Room 46 & Short Story Collection

by Helen McKenna

  ‘I’m well thank you Mr Green. We’ve got chocolate, cream or plain biscuits today, which would you fancy?’

  ‘I’ll take the plain thanks. I haven’t been near the gym in weeks and it’s starting to show,’ David said, patting his stomach.

  Josephine set the cup, saucer and plate down and nodded politely before pushing her trolley silently out of the office. David rested his feet on his open lower desk drawer and sipped his coffee. As managing director he knew what tea ladies earned and couldn’t fathom why anyone would slave away each day for such a pittance. He often wondered why Josephine didn’t do a secretarial course and move up in the world. Despite being a bit odd, she was intelligent and courteous. She was capable of far more than her lowly tea lady position.

  He was aware of the speculation and decidedly unkind gossip about Josephine around the office. The younger women made fun of her plain appearance, unfashionable clothes and stern manner. And the men joked about the state of her love life. A true gentleman, David refused to contribute to these conversations, but he had to agree with some of the issues raised. Josephine never attended social functions and was not a member of the social club. She refused to contribute to collections for presents or for the Friday Wine Fund.

  Even so, David defended her when the other staff complained about her stinginess. He pointed out that it couldn’t be easy to live on such a small salary and that Josephine might even be supporting an elderly parent or have some heavy financial commitments. But his comments had little impact and David couldn’t help but think that with just a little bit more effort Josephine could fit in much better.

  She didn’t seem to want to though.

  Hardly any of the young secretaries ordered from the tea trolley. Most of them preferred to slip down to Fi Fi’s Café for one of the more exotic – and in Josephine’s opinion highly overpriced – brews on offer there. Therefore, more than half the desks were empty when Josephine made her rounds through the secretarial pool at 10.35. It didn’t escape her attention that the trip to the cafe would increase morning tea breaks from the regulation fifteen minutes to half an hour. As she held no sway in office politics, Josephine didn’t voluntarily offer her opinions to anyone, but if anybody cared to ask she could report the movements of most of the staff in the office.

  She noticed many other things too like how much stationary was pilfered. Today she had watched Brad furtively slip a stapler, a box of staples and a couple of USB drives into his briefcase, whereas Tina didn’t seem to care who noticed her depositing in her handbag two notebooks, a handful of pens and a bulky sticky tape dispenser with a backup roll. Meanwhile, Catriona had been giggling and cooing like a lovebird into her work phone for the last twenty minutes and Josephine knew that Catriona’s boyfriend was currently working in Perth. Then again Catriona’s boss, Jayne spent an excessive amount of time making her own personal long distance phone calls, so she was unlikely to call Catriona out on her behaviour.

  Furthermore Josephine couldn’t believe how unproductive some of the staff were. Colin O’Brien was renowned for having the cleanest desktop in the building and everybody agreed that was because so little work was performed on it. Josephine couldn’t fathom why nobody confronted him about it.

  Making her way through the Accounts section Josephine shook her head at the recently installed widescreen, super-slim monitors on each desk. Out of curiosity she had priced them and couldn’t believe the company had wasted so much money replacing monitors that still worked. And even more perplexing to Josephine, each staff member had recently been issued with the newest model iPhone. In her opinion, productivity in the company was limited enough without providing extra gadgets, and unnecessarily extravagant gadgets, to distract staff even further.

  After picking up a cardigan somebody had carelessly dropped onto the floor, Josephine wheeled the trolley into the alcove where the senior staff sat. Donna, one of the longest serving secretaries, and also one of the nastiest, was the only person there.

  ‘I hope that’s skim milk,’ she said rudely as Josephine set down her cup and saucer.

  ‘Same as every other day Donna,’ Josephine replied, amazed that somebody who smoked a pack a day was so concerned about her health.

  After finishing the morning tea run, Josephine retraced her steps to collect all the cups and plates. She wondered why it was that people had to leave that last little piece of biscuit or cake on their plates and dregs of tea and coffee in their cups, but she gathered them up without complaint and went back to her workspace to wash up and make preparations for the afternoon tea run.

  Despite the wealth of the company, Blackstone paid little attention to the needs of the tea lady. Josephine’s workspace was a tiny recess off the kitchen with a small sink. There was no dishwasher and you couldn’t swing a cat in the small space. Yet the cups and plates were always scrupulously clean and the cutlery sparkled. Previously, her job had been done by two people, yet she managed it easily alone, something of which she was very proud. She could not be faulted on her work. There was no wastage and expenditure for morning and afternoon teas had remained unchanged for two years due to her careful budgeting.

  At lunchtime Josephine went for a walk to stretch her legs and then sat in the Botanical Gardens to eat her sandwiches. She never ate in the staff room. She knew none of the other women in the office liked her and besides she found their conversations about shopping and socialising tedious. In the ten years Josephine had worked at Blackstone she could remember buying her lunch only twice. She simply couldn’t fathom paying more for a single sandwich than for an entire loaf of bread at the supermarket. Day old bread was even cheaper and you could hardly notice the difference.

  After completing the afternoon tea round, cleaning up and organising things for the next day, another work day was over for Josephine. She buttoned her jacket, collected her handbag and set off for the train station. The trip home was slightly quicker, given that she finished earlier than most city office workers. Upon arriving home before 5.15 pm every day, she would follow an unvarying routine each night.

  Dinner was at 6.30 pm. She bought her supplies in bulk at a discount wholesaler and on the first Saturday of each month she would cook up a month’s supply of meals to go in the freezer. Take-away was never a temptation. After finishing her meal and washing up, Josephine watched an hour of television on the portable set she had purchased at a garage sale for fifteen dollars. Sure the colour was a bit wonky and there was no remote control, but she was used to it now. What did it matter if everything on the screen was tinged in green anyway?

  Switching off the TV at 8.30 pm, Josephine settled back in her armchair for an hour of reading. The armchair was also a garage sale purchase. She loved to read. A member of two libraries, each fortnight she would select five new titles. She didn’t believe in buying books for herself.

  Every night before climbing into bed Josephine would look around at her little home with pride. In exchange for caretaking a large house, while the owners travelled frequently, she was allowed to live in the detached ground floor flat rent-free. She had to pay her own utilities and food, but that was minimal enough. After living there for almost two decades she considered it to be her home and had no desire to move anywhere else.

  • • • • •

  One Friday morning a month later, Jerry was bleary eyed on the train. After partying until the early hours he had only managed two hours sleep and wasn’t sure he could face a morning making egg sandwiches. As far as hangovers went, this was a decent one. He opted out of the card game, concentrating instead on sitting perfectly still and not thinking about food.

  The seat next to Josephine promised to be a safe bet. She would not expect him to make conversation nor would she lecture him about his self-inflicted discomfort. So preoccupied with his nausea, Jerry didn’t notice Josephine studying the business pages of the paper with great interest.

  Nor did he notice Amanda’s desperate attempts to get his attention. As Josephine was so e
ngrossed in the paper she hadn’t noticed her handbag had fallen open on the seat next to her. Amanda couldn’t believe that Jerry was wasting such a great opportunity to snoop on Sister Josephine, or whoever she was. They had been waiting years for a chance like this! After biting viciously into an apple she tried some mental telepathy. That didn’t work either. It would be far too pointed to peer into the bag herself, although she did briefly consider it.

  As they got off the train, Amanda caught up to Jerry but her glare went unnoticed because as soon as they cleared the doorway he started running towards the nearest toilets. Throwing her apple core at Jerry’s fleeing form Amanda headed for the escalators, typing an abusive text message to him as she walked. Jerry, however, was too busy throwing up to hear the beep as the message came through.

  Before she even entered the building Josephine knew things would be tense. And she was right. There were no clusters of people gossiping in the foyer and management spent the entire morning huddled together in David Green’s office. Josephine served them tea and coffee as they talked in anxious tones.

  Rumours of problems within the company had been circulating for months, but the staff all believed it was merely speculation. Today’s newspaper article had brought the dire reality to everybody’s attention, sending a wave of panic around the office.

  Josephine was washing up when one of the junior secretaries delivered the memo. Addressed to all staff the message was printed on plain paper instead of the usual heavy, embossed stock the company favoured. Wiping her hands on a hand towel, Josephine paused to slip her glasses on before reading:

  While media speculation is, as usual, sensationalised and exaggerated, it is true that Blackstone is experiencing some moderate cash flow problems. We have been instructed to prepare a report for the auditors to be presented at a Board Meeting in two weeks’ time. Until then we ask that all staff be prudent in their use of company resources and mindful of productivity levels. To facilitate this, the following changes will take effect immediately:

  - All long distance calls must be cleared through the switch.

  - There will be no paid overtime or meal allowances under any circumstances.

  - The employee subsidy at Fi Fi’s Café is hereby cancelled.

  We trust that you will all work with us to ensure our company’s future.

  David Green,

  Managing Director

  As Josephine carefully folded the memo and put it in her bag, she couldn’t help but smile.

  • • • • •

  The change in atmosphere around the office was immediate and noticeable. All the staff seemed to be outdoing themselves in an effort to make their positions indispensable. Josephine had never seen the young secretaries work so hard. When she heard Bella sobbing in the toilets about how she needed her job to pay for her upcoming wedding, Josephine wondered if it was inhuman to have little sympathy for a person who had contributed to her own downfall. Bella’s reputation for spending the majority of her workday making personal phone calls and surfing the internet was right on the money.

  Gerald Pitts gave Josephine his usual look of contempt as she brought in his afternoon tea one day. ‘You’d better make the most of your job while it lasts Josie,’ he sneered, ‘tea ladies are generally the first to go.’

  Josephine shrugged. ‘Anything is possible in this world Mr Pitts. You know what they say about life’s upheavals often being blessings in disguise.’

  ‘I’m sure there are plenty of award wage servant’s jobs out there,’ Gerald said. ‘I suggest you start looking very soon.’

  In response, Josephine offered a cold, insincere smile that unnerved Gerald more than he cared to admit.

  Blackstone’s financial woes were soon well known in the business community. It was a source of gossip in many other companies and there were varying opinions about what was behind their downfall. Having recently retired from Blackstone, Kevin Jeffries followed the story with great interest and a week after the announcement he and some friends dissected the situation over a long lunch at his riverside mansion.

  ‘Overstaffing is the biggest problem,’ he said as he lit his customary post-meal cigar. ‘Too many chiefs and far too many Indians. There’s too many perks for the younger ones too. Why should some kid in the mail room have a company funded mobile phone?’

  Gerald Pitts nodded glumly and pointedly moved his chair out of the path of Kevin’s cigar smoke. It was easy for Kevin to say that now, with his golden handshake cheque cashed. Gerald knew that his former colleague had ridden the gravy boat in style for many years and had reaped countless rewards from it. At least five years from retirement, Gerald was feeling decidedly nervous about his future with Blackstone.

  After its two week stay of execution the moment of truth arrived for Blackstone when the auditors moved in. After the board meeting and presentation of the audit report, a specialised management committee was sent in. This was not seen as a positive sign for Blackstone’s future. All media reports also suggested it was not looking good for the former blue-chip company.

  So the news that the company would trade on was unexpected but very welcome. Staff were warned, however, to brace themselves for some savage cost cutting to ride out the storm.

  Unsurprisingly the first fall of the axe was on staffing levels, resulting in a wave of retrenchments. One by one, each employee was called into the boardroom to meet with the Management Committee. Those lucky enough to retain their jobs were informed of their new reduced salary packages and loss of fringe benefits. The rest were asked to leave the building within the hour.

  As Josephine was required to keep the coffee cups of the Management Committee topped up, she was privy to the downfall of Blackstone’s former high flyers. Most took the news stoically, but the atmosphere in the room was more oppressive than anything she had ever experienced. Although her face remained impassive the entire time, Josephine was particularly satisfied to see Gerald and Frank being handed their pink slips.

  The bloodletting lasted almost three hours. The upshot was that Blackstone had been relieved of nine senior managers, eight secretaries and twelve administration staff. A security guard escorted each of the retrenched staff members out of the building after they had packed their belongings and said their goodbyes.

  The Management Committee remained in the building for the rest of the day, completing their paperwork and making the necessary arrangements for the company to continue in its new, leaner form. At four o’clock, the head of the committee Simon Nelson asked senior secretary Donna to summon Josephine to the boardroom.

  Donna smirked as she made her way to the kitchen recess. Smugly comfortable about keeping her job, she was looking forward to witnessing Josephine’s almost certain downfall. And she wasn’t the only one. The staff who remained had been watching all day for the tea lady to be called to the boardroom.

  Josephine noticed Donna’s self-satisfied look but said nothing as she made her way to the boardroom.

  ‘Sit down,’ Simon said with a tired smile, as Josephine hovered politely near the door. Removing his glasses for a moment, Simon rubbed his eyes. What a day! Despite what many people believed, he never enjoyed the task of telling people that they had been fired.

  Josephine sat and waited expectantly.

  ‘Well, did that go as you wanted it to?’ he asked.

  In all the years Simon had worked in his current position he had never come across a set of circumstances quite like this. Sure, it wasn’t unheard of for an anonymous investor to come forward and rescue a company that had gone belly up due to its own mismanagement, and there had even been occasions when the investor had been an employee of the company. But never before had he sat down with the tea lady, who was considered to occupy the lowest position on the professional totem pole, and discussed how her money had saved the company.

  They talked business for half an hour, sorting out paperwork and other formalities. Then, as Josephine rose to leave the room a thoughtful expression crossed he
r face. ‘I’ve been rethinking the secretaries,’ she said. ‘I think we can afford to lose another one. I’ll tell Donna to come back in and see you now.’

  Simon nodded but kept his expression neutral. Blackstone had no idea what was in store for them with Josephine at the helm.

  Josephine rode the train home as always, although today she couldn’t help but feel a small sense of satisfaction. She knew that Simon and the others had been dying to ask how on earth she had managed to do it, but they had refrained. She had to give them points for restraint.

  There was no danger that Simon would have caught Josephine in a weak moment and found out her story. Josephine had vowed that nobody would ever know of her impoverished childhood, nor of her first job at fourteen working as a toilet cleaner in a shopping centre. The years spent watching her father throw every last cent away at the local TAB and her mother passively accepting it rather than getting a job herself had borne in Josephine a fierce determination for financial security.

  On her first day of work she had promised herself that she would never squander her hard earned money and she had lived up to that. It had not been as difficult as many would imagine. In fact Josephine’s financial strategy was quite simple – to put away more than she spent each week, to choose a conservative investment strategy and to never, ever be impulsive in her spending.