Bye Bye Love

by Patricia Burns

  A couple of days later he received a phone call from another of his old gang.

  ‘Hello, Jonno. Heard you were back. And with a gorgeous French fiancée, so Graham says. Look, we thought it’d be good to all meet up somewhere tomorrow, and bring our womenfolk with us so your girl’s got someone to talk to. What do you reckon? Someone said the Horse and Groom is a nice pub. Do you fancy coming along?’

  Jonathan thought the evening might be a bit of a strain for Corinne, meeting so many new people at once, but her English was improving by the day and, if she was going to front their restaurant, she needed plenty of practice in conversation. He accepted.

  It was Friday evening, and the pub was crowded when he and Corinne went in to the lounge bar. One of his pals jumped up from a seat and waved at them.

  ‘Jonno! Over here!’

  There were a lot of them now that most had girlfriends or wives. They had pushed three tables together and already had a round of drinks in. Two more seats were found and introductions made.

  ‘I’ll get some drinks. Anyone ready for another?’ Jonathan asked.

  It was only when he turned towards the bar that he recognised the young woman standing behind it. Scarlett.

  His immediate reaction was one of anger. Who had set him up like this? He could feel eyes on his back, waiting for fireworks. For Corinne’s sake, for his own sense of pride, he made his way steadily across the room. The other people in it hardly existed. They were just obstacles in his way. His eyes devoured Scarlett. She looked as beautiful as ever, her dark hair done up in a fashionable beehive with a long tail hanging over her shoulder. She was serving an elderly man, laughing and joking with him. Jonathan watched her sure movements, her air of confidence. She looked happy, at home, very much in charge.

  She took some money from her customer and glanced round to smile and nod to those who were waiting.

  ‘Be with you in a minute, sir—’

  And then their eyes met. Scarlett put a hand on the bar to steady herself.

  ‘Jonathan!’

  ‘Hello. Long time, no see.’ He wanted to kick himself. What a stupid thing to say. ‘I…er…I didn’t know you worked here. I came with the gang…’ he explained.

  She was still staring at him as if she had seen a ghost.

  ‘I dreamed about you last night, and now here you are,’ she said.

  ‘Here I am,’ Jonathan repeated. This was terrible. He wanted to jump over the bar, take her in his arms and kiss her.

  ‘That’s one and nine pence change, Scarlett, love,’ her last customer called. ‘When you’re ready, like.’

  ‘Yes, yes…’

  Her cheeks flaming, Scarlett went to the till, rang up the money and gave the man his change. In the short time that took, Jonathan knew he had to tell her the situation now, at once. Leaving it any longer wasn’t fair. She turned back to him. They both spoke at once.

  ‘How are—?’

  ‘Scarlett, I—’ he stopped, then started again. ‘Scarlett, I’m here with my fiancée.’

  ‘Ah.’

  ‘I really didn’t know you were working here.’

  ‘No, of course not.’ She forced a smile. ‘Congratulations. You must introduce me. Which one is she?’

  There was a professional cheeriness in her voice that chilled him to the heart. Jonathan turned and indicated Corinne, who was watching him. He smiled at her and waved. Graham was right, the two women did look very similar. Corinne blew a kiss.

  ‘She’s very pretty,’ Scarlett said. ‘So what can I get you?’

  ‘What? Oh—’ He rattled off his round of drinks.

  Scarlett set about pulling pints and pouring Martinis and Babychams, all the while asking him how he was and how long he would be staying in that artificially bright voice. Jonathan replied in the same fashion. He paid, she brought the change.

  ‘There you are.’

  He caught her wrist. ‘Scarlett,’ he asked urgently, ‘how are you? Is everything all right? Your father—?’

  ‘I’m fine. Just fine.’ She refused to meet his eyes, looking away to the waiting customers. ‘Just coming, sir. Hello, Mr Fielding, how’s the wife?’

  Jonathan returned to his table with the tray of drinks, feeling as if he’d been through a wringer. Through the muddle of people taking glasses and thanking him, Corinne leaned forward.

  ‘What is going on? Who is that barmaid?’ she hissed in French.

  ‘Just someone I used to know, from way back.’

  ‘Were you lovers?’

  ‘She was my girlfriend, yes, but—’

  They were interrupted by one of the gang raising his glass.

  ‘A toast!’ he called. ‘To Corinne and Jonathan! Long life and happiness!’

  ‘Corinne and Jonathan!’ everyone chorused.

  Corinne laughed and thanked them all, leaning against him possessively. Jonathan put an arm round her shoulders, all the while conscious of Scarlett behind him at the bar.

  ‘Thank you! Thank you! It’s great to be back with you all again.’

  ‘Speech!’ someone called. It was taken up by others.

  ‘No, really—’

  ‘Speech, speech!’

  Fists thumped the table. Eyes were watching him, mouths grinning. Corinne was looking up at him in expectation. There was no getting out of it.

  ‘Right, well—thank you for your welcome. You might be glad to know that you’ll be seeing quite a lot of us in the future. Corinne and I—’ Whistles and cheers from the audience. ‘Thank you. Corinne and I are planning to open a restaurant together and, as Corinne seems to like dear old Southend, it could well be here. So I hope you’ll all come and eat with us and help to make it a success.’

  More cheers and whistles. Someone was thumping him on the back.

  ‘Good on you, Jonno!’

  ‘Great news.’

  Everyone wanted to know more about Corinne and about their project. Jonathan was kept busy explaining, translating for Corinne and catching up with all the personal news. When he had a chance to look towards the bar, Scarlett was chatting to a customer. For a moment, their eyes met again, but she instantly looked away.

  One of his mates got up to go to the toilet. Jonathan seized his chance to find out who was behind this nerve-stretching situation.

  ‘So what’s the big idea, then?’ he demanded.

  ‘What? What do you mean?’

  ‘Having this get-together here with Scarlett looking on. You must all be killing yourselves laughing at me.’

  ‘Wasn’t me, Jonno. I’ve never been here before. Bit of a shock for me, finding her here. I haven’t seen her in years.’

  ‘Shock! It was more than a bloody shock for me. You’ve really landed me in it. Corinne thinks there’s something funny going on.’

  His friend gave him a level look. ‘She’ll only think there’s something funny going on if you act like there is,’ he said. ‘It was all over years ago, wasn’t it?’

  ‘Well, yes—’

  Except that it wasn’t. Scarlett still had the power to rake his heart.

  ‘There you are then. Problem over.’

  ‘Right.’

  But he still couldn’t enjoy the evening the way he would have done if Scarlett had not been there. His spine prickled with the knowledge that she could at any time be looking at him.

  The party broke up at the end of the evening with everyone promising to keep in touch. Jonathan and Corinne walked back towards the sea front through the quiet streets.

  ‘Did you manage to follow what people said?’ he asked.

  ‘Yes, some of the time. It’s hard when they speak quickly, or interrupt each other.’

  ‘You’ll get better with practice. Your English is already a lot better than when you arrived. But did you like them? I want you to like my friends.’

  ‘Yes, they were very nice, very kind.’

  ‘Good. Another time maybe we’ll go out in a foursome or something, and it’ll be easier for you to understand
what’s being said.’

  ‘Yes, I’d like that. But Jonathan—that barmaid, that Scarlett. You say she was your girlfriend once?’

  Jonathan took a steadying breath. ‘That’s right.’

  ‘But there is nothing between you now?’

  ‘Corinne, for heaven’s sake! This is the first time I’ve seen her in—oh—three years or so. She’s married. She’s got a kid.’

  ‘I see.’

  Something in her voice told him that she saw far too much.

  ‘Look,’ he said, ‘I’ve had other girlfriends, you’ve had other boyfriends, but that’s all in the past. We’re getting married, Corinne. That’s the future.’

  They arrived at the top of the cliffs, overlooking the public gardens that ran down to the promenade. It was a clear night, and the moon made a silver path across the glistening mud to the deep water beyond. They both stopped and gazed at it.

  ‘So this Scarlett is nothing to you now?’ Corinne asked.

  ‘That’s right,’ Jonathan lied.

  ‘And you love me?’

  ‘You know I do.’

  ‘Show me.’

  She moved into his arms, put her face up to be kissed. Jonathan surrendered to the moment. He had to leave Scarlett behind him. She had her own life, and he had his.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  AFTER that Friday evening, Scarlett held herself ready to meet Jonathan again. She did not want to be caught like last time, hardly able to meet his eyes. Sometimes she saw his friends. They seemed to have adopted the Horse and Groom as a meeting place. When one or other of them came in, she would look at the door, wondering whether he would be following them, whether he would be on his own or with the French girl, but he never came. She longed to know whether he was still in the country, but was too proud to ask. She didn’t want his friends to gloat over the fact that she was still in love with him. When they bought drinks from her she was polite and friendly, as she was to all the customers, but she didn’t engage them in conversation.

  Then one quiet lunch time, when she had just about given up looking for him, there he was. He came straight over to the bar and started talking to her.

  ‘You here on your own?’ she asked, pulling him a pint.

  ‘Yes, I only arrived back in England yesterday.’

  So that was it. He had been in France since she’d last seen him.

  ‘Your fiancée’s not with you this time, then?’

  ‘No, she doesn’t like the crossing. She hates boats. So I’m here on a flying visit to look at premises for a restaurant. When I’ve got it down to the last two, she’ll come over and have the final say.’

  Scarlett struggled to suppress an acid wave of jealousy.

  ‘Oh, you’re opening a restaurant together, are you? That’s nice. When’s this going to happen?’ She tried to keep her voice level and normal, but didn’t quite succeed.

  ‘As soon as I can find somewhere suitable. It’s not easy. It’s got to be the right size, a good position, not too expensive and have nice living accommodation. I’ve found one or two that are in the right place and a decent size. Look—’

  He took a couple of estate agents’ leaflets out of his pocket to show her. Scarlett could hardly bear to look at them. To her relief, she was called away to serve some customers in the public bar, but when she came back to the lounge bar to serve one of her regulars there, Jonathan was still sitting at the bar with the leaflets in front of him, waiting for her. She lingered over getting the one whisky for her customer, but eventually she had to come and look at the choices for Jonathan’s marital home. One was on the quiet stretch of the sea front towards Thorpe Bay, the other was off the Hamlet Court Road.

  ‘What do you think?’ Jonathan pressed.

  ‘They’re both nice,’ she said.

  ‘I know that. They’re both fine as restaurant premises, and they’re both in areas where there’s plenty of money, but what about the living accommodation? What do you think? I need a woman’s view.’

  Scarlett forced herself to look at the details of rooms and sizes. It made her feel quite ill. Lucky, lucky Corinne, to be marrying Jonathan. Stupid, stupid Scarlett, who’d thrown away that chance.

  ‘They’re lovely,’ she said.

  Jonathan shook his head. ‘I don’t know. They both look a bit cramped to me. Corinne’s used to living in a lovely apartment in Paris. I’m not sure she’ll be happy in either of these.’

  Scarlett could contain herself no longer. ‘If she loves you, she’ll be happy to live with you anywhere. In a garage, or a tent, anything. It doesn’t matter as long as you’re with the right person.’

  Jonathan gave her a long, considering look. ‘That’s how you feel, is it? You’re happy to live anywhere as long as you’re with what’s-his-name?’

  Scarlett bit her lip. Why was he doing this to her? He had his Corinne now, he shouldn’t be so bitter.

  ‘No,’ she admitted. ‘It was never like that. And now, if you must know, he’s left me. He went off to Hamburg to play his guitar in the nightclubs, and then just the other week I heard he was living in Liverpool.’

  Jonathan looked shocked. ‘He’s done what? The bastard!’ He reddened and apologised for his language. ‘But honestly, Scarlett, how could he do that, leave you and his child?’

  ‘Children,’ Scarlett corrected. ‘He left just as the second one was born.’

  At that point a group of people came in and Scarlett had to go and serve them, and after that Bert came down to take over.

  ‘I’m going home now,’ Scarlett told Jonathan.

  ‘No, don’t—I mean, look, can I walk along with you? As far as your road, perhaps? I have to—I mean, we can’t just leave it like this.’

  ‘Like what?’ Scarlett asked. It would be stupid to agree; it would only lead to more heartache. But somehow she couldn’t refuse. ‘All right. I’ll go and fetch the children and meet you outside.’

  It was a beautiful summer’s day. Joanne demanded to go to the cliff gardens. Simon, who copied everything his big sister did, chanted, ‘Cliffs! Cliffs!’

  ‘Do you have to go straight home?’ Jonathan asked. ‘I’d love a walk along the cliffs. Paris is beautiful, but I miss the sea.’

  Scarlett found herself agreeing again. She was glad of the children’s chatter as they walked down the street. Joanne only needed the odd word here and there to let her know that her mother was listening, giving Scarlett space to come to terms with the whirlwind of emotions that she was caught in. She couldn’t make out why Jonathan had sought her out like this. Was he trying to punish her by showing off his new love, his plans for the future? Was he just treating her as an old friend? Somehow, she didn’t think it was that. His reactions to what she had said were too extreme. She batted down any faint glimmer of an idea that he might still feel anything for her. She had treated him too badly, and now he was engaged to Corinne. There was no hope of reviving what they had once had.

  They crossed the road that ran along the top of the cliffs and Scarlett lifted Simon out of the pram and let both children run on the grass. She kept an eye on them, but Jonathan was staring out over the mud to the deep water and the hills of Kent beyond.

  ‘It’s best when the tide’s out, isn’t it?’ he said. ‘It’s the real Southend. Remember those days we had out in the Ray?’

  Scarlett’s throat tightened. She drew a shuddering breath. ‘Yes,’ she said. ‘They were wonderful times.’

  ‘You really took to sailing, didn’t you?’

  ‘Yes, I loved it. It was so exciting, rushing along like that with the wind and the waves and everything.’ She hesitated, then added, ‘I often think of what it was like, when I see the dinghies sailing out there.’

  Simon fell over and she ran to pick him up. She kissed him, rubbed his knees and set him on his feet again. Happy once more, he toddled off after his sister, who was racing around barking, pretending to be a dog.

  ‘You’re good with them, aren’t you?’ Jonathan said.
r />   ‘I’m their mum. I love them.’

  They began to walk slowly along the clifftop, while the children ran about.

  ‘How are things for you, Scarlett?’ Jonathan asked. ‘How are you managing on your own?’

  ‘Oh, well—’ Scarlett hardly knew where to start. ‘It’s hard work, that’s for sure. I’m always tired.’

  She explained her daily routine.

  ‘—the worst bit is having to leave the children with their grandparents at night. I hate that. And I’m scared they’ll try to take them away. They keep making hints, saying I’m not looking after them properly.’

  ‘Anyone can see you’re looking after them just fine. I mean, I don’t know much about kids, but they’re happy and healthy, aren’t they? And you’re with them most of the day and they’re asleep at night anyway. It’s not like you’re leaving them alone, or with strangers.’

  ‘I know, but if they told it from their point of view, you know, taking them to a pub every day—’

  ‘You and I were both brought up in pubs, It hasn’t done us any harm.’

  ‘Yeah, that’s true, but the welfare people might not see it like that. And then there’s Dad. The Harringtons are always making a thing about him being a bad influence.’

  ‘Ah, yes. How is your dad?’

  ‘Slowly getting worse—Joanne! Not down the path. Stay along the top where I can see you!—I don’t know how his body can stand it, all that drink. He hardly eats anything, just toast and stuff, and tea. I’ve practically given up making him proper meals. And he’s got the shakes something terrible. I feel dreadful sometimes, sending him off to work when he obviously isn’t well, but if he misses one day, then he’ll miss the next, and then it’ll be a week, and then he’ll lose his job. I just have to make him keep going.’

  ‘You’re twenty-one,’ Jonathan said. He sounded angry and frustrated. ‘You shouldn’t be doing all this. You should be out enjoying yourself.’