Body, Ink, and Soul

by Jude Ouvrard

  I sat in my feature writing class, I was staring at the teacher but my head was with Lev. I knew it was wrong, because I couldn't afford to fail this class. My mother had always expected good grades from me. Even at my age, university didn't stop her from keeping a close eye on my studies. She would congratulate me when I was doing great, but she would also be furious if I wasn't. She had controlled my life in every aspect.

  All of a sudden, thinking about my mother reminded me of how important the day was for Levi. It was his mother’s anniversary. How could I have forgotten? I should have stayed with him. I couldn't believe I’d forgotten about it and sitting in class while he was walking to work alone made me feel terribly sad. I wanted to make him feel better. He must miss her so much. I was the worst girlfriend in the world. He opened up to me, he poured his whole heart out and not even twenty-four hours later, I couldn't even remember something of such importance. I hated myself. Maybe he had some kind of ceremony with his father, I had no clue. There was no way I could get out of class, leaving the class while the teacher was talking about how to market freelance manuscripts was just plain rude. My only solution was to wait until after class, and talk to my angel. No doubt, these two hours were going to be the longest ever.

  Sending text message was the only way to reach him and I still had to be discreet about it as I was sitting in the middle of a classroom. I put the phone on mute mode and starting typing a message to my love.

  Levi, forgive me for forgetting how important today is. Do you want me to meet you somewhere? Do you have any plans with your father? I'm sorry I didn't think of it earlier. I love you. Nix, your Rock Star. xox

  As I waited for his response, I tried to concentrate on the class. I couldn't manage it. The teacher was talking and talking, I was lost and the other students seemed just as lost. Marketing wasn't something I was particularly interested in and it bored me to death.

  I felt the vibration of the phone on my notebook, and when I glanced down, there it was; his reply. Don't worry about it. I'm having lunch with my father and later, we’re going to the cemetery. I’ll meet you at the apartment after school. I love you. Angel.

  His message seemed a bit cold. No kisses, no little star. I hoped he was okay. At least he got to spend time with his father. Mr. Monroe worked a lot of hours and had little time for Levi. I hadn’t even had the chance to meet him yet. My phone vibrated again and when I looked, I saw that he’d sent me three kisses. I had a big grin on my face which I desperately tried to hide. There was no doubt about it, I was madly in love.

  The class finally ended, after I’d taken two full pages of notes. Hoping I could get something out of them. My concentration had failed me today, my mind was everywhere but in the class. I was tempted to call and join Levi but I figured maybe he needed time with his father. I went into the cafeteria to eat lunch, discovering Bekka was already there. We were studying two different programs and had no classes together. Lunch was the only time of the day where we managed to get together.

  "Hey Bek," I said, and the words came out flat, practically expressionless.

  "Nix, you look like your cat just died," Bekka pointed out.

  I frowned. "I don't even have a cat."

  "What’s the matter then?" She smiled.

  "Today is the anniversary of Levi’s mother’s death. He mentioned it yesterday, but this morning, I completely forgot about it. We texted and he has plans with his father, but I wish I could be with him, you know?"

  "You’ll see him soon. Don't worry so much, he’s a big boy." I knew she was right, but I still wished I could have been there for Levi.

  "Yeah, I understand." He’d been there for me when everything happened with my mom, I just wanted to be with him, show him the same support.

  "Smile now. Life is beautiful. Plenty of love, kisses and sex."

  I choked on my drink and spat some on the floor. The grape juice I’d been drinking came out of my nose. That was quite the quote from Bekka. Everybody around us was staring at us. I had napkins all over my face and the juice burned the inside of nose. I was laughing, but I was also in pain. I cleaned my face, laughing for at least five minutes and then went back to eating my chicken salad sandwich.

  I told Bekka about Las Vegas and she admitted she was jealous. She had always wanted to go to Vegas. Celine Dion, The Strip, the MGM hotel - she mentioned everything she thought I would see. I honestly hadn't thought about any of this, the only thing which mattered to me was to be with Levi. A weekend away from home would be like our road trip. He told me he would be working most of the day, but I would still be with him and that was all I needed.

  Bekka was still at school, her classes ran an hour longer than mine. I expected Lev to be home, since he’d left early this morning. The door was locked when I got home and when I set foot inside, all the lights were off. He wasn't home and I didn't like it, he had me worried. I turned on the light in the hall and walked down to our empty room.

  The only thing I could do was call him, but for some reason, the idea made me nervous. I dialled his number and hoped he would answer on the second ring like he normally did. He didn't and my heart rate tripled. Something was wrong, I could sense it. My hands were shaking and I knew that if he didn't pick up, I would end up with his voice mail.

  He finally picked up the phone. I knew he was on the line, but it was as if I was on stand-by while he was talking to someone else.

  "Ky, gimme my fucking phone back. She’s my girl, not yours."

  "You are so stupid, Monroe. Just sit there, I’ll talk to her." I heard a door open and close. “Nix, are you there?"

  "What's going on Kyle?" I didn't know what was happening but I was desperately worried.

  "Your boyfriend is fucking drunk." He laughed, obviously amused. "I don't think he can walk home, but he can't stay here at the shop. He’s either going to hurl his guts up or walk right in front of a moving car."

  Drunk? His day must have been painful. Dammit, I should have been there with him. I hated myself, knowing I should have left school to spend the day with him.

  "I’ll call Tyler to pick him up. I'll ask him if he can go now." I hung up the phone with a lump in my throat. I’d never seen him drunk, not once at the club or during our trip. I knew he’d had a shitty day.

  He needed me.

  Now.

  Chapter Twenty

  Almost an hour later, Tyler walked in with a very drunk Levi. He was so out of it, he could barely stand, let alone walk. When he saw me, shame was written all over his face. He apparently didn't want me to see him like this.

  "Tyler, I told you..." he hiccoughed, "to drop me at the condo. Why the fuck did you bring me here?"

  "Shit Levi, how many bottles of JD did you drink today? You sold your condo a year ago, you idiot." Tyler grumbled.

  Levi started laughing, but he was so pathetically drunk I couldn't even laugh with him. I was worried sick and I felt desperately sorry for him. His eyes were so sad and empty. I didn't like seeing him like this.

  "Where do you want him, Nix? I don't think he’ll be moving much after I drop him." According to Ty, Levi was about to pass out.

  "The bedroom, please." Tyler knew where our bedroom was and I followed them down the hall. Levi tripped over my shoes and fell face first onto the bed, his knees hitting the floor, and his face rebounding on the comforter. Tyler tried to pull him up onto the bed but he was too heavy and already snoring loudly.

  "You can try to get him in the bed if you want, but I think this is the best we can do. He’ll eventually wake up and get his ass on the mattress." Tyler said.

  "I feel bad leaving him like this, but he seems comfortable enough." I wanted to laugh, but looking at him and knowing the reasons why he’d gotten himself so drunk hurt. Tyler left the room, and I glanced at Lev one last time before I walked out and closed the door behind me.

  Tyler had to get back to the club, he was waiting for a delivery. Bekka had stayed at the club while he brought Levi home. The apartment fe
lt terribly cold and quiet, so I turned on the TV and watched a haunted house show. It was one of those shows which was supposed to give me the creeps, but I couldn't get enough of it.

  Just as the show was about to get good, I heard noises from the bedroom so I ran down the hall and opened the door silently. He’d moved, he was now laying on the bed, almost butt naked. He’d tried to remove his jeans but had failed, only managing to pull them and his boxers down around his ankles. I chuckled quietly and grabbed the door handle to shut it again when I heard him mumbling something incoherently. I stayed there, uncertain if he would wake up, or was talking in his sleep.

  "My mom... she... mom would have loved you." I smiled softly when I finally understood his words. "You... you will be a beautiful mother and... And..." He turned his face on the pillow and stretched his legs out. "...my wife." I had tears in my eyes, threatening to spill down my cheeks. "Love..." He coughed. "My Rock Star."

  I waited for more, but all that followed was the sound of him snoring loudly. “I love you too, Angel." I pulled the door quietly closed and went back to the living room.

  I was alone for dinner. I made mac and cheese and ate it with a glass of white wine. It was a bit of a waste of wine with such a simple meal, but they tasted good together.

  I didn't know if I should leave for work or not, but Levi had been snoring for two hours now. He was obviously sleeping it off. There was no sign of him being in any danger or that he was about to get sick, so I left him a note on the pillow and went to work.

  Levi,

  I hope you’re feeling as good as can be expected. I'm working tonight. Call me when you wake up. I'm worried about you.

  Love you,

  Rock Star.

  xxx

  I worked Monday night, went to school and worked on Tuesday night. Bekka and I met for lunch Wednesday. I tried to keep myself busy. Levi who’d been busy and distant most of the week because of all the planning required for the convention. My clothes were already packed and I was trying to get all my homework done prior to our departure. Another adventure awaited us and I was very excited.

  Since his mother’s anniversary, Angel had been sad and silent most of the time. I didn't ask questions because I knew it was related to his Mom’s death, but whenever we were sitting in front of the TV, he no longer laughed while watching things like Big Bang Theory. His eyes were on the TV, but his mind seemed to be far away. I even played guitar and sang his favorite songs, but his eyes were filled with a sea of tears which he held back. According to Tyler, the same thing happened every year, and Lev just needed some time. He insisted Levi would be fine by the weekend. I wondered if he really want to go to the convention. Maybe what he needed was a quiet weekend at home to relax. I didn't know anymore. He was normally so full of life, it wasn't like him to be so silent and morose.

  At the club on Wednesday night, he drank a beer with Tyler. I saw them talking together and judging from the expressions on their faces, it seemed serious. He gave Ty a man hug when they’d finished and walked over to me, pressing a brief kiss against my lips before he went back to the shop. He was already asleep when I got home. I slid under the warm comforter beside him and slipped my legs between his. He reached for me and pulled me against his chest. There was no other place I wanted to be.

  Thursday morning, he walked me to school and bought us French vanilla flavoured coffee and an almond croissant along the way. His smile was back, not as bright as usual, but a lot better than I’d seen in the previous days. It was heartwarming to see a tiny smile and his beautiful green eyes looking alive. I smiled to myself, hoping this was a turning point for him.

  "Rock Star, why are you smiling so much this morning?" he asked, sounding amused.

  "Because I love seeing your smile and I’ve missed it. I'm glad today seems better for you." We hadn't talked about his emotions much in the past few days but I was certain he knew what I meant.

  "I’m feeling better. I love you, Phoenix Silverstone, and I can't wait to spend the weekend with you."

  "Me too. It will be fun for me though, and a lot of work for you."

  "Yeah, you got that right. It will be fun though, for both of us. We’ll meet new people and take it easy at night."

  "Yeah? Not exactly what I had planned," I teased.

  He raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah, we’ll have plenty of time for this." He slid his hand inside the back pocket of my jeans and gave my behind a gentle squeeze.

  We made it to the university and the only thing I had on my mind was returning home and fooling around with Levi. It seemed like I hadn't seen his body or his tattoos in a long time. The sad reality was that I had less than ten minutes of freedom before the beginning of my class.

  Levi’s arm enveloped me in a hug, my cheek resting against his beating heart. I took few seconds to indulge in being held against him. I was about to tell him how much I loved him when we were distracted by a bunch of noisy students.

  Before leaving him to go to my morning class, we kissed and share some ‘I love you’s’. I enjoyed these moments with him. Simple, but so real and romantic.

  My day flew by compared to the other days in the week. My boyfriend was back and we were leaving tomorrow. I was excited and impatient to get there.

  The flight went well and the landing was smooth. We were in Las Vegas! We were both excited and anxious to see the hotel room booked by Levi in one of the top hotels. We grabbed a taxi and the trunk was nearly full with Levi’s equipment.

  The first night was ours to enjoy together. We ordered room service, then decided to take a walk on The Strip after dinner. The sky had darkened since we arrived and it was much more impressive at night with all the lights blazing. I had my camera ready, I wanted to take tons of picture as Bekka had begged me to.

  The MGM Grand, the Bellagio, the Luxor and Circus Circus, I couldn't believe that I was really here and seeing them in real life.

  "Star, calm down a little. We’re almost running, baby, we have plenty of time to enjoy the sights."

  "Angel, I'm freaking. This is Vegas, where all the casinos are, where people get married by Elvis, it's magic! I can't calm down. I'm so freaking thrilled to be here with you."

  "Please, tell me you don't want to get married by Elvis tonight?" He raised an eyebrow at me.

  "Silly, of course not. We aren’t even engaged yet. Beside, Bekka and Val would kill me."

  "I wouldn't let them."

  "Levi." I looked up at him, he was so serious. Our eyes met and we stared at one another. Words were spoken without any sound. I knew what was going to happen and I was ecstatic. I could hardly believe any of it.

  "I love you, Rock Star, I love you so much. I'm sorry I was keeping to myself this past week. I was thinking and going through stuff in my head, and I realized that I can't just be your boyfriend anymore." He paused, for a second, brushing a hand across my cheek. “I want more, Nix. I want to be your everything because that’s what you are to me, my everything."

  I was speechless, I couldn't think of a thing to say. "Angel," I murmured.

  He pressed his lips against mine. "Let me finish, baby. I know you’re still so young and still going to university and you want to be done with it before we move out on our own, but I think this is something you want too. Not now, but soon, will you be my wife? Will you be the one I get to share my life with?"

  "You’re crazy, Levi." I kissed him passionately, right in the middle of The Strip. "Yes, yes, I will marry you, Levi Monroe, because you are abso-freaking-lutely perfect."

  We continued kissing, my whole body trembling with emotion. I felt something cool being slid onto my finger. He had just given me a ring. I looked and I knew instinctively, without him telling me, it was his mother’s ring.

  "It's beautiful."

  "It's my Mom’s ring. The one my father gave her when he proposed, but I’ve had it remade with white gold and kept the original diamond. I hope you like it." He ran a nervous hand through his hair.

  "I don't just
like it, Levi. It's perfect, just like you, and I love it."

  I suddenly noticed the people around us were staring. Some were filming us on their cell phones and a few were even wiping their eyes with tissues. I blushed ten shades of crimson and hid my face against Levi's chest. This trip had turned out to be way better than I had planned.

  We walked hand in hand and we both had an unstoppable smile on our faces. I’d never doubted his love for me, but wearing his precious diamond on my finger transformed the feelings into something I couldn't quite explain. My love for him was infinite, indestructible and inescapable. It was so powerful and strong that I almost breathed love.

  "You make me the happiest girl in the world, do you understand that? I never expected you to do what you just did and yet, I love you so much for doing it. I will be the best fiancée I can be." I promised him.

  "Don't change anything, Star, I proposed to you because you already are the best person for me."

  "When I think you can’t get any cuter, you prove me wrong."

  We both laughed and stopped to watch the spectacle outside the Bellagio. The fountain of water was grandiose, but it still dimmed in comparison to my love for my fiancé.

  After doing the touristy thing for over two hours, my legs were tired and I was hungry for junk food. I wanted a greasy, cheesy pizza. The excitement of the evening was playing games with my stomach. The proposal butterflies had transformed into hunger cravings.

  We stopped in a small diner and ordered my 100% pure fat snack. While we waited, I was desperate to share the news with the girls, but I didn't want to ruin our special moment. I was checking my phone surreptitiously and trying to think of a good excuse to call Bekka. Lev rolled his eyes, picked up the phone and dialled a number, then put it on speaker and placed it back on the table.

  "Nix, is everything okay?" I recognized Bekka but Levi pressed a finger to my lips, so he could speak first.