Out of the Shadow

by J. L. Paul

  “Ally, Jamie told me that you made the A team?” Mark asked as he smiled at her. “Congratulations.”

  “Thanks,” she said beaming. “The team is not too bad this year, but I don’t know how far we’ll make it. I heard some of our competition is pretty tough.”

  “Okay, what is the A team?” Gretchen asked.

  “It’s sort of like Varsity and Junior Varsity,” Jamie explained to his mother. “There’s only so much room on the rosters so the schools in our division developed A and B squads. Our school is sort of small and doesn’t compete with the bigger universities – we have our own divisions.”

  “So why go there if it’s so small?” Trevor asked his older brother. “I mean, with your arm you could be going to just about any of the big universities.”

  Jamie shrugged. “I like Starkeman – it’s a great school and its sports medicine program is the best in the state.”

  “So, when is your first game, Al?” Cole asked as he shoved a spoonful of sweet potatoes in his mouth.

  She paused momentarily, startled that he’d even spoken to her as he hadn’t said so much as two words to her since the brief exchange when he’d first arrived.

  “Our first game is Tuesday,” she said, stabbing her vegetables with her fork. She didn’t dare ask if he’d be there – she couldn’t risk being rejected in front of the entire family.

  He nodded and left it at that as he finished his turkey and gravy. It wasn’t until after dinner that he asked her if they could go for a ride and have a little talk. She agreed and dashed upstairs to get her jacket, stopping only to let her mother know where she was going.

  In his car, the awkward silence lingered above them and she was helpless to dispel it. She was nervous and edgy yet anxious to get the conversation started. She wanted to know if her heart would be thrilled or shattered by the end of the evening.

  Cole drove carefully down the country roads, always mindful of deer that habitually darted out in front of drivers. She didn’t think he had a particular place in mind, was just driving to give them privacy.

  “Al,” he said, his voice hoarse. “I have to head back to L.A. Saturday.”

  “RJ told me,” she said as she clutched the door handle, needing something to cling to.

  “I’ve had a hard time thinking about things,” he said, though his words were forced. “I’ve been working a lot and just haven’t really, you know, sorted things out.”

  “So,” she said as her grip on the handle tightened. A touch of anger welled in her gut. “You don’t know if you want me back or not?”

  “Ally, I just need a little more time,” he said.

  “You mean you want me to go through more weeks of hell? Wondering if you’re going to toss me to the curb or find it in your heart to forgive me?” she asked, her heart ablaze with anger.

  She watched as his jaw clenched and his fingers tightened around the steering wheel. “Yeah, maybe I am,” he said. “Or would you rather I just tell you forget the whole mess and let’s just jump in where we left off, huh? So I can go back to L.A. and try not to think of you here, running around with Robby Redden, kissing him and God knows what else?”

  All air left her body as she struggled to breathe. Her heart crashed at her feet as fury and rage swirled in her gut. “I can’t believe you’d say something like that,” she said, her eyes pure fire. “It took me over a year to … sleep with you and I’ve known you my whole life! Do you think I’d just jump into bed with Robby? Is that what you think of me now?!”

  “No, Al,” he said with a sigh, running his hands through his hair in frustration. “No, that’s not what I meant. I…no, I didn’t mean that. But you know I have a point – it’s hard to be so far away when you’re here, hanging out with Robby on the weekends.”

  “Robby is my friend, Cole. My friend! Yes, I kissed him once but I wasn’t myself when that happened and I know it won’t happen again,” she shouted, twisting her body away from him and folding her arms over her chest. “I will continue to see him because he is my friend and I like him - as a friend. If you can’t trust me then fine – take me home. You can take all the damn time you need, I just don’t care anymore.”

  “Whatever, princess,” he snapped as he made a U-turn and stepped on the gas, anxious to drop her off and get home where he could think without the scent of her perfume smothering him in the close confines of the car.

  When he pulled in her driveway and stopped in front of her house, he didn’t bother getting out of the car. “Please tell RJ I’m waiting for him if he’s ready.”

  “Fine,” she said, slamming the door extra hard. She stomped up the stairs and ripped the door open. She spotted Jamie and RJ in the living room, both eyeing her speculatively. “RJ, your friend is waiting for you outside. Have a nice trip in L.A. I’ll miss you. Good night, Jamie.”

  She spun on her heel, her hair flaring out behind her, and ran up the stairs to the safety of her room. She locked her door and peeked out her window in time to see RJ and Jamie climb in Cole’s car. The tears fell as his tail lights disappeared in the night.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Ally jogged into the gym behind her teammates, ignoring the pang in her heart. She didn’t bother scanning the stands – she knew her parents were there. She didn’t want to see the empty spot Cole should be occupying even though he was already back in L.A. and wouldn’t have been able to make it anyway. It was just the thought that he wouldn’t attend, especially after the way they’d left things.

  And that hadn’t set well with her, either. She’d foolishly let her anger dominate instead of keeping a cool head and it hadn’t settled a damned thing – only made it worse.

  She forced Cole from her mind and concentrated on warming up with her team, casting furtive glances at the opposition. From what her coach had told them, the other team wasn’t a strong contender and should be an easy defeat, but not to get complacent. Ally had no intentions of underestimating – she’d play as she always did.

  The referee signaled the end of warm-ups and Ally hurried over to her coach as she stepped out of her warm-up gear and listened to the game plan. She grinned at her teammates and lined up for the tip-off, her adrenaline pumping through her veins.

  Starkeman won possession of the ball and Danielle quickly passed it to Ally who dribbled it down the court, her eyes darting to each teammate and watching her defenders. Cora, a tall, lanky junior, broke free of her defender and accepted Ally’s pass. Ally took advantage and weaved in and out of the other girls, cutting a clear path to the basket. Cora passed it back and Ally shot, grinning madly as the ball swished through the net. Her teammates slapped her hand as they drifted to the other end of the court, taking up their defensive positions.

  The other team was an easier opposition than Coach Thornberg anticipated and Ally pretty much sat the entire fourth quarter as the coach wanted to allow everyone a chance to play. When the game ending buzzer sounded, Ally jumped to her feet and jogged out on the court to congratulate her team. Coach Thornberg’s eight year old daughter handed out water bottles and towels and Ally thanked her as she accepted her share.

  She wiped her face as she approached the stands, her parents, followed by Gretchen, Mark, Jamie, Nate, and Robby, climbed down the bleachers.

  “Great game, honey,” Liz said, kissing Ally’s cheek.

  “Thanks,” Ally said, her brow furrowed. She watched as Robby and Nate discussed the finer points of the game and wondered why Stacy hadn’t come.

  “You looked real good, princess,” Jay said, grinning. He hugged her and dropped a kiss to the top of her head. “If you’d played the last quarter I’m guessing you might have broken some sort of scoring record.”

  Ally rolled her eyes and winked at Jamie. “I don’t know, Dad.” She extracted herself from his embrace and thanked the others for coming. “I need to get to the locker room and shower. What are you guys doing tonight?”

  “Nate and I have to scout a band tonight,” Jay said. “Mark
and Gretchen are tagging along.”

  She nodded, knowing her father wouldn’t want to stick around the campus long, already several people were gawking at him, Nate, and Mark. “That’s fine,” she said. “I’ll hang out with the young people.”

  “Hurry up and shower, cuz,’ Jamie said.

  She waved, scooped up her warm-up gear, and jogged to the locker room, her ponytail bobbing and weaving behind her.

  “I told you it was Jay Jones,” Ally heard a girl whisper to her friend. “And did you see Nate Crawford and Mark Winston, too?”

  Ally drew in a deep breath and breezed by the gossiping girls as if she hadn’t heard a thing. She collected her shower things and headed toward the showers, pretending like no one around her was staring in awe.

  Once she showered, she crammed her gear in her locker, eager to escape and hang out with Jamie and Robby. But the excited girls weren’t about to let her go quite so easily.

  “Ally!” Cora Evers said, her brown eyes shining. “We saw your dad out there. Will he come to all of your games?”

  Ally smiled at the other girl and held tightly to her patience. “I’m not sure. He travels a lot for his job.”

  Cora returned her smile, inserting a bit of sympathy. “That’s too bad.” She touched Ally’s arm. “I didn’t ask so I could bug him or anything,” she hastily added. “I just love his music. They’re one of my all time favorites and I just thought it was cool that he was here. That Nate and Mark were here, too.”

  “Thank you for that,” Ally said, not able to express properly that it was nice to hear someone simply say that it was cool to see her dad and not ask her for any favors concerning him.

  “You played a great game,” Cora added.

  Ally tried to respond but was interrupted.

  “Ally won’t introduce you to anyone, Evers, so don’t bother sucking up,” Danielle sneered as she leaned against the lockers. “She’d rather keep them all to herself even though not all of them want her.”

  Danielle’s words cut straight to Ally’s heart and her hands clenched into fists. She took a step toward Danielle but Cora snagged her arm.

  “Butt out, Danielle,” Cora said. “If any of Ally’s friends or family wanted to meet you, then they’d ask her to introduce them. Leave her be.”

  Danielle snorted and narrowed her eyes dangerously. She folded her arms across her chest and glared at the two girls. “Ally’s just embarrassed because her boyfriend dumped her – probably for that hot new singer Redden Records signed. She’s gorgeous.”

  Ally’s teeth grinded together so hard that she figured her dentist was cringing wherever he was at that moment. She attempted to rip her arm out of Cora’s grasp but the other girl just tightened her hold.

  “Butt out, Danielle,” Cora said as she yanked Ally away from the lockers and toward the other exit. “Get a life.”

  Once they were safely away, Cora released Ally’s arm. Ally rubbed it absently while her mind basked in the red fury still filling her head.

  “She’s trying to taunt you, Ally,” Cora warned. “She was the same way last year – taunting and baiting the girls that were better than her. I’m surprised the coach let her on the team.”

  “Yeah, well, one of these days soon I won’t be able to walk away from her,” Ally said as they turned a corner and pushed the gym doors open. “And I hope for her sake she’s prepared.”

  Cora smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Just, watch out for her. Don’t get yourself in trouble because of her, okay?”

  “Yeah, sure,” Ally said as her eyes searched the stragglers that had remained in the gym. She found Robby leaning against a wall near the door and sprinted to him, her anger slowing evaporating. “Hey.”

  “Hey,” he said, his brows scrunching together. “Everything all right? You looked pretty angry when you came back into the gym.”

  “Nothing,” she said with a long sigh. “Where’s James?”

  Robby chuckled. “Some girl called him – Marissa, I think. Anyway, he said to apologize.”

  She groaned and hefted her bag further up her shoulder. “I’m telling you, Robby, that boy is going to get himself into trouble one of these days.”

  “Ah, let him sow his oats now,” Robby said, a dimpled smile slipping across his face. “He’s still young.”

  Ally lifted a questioning brow. “And what are you – old?”

  “Getting there,” he teased. “Just turned twenty-two over the summer.”

  “Wow, you’re ancient,” she said sarcastically. She watched as the last of the spectators filed out of the gym. “So, what now?”

  “Let’s go grab something to eat and then you can catch me up on all that’s happened while I was in L.A. for Thanksgiving,” he suggested.

  Her heart twinged but she nodded and followed him out of the building.

  He took her to a crowded fast food place close to campus and they found a booth near the back. She nibbled on her burger, feeling the weight of his eyes on her. She set her burger down and sighed. “What?”

  “I heard that you and Cole didn’t work things out,” he said, concern flooding his eyes. “Do you think it would help if I talked to him?”

  “No,” she snapped. “Not in the least. I know I shouldn’t have kissed you, Robby, but he doesn’t need to make such a big deal out of it. I mean, how much time does it take?”

  She picked up a fry and jabbed it repeatedly into a cup of ketchup. Robby placed a hand on hers to stop her. “He’s hurt, Ally. He wants to get over it so you two can make things right.”

  “That’s what I kept telling myself,” she admitted quietly. The fire of rage sparked in her stomach as she recalled the ugly words he’d said that night. “Until he said some pretty nasty things to me. So, I figure, if he thinks that lowly of me then forget it – I don’t need him.”

  “Whatever he said was probably out of anger and pain,” Robby reasoned. “Just like when you kissed me – you were acting out of anger and pain. It works both ways.”

  A touch of red stained his cheeks and it endeared him to her. But she focused on his words, knowing he was right. She sighed and slumped in the booth. “Yeah, I guess. But I just don’t know what the deal is anymore. Every time we’re together, we end up hurting each other. Maybe it is best if we step back and give each other space.”

  Robby smiled softly. “Spoken like a mature, young woman.”

  She snorted as she picked up her cup and took a drink. “More like a confused idiot.”

  “Nah,” he said as he took a bite of his burger. He swallowed and tilted his head. “Relationships are tough in the best circumstances – it’s bound to be harder for you and Cole.”

  “You sound like you speak from experience,” she said, leaning over the table to narrow her eyes suspiciously at him.

  He laughed. “Not at all. I just watched my sister go through the same sort of thing.”

  “Oh?” Ally said, her interest peaked. “And how did that end?”

  “Don’t ask,” Robby said with a grimace.

  Ally groaned and flopped back into the booth. “Great.”

  “But you and Cole are two different people than my sister and her boyfriend,” Robby pointed out.

  She watched him finish his burger as a smile crept across her face and her heart thumped erratically. She leaned closer. “And what about you, Robby Redden?”

  He gazed at her, confusion all over his handsome face. “What about me?”

  “Don’t tell me someone who looks like you doesn’t have women chasing him,” she said with only a smidgen of embarrassment.