew I was screaming loud and shouldn’t be. Cree finally covered my mouth with his hand, and I bit down on his fingers trying to silence my noise.

  “Help me, baby, I need to let go. Touch me, Cree.”

  Cree slipped his hand down between us and helped me let go. I started my release right when Cree let out a loud grunt and said,

  “Fuck me, Milly, Fuck me harder; now!”

  I felt the familiar sensation of Cree releasing into me. I went boneless as I lay across him, experiencing the best orgasm fucking ever—and I mean ever! Like my story could end now and I would be happy as a piglet in mud!

  “Happy Birthday, Captain!”

  We went approximately three more rounds before we both surrendered to exhaustion.

  “Cree, talk to me. I want to know more about you.”

  “What do you want to know?”

  “Tell me about her. Annie’s mother, tell me.”

  I could tell that Cree wasn’t comfortable talking about her. He did it for me, and that’s why I loved him with my whole freaking heart.

  “I was on a full ride football scholarship at Colorado State. I was recruited right out of high school and was projected to be a first round draft pick in the pros. Kyla was my high school sweetheart and we went off to college together. We were the All-American couple living up the college dream together. We were inseparable. I found out that she was cheating on me with one of my teammates, and then, three months later, she was pregnant. I loved her and would do anything for her. I never questioned her pregnancy. Instead I proposed, and was ready to do anything for her happiness. She lived up the pregnancy, indulging in the extra food, and being pampered by all those around her. She loved being pregnant. But that all changed when she gave birth to my beautiful little girl on May 24th at 6:02 a.m. That was the day I walked away from football and my dreams, but I found so much more in the little blue eyes of my baby girl. She was immediately jealous of my love for Annie. She wouldn’t hold or nurse Annie in the hospital. She even refused to name her. She hung around for a couple of months, before she finally left us behind. She left me a note saying that she hated the way I looked at Annie and that she couldn’t stand to be second in my life. She wrote on a piece of paper that she hated Annie for taking me away from her. She fucking wrote that! From that day on, she became dead to me. I couldn’t understand how someone could hate their own flesh and blood that way. I never saw Kyla again until Annie was three.”

  “I’m sorry, baby. I don’t understand how a human being can do that, either. You have no idea how lucky Annie is to have you. Lots of unwanted babies and kids don’t even have a parent that wants them. You’re something else, Captain!”

  “When Annie was three, Kyla came back to town. She told me that Annie wasn’t mine. That she had cheated on me with three other guys, and that there was no way Annie could be mine. I told her I didn’t care and to go fuck herself. Annie was mine, period. Kyla served me with papers for full custody of Annie, and she slapped a DNA test on me. I had to take my sweet baby in to get her mouth swabbed along with mine. That day in the doctor’s office, I promised myself that I would run away to Mexico with her before I gave her away. She was mine no matter what the test or judge said. I also decided that day that I couldn’t face Kyla in court. I assigned Willow to represent me along with my lawyer, because I didn’t care if Annie was mine biologically or not. She was always mine from the minute I held her when she entered the world. She was mine.”

  “Cree, you are so amazing. Annie is so lucky to have been born into your arms.”

  “I stayed on the farm that day with Annie. We waited for Willow’s call. I remember that day we played her favorite game of dress up, and I silently prayed that she wouldn’t be taken from me. Willow called me at 3:42 and told me that the DNA test proved that Annie was mine, and that the judge ruled in my favor. Kyla lost all of her parental rights that day.”

  A dead silence fell between us as I held Cree close to me. I felt his body shake with fear from the memory of that awful time in his life. I felt bad for asking about Annie’s mother, but I knew the subject needed to be discussed. I had no idea just how awful the story was. The man had been shattered by Kyla, and then his heart was almost ripped out when she tried to take Annie from him.

  “Milly, I would have run with her to a foreign country even if she wasn’t mine. I would have never given her back, no matter the cost.”

  “I know, baby.”

  “I moved back to the farm. My mom loved being with Annie. We were all so happy. Willow was off to college. Annie and I occupied the guest room. Dad loved having me on the farm. It was always his dream to have his boy take over the farm one day. He was worried football would ruin that one very important American dream of his. We lived with my parents for eight months and nine days before they were killed in a car accident.”

  “Oh, Cree.”

  “So you see, my life has been entirely mapped out for me. My desires and choices haven’t been factors in my future, until I met you. You’re the only thing in my life that I have the power to take control of. You’re the first choice I’ve had in a very long time. I was so scared to reach out to you because of my past. I love you, Milly, and I know Annie loves you, too.”

  “I love you, Cree, and I belong with you and Annie. I’m glad you found me.”

  “I have to tell you that this has been my best birthday ever.”

  “Yeah? And we haven’t gone to the game yet.”

  “I love you, Dolly!”

  “I love you, Captain. January 20th is now my favorite day because of you!”

  Chapter 18

  Bleeding Toes

  Cree was lying on the couch shirtless watching football. He had one hand tucked inside his cotton pajama bottoms. He truly had no idea how easily he turned me on. We had just tucked Annie into bed with a story and lots of kisses. I settled on the end of the couch around Cree’s legs to clip and paint my toenails.

  “Why do you do that?” he asked.

  “What?”

  “Why do you always take a deep breath and shut your eyes before you touch a toe?”

  “Am I being that obvious?” I asked, half kidding. I didn’t want to answer his question, and tried to brush him off by slapping the inside of his thigh.

  “Milly, look at me,” demanded Cree.

  I hung my head down and set the polish on the table. I couldn’t look up at him. I wanted the darkness to set in, so I wouldn’t have to see or feel anything.

  I felt his body shift from the couch down to the floor. He parted my legs and knelt before me. He scooted my body up to the edge of the couch so that he was holding me.

  “Tell me, please.”

  “Cree, I can’t touch my toes without feeling pain. My momma hurt me,” was all I could get out.

  Cree laid his head against my chest and gripped me tighter. “Tell me, Milly.”

  I wrapped my arms around him and began to tell the story of my bleeding toes.

  “My momma always hated me. She despised me for ruining her life. When I was little I would have done anything for her love. One time when she clipped my toenails she cut me. Every toe she clipped, she clipped skin with it. She was pissed because my dad had been gone on a weekend binger, and she couldn’t go because Poppy was out on the road. So she had to stay home with me. I gave her a picture of just the two of us playing that I drew, and she flew off the handle. She left me bleeding from all ten toes. This was always my punishment when Dad would leave her to go party.”

  Cree was now holding my face while I talked with my eyes closed. I couldn’t open my eyes to look at him, I couldn’t face the pain.

  “Every time I look at my toes, I see the blood dripping from each one. I see all my faults, insecurities, and the brutal reminder of me not being wanted by my own momma and dad.”
>
  “Open your eyes, dammit,” Cree whispered against my lips. I opened my eyes to see the beautiful man in front of me holding me with all his being.

  “Do you really think that of yourself?” he asked.

  I nodded my head up and down to answer him, because I couldn’t bear to answer him with words.

  He sat back on his heels and grabbed both of my feet.

  “Do you want to know what I see when I look at these toes? I see the perfection that god created just for me. I see a creative and talented woman with the biggest heart that has ever walked this Earth. I see the woman that I’m madly in love with. I see my Dolly who brightens every single one of my mornings with coffee,” he said in between kissing my toes.

  I felt tears prick the back of my eyes. He started working his way up my legs, kissing and caressing his way.

  “Your parents were ignorant fools. Please don’t let them hold any power over you. I have never been in love with a body and soul like yours. I have an idea! Let’s make a new memory, Dolly.”

  Cree grabbed the toenail clippers and started to clip each toenail. It took everything in me not to scream. Nobody had touched my toes since my momma. I started crying uncontrollably with each clip, and my body was trembling with fear. I was scared shitless that he was going to cut me and I froze with sheer terror. I couldn’t see blood and Cree mixed.

  “All done, baby! What color are we doing tonight? Can I suggest the green polish?” he asked with a crooked smile. I still couldn’t get a word out. I just kept sobbing and trembling. I needed to find the courage inside to let go and erase the vision of blood streaming from my toes. Cree was here trying to help me let go.

  He didn’t make me talk to him, he just let me cry. He continued painting each freshly-clipped toenail. He blew on each toenail with care to dry the polish. My sobs had subsided for the moment and only silent tears ran down my cheeks.

  “Now, baby, every time you look at your toes, I want you to remember what is about to happen. I’m in love with you, Milly, never forget that.”

  Settled comfortably between my legs on his knees, Cree lifted my hips and pulled down my shorts and panties. He slowly tugged them down my legs and made a big show of throwing them over his shoulder. He then kissed his way from my big toe to my core. My tears had dried up and somehow Cree had managed to put a huge smile on my face.

  He placed tender kisses all around my magic button. He then slid one finger into my wet heat, making me moan. His tongue went to work licking my tender bud and then he slipped two fingers into me, working their way in and out. I ran my hands through his thick wet hair. I started bucking against his face. I was about to spiral out of control, when I grabbed his head to stop him.

  “I need this with you inside of me. I need the one person who gives me the courage to forget with me for this,” I told him.

  Cree stood up and slipped off his pajama pants and sat next to me on the couch.

  “You are so beautiful. Come here.”

  Cree grabbed my hand and sat me on his lap, facing away from him.

  “I love to see your gorgeous hair bounce off your shoulders as you ride me.”

  I adjusted myself so that I could ease down on Cree. I instantly froze and couldn’t move at the feeling of him inside me.

  “It’s okay, baby. I got you,” he whispered into my back as he gripped the sides of my hips, moving me up and down his shaft. The combination of Cree’s love and his words of encouragement broke me free of my fear.

  We had become good at keeping quiet while making love when Annie was sleeping. So instead of our normal growls and moans, we held onto each other tightly, pulling and gripping at each other’s flesh to express our feelings of pleasure.

  My orgasm hit me hard, causing me to start crying as I fell into oblivion. I couldn’t move anymore; I was physically and emotionally exhausted from the new memory created with Cree. I felt Cree shudder underneath me, and without saying a word, he pulled me down onto the couch with him and covered us up with a blanket. I lay there nestled in the arms of the man that now completely owned every inch of my body, heart, and soul. I dozed off to sleep while Cree finished watching the football game.

  Chapter 19

  Ready to Beat Ass

  March

  It was my night to cook dinner. The weather was warming up and spring fever was hitting. I decided to grill burgers tonight and make potato salad. Yep, I could make it all by myself these days. Cree went into town to pick up Annie from dance.

  I sat back in my lounger with Olive on my lap and looked out across the backyard at the barren fields that had been plowed and planted. The corn seeds were bedded down in the dirt, waiting for water to grow. They were thirsty and needed one thing to quench their very unique thirst. I felt like that seed buried in the earth. I had been planted in the right spot and watered with love and have grown into a strong, happy woman. I, too, have a very unique thirst, and it was only quenched with two people.

  I noticed the cloud dust rolling up the lane and knew it was the two loves of my life coming up the road. I watched as Cree climbed out of the truck and I waited for my Annie Bug to bounce out and run over to me. My favorite part of the day had become when Annie jumped into my arms and shared her sunshine with me. I knew she wasn’t my daughter, but I loved her just like she was. I couldn’t imagine a day without her in my life. Cree walked around the truck holding Annie. I met him halfway.

  “Bad day, Milly. She’s going to go up to her room until dinner.”

  “Okay. Hey, Annie Bug…I love you lots and lots. Olive and I need you to help set the table when you’re ready. Okay?”

  I stretched up on my tippy toes and gave her a kiss.

  “I mean it, Annie Bug. I love you!”

  I went and checked the burgers, and impatiently waited for Cree to come back down. I picked up Olive and started petting her to tame my nerves. What in the hell could have happened? I was ready to go beat somebody’s ass for messing with my girl. I felt a familiar pair of strong arms wrap around my waist as I stood and held Olive. I laid my head back on Cree’s shoulder.

  “What the heck happened? I’m ready to beat some ass!”

  “Calm down, mother bear! She has a class field trip coming up to the local fish hatchery. The teacher asked about parent volunteers. I guess she raised her hand and told Miss Fallon that her mom and dad would be coming on the field trip, and a boy named PJ told her in front of the whole class that she didn’t have a mom. Then at recess PJ told her she didn’t have a mom because she was too ugly, and that’s why her mom left her.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me? Kids talk to each other like that at that age? Did you call his parents? Are you going to beat his ass?”

  “Jesus! Milly, he’s in kindergarten.”

  “I don’t care! Go beat his ass up now!”

  “Okay, honey! I know you love Annie as much as I do, but you can’t go kicking the ass of children. All we can do is show Annie how much we love her, and be here for her. I hurt every day knowing that her mother left her. I try to fill that void in her. That’s why the magic sprinkles were invented.”

  “So can’t I beat this kid’s ass? Because I will!”

  “No, you’re not beating anyone’s ass. Just cook dinner, and I’ll bust out the sprinkles.”

  “You better make that damn dance of yours good tonight, or I’ll beat your ass!”

  “I love you, Milly!”

  “Love you, too! Go practice to some Enrique or something.”

  I finished cooking dinner and set the table by myself. The rest of the gang showed up for dinner shortly. I told Cree to invite Greyson because I knew we would have a lot of food. I got pretty damn excited that I finally knew how to cook potato salad and doubled the recipe.

  We all had our plates made and were happily chatting about the day’s events, but in the back of my mind, I only thought of my hurt little Annie upstairs. Cree finally appeared on the back patio, holding Annie in his arms. I extended my arms from the ch
air I was sitting in. He placed her in my arms and cuddled her up just like she was my newborn baby. I kissed her forehead and whispered in her ear, telling her she was beautiful.

  I knew Annie was a fan of eating off of other’s plates, so I pointed my finger at mine, letting her know she could eat off of it. She went for a bite of potato salad when we heard Cree yell from the doorway.

  “Stop! You can’t take a bite of that, Annie. You need sprinkles—and not any sprinkles, but magic sprinkles.”

  On cue, Greyson blared “Sexy and You Know It” from his phone and Cree went to shaking his hips, and splattering sprinkles on our potato salad. He didn’t stop at the potato salad, he showered all of us in sprinkles. He was armed with two bottles and started dropping it like it was hot to the music. He sprinkled the shit out of us!

  He jumped on the table for his finale and emptied the two bottles. We were all laughing so hard we couldn’t breathe. This was definitely a PMP moment for the history books. Annie was giggling from her dad’s performance. I leaned down to whisper in her ear.

  “I’m going on that field trip with you as your mom, and I plan on paying a 5th grader to beat PJ’s ass!”

  Annie looked up at me with a huge grin and hugged me. Cree sat by us and filled his plate with food. The little shit was the only one without crunchy confetti all over in his food. He was a smart little pirate!

  “Daddy, thank you for the sprinkles. I wove you. And Milly said she was gonna pay a kid to beat PJ’s ass.”

  Oh, shit! She didn’t just say that to her dad. I just looked at Cree and gave him a hopeful smile. He shook his head and laughed. I leaned over and whispered in his ear,

  “Maybe a sprinkle dance for you later, Captain?”

  ***

  “Milly, listen! You are not paying or engaging in any way of any ass-kicking today. Do you hear me?”