A Winter's Date

by Sasha Brümmer

  I smile and am thankful that I’ve managed to keep his storm at bay for now. “Good. Can we go now?” I reach for my ridiculously large floppy hat and put it on.

  His sinewy arms pick up the bags again as he leads the way into my apartment’s indoor garage. He hauls in his bag and then my oversized pink suitcase into the back of the SUV as I get into the passenger seat.

  “Do you need anything else, Heather?”

  “Ah crap. Wait, I’ll be right back.”

  I unbuckle myself and hop out of the SUV, quickly making my way back inside to grab my iPod. I may not be able to put him in a good mood, but I’m making sure he’ll never forget our first road trip together.

  When I come back he’s sitting in the driver’s seat with the engine running, entering the address of the hotel in the navigation system. It’s already eight in the evening, so we won’t make it to Southampton at an acceptable time for Mr. and Mrs. Somer.

  As I buckle myself back in, I look over and try to make the same determined face he is. I purse my lips and lower my head into his line of sight.

  “So serious.”

  He looks over at me and squeezes my thigh. “I’d take my belt to your ass if we weren’t already running late.”

  My mouth drops open and goes dry.

  Oh . . . oh my God, that was hot.

  I smile slowly. “You wouldn’t dare.”

  He backs out of the car elevator easily as he glances in the rearview mirror. Even the muscles in his neck make me want to jump his monstrous gift. “You just sealed the deal, gorgeous. I hope you packed my lube and some type of ointment.”

  I smile and reach down between my legs into my snack bag, searching. “Mmm, nope, no lube in here. And by the way . . . when did you get lube?” I ask as I pull out a bag of Twizzlers.

  “I bought it a few days ago and stuck it in my shaving kit because that ass will be mine on this trip.”

  I gasp and smack his bicep. “Excuse me? Uhhh, no way in hell.” I yank my hat off and toss it in the backseat. My fingers are clenching the armrests at the thought. “You would never fit! Are you insane?”

  The smirk that forms on his strong-jawed face make my panties uncomfortably wet. “Heather, you better be up for new things because I plan on making it fit. Have you had anal before?”

  I am in complete shock and watch him drive. My thoughts drift when I get distracted by his muscled forearm. He’s got his sleeves rolled up over his forearms and is driving with just the one arm extended.

  This man is beyond attractive.

  I blink and look back up to his eyes. “Wh . . . what? No! Have you?”

  His deep chuckles rings through the SUV’s interior. “Ballerina, you already know the answer to that,” he says as he steers into the right lane of the Queensboro Bridge.

  “Is that something you really want to do? I mean . . .” I chew nervously on my Twizzler. “ . . . you are huge, like, really huge. I can’t even imagine . . .” I trail off.

  He moves his other hand onto my thigh and cups my sex playfully. “It’s a good thing I’ve got this pink beauty.”

  I choke on my candy as it goes down my throat the wrong way, coughing wildly. “Noah!” I reach over and bite his bicep once I regain my composure.

  “You were all for it the other night; there’s no backing out now.”

  I scrunch my nose as I remember our drunken outing with our friends.

  He interrupts my thoughts. “What else do you have in that bag? Is there anything good for me?”

  “Yes, I’ve got Gushers and Gummy Bears.” I lean forward and search my bag again. “And . . . pretzels.” I grimace, hating dry pretzels. “Oh, and suckers and Sour Patch Kids.” Sitting back against the seat, I hold the snack-sized bag of pretzels in my lap, knowing he’ll want them.

  “The pretzels, please.” He reaches over and takes some from the bag. “Thank you, baby.”

  I smile to myself knowingly. “You’re welcome.” Resting my head back, I shift my gaze sideways to look at him. He appears to be deep in thought while he eats his pretzels. I figure, what better time to have a heart-to-heart than now?

  “Noah? Can we talk about something that’s been bothering me?”

  He glances over at me as he switches lanes to merge onto the L.I.E. “What’s going on?”

  “I’m . . . I want to talk about Mae.” I continue to watch him, and I immediately see the invisible wall go up. The lights from the Interstate dance inside the cab of the SUV and illuminate his face.

  His head tilts to the left, and I know I’ve more than crossed the line, but I know we need to talk about this openly.

  “Well?” I prod and turn my whole body to face him.

  “What do you want to talk about? She has no place in my life, Heather.”

  “But she raised you, Noah. You’re really not going to ever talk to her again?” I trail my fingers along his forearm and can feel his muscles clench under my touch, but I continue my attempt to try to calm him. I know I’m broaching a touchy subject, but he has yet to mention her since she was charged.

  “Hell, I thought you understood that I wasn’t interested in having her around.”

  “I know but . . .” I play with the hem of my shirt. “ . . . I thought that maybe you just needed time.”

  “Heather, she took my life from me. The only thing I will ever be thankful for is you; I’m unsure if I’d have you without her.”

  I know he won’t like this, but I try anyway. “Don’t you think she’d like to know that we’re together?”

  “More than likely, but I would have liked to have known my parents.”

  “Maybe you could write her? Or . . . we could go see her?” I ask, sounding hopeful.

  Surely he will forgive her eventually.

  “Heather, don’t. That’s the last fucking thing I want to do. Shit, I’ve never even met my parents.”

  “Don’t what? I really think it’d help you heal if you just talked to her. She’s had time to think about things.”

  “She had thirty fucking years to think shit over. She won’t change.”

  I sigh and resign; this obviously won’t be a conversation he’ll budge on. “Okay, I’m sorry. I won’t talk about it again.” I shift back in my seat to face forward, setting up my iPod to play through the speakers.

  He reaches for my hand and laces his fingers with mine. “I’m not ready yet, I’m sorry.”

  “I know. I’m sorry I pushed you.” I speak quietly and search for the playlist I made especially for this trip. I wanted this trip to be fun for him but I’ve completely screwed that up already.

  He brings my hand to his lips, and he kisses each one of my fingers. “I love you.”

  My heart breaks just a little. I’ve pushed him into a corner, and he’s worried about my feelings.

  I’m such a jerk.

  “I love you too.”

  He keeps my hand to his lips as he drives; the only sound in the SUV is the music I’ve chosen. I manage to peek over at him and he’s brooding. He’s crankier than ever, and it’s my fault.

  “You’ll let me know if you need to stop, right?” I wait for his answer as his warm breath hits my hand, and I just want to curl up in his storm.

  He doesn’t answer me; he just drives in silence, giving me the silent treatment, and I deserve every second of it. I sigh quietly to myself, and turn to look out the window, trying to think of anything I can do to lift his mood.

  After a few minutes go by, he looks over at me. “Are you hungry?”

  Turning to look at him, I nod. “A little, but we can wait.”

  “All right,” he says, before turning on my seat warmer: he knows I love it.

  I lean over a little to get into my bag and look for a sucker. “Are you angry at me?” I ask softly, avoiding eye contact.

  He looks over at me and winks. “Not one bit, ballerina.”

  My heart melts and I can’t hide my smile. I squeeze his hand softly and lean over to kiss his cheek. “Mmm, you smell
good,” I say in his ear, before sitting back in my seat and slipping my flats off.

  He glances over at me and a low, deep chuckle rumbles in his throat. “I’m glad you approve. Do you still have that perfume strip in your purse?”

  I freeze momentarily and then allow myself a glance at him.

  How in the heck . . . ?

  “What do you mean?” I ask, feigning innocence.

  His smile almost does me in—triumphant and cocky as hell. “You wrote the name of my cologne on it. I saw it in the hospital when I was looking for your insurance card.”

  Busted.

  My face is burning from embarrassment, and I’m thankful the interior of the car is dark enough to hide my flushed cheeks. “Oh . . . umm . . .” I sigh and lower my head. “Busted, huh?”

  He leans his head back against the headrest and smirks. “So busted, baby. All right by me—just as long as you don’t pass it on to your next boyfriend.”

  I almost can’t believe what I’m hearing. My heart is caught in my throat when I turn quickly to look at him. “I really hope you’re joking. Next boyfriend? Are you planning on getting rid of me?”

  I’m suddenly sick to my stomach. We have yet to even broach the subject of the engagement ring, and now I’m wondering if this thing between us has an expiration date.

  He reaches out for my hand, and I go rigid. He frowns and looks over at me. “Of course I’m joking. Heather . . .” He sighs and breathes in deeply. “ . . . I know I jumped the gun with that damn ring, and I’m sorry. I won’t forgive myself for that, but I know it’s not what you want . . . regardless, I’m still here.” His voice isn’t harsh or hard. I can hear the regret and pain in it.

  I’m on the verge of tears because I have no idea how to talk about this with him. I want him, of course I do. And I definitely don’t want us to be over.

  “Noah? You can’t say that to me. I don’t even know where to begin. We never even discussed it. Do you think you really want that? Or do you think you just want that because I took your virginity?”

  His eyebrows shoot up and he nods curtly. “If that’s what you think . . . it’s a damn good thing I returned it.” He pauses to clear his throat. “I would not have bought you a ring if I didn’t want it or if I wasn’t sure,” he adds. He looks away as if I’ve reached into his chest and pulled his full, all-loving heart out.

  Great job, Heather. Is there anything else you want to talk about to make this trip worse?

  I sigh and lay my head back against the seat. “I’m sorry. That didn’t come out right, did it?” I ask but not really needing an answer.

  I don’t know why I continue to hurt this man sitting next to me. I reach down and grab my phone, sending Dani a text as I remove the wrapper from my sucker:

  Sister? Are you awake? We’re driving to see Henry and Ellery, and I’m making this trip suck. And no, not in a good way.

  I hit send and put the sucker in my mouth as I stare out my window. The tension in the air is thick between us. I know I shouldn’t feel hurt that he took the ring back, but it does sting a little bit, if I’m being honest. I don’t know what that means . . . but I’m not even going near that to find out. No way.

  I’m sitting here in silence, tasting the blue raspberry flavor on my tongue when my phone vibrates with Dani’s reply:

  Uh-oh, what did you do? This was supposed to be a road trip with ‘epic fun,’ as I recall you saying.

  I dim the brightness on my phone and type out quickly:

  Duh, Danielle, it was supposed to be fun but I went ahead and ruined it before we even got onto the expressway.

  The song in the background changes, and it’s one of my upbeat favorites, but somehow I’m not feeling too Happy at the moment while Pharrell sings. And neither is Noah. So instead of torturing the both of us, I reach over and shut it off.

  He shifts in his seat and runs a hand through his hair. It’s disheveled now, and I know he’s tired. He’s been spending hours studying: eight hours a day in the bar prep class and countless hours at home.

  My phone buzzes in my hand with an incoming text from Dani:

  Heather, you two need to let your hair down again and relax. I know the miscarriage and all of those fights have been hell on your relationship, but you two are so much better than that. He loves you, and you both deserve to finally be happy with each other. Stop being the stubborn ass you are and enjoy his company.

  Dang it, Dani.

  I wish I could tell her she’s wrong and that I’m not being stubborn but, honestly, she’s right.

  My phones buzzes again:

  You love me. Now go give him road head or something. I’m sure he’s anxious as hell and stressed over this situation. He needs my sister’s mouth.

  Dani! You’re filthy.

  I look over at him and he’s rubbing his strong, sculpted jaw slowly; he’s obviously deep in thought over everything I’ve brought up.

  I’m torn as to what I should do right now. Do I leave him alone? Do I let him sit there and stew and question his love for me? Or should I try and salvage this trip and make this experience for him unforgettable?

  I put my sucker back into my mouth and regard him intently.

  I want him happy.

  My phone goes off again:

  Are you sucking his cock yet?

  My eyes widen and I shake my head at my sister’s self-assurance. Jeez, Dani.

  I sigh internally and shut off my phone without replying: I simply have no words for her. I toss my phone into my purse and undo my seatbelt. Without hesitating, I lean over and nuzzle his warm neck, breathing in his crisp scent. “I’m sorry, Noah. I love you, and I didn’t mean to hurt you by what I said.” I continue to rub my nose softly along his jawbone and bring my hand up his concrete chest, testing his mood as well as feeling for his heartbeat.

  His shoulders slump as he relaxes. “You have nothing to apologize for, ballerina. You’re right; I shouldn’t have made that decision without you.”

  “Shh . . .” I shake my head slowly and bring my hand up his pec and over his muscular shoulder. My thumb grazes his neck and I can feel his heartbeat is slow and steady. “Let’s not talk about this right now. Will you just try relaxing with me, please?”

  He nods in agreement, placing his right hand at the small of my back as I lean over the center console. His touch calms me, and I breathe in the charming notes of his cologne that occupy my senses. “And I love you, Heather,” he says as we pull up to a tollbooth.

  I place one last kiss on his neck before removing the sucker from my mouth and sitting back in my seat to watch him pay the toll and drive off. His forearm rests against the steering wheel and my mouth waters. I catch a glimpse of the large vein that runs up the thick muscle and disappears underneath the rolled up sleeve. An idea pops into my head and I grab my iPod and search for a specific song. I hit play, and reach over to lower the volume as #1 Crush by Garbage fills the SUV. Before he can even say anything to me, I’ve taken his right hand and slipped his finger into my mouth. I wait and watch for his reaction.

  He glances back and forth between me and the relatively empty Interstate in front of us as I twirl my tongue around his finger, tasting and savoring the flavor of his warm skin. My mouth waters around his finger for more; I’d rather have his monstrous gift pushing at the back of my throat.

  I shift my body in the seat and suck his finger a little more aggressively. I’m trying my best to keep his mind off of anything stressful, and I believe it may be working. “Am I making it hard to drive?” I ask before biting down on the pad of his finger.

  He grunts loudly and looks down. “You’re making a few things hard, Heather.”

  A genuine smile touches my lips as I let go of his hand and sit back, sucking seductively on the sucker again.

  “Mmm . . . this tastes so good, baby,” I moan out my words as I drag the sucker across my lips, flicking my tongue out to taste it as I would the head of his cock when a bead of pre-come is offered to me. I inte
ntionally drag the sucker slowly down to the underside of my chin. I’m getting so into this that I drop it down the column of my neck and whimper quietly.

  The SUV lurches to the side as I feel his eyes on me instead of the Interstate. “Fuck.”

  I barely even notice the car veering off because of how turned on I am from my own carnal actions. I start shoving the sleeves of my blouse off of my arms in a hurry as I bring the sucker to my lips again and wet it with my tongue. I look down and free my heavy breasts from my bra before I place the hard blue candy on my nipple. I sensually circle it around my now peaked nipple and watch as it leaves a glistening sticky residue in its wake.

  “Holy shit,” is all he can manage to say.

  My eyes move to the remarkably prominent bulge in his jeans, and I whimper, thinking about his girth stretching me open as he plunges into my aching core.

  Arching my back off the seat, my eyes flutter closed at the feel of the sucker running over my heated skin. I can feel the sticky sugar lines that the sucker leaves along my body as I drag the cobalt blue over my skin. I cannot help but imagine Noah running his tongue along those sugary blue streaks that crisscross over my chest.

  He reaches over and pushes my hair behind my shoulder as he watches me turn myself on to a point I didn’t know I could take myself to. “You already taste so damn sweet.”

  I run my tongue over my lips to taste the sweet sugar that covers them. I open my eyes and watch my own movements, as I trail the smooth textured sucker down my stomach. I’m completely drenched just from this little foreplay show I’ve put on for him. “Would you like for me to go lower?” I ask seductively.

  He clears his throat before he speaks. “Lower?”

  I nod and put the hard head of the sucker back into my mouth before hooking my thumbs into the waistband of my leggings and shimmying them down slowly along with my red lace panties.

  I can feel his storm as I sit naked beside him. The electricity between the two of us buzzes and begs for fulfillment, for some relief of any kind.

  I maneuver myself to rest my back against the passenger side door and lift my leg, resting my foot on his hard muscled thigh.