Treacherous: Twisted Youth #1
Page 18
"I don’t know why I said that about your dad," I confessed, burying my face in my knees. I wasn’t good with the dark. I was less than good in enclosed spaces. I was two seconds away from having the mother of all panic attacks.
"I do," he muttered. "You said it because you're a heartless bitch who gets off on hurting me."
"No, I don’t get off on hurting you," I whispered softly, burying my face against my knees. "I'm sorry for what I said about your dad," I choked out. "I have a tendency to run my mouth off when I'm agitated."
My throat felt like it was closing up and I truly tried to stop what I knew was coming next. The second the first sob tore from my throat I felt a wave a bitterness settle over me. I wasn’t a crier and I really hated that Noah got to see me weak.
"Dammit, Teagan, don’t cry," Noah's voice wafted through the darkness. I heard his heavy sigh and that pissed me off even more.
"I'm not crying," I managed to grind out through clenched teeth as I wrapped my arms around my legs and buried my head in my knees. "I'm dealing with something."
"What?" I heard him ask from somewhere close by. An arm wrapped around my shoulder. "What're you dealing with, Thorn?"
God only knows why I said what I said next. "When I was fourteen I was in a car accident," I confided, feeling a little dumb to be exposing myself to a guy who could crush me with his baby finger. I exhaled shakily and allowed him to pull me closer to him. "The car I was travelling in hit a tree and flipped over a ditch. I ended up being trapped in that car all night."
I was opening up to Noah Messina, the boy who terrified me beyond all frontiers.
The boy whose sister made my life a living hell for pleasure.
He was touching my hair and I was letting him do it. I was enjoying the feel of his arms around me.
What the hell was wrong with me?
"No one found us until the following morning," I explained quietly. "By then it was too late."
"Too late for what?" Noah asked softly as he pulled me onto his lap and held me there.
"My mom," I whispered, reveling in the warmth of his embrace. His arms were like a safety net around my body, forcing the fear away. "She died in that car, right in front of me."
I closed my eyes and took a few minutes to get a grip before I spoke again. "I couldn’t see her – it was pitch black – but I could hear her – calling for help, begging for mercy – and I couldn’t get to her. My seatbelt was jammed…I couldn’t free myself to get to her. I was completely trapped and had to watch my mother die. The feeling of being that helpless is something I never want to experience again. But the dark," I admitted, not knowing why I was telling Noah things I still couldn’t speak about with my uncle. "The dark brings that feeling back..."
"Jesus," Noah muttered as he shifted me on his lap so that I was straddling him. "I'm sorry," he whispered as he held my face to his chest. I could feel his heart hammering against my ear.
"So yeah that’s why," I mumbled shakily as I lifted my face and rested my shaking hands on his shoulders. "I'm not good with the dark or enclosed spaces." The last few words escaped my lips in a huge breath.
"This is not the same thing," he whispered and his lips touched my ear when he spoke, his hand cupped my neck, knotting in my hair. "You're safe with me."
"Promise?" I asked, leaning into his touch.
"I promise," he husked.
"Where did he go?"
Noah's arms tightened around me. "Who?" he asked softly.
"Your dad," I replied quietly. "You said he left you and your mom. Where did he go?"
Noah let out a deep breath. "He's dead, Thorn," he said in a gruff tone. "He died when I was fifteen."
"What was his name?"
"My dad?" Noah asked.
"Yeah."
"Antonio Messina," he replied. "What about yours?"
"Olivia," I whispered. "Her name was Olivia and she was wonderful." My throat felt tight and I had to breathe slowly to keep ahold of my emotions. "My dad… my dad's name is Patrick." I clenched my eyes shut, feeling the usual agony rip through me. "He's in Cork, serving a prison sentence."
"A prison sentence?" Noah's voice was gentle and understanding. "So that's why you…"
"Live with my mother's brother? Yeah," I mumbled. "Dad was driving the car that night – he was completely intoxicated. He got four years," I told Noah. "He should have been given a lot more." I didn’t mean that, or maybe I did… Ugh, it still crippled me. Torn between the two people who raised me…
"That's a shitty hand of cards, baby," Noah whispered and the comfort I got from his words was immense. He didn’t try to make light of what had happened, he didn’t fuss or freak out. He simply called it as he saw it.
"Teagan, I didn’t mean what I said about you not being worth the hassle," Noah added. "You ran out on me and I was pissed…It was my pride talking." He shifted slightly, pulling me closer.
"Noah, you were right," I whispered, feeling a sudden urge to clear my conscience. "I am a judgmental bitch."
"I was venting when I said that, Teagan," Noah said with an uncomfortable sigh. "I shouldn’t have called you a bitch."
"You were being honest," I replied. "I've been a bitch to you – I am a bitch to you." Shaking my head, I let out a shaky breath. "Ellie admitted to me that she was the one who broke my guitar and slashed my tires."
Noah's body tensed but he didn’t reply.
"I'm sorry for blaming you, Noah. I just thought…I thought you were like her," I whispered. "When you slammed that guy through my windshield I saw red. I didn’t think about anything except getting revenge." I sighed heavily. "She was making my life a misery. I just wanted it to stop."
"Teagan." Noah spoke softly, causing my heart to flip around in my chest. "I had nothing to do with any of the crap Ellie pulled on you."
"But you were her brother," I told him. "So in my eyes that made you enemy number-two."
Noah let out a heavy sigh. "That made me enemy number two…as in past tense?"
Raw lust and anger fuelled inside of me, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to hit him or kiss him. It was a very unsettling feeling. "I feel like slapping you and kissing you all at the same time," I admitted in a torn voice. "And it makes me feel crazy, Noah, because I know you hate me…"
"Hate you? I'm fucking lost in you, Teagan," he hissed and I think my heart stopped in my chest.
"You're lost in me?" I asked, barely breathing as my heart thundered against my ribs. "You like me…
"Yeah, Thorn, I do." I felt his touch slip away and opened my eyes. "If any other girl treated me the way you have, believe me, I'd have walked away by now."
"But at the Ring of Fire you were so horrible…"
"I was close to losing my goddamn mind that night," Noah replied, his tone suddenly angry. "There you were, stuck underneath all of those people." He let out a sharp breath. "I couldn’t fucking breathe when I saw you lying on the ground, and when I saw him touching you... Jesus, Teagan, you came into my life and it's like…I'm so fucking caught up in you and all your drama," Noah admitted in a gruff tone. "For some reason, unknown to myself, I like you a hell of a lot – even though you're a goddamn thorn in my side and enjoy inflicting pain on me."
"Noah…" I let out a breathy sigh as I contemplated what the hell I'd just heard. "You can’t like me…" I shook my head and shifted closer to him. "It's not feasible…we fight like cat and dog."
"What can I say, I'm a fucking glutton for punishment." Noah chuckled.
I shook my head, sighing heavily, but Noah, quick to notice my mood change, pulled my face to his.
"Stop fighting this. I know you feel it too," he husked against my lips. "This burning heat between us." He pressed his lips to mine. "This primal rawness," he purred before trailing his tongue over my bottom lip and pulling it into his mouth.
"Noah…" I moaned loudly when he sucked on my lip and released it with a pop.
"I've been aching for you," he whispered against my mouth. "Say it,
Teagan," he husked, slipping one of his hands between our bodies. "Tell me you have an absolute fucking urge to feel me inside you as much as I have to be inside you."
What the hell could I do except nod – nod like a demented dog – and wrap my arms around his neck. I wanted him and I was tired of fighting my feelings.
"Noah Messina, you are treacherous," I whispered before crushing my mouth to his.
Rolling me onto my back, Noah covered my body with his, thrusting his tongue inside my mouth while his fingers undid the clasp of my sports bra and freed my breasts.
Sliding the straps down my shoulders, Noah tugged the rest of my bra away in one swift movement before wrapping his warm mouth around one of my pebbled nipples. His mouth devoured my breasts as his fingers dug hard into my skin, trailing lower…
"This is crazy," I mumbled as I pulled his face to mine and ground my hips upwards, rubbing myself against his bulging erection. "What the hell are we doing?"
I clutched him tighter, kissed him harder. I sucked in a shaky breath and Noah's scent filled my nostrils, making me dizzy. "You're so…wrong for me."
The electric sensation I felt when Noah touched me caused me to tremble. I didn't know how far he was going to take this and I couldn't breathe properly, his weight was pressing hard on me, but I knew however far he went there was no way I would stop him.
"Your body knows I'm exactly what's right for you," he rasped through kisses.
"Well my mind thinks you're a jackass," I breathed as I writhed under Noah's sweet caress.
"So gutsy," Noah purred. "You make breathing easy, Teagan," he added in a surprisingly soft tone.
"I do?"
Noah nodded and I couldn’t stop my grin from widening.
Chuckling, Noah curled his fingers around the waistband of my shorts and raised himself above me before sliding both my shorts and thong down my thighs.
"You're a fast mover," I panted, breathless and nervous.
"I just know what I need," he replied huskily. "I've been craving you underneath me ever since you went head to head with me in that black thong and t-shirt."
My brain was screaming about the impracticalities of involving myself with a guy like Noah Messina while my body was relishing this like I'd won the national lottery. "I don’t roll like you," I whispered as I writhed in pleasure. I was denying his words while my body thrummed to his touch. "My uncle's a doctor and you… you inflict pain on people for kicks…"
"Believe me, Teagan, I didn’t want this either," I heard Noah reply as he drew himself above me. His hand cupped my cheek and his nose touched mine. "I still don’t."
"Wow, thanks," I muttered sullenly, feeling heated and rejected.
"But it's not about want when it comes to you," he husked, stroking my cheek with his thumb. "It's fucking need, Teagan. The crazy inside of me needs the crazy inside of you."
I nodded and dragged his face down to mine. The second our lips touched I groaned into Noah's mouth and arched myself upwards, wrapping my legs around his waist.
Noah growled against my lips before pushing my face back gently, holding me inches from his mouth with his hands.
"I don’t want to rush you, Thorn," Noah husked. He was breathing hard and fast. "But if you put your mouth on me again I'm taking you."
Those words were enough to send me in a frenzy.
Crushing my lips to his, I pressed myself hard against Noah's growing erection, desperate for some physical comfort. He needed no other encouragement.
His movements were wild, his kisses animalistic. He wasn’t joking around. Noah Messina was going to fuck me. Right here, on the floor of the elevator, I was about to lose my virginity to the boy next door and I couldn’t be fucking happier.
Noah pushed my thighs apart before lowering his head and taking my clit into his mouth. When he suckled me I arched upward, thrusting my hips into his face shamelessly. I didn’t care how I looked. I wanted him.
He spread me open with his fingers and lapped me up with his tongue. He was vicious and rough and I loved every second of it.
A tightening sensation spread over my body, signaling I was about to come. But Noah stopped and leaned his body over me, staring down at me like an animal about to devour me.
"Wha…wha…why'd you stop," I moaned.
"If I do this then no one else does," he whispered, clutching my jaw in his hand. "Be sure you want me."
There was a hint of warning in his voice and I couldn’t stop myself from lifting my mouth to his. The carnal urge I felt to put my lips on his was overwhelming and overruled all common sense.
The sound of clothes shedding, followed by Noah's lack of contact proved he was getting naked and I pushed my fingers inside myself – the need to come unbearable.
The sound of condom wrapper tearing was all I heard before Noah's hands grabbed my hips, pulling me towards him. Pushing my legs apart with his knee, Noah pressed himself hard against me and I could feel his aching.
"Are you sure you want this?" he asked, pressing the head of his sheathed cock against my entrance.
"Uh-uh." I nodded and rolled my hips erotically.
"Open your legs, Thorn," he whispered as he dragged my hips towards.
I rested on my elbows on the floor and spread myself further.
"Wider," he told me as he placed the palm of his hand on my pubic bone and began to massage my clit.
My eyes rolled back as the feeling of tightening came to ahead.
And just as I started to come, he pushed into me, all the way into me – to the hilt.
Noah's frame trembled above me, his weight came down hard seconds before he stilled. "You have no idea how badly I've needed this," he groaned as he thrust himself deep inside me. "Needed you."
It stung, and I cried out in shock, but my orgasm overrode the pain and my body sucked him in, welcoming his intrusion. I'd given him my virginity.
He won and I didn’t care.
He could have whatever he wanted so long as he kept making me feel this good. It felt like he was my mate in some gutturally primal way. Yeah, we fought like cat and dog, but there was no denying the way our bodies worked together – in sync with the other's needs and limits.
"Are you okay?" he whispered against my ear through breathless pants.
Was I?
I'd never felt better, spread open with him deep inside me. Somewhere in the back of my mind a niggling doubt telling me I'd lost a little of myself to Noah fluttered around and echoed, but the unbelievable sensations I was feeling told me I didn’t care.
I lifted my face to his.
I didn’t even know how to describe the feelings that were coursing through me as Noah plunged his erection into me.
I felt exposed, vulnerable and incredibly breakable for the first time in my life because I'd given him all of me.
The feel of his hard, pulsing cock sliding into me, pushing into me, taunting me was too much.
It was so…
Oh Jesus…
A sudden jolt beneath me caused me to cry out as a wave of ecstasy rolled through me. Noah shuddered as he emptied himself inside me and I trembled beneath him. He bent his head and claimed my lips with his.
And then the lights flickered on.
I blinked rapidly, adjusting to the sudden brightness.
"Shit, the elevator's moving," Noah husked as he slowly pulled out of me and reached for his duffel bag. Pulling a black shirt out of his bag, Noah slipped it over my head and helped me pull my arms through the sleeves before lifting me to my feet.
Noah dressed in record time. "You okay?" he asked in a gruff tone as he passed my shorts to me.
"I…" I shook my head and held onto his shoulders to steady myself.
Was I okay?
I looked into his dark brown eyes and chewed on my lip nervously. My thighs were drenched, but I didn’t dare look down as I quickly slipped my shorts on. "I'm not sure."
That was the truth.
I wasn’t sure of a lot of things right
now. Like how I was feeling or how I should behave around him now.
Oh sweet Jesus…Noah Messina got me on my back…in the elevator of the hotel…owned by my best friend's father.
Bending down I grabbed my sports bra off the floor and my…underwear. My slutty behavior had surpassed anything else I'd done lately and I groaned in shame as I climbed unsteadily to my feet.
My hands were shaking – my entire body was shaking.
I felt like bawling like a baby.
What the hell had I done?
Feeling acutely embarrassed I edged away from Noah until I reached the other side of the elevator and then I stared straight ahead, willing the doors to open and provide me with an escape route.
"You can't be serious?" Noah said in an incredulous tone as he stared at me. "You're really going to pretend that nothing happened between us just now?"
I wasn’t sure what I planned on doing, but I avoided answering Noah.
I avoided looking at him altogether.
"Teagan," Noah said with a sigh as he stepped towards me. "Come on, don’t do this."
I stiffened and shook my head. "Don’t touch me." I had no idea how to deal with the turbulence of emotions ripping through me. I needed space. A little time to this this fucked up situation over.
Noah threw his head back and growled. "Jesus Christ, Teagan," he hissed, bowing his head in obvious frustration. "All I want to do is take …" Noah stopped talking and looked up at my face as if he'd solved a huge puzzle.
"You were a virgin."
It was an assumption – a completely accurate, dead on the money assumption – that I furtively denied when I saw his expression soften.
"You were so tight, but I just thought…" He shook his head and stepped closer. "I didn’t realize…"
"I was not a virgin, Noah," I taunted, lying through my teeth. "I was with my last boyfriend for three years. We had…"
"Stop talking," Noah snapped. "Don’t talk to me about other guys."
"Sex," I continued, ignoring his protests. "He fucked me – a lot." Why was I being like this? Why was I trying to fight with him? "Sorry to burst your little virgin bubble."