Man About the House

by Alison Kelly

  She paused, her body moving gently against his in reaction to a long, soulful sigh.

  ‘He was a sales representative for a tractor company and had a flat he stayed in when he was in the region. I know he took me for a fool, but I truly had no idea he was married. None. Until his wife and son turned up on the doorstep three months later while he was out of town.’

  Anger flared in every muscle of Brett’s body. The word ‘Bastard’ which hissed though his clenched teeth was too complimentary to the mongrel.

  tom not sure if I was more heartbroken or humiliated, but I went home believing Faith would stick by me.’ Her laugh was brittle and without humour. ‘I guess that made me a fool twice over.’

  ‘It’s not foolish to hope that the people you love will love you back,’ Brett told her, aching from the extent of the hurt inflicted on her young life.

  ‘It feels foolish,’ she said bleakly. ‘But I’m not going to be foolish any more. I don’t think it’s wrong to want to be happy. To try and find fulfilment and contentment in life if it doesn’t hurt others. It’s my life and I want to experience it, not just wait quietly for it to end.

  ‘Maybe I am selfish and self-obsessed, Brett,’ she said quietly. ‘But I just can’t feel guilty about wanting to pursue my dreams.’

  ‘Oh, Joanna,’ he said softly. ‘You don’t have to feel guilty... If ever anyone has earned the right to happiness it’s you.’

  As he spoke he stroked her hair, becoming so mesmerised by its cool silkiness that he kept combing his fingers through it over and over, until the action matched the rhythm of the sea. The silky tresses slipped from his fingers each time a wave lapped the shore. He didn’t look at her, but kept staring out at the night-darkened sea, as if he could somehow prolong the moment when this would end and she’d move away.

  All too soon she began to shift restlessly, but in an act of defiance his fingers continued their rhythm.

  ‘Brett...’

  ‘Mmm?’

  ‘Will you kiss me?’

  So this was what cardiac arrest felt like!

  Now he was looking at her! ‘K-kiss you?’

  She nodded as calmly as if she’d requested a cup of tea and he’d asked if she wanted milk.

  ‘Why?’ he heard himself ask, and started questioning both their sanity.

  ‘Because the other day you were angry with me. And you made me angry.’ Turquoise eyes locked on his. ‘But I’ve kept wondering what it would be like if we weren’t angry.’

  Brett heaved in a long, controlling breath and held it. He had to because he was going to drown in those eyes. ‘It would be,’ he said, his hand closing on her chin, ‘a lot more than you’ve bargained for, Joanna. It would be hot...passionate...and very hard to stop.’

  ‘I see...’ Her gaze lowered to his neck. ‘I’ve been imagining it’d be soft...gentle...’ He felt her inhale before lifting her eyes back to his. ‘And very hard to stop.’

  In that nano-second of time, even before his mouth touched hers, Brett knew he was in love. With her. With everything about her. Her simplistic honesty, her beauty, her naivety; everything.

  He had expected to have to hold himself in check, but it wasn’t necessary. The tenderness he felt for this woman gave him a patience he’d not credited himself with; it was no sacrifice to gently brush his lips with feather-lightness over hers instead of ravishing them. Nor was it a hardship for the tip of his tongue to trace their shape in slow, sensual exploration rather than plunge into their depths as he’d fantasised. And the glorious reward for his patience was the feel of her arm snaking around his neck and her fingers spreading against the base of his skull. There was further reward when her mouth parted to invite him deeper, and in the whispery groan she made when he declined, to tug lightly on her lower lip instead.

  Then all Brett could do was lean back and let their combined weight flatten him against the ground as he lost himself in what he knew was truly the first kiss of his life. Even in the plethora of emotions which poured through him when her own tongue took the trembling initiative to seek what it wanted, tenderness was still the most prominent.

  How much time passed between then and when he threaded his fingers through Jo’s hair and was jarred by the variation in texture, he didn’t know, but it was only then he became aware of the soft misty rain falling. Had it been summer, he wouldn’t have found it intrusive enough to curb his pleasure, but the chill winter air demanded common sense.

  Reluctantly he eased his mouth from hers, finding some measure of compensation for the loss in her slowly opening eyes. Once again they were teal, not turquoise, but this time they were sensuously drowsy as they surveyed him. That she still hadn’t noticed the rain, now falling quite heavily, was both flattering and amusing.

  Smiling, he drew a finger down her elegant nose. ‘It’s raining.’

  ‘That’s okay; my coat’s waterproof.’

  He laughed at her vague, automatic response. ‘Unfortunately I’m not,’ he said, encouraging her onto her side.

  After quickly getting to his feet he helped her up, then, holding her hand, started to hurry towards the house. His mind was still a jumble as to what he was going to do when he got there.

  ‘Brett...’ she said, stopping suddenly and making him turn to her. ‘I like it better when we’re not angry.’

  Her simple, uncomplicated honesty created a warmth within him that negated the now teeming rain and a sweater too wet to offer protection against the wind. If he were to be equally as truthful with her, he’d tell her he’d fallen in love with her.

  But he wouldn’t.

  He couldn’t.

  Because he’d fallen in love with a woman who hadn’t experienced enough of life to be bound by his expectations of it.

  He didn’t know what he was going to do about his predicament, and the wisest, safest thing was to suspend things until he did.

  In that instant he felt a momentary flash of anger towards her for inspiring a tenderness capable of overpowering his desire for her, a love that demanded he consider her needs ahead of his own for fear of hurting her. Never had he felt so tormented or uncertain of himself. And in the utter confusion that reigned between his head, heart and hormones, he clutched desperately at humour to get him through.

  ‘Joanna...’ he said, sending a pointed look to the raining skies. ‘Exactly how long can you tread water?’

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  THE water was cold and grey as dawn lit the morning, and chopped up by a wind that couldn’t make up its mind from which direction to blow. Even in a wetsuit Brett couldn’t last more than fifteen minutes in it. After a night spent staring at the ceiling, he’d figured a good solid workout against the elements might go some way to clearing his confused mind and emotions. In theory the idea had seemed good; in reality it had just left him colder and more agitated.

  The glow of the bathroom light up at the house told him Jo was now up and about; the instinctive part of him wanted to bound up the steps and take up where the rain had interrupted them last night, but logic told him following his instincts was the worst thing he could do. As they’d done all night, brain and hormones continued to debate the issue as he crossed the sand and climbed the steps to the house. When there was still no clear victor by the time he reached the patio, he decided he needed an impartial adjudicator.

  Trying to get his circulation going again, Brett jogged the three houses to Jason’s place. His friend being a builder, who was invariably on site at seven to issue his crews with their daily work schedules, Brett figured he would be halfway through his breakfast by now.

  Jason answered the door on the first knock with a steaming cup in his hand and curiously raised eyebrows. ‘Let me guess,’ he said, stepping aside to motion Brett inside. ‘You’ve locked yourself out and didn’t want to wake Joanna, huh?’

  Brett raked his still dripping hair. ‘She’s already awake.’

  ‘Then why are you here, dressed for the invasion of the frogmen?’

&
nbsp; ‘Because she’s awake. The surf sucks. I haven’t slept. And God’s female.’

  ‘Rrrr-ight.’ Jason nodded. ‘And exactly how big was the wave that caused your concussion?’

  ‘About five-foot-three... I’m in love with her, mate.’

  ‘Gosh, there’s a surprise.’ The droll response was accompanied by a wry grin. ‘I could’ve told you that weeks ago. Does she know?’

  ‘Hell, no! That’s why I’m here.’

  Red eyebrows rose. ‘You want me to tell her?’

  ‘No!’ Brett snapped, aghast. ‘I’ve decided I don’t want her to know.’

  ‘Can I ask why?’

  ‘Because if she felt the same way it would ruin her life.’

  Jason chuckled. ‘I wouldn’t say you’re that hard to put up with, mate.’

  Brett let the joke roll past him. ‘The truth is she’s too young for me. And I don’t just mean in years. We’re at totally opposite poles of our life. She’s chomping at the bit to experience all the excitement and bright lights of the world, and I’m...well, I’m ready for all the dull, boring stuff like marriage and kids and...and retirement.’

  ‘Retirement!’ Jason roared with laughter. ‘You’re not even thirty-five yet, mate!’

  ‘Damn it, Jason! You know what I mean!’ Frustration was eating Brett alive. ‘Jo’s had a rotten life to date. She’s never had a chance to be anything but what other people wanted her to be. I love her too much to want to be responsible for robbing her of even one of her dreams or ambitions.’

  ‘And you know for a fact that love, marriage and kids aren’t included in those dreams and ambitions, do you?’

  Brett blinked. ‘Well, no. That is, I don’t know that. Actually...given Jo’s obsession with family, even one that’s treated her like dirt, I’d have to say marriage and kids would be on her agenda,’ he mused.

  ‘Then what’s the problem? Why not tell her how you feel?’

  ‘Because, Jason,’ he said testily, wondering if his friend was being deliberately obtuse, ‘she’s not ready for that sort of commitment now. And I’m not going to put her in a position where she gets confused and thinks she is.’

  ‘God, you’re an arrogant so and so, Brett! Don’t you think Jo ought to have some input as to what she is and isn’t ready for? For that matter, has it occurred to you that she might not be as bowled over by a declaration of love from you for her to even contemplate changing her life on your behalf?’

  ‘Of course it has! Hell, that’s another reason I’m not going to say anything to her. The mere thought of having her toss my feelings back in my face is excruciating. What’s more, she’d probably feel guilty about it.’

  For several moments the other man just stared at him, then he ruefully shook his head. ‘So, if you’re not going to tell her how you feel, what are you planning to do? Wallow in the misery of unrequited love without even bothering to find out if it’s necessary?’

  ‘I don’t know! I thought I had problems when I just wanted to sleep with her...but this! Hell, Jason, by loving her it’s not like I’m just asking her for her body; I’m asking her for her heart, her dreams and her whole life.’

  His friend’s face was an incomprehensible blank.

  Brett dragged a resigned hand over his face. ‘I guess the only thing I can do is simply get over her.’

  ‘You’re going to “simply get over her”,’ Jason echoed, then shook his head. ‘Listen, mate, go take a shower before circulation to your brain freezes entirely. Meanwhile, in the hope of sparing at least one of us more of your rabid self-delusions and rambling, I’m going to work. Lock up when you leave.’

  Brett waited until thirty minutes past the time Jo always left for work before deciding it was safe to go home. While he knew avoiding her every morning wasn’t going to be possible, at least it granted him some more time to come to terms with the decision he’d made before he had to face her.

  ‘Why not tell her how you feel?’ Ha! As a sounding board, Jason made a good vacuum. Still, with a shower and several cups of coffee under his belt, Brett felt sufficiently sure of the decision he’d made to offer a cheeky wink in response to an elderly neighbour’s surprised and speculative expression at the sight of him crossing the street in a sweatsuit the size of which clearly identified it as Jason’s.

  But while the curiosity of a nosy neighbour didn’t surprise him, the feminine giggle that greeted him a moment after he’d entered the house did. His heart flipped over at the sight of Jo’s radiant amusement, before he reminded himself that he wasn’t pleased to see her.

  ‘And you’ve been giving me wardrobe advice?’ she teased, a hand on her hip accentuating the way the black angora dress held her curves.

  ‘What are you doing here? Why aren’t you at work?’ He sounded alarmed only because that was exactly what he was: alarmed that the emotions this woman stirred with her curvaceous figure and beautiful face weren’t being influenced by his noble decision not to act on his feelings for her.

  ‘Meaghan rang while you were out surfing,’ she said, advancing towards him on long shapely legs. ‘Apparently some hitch has occurred with her passport and she needs you at the office to handle last-minute stuff with lawyers while she sorts it out. She sounded really frazzled and upset and said I was to personally give you the message, then catch a ride in with you ASAP.’

  Oh, wonderful. Cooped up in a car with her, her exotic perfume and a dress that was going to show even more thigh when she sat down. Oh, yeah, just what he needed!

  ‘When did you get this?’ she asked, climbing into the black Saab after he’d reversed it out of the garage. Yep, he’d been right! The damn dress did creep beyond the heights of a man’s sanity when she sat down.

  ‘A week ago. Day before I put Mum’s in to be repaired.’

  ‘Oh.’ She gave a sheepish smile. ‘Guess that proves we haven’t exactly seen much of one another lately.’

  ‘I’ve been busy.’

  There was a long moment of silence before she said, ‘And, um...what’s been keeping you so busy?’

  Riding shotgun on my libido around you! he thought, forcing himself to shrug. ‘This and that. Business, plans for the new house. It’s not easy moving your life from one country to another.’

  ‘I see. And, um...are you doing anything tonight?’

  ‘Why?’

  Her cheeks pinkened beneath her make-up. ‘Well, we—that is, the staff at the agency—have organised a surprise dinner for Meaghan tonight. I thought that you might like to come.’

  Brett gripped the steering wheel so hard he marvelled that it didn’t crush. If ever there was a case of having to decide whether to answer the door to opportunity at the risk of getting your fingers jammed in the hinge, this was it.

  ‘I know Meaghan would love it if you came,’ she said, filling a silence in which the tension was almost tangible. ‘And, um...I’ve already said I’ll be bringing a guest. But since I didn’t get around to asking anyone yet...it’s going to mess up the numbers. You’d really be helping me out.’

  And helping himself into an insane asylum! God, it was hard enough to keep his hands off her in broad daylight when they were sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic; he’d never manage it at the end of a night spent listening to her chatter and laugh—

  ‘I can’t do it!’ he blurted aloud.

  For a moment she looked so disappointed Brett was a heartbeat from changing his mind, then she laughed. A very wry laugh. ‘I suppose you’ve got a hot date, huh?’

  ‘As a matter of fact I do.’ Brett told himself it wasn’t so much a lie as his sub-conscious pushing him into activating his decision to get over her.

  ‘Oh... Well, that’s all right,’ she said airily. ‘I’m sure I’ll find somebody to make up the numbers.’

  Brett was sure she would too. It wasn’t as if she didn’t have a cast of thousands phoning her day and night!

  For the remainder of the trip they both contributed to a rigid silence, during which time Brett vowed
that once he got back from dealing with whatever disaster awaited him at the agency, the first thing he was going to do was dig out his old address book!

  It was a minor boost to his ego that the first woman he phoned was almost beside herself with distress at not being able to accept his invitation. ‘Oh, Brett...I wish I could! Gosh, you should’ve called me sooner. I’ve already made arrangements to go to a business function with my husband. But, hey, he’s flying interstate on business for two weeks tomorrow, so how about tomorrow night?’

  Brett decided he’d scored a moral and possibly limb saving victory in declining the offer, even before he learned that her recently acquired husband owned a martial arts school.

  The second candidate on his list was both surprised and pleased to hear from him. Naturally she displayed the right amount of irritation at being called at only six hours’ notice for a Friday night date, but Brett knew this was just one of those things women did. Rather than being irritated by it, he told himself he was relieved to be back dealing with a woman who knew how to ‘play the game’.

  By the time Jo arrived home he had everything under control, at least as far as organisation went. But he couldn’t say that her cheerful revelation about having found a date for the evening didn’t gnaw at his guts.

  ‘You might know him,’ she said. ‘Grant Farr... He’s a model from the agency, and very fond of Meaghan, so he was thrilled to be asked.’

  Brett didn’t know him. Didn’t want to know him. And he would bet both his lungs that the jerk hadn’t agreed to go with Joanna because of his supposed fondness for Meaghan! He made damn sure he was gone from the house before the guy arrived!

  Suzanne Wells was tall, auburn-haired and ten years older than Jo.

  The daughter of two prominent actors, her upbringing had been as liberal as Brett’s, although, unlike him, she’d been educated to within an inch of her life; she held PhDs in History and English Literature, and a degree in Political Science. Currently she was compiling research on the development of the theatre in the South Pacific while trying to increase her flying hours so she could get a commercial pilot’s licence.