The Mystic
Page 16
“I’ll say a prayer and send good energy your way.”
“That’s good, I’ll pray too. It’s going to take a lot of prayers to get a car from her.”
“Yeah. So, I’ll pick you up around eight o’clock.”
“I’ll be ready.”
“Oh, and did the nurse go by yet?”
“What nurse?”
“I guess that means no. I talked to Mom about what happened when Grandpa wandered off and she called a company that hires live-in nurses. She’ll be there sometime today to get settled in, her name is Lisa.”
“Ok, that’s great, Ellie! I hope she’s nice.”
“I’m sure she is. Mom says this company is the best. Maybe she can stay in your mom’s room, since it’s all set up.”
“Sure, that’s fine.”
“Good. This is for the best. You shouldn’t have to care for him on your own.”
“No, I think it’s too much.”
“Ok, well, let me know how it goes with her when I pick you up tomorrow.”
I feel torn because I’m excited to see Johnny, but I also like Zac, a lot, and I don’t want to lead him to think that I’m committed only to him. And I don’t want to hurt him. But I also think he may feel the same way. He’s headed to USC in the fall, and I’m stuck here. And it feels like he has an “out of sight, out of mind” attitude toward me. I guess I do for him as well.
When I’m with Johnny I feel like I’m with a rock star. My stomach does somersaults and I feel like laughing for no reason. I have to resist the urge to follow him around like a lost puppy. And he’s so beautiful. I know guys aren’t usually described as beautiful, and I don’t mean it in a feminine way. He’s just a beautiful person, and it shows through his personality and it makes his good looks even more attractive.
But, he’s had a steady girlfriend for a long time, and the way they acted when they were together, I’m pretty sure they had an intimate relationship. Whereas I’ve had two boyfriends in my life, and I wasn’t intimate with either one. So I think he wouldn’t want to be with someone as inexperienced as me. Still, a girl can dream…
***
This time when I go to the ruins, I feel like I’m among friends. People know I’m Ellie’s cousin and they smile at me. Johnny’s not here yet, but Sonya is, and she’s keeping an eye on me. I stick close to Ellie; she and Andre are inseparable when they are together. I continue to get the feeling that he doesn’t like me.
I’m talking with Ellie and Andre, then Ellie excuses herself and it’s just me and Andre. He says, “So…” as if something is on his mind that he doesn’t know how to say. I wait a few minutes, but his words don’t come easily.
I say, “Andre, I don’t know why you don’t like me.”
“It’s not that I don’t like you. You don’t understand. Ellie has been so worried about you. It’s just that…I don’t know.”
“She’s worried about me and that takes something away from you? Is that it?”
“No. It’s not like that. You make it sound like I’m jealous or something.”
“You’re not?”
“I’m not. Look, I don’t know you, but I feel bad about what you went through. I lost my dad, too.”
He looks sad; I almost think he might cry, and I thought that’s something he never did because he always seems so tough.
“I didn’t know that. Ellie didn’t tell me.”
“I told her not to. I didn’t want to talk about it. And I know what it’s like, you know; everyone says they’re sorry, and then people start to feel sorry for you. I didn’t want to be another person feeling sorry for you.”
“Well, I definitely got that. You could have told me, though, I would have understood then like I do now.”
“We never had talked alone before. It’s not the kind of thing you walk up and tell someone right after you meet.”
“Do you want to tell me how he died?”
“He was no war hero. He died in prison; he was there serving life. Dad said one of his buddies talked him into robbing a convenience store, and that buddy of his shot the store clerk. But, because my dad was there too, and they both made off with the cash, my dad caught the rap too. Plus, he already had a record.
“Anyway, I never really knew him. He wasn’t a real dad to me. My stepdad was more of a dad to me than he ever was. It still hurt though. I imagined myself going to that prison and telling him that I’m not anything like him. That I’m better than that, and he didn’t ruin my life just because he wanted to live life as a junkie who would do anything to get his next fix.”
I’m shocked. I don’t know if I’m more surprised by his story or the fact that he’s opening up to me like this. “I don’t know what to say, Andre. I don’t know you that well, but I feel like I know Ellie well enough to say that she wouldn’t be with someone like you’re describing your real dad to be.”
He puffs out his chest at the mention of Ellie and what a good person she is. He loves her, I knew that, and now I know just how much.
“I love her more than anything. She wanted me to talk to you, you know, to smooth things over. You mean a lot to her, too. So, this is me, smoothing things over, ok? My dad was no hero, and even though I may say I didn’t care, I guess a part of me did. He had a heart attack in prison one night. He was alone in his cell. He died all alone.”
“I know how you feel. I mean, not exactly. I know that I didn’t get to tell my dad goodbye. His death was sudden, too.” I look down at the ground and kick the dirt around. “And you’re so right about the sympathy, so I’m fine to skip it. I do want to say, thank you for telling me.”
I look up and meet his eyes; he’s smiling back at me. His eyes are a light brown, like amber. Then he looks around, and I see that he’s looking for Ellie. She sees us and comes back.
“Hey, you two. Everything ok?” she says.
“Yeah, fine,” I say with a reassuring smile.
Andre says nothing. He pulls her close and gives her a kiss on her neck. She giggles.
Johnny shows up and heads straight for us.
He says, “Hi.”
“Hi,” I say back.
A guy walks up, slaps Johnny on the back and says, “Hey, bro.”
Johnny looks at him and says, “Hey, haven’t seen you in a while.”
His friend walks away, but looks back and says, “Been busy.”
Johnny laughs and nods at someone else who’s telling him hi.
Everyone seems to look up to Johnny; he has a way with people. I like that he spends his time talking to me. Sonya keeps interrupting us to ask him what he thinks of this or that, things that are obviously unimportant. He answers her questions, and he’s nice, but he always turns his attention back to me. I believe they’re broken up from the way he acts, and she acts like she wishes they were still a couple.
I had so many questions I had in mind to ask him. I want to know more about his past and how he got to where he is now, and where he wants to be. But none of that matters right now. I don’t care how he got here, I’m just glad he’s here. With me.
“You look nice tonight, very pretty.” He smiles at me and my heart beats faster. I smile back. I want to live in this moment forever.
***
I close my eyes and invite sleep. I feel my dream world all around me; I smell the flowers and hear the animals. Off in the distance, an elephant herd watches as the young ones romp in the tall grass.
I am standing on a dirt road; before me lie two paths. One leads to a path unknown, the other winds around so I can’t see where it ends. And there is my father. He’s in his uniform, ready to leave for deployment. “Am I coming too?” I say. My voice sounds childlike.
“Not this time,” he says.
If not now, when? He turns away and begins to walk down the long and winding road. I run after him.
He turns back and says, “It’s not your time, Raina Rae. I love you very much, and you have been through your share of heartache. It’s time for you to shine. G
o back. Go back and take the path that leads you home. I will be in your heart and your memories, and always with you in spirit. You have a gift, and you can help others. You are needed in the living world. Now, you have to let go of me.” He takes the winding path and disappears.
I must choose. I choose to let go, but vow to never forget. I take my own path, and my journey begins.
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The Mystic