Lost Without You

by Heather Thurmeier

  Chip had compared their files extensively. They didn’t live in the same town, they hadn’t gone to college together, and they didn’t seem to have any friends or family in common either. So how did they know each other? He’d been worried at first that they were exes, but that didn’t seem to be the case. Or if they were, they’d kept their relationship hidden.

  The only unusual thing he’d come across tonight was the lack of information concerning Zoe previous to her accident. It was as if she didn’t exist before that moment, but she’d been fourteen when it happened. Weird. Or maybe not weird. How much of a paper trail did a fourteen-year-old girl have?

  Chip yawned, too tired to try and wrap his brain around the mystery of Zoe and Alex any longer. Maybe after he’d had some sleep he’d feel up to tackling that issue again. For now, he was happy he’d been able to figure out a way to hopefully send Rick and his team home.

  • • •

  Zoe paced inside her tent.

  Yesterday had been one giant ball of messiness. Not only had Alex given her a rough time, but Rick had flirted with her, Chip had gotten jealous, and then he’d kissed her.

  Hot damn. That kiss.

  She wanted to forget about it. She wanted to push it from her brain. But instead, the memory of that kiss infiltrated her every waking thought.

  She had wanted to give herself to him so badly in that moment, completely swept away by the man who could kiss her like she was the only woman in the universe. And she’d thought that was all it was, a moment of being swept away.

  But then she’d come back to camp and locked herself in her tent all night except for quick trips to the bathroom and kitchen tents, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t get that kiss to leave her alone. It wasn’t as if she was caught up in the moment anymore either. Nope. Chip was inside her head, under her skin, and quickly burrowing his way into her heart.

  She had to put a stop to it.

  “You can’t let that happen again,” she scolded herself. “You can’t be with Chip like that. He’s a threat to your well-being and you can’t let your guard slip with him.”

  Except just the thought of slipping into Chip’s arms again was enough to make her feel weak-kneed. He made her feel something different than she’d felt before. Sure there was the lusty element to her feelings. Who wouldn’t want to be with a man who could kiss like Chip? But there was more to it than that.

  When she was in his arms, when he kissed her, she felt … whole.

  “That was so much more than a kiss.” She sighed. It couldn’t be more than a silly kiss. She couldn’t let it be more.

  Zoe heard a noise outside of her tent and twisted quickly in the direction it came from. She still wasn’t used to the noises that seemed to be everywhere out here in the wilderness. As she turned, her toes connected with the bottom leg of her cot. Pain shot through her toes and into her foot.

  “Ouch. Damn it,” she said, squatting down to inspect the damage. Aside from some redness where her toes connected with the metal, there didn’t seem to be too much to worry about. “That’s what I get for daydreaming about a kiss when I should have been doing something more productive, like paying attention to my appendages.”

  “You alright in there, Zoe? Do you need me to get the medic?” Chip’s voice came through the tent loud and clear and it wasn’t even raised.

  Damn it.

  How could she be so stupid? Why couldn’t she remember she was in a flimsy tent and not a hotel room with solid walls? If Chip was standing outside her tent when she’d hurt herself and had been close enough to hear her say ouch, then he’d also been close enough to hear her talk about that kiss with him.

  Great. Just fricken great.

  “I’m fine,” she said, her voice shaky knowing that he’d heard her every word. “Just stubbed my toe, nothing to worry about or call the medic for.”

  “Can I come in and have a quick look at it to make sure you’re fine? I, uh … ” He paused. “I promise I won’t kiss you since you don’t need more things to daydream about.”

  Even without seeing his face, she could hear the joking tone in his voice and knew instantly he had indeed overheard everything she’d said about kissing him. And he seemed pretty damn happy with himself about the whole thing too.

  “Thanks, but I’m fine.” She pressed her lips into a tight line in an effort to resist saying anything else. Who knew what she’d say to dig her hole even deeper. Best to keep quiet.

  “If you’re sure. I’m calling a production meeting in ten minutes in the kitchen tent. Do you think you can make it there safely yourself, or would you like me to wait around and help you? I can’t have my host breaking anything important while we’re filming.”

  Zoe rolled her eyes. “I’ll be there with all my pieces intact.”

  “Great. See you in a few.”

  Zoe held her breath, listening carefully for his footsteps to retreat away from her tent. When she was sure he’d left, she let out a long, slow breath.

  Way to go. I’m going to keep my mouth shut from now on.

  Deciding that maybe it was better to give her toes some rest after their near death experience, she slipped on her sneakers, which one of the production assistants had returned to her. She took one more peek into her mirror to check her makeup and hair and then left her tent to attend Chip’s spontaneous production meeting. Hopefully he wouldn’t comment on anything relating to her — or even look directly at her. If he did, she was liable to faint from embarrassment and that wasn’t something she wanted to explain to the other production people.

  A hush fell over the kitchen tent as Chip stepped in front of everyone. He looked less put together than usual and she could even make out dark bags beneath his eyes as if he’d pulled an all nighter. But why would he? Surely they didn’t edit together the segments for the show until they got back to the land of civilization.

  “Good morning. I’ll keep this nice and short. This afternoon, many of us will be leaving base camp for the remainder of the week. I’ll need each of you to pack a bag of essentials bearing in mind you will have to hike with this bag. So please think carefully about what you take with you. We will meet the teams at a new location.”

  “Zoe.” He turned to face her directly and she felt her cheeks blush. “I’ll need you to visit each of the camps this morning and give them some instructions and a map to our new location. Your usual cameraman Bill will accompany you to film but I’m afraid I will not be able to tag along today as I need to secure things here. Do you think you’ll be alright getting to the various camps and back here in time to pack a few things?”

  He cocked an eyebrow at her and she had the urge to pull attitude on him. He was implying she wasn’t capable after her stubbed toe incident this morning. He was trying to tease her right here in front of everyone.

  “I’ll be fine, thanks.” She managed to reply without attitude in her voice, a rather large feat given the circumstances. He couldn’t resist teasing her at every opportunity, could he?

  “Great.” He turned back to face everyone as if he’d done nothing wrong. Technically he hadn’t, but it didn’t feel that way to her. “We’ll be out of base camp until we send the next team home in a few days, so make sure you take the things you need. It won’t be easy to return to camp if you forget something. And you don’t need to worry about bringing food or water or any other supplies like that. That will all be taken care of. You only need to worry about your personal things. Are there any questions?”

  When no one spoke up, he continued. “Great. Get packing. We leave camp at two this afternoon and that should give us plenty of time to set up once we arrive at the new site.”

  The crowd started to wander away when Chip shouted, startling Zoe enough that she jumped.

  “Wait. One more thing I almost forgot. Make sure you get cleaned up b
efore we go. The new location is very remote and we will not be able to bring our luxurious bathroom setup with us. This is your last chance for a shower for a few days so use your time wisely.”

  The production people grumbled as they wandered out of the tent, many of them commenting about fitting in time to shower and pack. Zoe was thankful she’d gotten up early this morning and had already showered. That would save her the inevitable traffic jam the shower tents would see in a few minutes.

  It didn’t leave her any additional relaxation time though since she had to trek to each of the contestants’ camps to hand out maps. She’d have to hurry if she wanted any time to think about what she needed to pack.

  • • •

  After collecting the specific instructions and the maps from Chip, Zoe had set out immediately for the contestant camps. She’d managed to snag a granola bar and a bottle of water for the trip so at least she was being efficient and eating breakfast along the way.

  The first three camp visits had gone relatively easy. The contestants seemed more excited than she’d expected to have a new location to call home for a few days. And they were more than a little thrilled to have new people to talk to during their time at the new camp too. Zoe wasn’t surprised. Even with the large crew on this production, seeing the same faces everyday at base camp got a little boring.

  Zoe got to the last camp as they were cleaning up their breakfast dishes. What they’d eaten, she had no idea. Possibly some of the rice they’d won at the first reward challenge. Or who knew what else they might have been able to scrounge together from the woods. Regardless, it smelled peculiar and threatened to turn her stomach. She vowed to make this the quickest stop.

  “Hey, baby. You’re finally coming to visit me?” Rick grinned. “Good thing I finished my breakfast. Now I’ve got lots of energy to spend on you, if you catch my meaning.”

  “I do, and I’m not here for that.” Zoe called out to the other members of his team, motioning for them to join Rick. “I’m only here for a moment to pass on a production message. Seems we’re moving to a new camp for the week. You’re to pack up some of your things and follow this map to the new location. You won’t return here until after the elimination challenge, if you survive it. Any questions?”

  “When do we need to be at the new camp?” Pam asked.

  “Late this afternoon or early this evening so you have enough time to get settled before dark. Any other questions?”

  “Are we going to be out there alone again, like here?” Todd asked, looking nervously between Zoe and his parents.

  “No. The production crew and the other contestants will all be staying in the same camp this week.” She smiled to try and reassure Todd that things would be fine. Truth be told, she was just as nervous about the new living arrangements as he seemed to be. She’d have to be even more careful to maintain her appearance with all those extra people around. And the lack of an even limited bathroom setup like they had back at production camp wouldn’t make her job of looking the part any easier. “Okay then, follow the map and I’ll see you all at the new camp tonight.”

  Zoe turned to walk back to base camp. Rick fell into step beside her.

  “What’s up, Rick?” she asked, looking down at the trail instead of at Rick. This first section was really rough and she didn’t want to risk stumbling as she hurried back to her own camp to get packed up.

  “You didn’t let me ask my question.”

  “Oh, sorry. I didn’t realize you had one.” She stopped on the trail and turned to Rick, wanting to be professional. “What was your question? I’ll do my best to answer it.”

  “Since the production team is staying in the same camp as us, I’m hoping you might stop in and keep my tent warm each night this week.” He cocked an eyebrow.

  Zoe folded her arms across her chest. “That wasn’t a question.”

  “No, but I’d still like to know the answer.”

  “Listen, Rick, you’re cute in an outdoorsy kind of way and all, but crew and contestants really shouldn’t be fooling around. I don’t think Chip would like it very much if he knew you were inviting me into your tent tonight. So maybe let’s try to keep the flirting to a minimum from now on, okay?”

  She hadn’t planned on ending her little flirtatious thing with Rick, but hearing him hit on her again after everything going on — or not going on — with Chip, made her suddenly less interested in flirting with him more. It probably wasn’t smart to use him as a distraction and lead him on.

  “Screw Chip. I don’t care what he says. You can’t stop people from being together if they want to be.” He pulled her close, his arms snaking around her waist, dangerously close to touching her ass. “And I know you want to be with me, baby.”

  Zoe pressed her hands to his chest to push him away but before she could, his lips were on hers, his tongue forcing its way into her mouth. She mumbled an expletive against his mouth but he must have taken it as something else because it seemed to encourage his exploration of her further. His hands traveled south, grabbing her ass in both palms, pressing her against him. His expected outcome for this meeting was suddenly clear as his hardened length pressed into her.

  She gave him a hard shove and he took a step back, his eyes droopy with desire she didn’t reciprocate.

  “If you can’t wait until tonight in my tent, we can find a cozy place right here, baby.”

  She shook her head and took a few steps down the path, away from Rick. “No. I’m not interested. Not now, not tonight.”

  He looked confused. “Are you playing hard to get all of a sudden? ’Cause I like a challenge.”

  “I’m not playing hard to get. You’re just not getting me. Period. I’m sorry if you thought maybe I wanted something from you, but I don’t.”

  She had led him on, flirting with him and laughing at his sexual invitations. But that kiss hadn’t sparked anything inside of her.

  Not like the kisses she’d had with Chip, which had made her melt like candle wax in the desert. No, any question she’d had about flirting with Rick as a distraction for Chip was instantly thrown out the window the second Rick’s lips landed on hers. His kiss did nothing for her.

  “Is this because of that producer? Did he beat me to it? Has he already been in your pants?” Rick shook his head. “That dog.”

  Zoe’s annoyance spiked. “No, he hasn’t been in my pants! Jeez, could you be a little more crass? I’m not interested. Got it?”

  She didn’t wait for him to reply. His reply could end up being another unwanted kiss. Instead, she hurried down the trail without a second thought to Rick. She’d been wrong to flirt with him before. She knew that now. Not only was she the host for the show, but he also didn’t hold an ounce of the attraction she felt toward Chip.

  The last thing she needed right now was another man making her life more difficult, so putting an end to the flirting with Rick was the best choice. Then she’d just have to avoid Alex’s suspicions and somehow not fall any harder for Chip than she already had.

  That should be easy enough.

  Chapter Twelve

  Chip finished packing the last of the extra things he needed into his backpack before shouldering it and leaving his tent. Of course he probably wouldn’t need the condoms or his book since getting free time for either activity was unlikely, but he always wanted to think positively.

  He had just enough time to pop over to the kitchen supply tent and grab an extra box of protein bars in case the production crew forgot to bring them. He could live without many things in the wild, but protein bars wasn’t one of them.

  Flipping open one of the chests they used for storage, he rummaged around until he found the box of chocolate, caffeinated goodness he liked best and slammed the lid back down into place securely. A few crewmembers were staying behind to monitor the camp, but you couldn’t be too careful
. There were a lot of animals in the area and not all of them were friendly or harmless and he didn’t want the smell of food to attract any unwelcome visitors.

  “How’s it going, boss? Do I have time to grab a snack for the road before we head out?” Cam asked. He had his backpack on one shoulder and his production equipment case gripped tightly in one hand.

  “As long as you’re quick,” Chip replied, shoving the box of protein bars into his bag and replacing it on his shoulder.

  “Hey, what’s with the change of schedule? I thought we weren’t doing this one until week three.”

  Chip nodded. “I figured we needed to mix it up a little bit sooner rather than later. Keep things interesting for the contestants and for the viewers once the show airs. What better way to do that than to stick all the contestants together in a camp that they have to build from scratch?”

  Cam took a bit of granola bar and spoke around the food in his mouth. “Good call. Although I think the viewers are already going to have their hands on their remotes to record the show after what happened today with Rick and Zoe.”

  Chip froze at the doorway to the tent. Adrenaline spiked in his veins. What had Rick done? He clenched his jaw until it ached.

  Breathe. Stay calm.

  “Oh yeah? Why’s that?” he asked, trying to sound casual about the whole thing.

  “I’m surprised you didn’t hear already.” Cam shrugged. “Seems the cameraman for camp two was coming back from a bathroom pit stop and found Zoe and Rick off on the trail in a pretty intense lip lock. Good thing he had his camera with him to capture some of that action, hey boss? You would have killed him if he’d missed it.”

  Chip forced a smile to his lips. “You’re right. I would have killed him for missing that. Was Jackson the one on shift for camp two today? I’d like to check out that juicy footage tonight once we get to the new campsite.”

  “He was. Ah crap. I think I forgot a few things in my tent. I’m gonna grab them quick and meet you by the fire pits. Don’t leave without me or I’ll never find my way to that new camp.”