Royally Damaged

by Crowne, K. C.

  Once again, he was right, but I didn't wanna hear it right then. He was always intent on bumming me out with his logic and rational thinking.

  “You're always so serious,” I said, looking Catalina up and down.

  I could see between her legs right through to the mirror on the back wall. For a second, I didn't recognize myself. I was used to liking what I saw in the mirror, but I found myself staring at my reflection wondering who the old dude with the stubbly beard was.

  It took me so much by surprise, that I was stunned into silence.

  “Phil? You there?”

  “Yeah, look, Henry. You're right. Maybe I should take it easy for a while. Have some time to myself.”

  “It'll do you the world of good.”

  “Yeah. It will. Call you later?”

  “Sure. Take care of yourself.”

  I hung up still looking in the mirror. Catalina was waiting for me, still perched on the edge of the bed. Her smile widened when she saw me fling my phone on the bedside cabinet.

  “Is there anything else I can do for you, Your Highness?”

  Her eyes focused on my body once again.

  “I saw your story in the newspapers,” she said. “I’ve heard you're quite a beast in the bedroom.”

  My eyes flicked back to the mirror. I was looking rough, real rough, and it was putting me off the idea of getting down to business.

  “I think I'll just catch up on some sleep,” I told Catalina. “I've had a long night.”

  The disappointment was visible on her face, but she didn't complain. Instead, she moved off the bed, gave a curt bow, and said, “Of course, Your Highness. You must be tired. If you need anything, press the button. I'll be here whenever you need me.”

  She disappeared out the door, taking one last chance to look at me over her shoulder.

  Once she was gone, I walked to the mirror and peered into my reflection. The constant partying had taken a toll on my appearance. My eyes were bleary and bloodshot, and my usual smooth jawline was sprouting stubble, so I was starting to look like a wild mountain man.

  Still, my body was in good shape. A solid hour in the gym every morning saw to that. Although, as I lifted up my shirt, I noticed a slight paunch settling in just below my six pack. Gotta cut back on the booze, I thought. Keep drinking like this and I'll get a proper beer belly.

  Maybe I should start paying attention to what Henry says, I thought. Maybe I should actually take it easy for a while.

  Lizzie

  I woke up with a deep pain sending a bolt of agony up my neck.

  "Argh, shit."

  I sat up and rubbed at it. Sleeping on Christy's couch for the last few weeks had really done a number on my back and I'd hardly been sleeping.

  After our engagement party, I'd packed my things up in a hurry and stormed out the house before Adam could stop me. He'd been calling and texting every day since then, but I couldn't bring myself to talk to him. I couldn't believe I ever fell for an asshole like that in the first place. How could I have been so naive? But the last few weeks had cleared my head and made me see Adam as he really was; a cheating jerk who didn't know how lucky he was. He could call me every day for the rest of his life and I'd never, ever give him the time of day again.

  For a long while, I lay on the couch staring up at the ceiling wondering what the hell had happened to my life. Any minute now, I'd have to get up, and get ready for work, but that was the last thing I wanted to do.

  Although I was on the way out the door at Peak Media, I hadn't found a new job yet, so that meant going into the office day after day while trying to ignore Adam as much as possible.

  I made a deal with Eileen in accounts that when she got news he was on our floor, she'd give me a secret hand signal and I'd busy myself with an errand that needed running in another room or a trip to the bathroom. Anything to make sure I didn't have to see him. Every time I returned to my desk, I'd find more chocolates, more roses. There was even a silver bracelet waiting for me yesterday. But I gave all the chocolates and trinkets to Eileen and in return, she was the best lookout the world had ever seen.

  But I couldn't keep that up for long. How long until I had to see him again?

  Fuck my life, I thought, staring at the light fixture. Why can't things be easy?

  Upstairs, I could hear Christy's alarm go off, and a moment later came the squeak of her bed springs. I listened to her footsteps as she walked up and down her room like she'd done every morning since I moved in. Then came a noise I wasn't expecting.

  "Bitch!" she screamed. "You can't be serious?"

  I sat up, ready to run up the stairs.

  "Why would she do this? Why?"

  I jumped up and reached the stairs just as she was descending them. She was running down them so fast she was on the verge of tripping over her Bugs Bunny slippers and falling flat on her face.

  "You'll never fucking believe this!" she screamed.

  "What?

  "Gloria, my bitch sister has just decided that she's going to run off to Vegas and elope with some guy she met at Wingstop."

  "Shut up. you're joking," I laughed.

  "I'm not."

  She thrust the phone in my face until the screen was a mere inch away from my eyeball.

  "Woah, woah. Calm down."

  I took the phone from her hand and squinted as I tried to focus on the message. I was still half asleep, and I wasn't even close to getting a coffee yet, so my brain was still shifting gears in a bid to wake up.

  "Wow," I said as I read the message. "You weren't kidding. But shouldn't you be happy for her?"

  "Happy for her? You're kidding, right? This is typical of her. She knows I'm the one who's getting married next week. Me! Not her. She's doing this just to one-up me. She's doing this for attention, so she can get married before her big sister does."

  Christy's face was growing redder and redder by the second.

  "I'll turn the coffee machine on," I said. "You take a deep breath."

  She followed me into the kitchen. The dishes from the night before were in the sink, and a half-eaten Domino's pizza lay abandoned in the middle of the table. Christy reached in and picked up a cold slice, shoving it into her mouth.

  It amazed me the kinds of things she could put in her stomach first thing in the morning.

  "I can't believe this," she said with her cheeks stuffed like a hamster's. "It won't last, you know. Weddings in Vegas never do."

  "Do you think she'll get an Elvis impersonator?"

  "Probably."

  We both shivered at the thought. I slid her over a coffee and popped some bread in the toaster.

  "But that's not the worst of it," she said. "She was supposed to be my maid of honor, but she can't be now. Not if she's gallivanting around Vegas being a bride herself. I can’t believe her."

  She tossed her pizza crust in the box and buried her head in her hands.

  "She's always doing shit like this. Remember the time in high school, at the talent show, and she-"

  "Stole your act and put together her own Destiny's Child tribute act then came first place. Yeah, I remember. You bring it up like every week."

  I filled up a large mug with scalding, hot coffee and watched Christy fall apart. I put a hand to her back and rubbed small circles, trying to calm her.

  Suddenly, she looked up as though she had an epiphany and said, "Screw her. She can have her crappy wedding if she wants. I don't need her as my maid of honor."

  "You don't?"

  "No, I have you!"

  "Me?"

  "Well, yeah, obviously. Who else could I possibly pick to be my maid of honor?"

  "Well…”

  "Exactly, nobody. Besides, you're more of a sister to me than she's ever been."

  She wasn't wrong, but there were numerous reasons why I didn't want to be maid of honor. For starters, I didn’t think I could handle squeezing myself into a dress made for a much slimmer Gloria. I had been secretly hoping to spend the wedding and receptio
n hiding in the shadows next to the bar.

  But it wasn't just that. The whole idea of a wedding made me sick. These last couple weeks, as I listened to Christy get more and more excited about her big day, and set about planning every tiny detail, I'd occasionally start to feel a lump in my throat and a deep anger in my stomach. I was supposed to be happy right now. I was supposed to be getting married too!.

  I should have been planning my own wedding and worrying about place settings and flowers. But instead I was now a grown, single woman sleeping on her best friend's couch and curling up at night with a tub of Ben and Jerry's.

  Swallowing down my unease, I took a sip of coffee and said, "You're right. I would make a good maid of honor. Anything you need babe."

  "You’re the best," she said. "I know this must be shit for you, watching your best friend get married when you should be walking down the aisle too."

  I cringed. "Yeah it is. Thanks for reminding me."

  She opened her mouth to apologize, but before she could, the doorbell rang. Shuffling down the hall in her pajamas, she opened the door to reveal her mother.

  "I just got Gloria's message!” she yelled. "Did you?"

  "Why do you think I look so angry!" Christy yelled back.

  Christy's mom came stomping into the kitchen, cigarette hanging from her red lips and her hair still in rollers.

  "Pour me a coffee," she said, flinging her car keys on the table. "I need one."

  "Sure thing, Louise."

  I handed her a cup just as she noticed the pizza. Delving into the box, she pulled out a slice and began chewing on it. Like mother like daughter, I thought.

  "What does she think she's playing at?" she asked. "Eloping with some random guy!"

  "Who knows," sighed Christy. "That girl just likes to upstage her big sister."

  Louise shook her head and said, "That girl needs a stern talking to. I mean it'll never last. How could it?"

  "It's okay, though," replied Christy. "Lizzie's gonna be my maid of honor."

  Louise turned to me, pulling a string of melted, congealed cheese from her mouth.

  "Really? Oh, you'll do a wonderful job," she said. "I always said it should have been you, anyway."

  “That’s what I said in the beginning,” I told Louise with a smile.

  “Yeah, yeah, you were right, what can I say?” Christy agreed.

  “Are you sure you’re going to be okay with everything though?” Louise asked me with concern on her face.

  I nodded my head. “Yes, I’m sure. I mean am I seriously bummed that I’m not still planning my own wedding? Sure, only in the aspect that it was going to be one hell of a wedding. I know that Adam wasn’t right for me and I’m honestly glad I dodged that bullet. But it isn’t about me right now, it’s about Christy. She’s the best friend I’ve ever had, and she was there for me when I needed her most. I can suck it up and be there for her too.”

  Christy threw her arms around me and crushed me to her. “You’re seriously the best, you know that?”

  “I know. You’re really lucky to have me.”

  “Oh, my girls,” Louise sniffled as she joined in for a group hug.

  Christy pulled back and looked at me. “As the new maid of honor, I might need you a few days before we originally planned to help me with a few things. Is that going to be a problem?”

  I shook my head. “Nope, no problem. I’ll take care of it.” But deep down I was already dreading having to actually seek Adam out at work the next day and request the extra time. I’d been so successful in avoiding him since our engagement party and now I’d have to put myself at his mercy. I only hoped he wouldn’t make me regret it.

  * * *

  Eileen was sitting on the edge of her seat with a mirror perched on her desk, so she could see down the hall behind her. In another life, she would have made a great private detective.

  "Morning, Eileen."

  "Morning, Lizzie! You got a new assignment for me today?"

  "Actually, for today only your lookout position is on hold."

  "What?"

  She wrinkled up her brown eyes and stared into the mirror to adjust her wild, curly Afro.

  "I'm afraid I'm going to have to bite the bullet and actually see him today."

  "Aw, no. You don't have to do that."

  "I do. I really do," I pouted.

  "Need me to come with you for some emotional support?"

  "I wish I could take you everywhere, Eileen, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to do this alone."

  The thought made me feel deeply nauseous. It would mean seeing Adam for the first time since I walked out of our engagement party.

  "Wish me luck," I said to Eileen as I braced myself for heading up to his office.

  "Wait," she said before I could walk away. "If he has anymore chocolates for you, bring them my way."

  "Not today, Eileen,” I laughed “Right now, I need all the chocolate I can get my hands on."

  I was not in the mood to see Adam. I was in the mood to run away, to hop on a plane and disappear to the other side of the planet. I wanted to be anywhere but in his office.

  As I stepped in the elevator and made my way upstairs, where his office commanded the entire floor, I prayed for a natural disaster to take place. Perhaps a bolt of lightning could strike his office, or maybe he could just drop dead. Anything, to not see him again.

  Yet as the elevator doors chimed open, and I stood directly in front of his office, I knew I wasn't going to be so lucky.

  "Good morning, Lizzie!" his assistant, Sue, beamed from her desk.

  She was always chipper no matter what was happening, and this morning she was no different.

  "I've not seen you in a while," she said. "You been okay?"

  Clearly, Adam hadn't told her a thing.

  "Never better, Sue," I said. "Is Adam in?"

  "Yep, just head on inside."

  Shit, I thought. I had been hoping he'd maybe been called away on business, hopefully to the other side of the country. For an excruciating moment, I hovered my fist in front of his door, then when I knew I couldn't wait any longer, I held my breath and knocked precisely three times.

  "Who is it?"

  "It's Lizzie."

  He rushed to the door and ripped it open.

  "Lizzie!"

  He moved to hug me, and I ducked out of his grasp.

  "Where have you been? I've been trying to get hold of you."

  "I've been trying to ignore you."

  He took a step back so I could see him clearly. It looked as though he'd been sleeping in his clothes, and he hadn't shaved in days. His hair was sticking up on end like a toilet brush, and by the looks of his bony cheeks, he'd lost a few pounds.

  "Come in," he said. "Sit down"

  "I'd rather stand. I won't be long. I just came to ask you one thing."

  His eyes were pleading with me to approach him. He was sitting back down at his desk, his hands clasped together staring up at me like a forlorn puppy.

  "Have you been getting my messages?"

  "I have."

  "And."

  "And what?"

  "And that's it? It's just over?"

  "I didn't come here to talk about us," I reminded him. "I came to tell you that I'm maid of honor at Christy's wedding next week and I need some extra days off to help her get some things done on the island.”

  His melancholy look began to disperse.

  "Of course! I mean, I'll be there too obviously. Ah, the Octavius Islands. My favorite of all the Caribbean countries. I was actually kinda hoping we could go together."

  "Excuse me? Why would you be there?"

  "I got an invitation too."

  "No, you didn't."

  "Yes, I did."

  He pulled open the top drawer of his desk and dropped the cream invitation with the golden writing in front of me. It was unmistakable. He'd been invited too. But by who?

  "I'm friends with Josh, remember? The groom is allowed to invite people too, you k
now"

  "You’ve got to be kidding me."

  A grin began to widen across his face.

  "It'll be great," he said.

  "How so?"

  " We'll finally have some time to talk this over and sort things out. Ah, a whole week together on a tropical island."

  "There's nothing to sort out!"

  But he didn't look convinced.

  "See you there," he winked.

  I stormed out, cursing Josh for being so stupid to have invited him. Wait until Christy hears about this, I thought. She can't let this happen. She can't!

  Philip

  My father had given me three orders since I arrived in the Octavius Islands. Keep my identity hidden, stay away from women, and go easy on the booze. I had, at least, achieved two of those promises.

  Since I'd arrived, I'd scrapped my fancy clothes and opted to hang out on the beach in a scruffy pair of board shorts and flip flops. I'd even let my hair and beard grow a little bit and I was starting to look like quite a beach bum.

  But I had to admit that I liked it. It gave me a more rugged appeal and it certainly didn't scare the girls away. If anything, they seemed to flock to me even more. Not that I was acting on my urges. I'd been good since I got there and had even been going to bed early every night completely alone.