Mal

by Catherine Lievens

  “I know you like your clothes and your make-up, but why do you go overboard when you know you have to see them? Wouldn’t it be better to be just like you are instead of trying to get a rise out of them?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  Mal poked Simon’s ribs and Simon giggled. “Come on. If you tell me, I’ll tell you the truth about Paul.”

  Simon straightened and gave Mal a wide-eyed looked. “Really?”

  “Yeah.”

  “And you’ll tell me just because I tell you about my parents?”

  “Yup.” It was time. Mal knew something was going to happen, and he didn’t want his friends to suffer because of it. They should know what Paul was capable of doing, so that if they ever met him, they’d stay far away from him.

  “Fine. It’s not a mystery, you know. I just like to make them angry.”

  “Why?”

  “Because they made me angry so many times. They tried to change me, and when they couldn’t, they insulted me. I had to leave the house I grew up in because I couldn’t stand their words anymore, Mal. I’m glad I did, because I live with you and Elliott and I love it, but I still have parents, and they won’t even look at me when I pass by them.”

  “Wouldn’t things be easier if you toned it down? I’m not saying to erase your personality, but you could see them dressed like you’re dressed now.”

  “It wouldn’t help. I still wear too-tight jeans and make-up, and I’ll never be butch like my brother anyway. I’m not a man, because I’m too small and scrawny and I don’t like sports. I’m the poster boy for the twinks.”

  “You know that’s bullshit. I’ve seen you watch football with Nick, and you were even more amped up than he was. And you’re good at playing baseball.”

  “But I’m still scrawny, and they’ll never accept me, not unless I become more like Darryl, and I’m not about to do that. I don’t want to be a jackass. It’s your turn.”

  Mal shook his head. “You haven’t told me why you make them angry on purpose.”

  “Because they should love me like I am and they don’t. So I behave even worse. I’m so angry at them, so why shouldn’t they be angry at me? Now it’s your turn to spill the beans.”

  Mal bit on his lower lip. “Paul used to hit me. He, well, he became weird when I moved in with him, but it became worse, and in the end he beat me almost every day, for whatever reason he could find.”

  “Oh, Mal.” Simon sat up and hugged Mal, and Mal held on. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

  “Because I’m ashamed. I’m a guy. I shouldn’t have let him do it.”

  “He only beat you, right?”

  Mal knew what Simon was asking. “Yeah. I guess that was enough to give him his high, or whatever.”

  “Good. And stop thinking that I’m-a-man bullshit, yeah? You managed to help Elliott out of it. If you believe he had no faults in what happened to him, then you should believe you had no fault in what happened to you. Otherwise, you’ve been lying to him.”

  * * * *

  Will finally turned off his computer. He’d wanted to do it ever since he’d turned it on that morning. He’d never minded working long hours, but now, he wanted to be with Mal as much as he could, and working had become a hassle he could do without. He didn’t remember it being this bad when he’d become Heath’s boyfriend, and he guessed that should tell him something. He wasn’t sure he wanted to examine what, though.

  He waved at his colleagues but didn’t stop. He didn’t want to have to explain why he was bowing out of their monthly drinking night out. Not that they’d take it badly—no one had ever said anything about Heath. If anything, some of them would be happy for him. He’d been moping around the office for months. He just wanted to keep Mal to himself for a while longer. He already had to share him with all his friends, and for all that he’d said he didn’t have many, he sure had more of them than Will did.

  Will didn’t mind. He wanted Mal to be happy, and he already knew Mal wasn’t as solitary as he was. Will didn’t mind spending most of his time alone. In fact, he loved it. Mal was different. He wasn’t exactly the heart of the party, but he was more social than Will. Will was trying to change that aspect of his personality, and he was spending some time with Mal and his friends, but they were exactly that—Mal’s friends. It felt a bit awkward most of the time, and Will hoped it’d change once he and Mal had been together for a while.

  He hurried to his car and jumped in, his hand already at his throat, opening his tie. He threw it in the backseat and drove to Gillham for what felt like the hundredth time. He and Mal had been together for a little over two weeks, and they’d seen each other almost every night. Will loved it, but driving there every night was taking its toll, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to go on for much longer. The four hour drive right after a full working day was the last thing he needed, but he needed to see Mal even more.

  It was dark when Will got to Gillham. He drove to the house Mal shared with his friends and parked. He didn’t get out of the car right away but closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the headrest. He was tired.

  He had to talk with Mal, because he couldn’t continue like this. At least it was Friday and he’d be able to rest for the next two days since he was staying in Gillham for the weekend.

  Someone knocked on the window and Will jumped. He pressed his hand to his chest, breathing hard. Simon was laughing on the other side of the glass, and Will opened the door. “You scared the crap out of me.”

  “Sorry.” At least Simon looked repentant. “You fell asleep?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe.”

  Simon examined Will with a critical eye. “You look like shit.”

  Will grabbed his bag and got out of the car. “Thanks, Simon. I don’t know what I’d do without your compliments.”

  “Oooh, I didn’t know you were snarky.”

  Will sighed. “I’m not. I’m just tired.”

  “You should have stayed home tonight.”

  “And stay away from Mal? I don’t think so.”

  “You could have driven here first thing tomorrow morning.”

  “I know.”

  Simon gave Will a knowing look. “But he’s your mate, and you want to be close to him as much as you can.”

  “Yeah. Wait, how do you know he’s my mate? I thought Mal wasn’t telling anyone?”

  “He’s not, but I’m not blind, or stupid. You might be the sweetest man I’ve ever met, but I don’t think even you would drive four hours every night just to see your boyfriend of two weeks.”

  “Huh.” It made sense.

  “I’m not going to tell Mal I know, because I have an idea why he doesn’t want us to know.”

  “Yeah, okay.”

  Simon chuckled. “I don’t think you’re going to be up for watching a movie tonight.”

  Will straightened. “I’m going to do my best to, though.”

  The smile Simon gave him was soft and somewhat sad, and Will acted on instinct, hooking his arm around Simon’s shoulders and dragging close enough to kiss the top of his head. He obviously startled both of them, and he laughed. “Yeah, I’m definitely tired.”

  Simon punched Will’s shoulder gently. “Come on, let’s go in.”

  Will drudged after Simon. He could hardly keep his eyes open, and it wasn’t even nine yet. He knew he’d fall asleep as soon as he sat on the couch that had been his bed for the past couple of weeks, and he hated it. At least he and Mal would have the next two days.

  Will left his bag next to the door and took his shoes off. He followed the voices to the kitchen, smiling at the smell of home-made cooking. That, too, was a good thing. He lived alone, and most of the time, he made-do with a sandwich or some microwave meal. He hadn’t had to ever since he’d started seeing Mal.

  He walked in and Mal was there, smiling and talking to Elliott. He didn’t notice Will right away—but when he did—his smil
e widened and his eyes shone. He hurried toward Will and hugged him close, and Will let his mate’s presence sooth him. “It smells good in here.”

  “We made lasagna.”

  “Mmm.”

  “Go on, wash your hands and sit. It’s ready.”

  Will obeyed, a smile on his lips as he watched Mal and his friends flit around the room to get everything ready. The lasagna was great, but it didn’t help Will’s tiredness, and it showed when he nearly face-planted in his plate.

  Someone at the table chuckled and a soft hand cupped his cheek. “You should go to sleep.”

  Will blinked his eyes open and looked at Mal. “I want to spend time with you.”

  “I’ll come with you, then.”

  “There’s no place for you on the couch if I lay down.”

  Mal nibbled at his lower lip. “Come sleep in the bed, then. That way we’ll be together, and I can watch a movie while you sleep. Is that okay?”

  “In your bed?”

  Mal laughed. “Unless Simon volunteers his.”

  “Hey!” Simon protested. “No offense, Will, but I’m not sleeping with my best friend’s m—boyfriend.”

  Will smiled at Simon. “I wouldn’t want to sleep with you either. I bet you snore.”

  “I do not snore!”

  Mal laughed and got up, pulling Will along. He paused and looked at the others. “Are you okay to clean up? I’ll do it tomorrow.”

  “Go,” Elliott said. “We’ll do it.”

  Mal didn’t lose any time. He dragged Will upstairs and into his room. Will had already been in it, so he didn’t lose time going into the bathroom to shower. He kissed Mal as he went and Mal smiled.

  Once Will was done with his shower, he realized he’d forgotten his bag next to the front door. He wrapped himself in a towel and peeked out, but Mal wasn’t in his room. He’d put some clothes on the bed, though, and Will was surprised to see brand new pajama pants and a T-shirt. There were even socks and underwear, and he scurried back to the bathroom to dress.

  When he stepped back into the bedroom, Mal was in his pajamas, sitting on the bed, the covers up to his chest, the remote in his hand. He patted the bed next to himself and Will climbed in, feeling a bit awkward. He wasn’t sure what was permitted. Could he hug Mal? Cuddle with him? Or should he keep his distance?

  Just to be sure, Will stayed on his side of the bed, his back ramrod straight. Mal was silent, so Will attempted conversation. “You bought me pajamas.”

  “Yeah. I went shopping today, and I thought it’d be a good idea to have some clothes for you here.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  Silence fell again, and Will fidgeted. Sleep was already pulling at him, though, and he turned on his side, settling in a more comfortable position. He was almost asleep when he felt Mal mutter, “To hell with it.”

  Mal turned the TV off and moved closer to Will. He slithered his way against Will’s chest and Will sighed. Will wrapped his arms around his mate and kissed his forehead. He fell asleep only moments later, finally feeling like he was home.

  * * * *

  Mal bounced down the stairs, a smile on his face. Simon scowled at him from the table when Mal entered the kitchen. “Why are you so happy so early in the morning?”

  “It’s almost ten.”

  “That’s what I said. Early.”

  Simon was bleary-eyed and clutching at a steaming mug Mal knew had to contain coffee. There was a pillow crease on Simon’s cheek and his hair was all over the place. He looked so cute Mal wanted to blow raspberries on his stomach. Will probably wouldn’t appreciate it, though, so Mal kept his distance.

  “So did you do it? Is that why you’re so happy?”

  Mal filled his own mug and sat in front of Simon. “By it you mean sleeping, right?”

  Simon threw his balled up napkin at Mal’s face, but his aim was bad and he missed. “No, that’s not what I meant. I slept and I’m not happy. You shouldn’t be if that’s all you did.”

  Mal pouted. “Aww, but it was so nice to wake up in Will’s arms.”

  It really had been. Mal had been aware of Will’s presence downstairs for the past two weeks, and it had made him sleep badly, because he’d wanted Will with him. Last night, he’d had him, and Mal had slept like a baby. He’d woken up with his head on Will’s arm, Will’s other arm around his waist, and their legs tangled together. It had taken him a little while to extricate himself from Will, especially since Will hadn’t seemed to want to let him go, but Mal had managed without waking his boyfriend.

  A napkin landed on his nose and he blinked at Simon. “What did you do that for?”

  “Because you look so happy and you weren’t listening to me.”

  “You don’t like that I’m happy?”

  Simon sighed and rubbed his eyes. “Of course I like that you’re happy. I want you to be. I’m just jealous because I want a boyfriend too. Don’t mind me.”

  Mal reached out and patted Simon’s hand. “You’ll find someone.”

  Simon snorted. “I’d like it to be before I hit my forties.”

  “Why? You’re a shifter. What’s wrong with being forty?”

  “Nothing, except for the fact that I’m only twenty-three, so it would mean I’d be alone for almost twenty years.”

  “Don’t be so dramatic, Simon. You’ll find someone.”

  “But I want to find my mate. I don’t think anyone else would want me.”

  Mal frowned. “What are you talking about?”

  “My parents don’t even want me, and the only relationship stronger than that one is the one between mates.”

  “Don’t be an idiot. I’d want you if you weren’t like a brother to me.”

  Simon blinked and slowly smiled. “You would?”

  “Yeah, and I’m sure I’m not the only one. You shouldn’t care about what most of the pack members think, including your parents and your brother. They’re assholes, and you know it. Besides, you’re not the weirdest guy I’ve met by far. You’re cute and sexy and smart, and anyone with half a brain would want you.” And gosh, when had this morning turned into a praise Simon morning?

  Simon sighed. “You’re right. I’m just a bit down because all my friends are pairing up, and I’m still on my own.”

  “You’re only twenty-three. I know how long you guys live, and I think it’s weird that so many of you are finding your mates already. I mean, look at Kameron. He’s a grandpa in my book, and he found Zach only a year ago.”

  “I don’t want to wait until I’m ninety to find my mate!” Simon cried out.

  “I’m sure you’ll find him soon enough. Look at me. I’m human and I really didn’t think there was a shifter out there for me. I was wrong. I could have met Will when I was already old and ugly. You’ll still be beautiful even if you meet yours thirty years from now.”

  “Aww, Mal. You’ll be beautiful fifty years from now too.”

  Mal grinned. “I know. It’ll be because I’ll be mated to Will.”

  Someone kissed the top of Mal’s head and he jumped and turned. “You’d be beautiful even if we didn’t mate,” Will said, smiling down at Mal.

  “Gah. You guys are so sweet,” Simon lamented, but Mal didn’t listen to his complaint. He got up and kissed Will. Will wrapped his arms around Mal’s waist and looked at him, and Mal wanted to lose himself in Will’s eyes.

  A napkin landed on the side of his head and he turned to scowl at Simon. “Stop wasting napkins.”

  “Stop making me want to puke,” Simon answered, but he was smiling.

  Will let go of Mal after kissing his forehead and went to the counter to make himself a cup of tea. Mal sat back at the table, drinking his coffee. Simon leaned forward and asked in a whisper, “Did you do it, then?”

  Mal rolled his eyes. “No. We slept. You saw how tired Will was last night.”

  “What are you waiting for? It’s been two w
eeks already!”

  “Not everyone wants to have sex right away.”

  Mal could see Will’s shoulders shaking and he knew his boyfriend was laughing. He didn’t intervene to save Mal from Simon’s claws, though, and Mal promised himself he’d make Will pay later.

  “I don’t believe that,” Simon answered. He sneaked a peek toward Will. “I mean, Will’s hot. Look at that ass. I know he usually keeps it hidden under those dress pants he wears to work, but damn.”

  Mal growled in a very good imitation of a shifter, or at least he thought it was. “Don’t look at Will’s ass.”

  Simon smirked. “Fine, but you can’t tell me you don’t want to touch it, or to stroke those biceps, or maybe to squeeze that—”

  Mal leaned over the table and slapped a hand on Simon’s mouth. “Stop it.”

  Simon nodded and Mal slowly leaned against his chair again, keeping his eyes on Simon. Simon looked at him and waited for him to sit again to talk. “Fine, but I don’t get it.”

  Mal looked at Will, who was taking an awfully long time to make a cup of tea. He couldn’t deny he did want to have sex with Will. He was a healthy twenty-four year-old sexual human being. He liked sex. Well, he’d liked sex before Paul, and he didn’t think that had changed. The bad part of sex with Paul had been Paul, and Mal was pretty sure any kind of sex with Will would be awesome. He wondered if Will’s calmness and reservation were present during sex or if he went wild in bed.

  Will finally turned, and Mal found himself eying his crotch. He hurriedly looked down, but the quiet laughter that came from Will told Mal his boyfriend had seen him. Will sat next to Mal and sipped his tea while Simon stared at him.

  “It’s... nice to know you think I have a nice ass, Simon,” Will finally said, and Simon choked on his coffee.

  Mal grinned and handed him the napkin he’d thrown earlier. Simon glared and wiped his mouth. “Yeah, well. I’m not blind, and I’m very single. You can’t blame me for looking.”

  Will was so damn cute when he blushed, and Mal wanted to drag him upstairs and have his way with him. Did Will top or bottom? Mmm, maybe it was time they had this conversation.