by L. E. Bross
“That one’s from Sheila. She said if you weren’t busy later to look her up.”
I glanced over at the blonde who was leaned over a table, passing out drinks. She definitely looked good from this angle, and I appreciated it just like any guy would, but I wasn’t interested. Which should have freaked me out more.
Considering the object of my earlier fantasy was standing right across from me. I vowed to never settle down, yet here I was dreaming up a fucking fairy tale about Tess and me and our life together.
I pushed the full beer back across the bar and grabbed my almost empty one. “Tell her thanks but no thanks.”
“What if I bought it for you?” Tess asked with a flirty grin, sliding the bottle back.
I nearly choked on the last swallow from my own bottle. Jesus, was she saying what I thought she was? I’d spent half a week driving myself crazy about her and now . . . “Hell yeah I’d take it.”
“Good to know,” she said with a smirk.
She disappeared to the other end of the bar again and I finished off the first beer and took the one she’d given me back. I needed to give Stan a raise for dragging me here tonight. Even if all I did was watch Tess work.
She flirted and winked and laughed and every time she did, it was like someone kicked me in the gut. God, I missed seeing her like that. Her confidence was there and it was sexy as hell. Before I knew it, I heard the waitresses giving last-call warnings.
“You need a cab?” Tess asked.
“I got those guys . . .” When I turned, the table that Stan had been sitting at was empty. “What the hell?”
Tess leaned forward. “They took off about a half hour ago. I thought they told you.”
“Shit. Yeah, I guess I do need that cab then.”
Tess pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and stared at me. “I can give you a ride.”
My buzzed brain went there and holy fuck was it a glorious image. I must have smiled because Tess knocked my arm.
“A ride home, you drunk perv.” I was far from drunk, but there was laughter in her voice, so I played it off and wiggled my eyebrows. “I need to clean up here. Give me about ten minutes after the music dies down.”
As if on cue, the music wrapped up and the lights got a little brighter. There was grumbling among the last few guys, but they shuffled out when burly bouncer guy crossed his arms. It took a second to notice that he was staring at me.
“I’m with her,” I said.
He lifted one eyebrow.
“I have no idea what he’s talking about,” Tess said.
Big bouncer guy started toward me and I swung around, my jaw hanging open.
Her eyes were bright and she was smiling like crazy. “On second thought, Jesse, I think I just might take him home.”
Bouncer guy stopped a few feet away from me. Holy fuck, he was huge.
“You sure?” The bouncer seemed surprised. Maybe that was a sign Tess didn’t do things like this often, I thought with an unexpected jolt of relief. Then I gave myself a mental kick. She wasn’t mine to be territorial over.
“He’s an old friend,” she said. “We’re good.”
With a nod, Jesse ambled off toward the front doors.
“Jesus, I thought you were going to throw me under the bus. That dude is fucking scary as shit. I think he must bench-press cars or something.”
Tess laughed again. “He’s good at what he does. Always looking out for the girls. Walks all of us to our cars every night.”
“But first he bench-presses them, right? You can tell me; I won’t give away his secrets.”
Tess shook her head. “You had three beers. Didn’t take you for such a lightweight.”
“I am drunk on you,” I said before I could think.
Her expression sobered, and she stared at me without blinking. “Ten minutes,” she said softly.
I got up to use the bathroom and when I got back out, she was waiting. I took all of her in, from her ponytails to that damned corset that hugged her like second skin to her tight jeans. I wasn’t drunk, not even close, but I wanted to pretend and stumble into her just so I could touch her.
How pathetic is that?
“This way. We park out back.” She led the way and I didn’t complain, given the mouthwatering view I got to enjoy.
The cool night air hit me and I inhaled a deep breath. The lot wasn’t as lit up as the front, and I moved into step next to her without having to think about it. There was a chain-link fence around the small parking lot, but there were too many shadowy places for my liking.
“So bouncer guy walks you to your car? Every night?”
Tess looked at me sideways. “On the nights I work, yes.”
“Okay, good.”
“Do you ever stop?” We were at her car and she pulled out her keys to unlock the door.
“Stop what?”
“Taking care of people?”
I shrugged. No use denying it I guess. “It’s sort of my thing. Superman leaps tall buildings. The Hulk turns green. I’m all about the damsels in distress.” I climbed into the passenger seat next to Tess. The key was in the ignition but she didn’t turn it. Instead, she moved her head to look at me.
“Who takes care of you, then?” Her eyes caught and reflected the light closest to the car, and I could see something I didn’t quite understand in them.
“I’m a big boy, I can take care of myself.”
“I’m sure you can, but you shouldn’t have to.” A small smile danced over her lips before she turned the key and the car purred to life. At the parking lot exit, she stopped the car. “Do you still live there?”
“Yep. You can take the trailer park out of the boy . . .”
I started to tell her which direction to go, but she shot me another smile.
“I remember.” And she made all the right turns to Granite Estates. “Do you mind?” she asked softly as her car rolled past my place.
I knew what she was asking and I shook my head. The silence in the car grew thick.
“I haven’t been back here since . . . well yeah, you know.”
“I know.” There must have been something in my voice, because her wide eyes flew to my face, her gaze sad and filled with something that looked like regret. “Ryan . . .”
I held out my hand. “It’s okay, Tess. It took a while to realize it, but it was for the best. How many people actually get out of here, right? I mean, look at me. Still here after all this time. I’m happy that you’re one of the few.”
Tess laughed, not unkindly, but laughed all the same. What the fuck? Here I was opening up to her, and she was laughing in my face?
“Ryan, please,” she said, still with a giggle in her voice. “Let’s not pretend. You and I both know I’m not one of the lucky few.” The smile in her tone faded. “At least not anymore.” I wanted to press her to tell me more, to just be vulnerable with me for one goddamned second, but she didn’t say anything else and I worried pushing her would just turn her away.
Her car slowed to a stop in front of a white trailer with a faded yellow stripe around its middle. When they lived here, her grandma kept the place looking nice. Flowers surrounded the dented skirt and everything was neat and clean and smelled like lemons.
The people there now didn’t have any flowers planted.
“Wow. Things have really changed. I guess I thought that somehow it would stay the same, you know? When you’re away from it, it’s always like you remember. Why didn’t you leave?”
“Pops didn’t want to, and I can’t just leave him here alone.”
She sighed. “You’re one of the good guys, Ry. You always have been.”
I was about to reach out and take her hand when she exhaled a shuddering breath and put the car into reverse. My head was spinning and my heart pounded against my ribs. Being back here togeth
er was screwing with my mind.
When she pulled the car up to my trailer and cut the engine, it was as if neither one of us wanted to be the first to say a thing. I glanced at her from the corner of my eye and saw her staring at my home.
This place, her place, practically every inch of Granite Estates had a memory that connected us. Everywhere I looked, I saw what used to be. Did she regret driving me home tonight?
“Thanks for the ride,” I finally said, climbing out and walking around to her side of the car. She rolled down the window and I crouched so that I could lean half in.
“I have a feeling you would have been just fine in a cab.”
I couldn’t take my eyes off her and she held my gaze. When she licked her lips I tried not to groan. It had to be the mind-fuck of seeing her back here again. God, she was killing me and didn’t even know it.
“Well, thanks again,” I said, starting to push to standing.
“Ryan . . .”
When I ducked back down, she wrapped her hand around the back of my neck and then she was kissing me softly. At this angle I couldn’t drag her into my arms like I wanted to do, but I could kiss her back.
Like I’d been wanting to do since the moment I saw her.
I ran my tongue over the seam of her lips and when she parted them with a sigh, I sank into her mouth and lost myself. Our tongues dangled and danced and her fingernails dug into the back of my neck. I was two seconds away from dragging her out of the car when she pulled back.
We were both panting like dogs.
Her lips were swollen and glistening in the porch light. I used my fingers to nudge her chin up, then this time I took her mouth. Every inch of my body was on fire, and I slid my hand down to rest on her shoulder. I used my thumb to trace along her collarbone, then lower, over the swell of her breast above that damned corset.
She groaned. I answered. Fuck, but this felt too good. I wanted to pull her out of the car and feel her entire body against me, but that would mean I’d have to stop kissing her.
Finally Tess pulled back with a small sigh.
I leaned my forehead against hers and cupped her jaw.
“I should go,” she whispered.
Everything inside screamed for her to stay.
“Noah’s babysitter will wonder where I am.” I saw the regret shining from her eyes. Did that mean she wanted more of what was happening between us? God, did I? I brushed my lips over hers one last time, then stood up.
She reached out and put her hand over mine. That small touch sent my senses spinning.
“I’ll see you . . .” Hesitation filled her face.
“Definitely,” I answered hoarsely.
“See ya, Ry.”
“’Bye, Tess.”
I stared at the spot where Tess’s taillights disappeared for about five minutes before I went inside. The trailer was dark, and Dad was not sitting up in his recliner kicking back beers and watching late-night TV.
Alarm raced up my spine and I rushed down the hallway. His door was closed and I exhaled before pushing it open. Dad lay in his bed, snoring softly. The piles of clothes were gone, and his room was tidy and clean.
I pulled the door closed, then leaned my forehead against it.
Dad was safe and in bed. I should follow his example, but I was wound tighter than a top. I could take a shower and try to find some relief from the tension in my entire body, but the thought of getting myself off held no appeal.
I wanted Tess.
My gaze landed on the keys now sitting in a clean bowl on a small table by the door. It took all of three seconds to make the decision. Fuck it. Everything was spinning out of control in some fucked-up twilight zone, so why the hell not.
I grabbed the keys to my truck and pushed out of the trailer. I could still taste Tess’s lips and I wanted more.
Much more.
As I drove I practiced what I would say to her. I’d let her know right up front that the physical stuff was all I had to give her. If she wanted some kind of commitment, I couldn’t be that guy. If she wanted relief as badly as I did, we’d be good.
When I pulled into her parking lot and killed the engine, I looked up at her darkened window and realized what an asshat I was being.
I must have sat there for another ten minutes, not ready to admit defeat, when I saw a light flicker through the blinds in her window. I was up and out of my truck in three seconds flat. That was my goddamned sign and I was taking it.
I took the stairs two at a time and stood in front of her door.
It was almost two in the morning; I had to get up in about three hours, and I was standing outside the door of someone who had not invited me over, hoping against everything that she’d let me in.
So that I could taste her again. Touch her.
Now that I was standing there, I wondered if that’s what she wanted too. What if she’d been caught up in the same feelings that had filled me at having her back where it all started? What if she drove away relieved that she could leave it behind again?
I clasped my hands behind my neck and exhaled. This was a batshit crazy idea. I should talk to her in the light of day and make sure she had no regrets. I turned around, ready to leave, when I heard a low moan.
I froze, then moved closer to the door. Again I heard it, but this time I swear to God that I heard my name. Adrenaline spiked swift and fierce. What if she was sick? What if she was lying on the floor not able to move? Shit, what if she’d fallen, broken something?
I knocked, then called out to her.
Nothing. Panic set my nerves on end. I could picture her, on the floor, maybe bleeding. I knocked again. “Tess?”
I heard a curse and something fell.
Now I was half out of my mind. “Tess, it’s Ryan. Is everything okay?”
More mumbling came from behind the door.
“Damn it, Tess, what’s going on?”
Finally she opened the door and before I could stop myself I stormed inside.
The truth of it was I’d battle fucking dragons to save her.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
tess
After I said good night to Louisa and took a quick shower, I threw on my comfiest pajama bottoms and a tank top. Noah was sound asleep and I should be too, but I could not stop thinking about Ryan.
And about that kiss. The one I had started but he more than finished. I would have climbed out of the car and wrapped myself around him right there in his driveway in a couple more minutes.
Being back in that trailer park had opened some kind of floodgate.
Seeing where I grew up, remembering all the good times I had there, how happy I’d been—and all my memories had Ryan in them. The regret, the guilt, had opened a chasm in my chest and the only way I knew how to fill it was with him.
So I kissed him.
And it was everything I needed, but I needed more. The water had been almost painful on my hypersensitive skin, and when I brushed the pads of my fingers over the tips of my breasts, the pleasure would have sent me to my knees if I hadn’t stopped.
I didn’t go any further. Not yet. I sat on the couch and leaned back. Closed my eyes and let myself think about what his hands would feel like. They were rough and calloused and would drag over my skin.
My own hands became his.
I touched myself like a lover would. No, like Ryan would. Purposeful. Confident.
When I slid one hand under the elastic waistband of my pajama pants, I panted. Softly groaned. My head fell back and I spread my legs open. I let my other hand slide up my ribs, over my breast, until I rubbed my palm over my nipple. It pebbled under the touch, and I twisted it between my thumb and finger.
And thought about what Ryan would be whispering in my ear as he touched me.
So close. Oh, God. I pictured Ryan’s face, pretended that the fingers s
liding over my clit were his. Knowing it was his eyes I looked into sent me spiraling to the edge. The tension built, and for a second I hovered there, muscles tight with need, and then with one last brush of my fingers . . .
“Ryan,” I moaned.
“Tess?” a deep voice called out from the front door.
My head shot up toward the door. What. The. Hell. In the fogginess that hovered in my head, I had to be hearing things.
A soft knock followed. “Tess, it’s Ryan. Is everything okay?”
I pulled my hand free from my bottoms and jumped up.
How long had he been out there? Had he heard . . . ?
Oh God oh God oh God oh God.
My legs shook and I stumbled, slamming my toe on the end table.
When I cried out in pain, the knocking got louder. “Damn it, Tess, what’s going on?”
Every nerve in my body was tingling when I yanked open the door.
“Shhhh. Noah’s sleeping,” I got out just before he pushed past me and stormed into the apartment.
He looked around, then swung around to pin me with his stare. “I heard you cry out.”
Oh, kill me now. Heat climbed my face, and I let the door swing shut behind me.
“I was just . . . studying.” But I couldn’t look him in the eye. If I did, well, I hadn’t quite recovered yet from my near-release, and looking at the object of my fantasy would be way too awkward. Especially since I hadn’t caught my breath yet and every movement of my legs reminded me that I had been right there a minute ago.
I dared a quick glance and watched as his gaze roved over me. He took a step closer, then seemed to make himself stop. Were his hands shaking? God, was he mad?
“I stubbed my toe . . .” I stammered.
My nipples were hard and very visible through the thin tank top. I hadn’t quite pulled it back into place and one side was still bunched under my ribs. When he met my gaze, I could see the fire burning in his eyes.
He knew.
“Why are you all flushed?” His voice dropped low, seductive, and he took another step toward me. “What were you doing, Tess?”
My face turned even redder. “I told you. Studying.”
