My Way Series: Books 1-3

by H. J. Bellus

He drops his head in a sorrowful defeat. This really hurt him to expose the truth to Milly. He hates his mom for leaving Milly and never going back to get her. He lived the past and all the stories his mom told him. I grab for his chin and tilt it up, so he’s looking into my eyes. His eyes are now filling with tears and ready to overflow.

  “Get out,” Milly whispers, not looking Miles in the eyes.

  Cree stands up and takes over the situation. He goes to grab for my arm to drag me onto his side in some act of valiant bravery and standing his ground for his wife. I know that her past is ugly, but Miles lived far worse than Milly. No one saved him. He saved himself by living off of crumbs, fighting, and taking care of his worst enemy, his mom. Fuck Cree and fuck his chauvinistic asshole idea of protecting Milly. She has had protection on her side her whole life. It was now time to offer protection to Miles. I instantly whip my arm from Cree’s grasp.

  “Get the fuck out,” Cree roars again.

  “Willow, let’s go. You don’t need this trash in your life one minute longer,” Milly whispers.

  My jaw instantly drops to the floor, tears leak out of my eyes at the hurtful words towards my Miles.

  “He’s mine. He will always be mine. He deserves me,” I whisper.

  My eyes are boring holes into my brother’s. I won’t stand down to him this time. I feel Miles begin to move, and I hear the chair screech that he was sitting in. Without thinking, I grab his hand, and he tries to pull away. This is the moment my heart truly breaks.

  Miles is pulling away, retreating, going back to his hell. My head reacts and grabs both of his arms, and I start to scream, “No! No! No! I fucking love Miles. I will always love him. He has lived through hell. He wasn’t saved, Milly. He had no one but his mother—your mother—who treated him like trash. Who let boyfriends burn him and abuse him. Who sold his body for drug money. Do you want me to keep going, you spoiled, fucking bitch? Uh, does that make you feel better to know? He came here to find you and tell you that his mother is dying, but he accidentally fell in love with Cree’s little failure of a sister. How dare you fucking tell him to leave?”

  Miles is holding me back, pinning my arms to my side and whispering the word “stop” over and over in my ear. I violently shake my head back and forth, signaling no, I will not stop. I will not stop fighting for the man I love. Never.

  Cree stands up and flings his chair across The Shop, shattering a glass countertop.

  I will not stand down. I will not stand down. I will not stand down, I repeat over and over in my head.

  “Willow, I think you better take back those words before you never have the chance to take them back,” Cree yells.

  “Or what, Cree? You gonna spank me? You going to disown me for falling in love with a man that actually has character, decency, and loves me back? What are you going to fucking do?”

  “Yeah, you have a choice. Him or us,” Cree says as he places both fists down on the table and leans in, nose to nose with me, “And let me define us for you, little sister. You choose this bastard and you lose me, Milly, Annie, and Mac. Forever. I can’t speak for Tripp, but I’m pretty sure they’ll side with us. Ball is in your court, little sis.”

  Cree pushes off the table so hard that it flies into my thighs. A pinching pain shoots up my legs, but it’s muted by the adrenaline running through my blood. Miles instantly grabs the table and slings it to the side and steps up to Cree.

  “Really? You gonna fucking throw a table at your sister? You’re a real fucking man,” Miles seethes into Cree’s face.

  Toe to toe. Cree and Miles. I step up to Milly. Toe to toe. Milly and me. I stare deep into her eyes, silently begging for her to give Miles a chance. I need my family and I need Miles. Did Cree really threaten to take away my babies? I reach for Milly’s hand and grab it, squeezing it with all my strength and will for her approval. Milly silently shakes her head no, moving side to side, denying Miles any chance. Denying me a future with him and my family.

  I step back from her, and I hear that fucking ding shrill through the shop, but this time my body and mind doesn’t give a fuck who’s stepping in. I barely hear Lacey’s voice in the background as my whole history flashes before my eyes. Momma’s house, Daddy’s rocking chair on the porch, slumber parties with Annie, the sandbox with Mac, working the farm with Cree, my childhood home, my princess dress still hanging in Momma’s closet, Daddy’s cigar box. Just like a fast forward commercial, my life disappears, vanishes, evaporates. Poof! All hell breaks loose.

  In slow motion, I can see Cree’s fist flying into the air, landing a blow to Miles’ face. Miles is a fighter and reacts the only way he knows how. I fall to the floor, scrambling to catalogue every last memory of my childhood, of my family, of the lingering scent of my momma in Cree’s house and of my life. Tripp rushes in and pulls Miles off Cree. Cree can barely stand after the trauma of the blows he receives from Miles.

  “What in the fuck is going on here?” Tripp demands to know.

  Nobody says a word. Lacey is instantly by Milly’s side, wrapping her up and whispering to her. Milly is unable to talk; she only shakes. Tripp throws Miles down and goes to stand by his brother. There it is. Crystal clear. My family. No room for me.

  I stand and grab Miles’ hand. My family.

  “One more fucking time people, what the fuck is going on?” Tripp roars.

  “I was just disowned. Forced to choose between Miles and my family. And it’s so fucking clear how this fairy tale ends,” I say, as I point to the four of them standing united.

  “Whoa, Willow…” Tripp starts as he comes closer to me.

  I start to shake my head and hold my hand up. “No, Tripp. Miles is Milly’s brother. Cree forced me to decide.” I turn. “Let’s go, baby,” I whisper to Miles.

  “Willow, don’t leave. We didn’t know what was going on when we walked in,” Tripp pleads as he looks between everyone in the room.

  “It’s over. Write me a check, Cree, and let me see Annie before I leave.”

  “I’ll write a check, but you’ll never see Annie again if you leave with him.”

  “If I leave? There is no if. Let me see her to just say goodbye.”

  Milly steps up in front of Cree. “You will never see my kids again, talk to them, or touch them if you choose him.”

  Tripp starts to shake his head and throws his hands up in the air. “Words cut and leave scars. You guys need to stop.”

  “Write the check then. Daddy left half of the farm to me and you can’t take that, and I want Momma’s wedding dress.”

  With one last ding, I leave behind my brothers, Annie, Rose, and Mac.

  ***

  “You want to shower, baby?”

  “Nah, I don’t have the energy. A bath?”

  Miles makes his way over to me after setting our bags down.

  “Anything for you, baby,” he whispers down into my hair.

  “I know I’m stinky, but can you just hold me for a while?”

  Miles starts to sniff me. Slow at first, then picking up his pace, tickling my neck as he places his nose in my crook and rapid fire sniffs. Uncontrollable giggles start to escape from me as Miles rolls us onto the bed. Lying face to face on our sides, I finally cry.

  “Crazy girl, don’t cry. Do you want me to take you back?”

  I can only manage to shake my head no through my wracking sobs and tears.

  “I will never hold this against you if you have to go back. I love you and want you to be where you need to be. I mean, I don’t want to let you go, but…”

  “It’s just Annie. She’ll think I left her like her real mom. Why did they take her away from me?”

  “This was my biggest fear, babe. That they wouldn’t be able to see beyond their anger. I’m so sorry. I fucked this all up. I should have told them when I first came to town.”

  “No, you’re wrong about that. You wouldn’t have saved me, wooed me, and held my hand these past months. I never would have experienced my first real love. I wouldn�
��t change a thing because I have you. It just hurts. Hurts a lot. But the picture was made perfectly clear when Lacey went instantly to Milly. I need my own life. I just don’t fit there anymore. I just want Annie to know—”

  Miles cuts in. “She knows. Anyone that has been loved by you knows. Your love is so powerful it is truly unforgettable. They can take you out of Annie’s life, but they’ll never take your love from her.”

  “Thank you,” I whisper into his lips.

  “I’ll be right back. I’m gonna run to the store, and then start that bath for you.”

  Miles undresses me as if I was his own toddler, but in true Miles fashion, he tosses my clothes over his shoulder. And this makes me giggle.

  “What? Are you gonna bitch that I’m not folding them for you?”

  “No. I love how you never change for anything or anyone. That’s all. Carry on.”

  Miles slides my panties down my legs, trailing kisses along the way. He approves of my gesture of lifting my hips to help him.

  “I’ll be back in a bit, Crazy,” Miles whispers as he gently kisses my lips while his body covers my naked one.

  I take advantage of his position and wrap my legs around his waist, pulling him closer. Miles lifts his head and gives me the famous crooked eyebrow. I grab both sides of his face and whisper, “Just don’t break my heart because you are my everything now.”

  “I promise.” Miles kisses my lips tenderly. “To never.” Kiss. “Break your heart.” Kiss. “Or fold my clothes.” Kiss. “Or stop loving you.” Kiss. “I also promise to thank God every day for finally giving me my greatest fortune of all.” Kiss. “My crazy little girl.” Kiss. “I also promise to hold your hand everyday forever.”

  “You’re such a charmer,” I say.

  “I’m all about the fairy tale, baby.” Kiss. “And the hot sex, your cookies, and the blow jobs, which we need to schedule more often.”

  Laughter finally escapes from both of us and we find each other again in that moment. Fearless, stupidly in love, and courageous.

  Miles props himself up on his elbows and whispers, “Be right back.”

  “You better hurry, baby. By the size of that bulge in your jeans, your chances of blindness are at an all-time high,” I say as I point to his crotch.

  Miles grabs his crotch and shoots me the crooked eyebrow, and if even possible, I fall deeper and more madly in love with him. That crotch, hand, and look started everything.

  ***

  20 Minutes Later

  I make my way to the bathroom to start my water, because knowing Miles, I’m sure he got distracted by some new brand of cereal and is now contemplating whether it’s worth the risk of trying it over his beloved Cap’n Crunch. At this rate, he’ll be back by midnight. I turn on the water and let it run. My reflection catches my attention in the mirror and haunts me. This time I don’t see a beloved daughter, an average sister, or a broken lover, but I see a clean slate. A clean slate ready to be painted in her own beautiful colors. Her own beautiful colors entwined with her own dreams and hopes. Yes, I’m finally ready to be my own masterpiece of beauty.

  The hotel’s hot water is something fierce. I love the hottest water you can stand. Remembering, Miles screaming for his life last time he tried taking a bath with me in California makes me giggle. As I dip into the hot water, I let it pierce at the pain of my loss, and I decide to let it slowly heal me at the same time. I also allow my eyelids to take a rest.

  “Crazy. Where are you,” swirls around in my sleep-dazed brain. Then a more panicked “Willow” followed by a “Where in the fuck are you?” With the last plea, my brain registers and I shoot up out of the tub, causing water to slosh over the sides.

  “Miles,” I scream in a panicked voice, “I’m in the tub.”

  “Jesus Christ, babe, you scared the shit out of me.”

  Sinking back into the steaming water, I reply with, “Did you think someone kidnapped me?”

  “Real funny. I thought…I thought…never mind what I thought.”

  Then it hit me. He thought I’d left him. He thought I ran back home and abandoned him. How am I ever going to convince him that he’s the best mistake I ever made?

  “I’m never leaving you. It might have been a mistake, you know, us falling in love, but you are screwed, buddy, because you’re mine now and you’re my mistake. The best one I have ever made.”

  Silence.

  “Now get naked and come entertain me, boy.”

  “On it, baby cakes. Let me get us our snacks first.”

  Moments later a very naked Miles walks into the bathroom carrying a plastic tray containing two red Solo cups, a box of Cap’n Crunch, Skittles, and beef jerky. Dear lord, this man is a keeper.

  “You outdid yourself, baby. I thought I was only getting Cap’n Crunch.”

  Miles sits the tray on the edge of the tub and slides down behind me. He grunts softly as he positions himself. His hand finds my waist and pulls me back to him and then buries his face in the crook of my neck and continues to rustle around in the water, finding his perfect comfy spot.

  “You know, you remind me of a cat when you do this.”

  “I just need to hold you right now, Willow.”

  “You got me,” I say as I reach for the plastic cup and begin to suck it dry.

  With the first taste of the red liquid, immediate high school memories come flooding back. Midnight snow tubing, snowmobiling, and Boone’s overtake me. I start to giggle at the memories, and the fact that the love of my life bought me Boone’s.

  “Don’t even start with me, Willow. There were too many choices. I just went with the ringer. You can never go wrong with Boone’s.”

  His lips start to nibble at my neck and then he starts his licking.

  “Oh baby, I was just gonna say all we need is “The Power of Love” playing for background music, and this would be every teenage girl’s dream.” I giggle as I slam the rest of the drink.

  Miles slips his hand between my legs. “You’re gonna think you’re dreaming by the time I’m done with you.”

  Living out this dream, I throw my red plastic cup over my shoulder and reach for the other one.

  “Slow down, turbo. I know you’re excited that your man splurged on ya, but gear it down, I’ll need you conscious for what I want to do to you later,” he says, and hands me some jerky.

  “Not tonight. Don’t make me eat,” I whisper.

  With no words, Miles picks me up and spins me around to face him. When he sits me down, he instantly fills me.

  “Ahhhhh,” escapes my lips without thinking.

  The sensation of his cock filling me so completely sends a thrill straight through me. He will always have this ability of filling me completely and effortlessly.

  Miles palms both of my ass cheeks with his large hands pushing me further down onto him. This sensation causes me to throw my head back and moan.

  “Miles, I’m going to fuck you.”

  “You have to eat first.”

  “No,” I say as I try to move my hips.

  “Yes,” he growls as he grips my ass tighter and closer to him.

  A frustrated moan escapes me and I throw back some more Boone’s. The liquor makes me feel bolder than usual and definitely fuels my need for Miles. He reaches for the red cup in my hands, and like a spoiled child, I protest. My eyes watch him take the cup and lick the rim of it. Since he’s only holding me down with one hand, I manage to grind up and down on him. The quick little movement pushes me so close to the edge that I instantly finish myself off with my hand.

  “Holy shit,” Miles murmurs.

  And that’s when I feel the cool liquid running over my breasts and in the next instant I feel Miles on me, lapping up the liquid. This time his hands grab both of my ass cheeks, guiding me up and down him. He catches one nipple in his teeth and I find my full release, screaming with pleasure.

  I slump down on Miles, still fully seated on him, and murmur into his chest, “Thank you for not making me eat.
”

  Miles starts to chuckle.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “I guarantee five other hotel customers are calling the front desk reporting a crime scene in room 112 from all your screaming.”

  “It felt good, baby, and you’re still hard.”

  Miles throws back his head to rest on the back of the tub and closes his eyes. With his hands still on my hips, he starts to thrust up into me, groaning with each push. Watching his face covered in sheer pleasure is the hottest thing ever as I feel him move in and out of me. His eyes clench shut and his teeth bite down on his lower lip, making me start to climb that steep hill again. Motherfucker, he’s going to make me go again.

  Miles opens one eye and catches me staring at him, holding back my pending orgasm.

  “Let go, Wils, and let’s start our new life together tonight.”

  Chapter 16

  The End

  Willow

  About a year later…on the plane to Denver, Colorado

  Miles received a call earlier today from Tripp. It was a sunny warm spring morning, so I had the windows open. I loved being able to listen to Miles and Ridley talk as they worked together on their newest project. This morning it was Ridley’s new swing set. The moment I heard Miles’ voice, I knew something was seriously wrong.

  It was Annie. The time had finally come to go back to Colorado. Miles booked us the next flight to Denver, and before I knew it I was ushered onto the plane with each of my boys holding my hands.

  I haven’t seen or spoken to anyone in my immediate family in a little over a year with the exception of Tripp and Rose. He never gave up on me or our relationship. We have weekly scheduled Skype calls where he keeps me updated on every single one of Rose’s milestones.

  Seated on the airplane with Ridley sandwiched between us, I have nothing but time to reflect on the past year. We returned to southern California and took care of Sarah for the remainder of her days. We spent several nights with Wynnie when Sarah was too unbearable. It took her approximately forty-two days to die. Miles fought four more fights to get enough money to give his mom a proper burial. He refused to accept any of my money. And just like the true gentlemen Wynnie helped shape, Miles arranged a beautiful service. The memory of him bearing the burden of his mother’s casket on his shoulder was very symbolic of his whole life. Lance, Tommy, and Luke were his fellow pall bearers, and had to pick up Miles from the ground once he laid his mother to rest. He was unable to walk away from her casket on his own two feet. The men circled around him and brought him to Wynnie and me, and from that day on we have proudly carried him on our shoulders.