Heartbreaker

by Sparling, Amy

  “Yep. Are you cool with that?”

  “I’m totally cool with that.”

  I can hear the smile in his voice as he says, “Awesome.”

  #

  The next day at school is pretty normal. I still don’t run into Jaxon, but we have a date tonight, so I try not to care too much about not seeing him. Jacie agrees that today is our official Day One since it’s our first date. She doesn’t think the Taco Bell lunch was the first day since he didn’t have my number and didn’t talk to me at all between then and now. I grudgingly have to agree with her, but that’s fine. Thirty days will totally fly by.

  Jaxon arrives at my house at exactly six-thirty. He even gets out and walks up to my door, which makes me feel a little guilty because he’s a total gentleman. The kind of guy who doesn’t seem to exist among high school boys anymore.

  My parents went out to dinner so luckily, I avoid the awkwardness of introducing him to them. We walk down to his car and he opens the door for me.

  “Okay, you are totally not like most guys,” I say as I sit down.

  He winks at me as he closes the door. I survey the inside of his car as he walks over to the driver’s side. It’s pretty clean. There’s a dog leash in the back seat and an air freshener hanging from the rear view mirror.

  “You look really cute,” he says as he starts the car. “I know guys always say that on first dates, but I really mean it.”

  I blush from head to toe, and change the subject in an effort to stop the blood from gushing to my cheeks. “Do you have a dog?”

  I motion toward the leash in the back seat.

  “I wish. I’ve spent my whole life wishing I had a Golden Retriever.” He frowns while he drives. “But I walk dogs for a few of my neighbors, so that’s the leash I use.”

  “Why don’t you get a Golden Retriever?” I ask.

  He shrugs. “I only want a shelter dog, and it’s nearly impossible to find a Golden in a shelter, especially as a puppy. I’ve wanted a dog for years and my mom always said no because she cares about her furniture too much.” He rolls his eyes. “But now that my little brother is ten, he finally convinced her to get a dog, but she said only a Golden Retriever. No other breed.”

  He looks over and me and shrugs. “My mom is weird.”

  “You’ll find one soon,” I say.

  He nods. “I hope so. Dogs are the best.”

  “Are you going to college to be a vet?” I ask.

  He grins. “How’d you know?”

  The way he smiles at me sends a tingle down to my toes. He’s more than just cute. He’s genuine. As we talk, I keep finding more things I like about him.

  “Enough about me,” he says as we pull into a parking spot at the theater. “Tell me about you.”

  “I’m kind of boring,” I say as we walk up to the box office.

  “Do you have any hobbies?”

  “I’m a songwriter.”

  He looks impressed. “That’s awesome. Do you play any instruments?”

  “The guitar… but I’m not very good at it.”

  “That’s still pretty awesome.” He orders two tickets to the movie. I stand here feeling about two inches tall after mentioning my guitar. I hadn’t even thought about that stupid bet until now, when I mentioned the songwriting. Now it’s all I can think about.

  It’s funny because dating Jaxon started out as a means to get Jacie’s amazing guitar, but now that I’m on an official date with him, he’s so sweet and cute and fun to be with that I hadn’t even thought of the stupid bet.

  I feel terrible.

  We head into the movies and Jaxon tells me to order anything I want for dinner. I try to say I’ll pay for my food, but he refuses and gives me that cute smile of his and says, “We’re on a date, Mae. It’s my pleasure.”

  I just about melt right there.

  The theater is awesome. We sit in individual couches that only hold two people and there’s swivel trays in front of us. The waiter wears all black and quietly moves down the aisles, bringing us food and drink refills while the movie plays on the big screen. It’s really cool and the food is amazing.

  After the movie, it’s a little cold outside, and Jaxon throws his arm around my shoulders as we walk back to the car. “I should have thought to bring a jacket,” he says, rubbing his hand up and down my arm to warm me up.

  “I like being warmed up this way much better than a jacket,” I say.

  A slight pink hits his cheeks as he smiles at me and it feels good knowing I’ve made him blush.

  He opens the car door for me again, and a knot of guilt lands in my stomach. Jacie was right about one thing—Jaxon is a good guy.

  And now I’m realizing something I didn’t think was possible but… I really like him.

  Like, like him.

  Not just as a guy that will get me a guitar, but as a guy I’d like to date for real. Suddenly I’m thinking of every stupid movie I’ve ever watched where someone makes a bet about someone and when they find out the truth, it all comes crashing down and ruins everything. I decide I am not going to let that happen here. If I want to date Jaxon for real, I need to tell him the truth.

  Chapter 7

  I wait until Jaxon pulls up in front of my house to reveal my secret. “I had a really good time,” I say.

  He puts the car in park and looks over at me. “Me too. I hope we can do it again?”

  I nod slowly. It’s now or never. Once I get this out in the open, I’ll have a clear conscious to date Jaxon.

  “Listen…I have something kind of funny to tell you.”

  His head tilts. “What is it?”

  My throat feels dry, but I put on a smile and tell him the truth. “So… my friend has this awesome guitar, and she said she’d give it to me if I did this stupid thing for her.”

  “How stupid?” Jaxon asks. He’s watching me with curiosity.

  I shrug. “It’s really stupid, actually. And it’s funny because I don’t even care about it anymore, and I was going to just drop the bet with her, but I figured I should tell you just in case you ever hear about it later on.”

  He lifts an eyebrow. “It’s about me?”

  “Kind of.”

  His shoulders straighten. “But you just met me.”

  “It’s not about you, you. Look, she made a bet with me that I couldn’t date a guy for thirty whole days, and if I did, she’d give me her guitar.”

  His eyes widen and I talk faster so I can explain it all to him. “But, it was stupid, and after I met you, I really liked you so I was going to tell her that the bet is off and I just want to hang out with you and see where things go.”

  His jaw hardens. “You only flirted with me so you could win a bet.”

  “No!” I say, but he levels a stare at me that makes me feel bad. “Well… kind of. But after I got to know you, I really liked you, so…”

  “I’ve heard enough,” Jaxon says. He looks away, his gaze focusing on something in the distance. “You can go now.”

  “Jaxon,” I plead.

  He reaches over me and opens my door. “Just go,” he says without looking at me.

  “I’m sorry. I thought telling you would be a good idea. Please don’t be mad at me.”

  He starts the car, keeping his eyes focused ahead. “Too late.”

  I step out of the car and turn back, hoping I can still plead with him to forgive me. But the second my feet are on the ground, he puts the car in gear and drives away.

  A million terrible emotions float through me, but one of them is stronger than the rest.

  I deserve this.

  #

  I hope the weekend goes by slowly because I do not want to go back to school. Knowing my luck, even though I never found Jaxon when I wanted to see him, now that I want to avoid him, he’ll probably be everywhere. I am mortified and ashamed.

  I call Jacie and tell her everything that happened. She’s silent for a long time.

  “Hello?” I say. “You still there?”

>   “Yeah…” She exhales slowly. “I just feel really bad for him. I can’t believe you told him.”

  “It seemed like a good idea at the time. I really liked him, Jacie. We had such a great date together and he’s funny and awesome and—” I stare at my wrinkled sheets as I sit on my bed. “I’m such an idiot.”

  “Did you think you could tell him about the bet and he’d still like you?” she asks. “I’m not trying to be mean, Mae, but I wish you’d asked me first because I could have told you that is a very very bad idea.”

  “Why am I so stupid?” I say, drawing out the words in a long whine. I fall back on my bed and close my eyes. “I’m so mad at myself.”

  “I’m sorry, Mae. This is my fault, too. I shouldn’t have made that stupid bet with you.”

  “I’m gonna text him,” I say, putting the phone on speaker. “What should I tell him?”

  “You could apologize?” she suggests. “How mad did he seem last night?”

  “Pretty mad.”

  “Then you’re gonna need a really good apology text,” she says with a sarcastic snort.

  I tell her I’ll call her back later, because I can tell she doesn’t really care about this as much as I do. It’s not her life, after all. It’s mine. And I’ve just ruined things with a guy I actually liked.

  I decide not to think too much about what I’ll say to him, because then it’ll sound rehearsed and fake. So I say what’s in my heart.

  Me: I’m so sorry, Jaxon. I really hope we can still be friends.

  He doesn’t reply. Not for a whole week. My homework is piling up and I’m pretty sure I failed my physics test today, but I don’t care. It’s been an entire week and I haven’t heard from him at all. I also never saw him in school. He’s become a ghost.

  Jacie is annoyed with me for how much I talk about him, and I can’t say I blame her. I stare at my phone and consider sending him another text, but I don’t want to be the crazy girl who dated him on a bet and then texted him too much. But I can’t stop replaying our date in my mind. I think about how good he smelled and how he held open doors and wrapped his arm around me in the chilly night air. That was the best first date I’ve ever had, and yet I ruined it all.

  I grab my songwriting notebook and try to put my thoughts into lyrics. But after an hour, I don’t have anything worthy of calling a song. All of my inspiration must have disappeared when I ruined my chance with Jaxon Rhodes.

  Chapter 8

  A few days later, I’ve finally cracked. I can’t just sit around and wish I was texting him. Clearly, I can’t handle the silence, so I need to text him. I thought I was finally getting over it all, but then I saw him today in lunch.

  I was carrying my tray of food over to my table with Jacie, and he was across the cafeteria, walking with a friend. Our eyes met for a second, and he glanced away. But in that second, I could see a sadness in him, one that mirrored my own emotions.

  I have to talk to him.

  I wait until school is over and I send him a text.

  Me: I hate that you hate me now. I never wanted to hurt you. I just started off doing something stupid and then I wanted to make it right.

  To my utter shock, he replies almost instantly.

  Jaxon: I get it. I do. But I’m the loser who was played, so it’s hard to just bounce back and still be your friend.

  Me: You weren’t played, Jaxon. It’s not like I picked you out of a crowd and decided to hurt you. We met on accident, remember?

  Jaxon: We might have met on accident, but then you tracked me down. Remember?

  I can practically hear the venom in his words. He’s right. I can’t lie my way out of this. I did seek him out after he changed my tire and I tried to date him. I wish I could just get over it, but I can’t. I really liked this guy. Now I’m the fool.

  Me: I am sorry. I hope you believe that. I wanted to keep dating you, but I knew you needed to know the truth. So I guess I ruined everything.

  Jaxon: You don’t get it. It was a game to you. It’s not a game to me.

  Me: What do you mean?

  Jaxon: I’ve liked you for years, Mae. So when you finally liked me back, it was awesome. And then it was all a lie.

  I stare at his message for a long time. I knew he had a crush on me back in junior high, but I guess I thought he’d grown out of it. But if he’s liked me this whole time, then I know why he feels awful now. Still, my intentions aren’t tinged with that stupid bet anymore. I like him and I want a second chance.

  Me: I’m so sorry. I wish we could start over.

  I stare at my phone screen for the next five minutes, waiting for a reply that says he accepts my apology, that he wants to start over, too. But he never says anything back.

  I’ve totally screwed up this time.

  #

  Jacie runs down the hallway, calling my name the next morning. She almost crashes right into me as she skids to a stop and grabs my arm.

  “What is wrong with you?” I say.

  “I have news,” she says, panting. “Good news.”

  “About?”

  She glances around and must decide there’s too many people to overhear us because she whispers, “Jaxon.”

  I pull her into an empty classroom. “Spill.”

  “So I was talking to one of his friends on Snapchat last night. He said Jaxon is like super sad right now because he really liked you. Apparently you’re the only thing on his mind.”

  I sigh. “I don’t know what that even means. He texted me a little bit last night, and I was practically begging for forgiveness and he just ignored me.”

  “He used to get made fun of for being so dorky,” Jacie says. “Now he’s older and totally hot and he still thinks people see him as a nerd.”

  “But I told him I’m sorry.”

  She shrugs. “I wouldn’t give up on him. He still likes you.”

  I let her words keep me company all day. I thought he hated me, but maybe he’s just sad about the whole thing. Maybe I can still change his mind. I just need a really good way to apologize. I’m driving home from school, still thinking up a way to give him a grand gesture—the world’s best apology. I know I can’t write him a song because he probably hates guitars now. So I think about something that would make him happy. And then I get an idea so crazy, it might not work.

  I look up every animal shelter in the state. I set the filter to Golden Retrievers, and like Jaxon had said, it’s nearly impossible to find one that’s not an older dog, or a mixed breed. But only nearly impossible.

  There’s a litter of eight week old Golden Retriever puppies at a shelter three hours away. The website says they arrived yesterday and are going fast.

  I call them and ask about the puppies. The woman on the phone tells me they have three left, and that they’re open until 8:00. It’s only 3:30, so if I leave now, I’ll have plenty of time.

  I tell my parents I’m going to Jacie’s house to study, and then I set a playlist of all my favorite songs and get ready for a very long road trip.

  Three hours later, my legs hurt and I’m sick of driving, but I’m finally here at Happy Paws.

  “Let me guess,” the woman behind the counter says as I walk inside. She’s probably in her thirties and wearing purple scrubs with paw prints on them. “Golden Retriever puppy?”

  I laugh. “How’d you know?”

  “The phone has been ringing off the hook for them.”

  I’m almost afraid to ask. “Are there any left?”

  She smiles. “Just one.”

  “Boy or girl?” I ask, but I know it doesn’t matter. Either one is fine with me.

  “Girl. She’s had her shots and she’s ready to go. Would you like to see her?”

  “Yes, please.”

  The woman disappears into the back and I’m glad I get to wait up here. I came to a dog shelter once as a kid and it nearly killed me at how sad it was to see all those dogs who weren’t adopted yet. I stand around nervously, listening to the sounds of the dogs in
the back, and finally she comes back, holding the cutest little puppy in her arms.

  “Oh my God,” I whisper as she holds the puppy out to me. I take the little ball of fur and clutch her to my chest. The puppy’s tail wags quickly and she licks my cheek.

  “I love her,” I say, as my heart swells with instant affection for this little thing.

  The lady, whose nametag says Diamond, laughs. “She’s a cutie. Do you want to fill out the adoption papers?”

  “Yes, please,” I say, juggling the puppy as she squirms in my arms, trying to lick my face at any angle she can get.

  I happily pay the one hundred dollar adoption fee, and then Diamond gives me a soft blanket for my car. The puppy falls asleep in my passenger seat as soon as we get back on the road. I can’t stop looking over and smiling at her.

  It’s just after nine when I get back home. I am exhausted from the drive, but coming home was much more fun with a little puppy next to me. I park a few driveways down from Jaxon’s house, and take out the stationary I brought with me from home.

  I write: Dear Jaxon, Will you be my human?

  And then I fold the note and attach it to the puppy’s little pink collar I’d purchased at the animal shelter. I wrap her in the blanket and quietly walk up to his front door.

  I’m nervous, and I know there’s a million things that could go wrong, like what if his parents answer the door or something?

  Hiding in the shadows of his porch, I clutch the puppy in one arm and send him a text.

  Me: Do me a favor and check your front door in about thirty seconds.

  I send the message, and then I kiss the puppy on the head, set her down gently, still wrapped up in the blanket so she hopefully won’t run off, and then I run like hell.

  I make it back to my car, and I jump inside. Then I watch. The door opens, and Jaxon looks out at eye level, probably expecting to see me there. But then he looks down, and I can’t see his expression very well but I can tell he’s excited.